And Then One Night I Had A Dream
by NinjaCom
Summary: After Tony has a dream the night after Kort is killed, he starts to question whether Ziva is really gone. Because he's got this gut feeling that she's still alive and he's had it from the start. For Ziva/Tiva fans. Set during and after the events of 13x24. Part 1 now complete! Part 2 has begun (see Chapter 9)!
1. Chapter 1: Inconsistencies

**Hello! Wow this is oddly bizarre. I've been reading fanfiction since I was 13 but I've never had the urge to write one myself. I started trying to write some a few weeks ago but after Tuesday which left me as a distraught sobbing mess, I scrapped my old ideas as I needed some closure. The more times I re-watch scenes from that episode, the more things I find wrong or unbelievable. How can you confirm someone to be dead when you have no physical proof! Are we supposed to believe Orli's word? She never gave Tony an answer about if she was sure Ziva was there! I believe that Ziva is alive and that she and Tali were not in the building. I don't know if that's the denial talking, but there were so many gaping holes in the finale that I could have driven a bus through them. Either NCIS needs new writers or they are winding fans up?!**

 **I just want to say, thank you to all of you fanfiction writers and readers out there. I have read so many great Ziva and Tiva fanfics over the last few years. It's been a pleasure to see how the fans have banded together since Tuesday and I'm so proud to be even just a small piece of this fandom. To all the writers who have written their version of the finale, thank you guys. I have enjoyed reading every one of them and you gave me the inspiration to be brave and put this up.**

 **This first scene is set after the team kills Kort but before Tony goes to see Gibbs. I just felt (and I know that others out there did too) that there was a scene missing there. This was what my mind decided to come up with.**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own NCIS or any of its characters. BELIEVE ME if I did, we would not be in this limbo-land of a mess.

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 **Chapter 1**

 _"And then one night I had a dream. Everything was all lined up together."_

"ZIVA!"

Tony sat bolt upright, panting, desperately trying to draw in a breath. His ears were now ringing; he could feel his heart pounding inside of him. _How could I be so stupid? It all makes sense now. Everything was all lined up together._

Running his hands through his hair, Tony flopped back on the bed. His head was pounding, all he could hear was noise, chaos, shouting. He needed an outlet.

Switching on the lamp, Tony rushed to find his notepad and pen from his go-bag and then sat back down on his bed, cross-legged. Clicking the pen on and off a few times, he scribbled on the pad to check that his pen still worked, then flipped to a new page and began to pour out his doubts and thoughts.

 _1\. They haven't found a body._

It's been 5 days since the explosion and they still haven't found a body or even anything like bones, teeth, human ash? Even after the explosion at Cooper's Hawk Security where Susan Grady worked, Abby had managed to find and identify the human ash after only 24 hours. Surely they would know by now whether or not Ziva was dead? If Orli was as close to Ziva now as she said, she would have pushed to get DNA analysis and results ASAP.

 _2\. We never saw a survivor being pulled from the house._

Surely if someone had survived a major attack like a mortar fire, the news cameras would have been all over shooting scenes of that person being rescued. They would be one of the first people to know and would have had easy access to the scene. The only proof that Tali was in the house at the time is Orli's word (huh!).

 _3\. Don't believe what you're told. Always double check._

The only proof that Ziva is dead is a verbal confirmation from Tel Aviv and Orli. Who did Vance speak to on the phone? Orli? How can you confirm someone to be dead when you have no body, DNA or physical proof of this? Even Ducky said that there was no body.

 **AGHHH!**

Tony screamed and threw the notepad on the floor. His body soon followed, toppling face-first to the ground. Tony sobbed into the carpet. _I'm going crazy. ZIVA'S DEAD, WHY am I trying to convince myself that she's not? Am I that much in denial?_ Tony beat his fists against the floor and chocked out a sob. He was an inconsolable mess on his bedroom floor.

"Junior?"

Tony didn't answer, couldn't. Senior walked slowly toward him, his heart breaking seeing his boy like this. As he neared, he saw the notepad and carefully picked it up. After a minute, Senior sat on the floor next to his son and placed his hand on his back.

"Son, I'm not one for false hope, but when I heard about the attack, I had this feeling that Ziva was still alive. And I know that you had the same feeling. I saw the same feeling in Gibbs' eyes that night in the bullpen. Now it could be a coincidence that all three of us had this same feeling, but I know better now. There's no such thing." Tony scoffed at that and began to wipe his eyes.

"So, are you gonna finish this list. Cos I know you've got more doubts than this?"

Tony buried his face in the carpet and took a few, deep but shaky breaths. He calmed himself down enough sit up and face his dad. Senior held out the paper and pen and after a while, Tony accepted and continued to write.

 _4\. Where's the smell of smoke?_

Senior looked puzzled by this. "Tali was supposedly pulled from the rubble, but none of her clothes smell of smoke. I know that Orli may have bathed and changed her, but Kelev at least should still smell of smoke? And the go-bag that Ziva packed somehow survives a fire without damage, nothing in the bag is damaged and her things again don't smell of smoke?" Tony explained. He fiddled with the pen and then continued to write again.

 _5\. No bruises, cuts, burns._

Tony began to pick at his fingernails. "If Tali really was in the house, how did she survive without any injuries? She doesn't have a single scratch, cut, burn, bruise, nothing! She didn't even need treatment for smoke inhalation, but she's not even 2 years old and was in a burning building, breathing in smoke!"

 _6\. She would have known._

"If someone was after her, Ziva would have known. McGee spent hours contacting people who knew Ziva, someone would have tipped her or Orli off. Even without that, Orli and Mossad have eyes and ears all over the world. They would have seen this coming. Ziva would never have stayed in the house if someone was after her, she'd never risk Tali like that." Tony paused. "There's just no way that Ziva survived being attacked by a serial killer, blown up in Morocco, endured months of torture in Somalia, survives being kidnapped, recovers after a car crash… all of that just to die in her sleep without being able to fight back? That's NOT Ziva."

"No it's not." Senior concurred.

 _7\. Tali was so far away from Ziva in the house._

"Ziva would never sleep so far away from Tali. There's no way that she was sleeping in a corridor down the hall to her. Ziva would have kept Tali in the same room or in the room next door. Besides, Orli said that Tali's room was untouched by the fire, but the whole building was on fire. That doesn't make sense."

 _8\. Kelev._

"Tali's dog?" Senior questioned? Tony gave a slight nod.

"Why would Tali's favourite toy in the world be packed in the go-bag? She would want it with her at all times, not stuffed away in a bag?"

 _9\. Ziva's scarf._

"Ziva put her scarf in Tali's go-bag. The last time I saw her wear that it, she was in Israel and had just been attacked. She sought medical attention and then went underground. Is this a sign? That's she's in danger again, or that she's gone into hiding again, I don't know?"

 _10\. Paris._

"This is the one that is bugging me the most. The photo that Ziva put in the go-bag is from us when we were on assignment in Paris. Why that specific photo? Ziva always did like leaving cryptic clues so I would know how to find her or what she was doing. When she went underground three years ago, she left behind her necklace to let us know she had been there and that she was alive. Later, she texts me a picture of her and Ari, letting me know why she had disappeared. Is this picture of Paris a clue? That something is there for us? Or maybe she is? Oh God that sounds so crazy!"

Senior paused, staring at Tony who still buried his face in his hands, silent tears running down his face. I know what needs to be done, thought Senior. He stood and exited the room, while Tony held a confused look on his face. After a few seconds, Senior came back into the room with Tony's laptop. He sat down on the bed and began to type. Tony, even more puzzled, stood up and sat down next to his dad. The laptop screen displayed a ticket website. Senior was buying him and Tali two tickets to Tel Aviv.

"Dad!"

"No son, let me do this. You need to go back, go and get your closure whatever that may be. You need to know what happened to her, whether it's good or bad news." Senior paused and took Tony's hand in his. "And once you've done that, take a family vacation. Go somewhere nice, somewhere that the two of you can bond, explore, have some fun. You're gonna need it after your first trip." Tony looked up at his father.

"I think I know the perfect place. Ziva loves Paris."

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 **A/N: Please let me know what you thought/how I can improve and if you want me to continue with this? I've got a few ideas but I'm happy to keep this as a one-shot if you prefer. Maybe there is a particular scene that you would like to see? Thank you all again for reading I really appreciate it, have a great day :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Meeting Aunt Nettie

**A/N: Dear Guest reviewer, thank you for taking the time to review. Wow. I really didn't mean to anger you or anyone else. But you felt passionate enough to let me see a big flaw throughout my original chapter 2. So I apologise to you and Tony. I never intended to paint Tony in that light. I never intended to make light of his situation and I'm really sorry if that's how it came across. His anger towards the situation was going to appear in chapter 3 when he went to the farmhouse, but I've scrapped what I had written now and I'll start anew. This is a redo of that chapter, with more of his anger coming through. His anger will be more present towards Ziva in chapter 3, with his anger towards Orli in chapter 4. I really hope that you can read this chapter and please let me know if this is any better. The last thing I want to do is make light of a situation or upset/anger anyone. I will understand if you are beyond angry with me and do not want to read anymore. I won't be offended by this but I can only hope that re-doing this can begin to improve things a little. I'm sorry again.**

 **Guys, thank you for your support. At 11am on 24/5/16 Chapter 1 had 10 reviews, 8 favourites, 21 follows and over 600 views from over 30 countries. I'm just so humbled, thank you! I'm truly grateful to you all :)**

 **Spoiler alert: I do intend for Ziva to be alive and for her and Tony to meet up again. There will be angst between them before they can move forward. If you don't want to read that, I won't be offended.**

 **HUGE shout-out to the 21 followers: 4susan41, 1994omi, Athenalarissa, Aubrey Etta, HarrylovesGinny09, HoldxOn, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, Mockingprettygirls, Rach4, angry penguin, bunnykoko, cindy Seidenberg, klutzysunshine, kurrumu, love is only a dream, moviesmadewithlove, ncisgirl18, scarredlove, seriously56 , sonckad and tazmania081005.**

 **HUGE shout-out to the 8 people who favourited: HarrylovesGinny09, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, Mockingprettygirls, cindy Seidenberg, kurrumu, love is only a dream, seriously56 and tazmania081005.**

 **HUGE shout-out to the 10 people who reviewed (this includes guest reviews): Cham-TIVA4ever, angry penguin, TivaRulesInGreece, anniemous27, HarrylovesGinny09, Qoheleth, Sue Dooley, Guest, Debbie and Libs1709. I hope that the 6 with FF accounts got my replies ok and I will reply to the guest comments below as they didn't appear under the reviews page (I'm so sorry I've got no idea why this was).**

 **Sue Dooley: Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm really glad that you enjoyed the first chapter. YES! Tiva forever haha :)**

 **Guest: WOW haha! Thank you so much, I really hope that once this story is finished that I will be inspired to write more TIVA fanfics. Thank you, you've made me feel encouraged to do so :)**

 **Debbie: Thank you so much for your review! I have written Chapter 3 about Tony going to the farmhouse, but I will definitely be including your suggestion for him to go to the orchard, thank you! :)**

 **Libs1709: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad that you enjoyed chapter 1, I really hope that I can continue this story well for all of you :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 2 Tel Aviv, Israel Sunday 22nd May 2016 4pm**

"Net-Net!" squealed Tali, reaching out her little arms towards Nettie.

"Shalom, my little motek! My, how you have grown since I last saw you" exclaimed Nettie, gathering Tali in her arms. She closed the door after Tony and turned back to face him.

"Anthony", she sighs, drawing him into a big hug, squashing Tali in the middle of them who squealed and giggled loudly. "It is so good to finally meet you. I am only sorry that our first meeting had to be under these circumstances."

"Me too. Thank you for letting us stay here, Nettie, I don't want to intrude" Tony explained. Nettie wouldn't have any of it, shaking her head.

"Nonsense, Tali is an incredible gift and she is family. _Both_ of you are. Ziva spoke of you all the time and I could see what she felt. She loved you with all her heart, Anthony, please say that you know this?"

Tony sighed, then looked down at his hands. Nettie noticed that he was absent-mindedly rubbing his ring finger. "Yes. I do. And I love her so very much… I don't think I've ever stopped." Nettie smiled sadly at this and beckoned him towards her sofa, where they both slumped into the cushions, Tali seated on Nettie's lap. She started to squirm and mumble, so Tony unzipped the go-bag and handed Kelev to her. While she contemplated this for a moment, she happily took the dog and began to try to bite its ear.

Nettie laughed gently. "She's definitely her mother's daughter!" Tony gave a small smile at this.

"You seem troubled my dear, and not just by the news about our Ziva". Tony glanced back to Nettie, trying to think of where to start.

"I guess, I'm still just trying to wrap my head around, why she didn't tell me. About Tali" he indicated towards his daughter, who was happy babbling away to Kelev.

"Oh my dear" Nettie began as she took Tony's hand, "she wanted to tell you. But she went through a tough pregnancy. She had pre-eclampsia and was put on bed rest from her fifth month of pregnancy. So she decided to wait until after Tali was born, in case she or the baby did not make it."

"And what about after that? Tali's nearly 2 now, why didn't she tell me? I would have been there for her. For both of them!"

Nettie was silent for a moment, trying to think of where to start, how to start. She stroked Tali's short curls for a while before she got her words together.

"Ziva was so unsure about what to say to you. She felt that she had pushed you away for good. How could she explain that she had a daughter with you? Ziva did not want to disrupt your life further. She knew that you would leave NCIS and your family if you knew. She had asked you to move on and you had."

"That still gave her no right to hide our daughter from me!"

"Anthony…"

"NO! She should have told me! She's not the only one who had a broken family. Did Ziva not trust me? I'm not the man who was afraid of commitment and children anymore. I spent the last 3 years thinking about how we could have started a family and now I learn that she was hiding Tali from me! I thought she knew me better than that."

"Tony…"

"Look, can you take care of Tali for a little while? Please?" Tony rushed. Nettie raised her eyebrows in surprise and then frowned deeply at him.

"Sure it is not a problem, why?"

Tony paused, then exhaled and continued to look down at the floor. Finally, he looked back at Nettie.

"I have something that I need to do."

Nettie slowly nodded and looked at him knowingly. She reached out and took his face in her hands.

"Go, find your answers, Anthony."

* * *

 **A/N: Next chapter will see Tony go back to the farmhouse and the orchard from PPF. I didn't want Tali to see the house after the fire so she will be with Nettie. Any suggestions/comments about where I should take this story, what you would like to see or anything that I need to improve, let me know. Thank you for reading this far :)**


	3. Chapter 3: Checking the Farmhouse

**Hello everyone, thank you all so much for reading this far. If you haven't already done so, please go back and read chapter 2 before starting this one as I took it down and re-wrote it this morning. I hope that it is a better chapter now.**

 **Thank you for continuing to read this story, I hugely appreciate all of you who take the time to read this, I'm truly grateful for that.**

 **Thank you to everyone who added this story to their favourites: HarrylovesGinny09, Kim69etv, Krazzy Kezz, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, Mockingprettygirls, cindy Seidenberg, hlaughlin93, kurrumu, libs1709, love is only a dream, melitami, seriously56, srshibaharah and tazmania081005.**

 **Thank you to everyone who put this story on their alert list: 4susan41, 1994omi , Athenalarissa, Aubrey Etta, Brightlight94, EowynGoldberry, Fahrenhheit, HarrylovesGinny09, HoldxOn, Kim69etv, Krazzy Kezz, Lipush, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, Mockingprettygirls, Rach4, SUZITROUBLE, angry penguin, anniemous27, beckums8685, bunnykoko, cindy Seidenberg, giggles11228, kissedyouwithfire, klutzysunshine, kurrumu, libs1709, love is only a dream, moviesmadewithlove, ncisgirl18, scarredlove, seriously56, sonckad and tazmania081005.**

 **Thank you everyone who has also sent a review. I'm going to respond to those from chapters 2 and 3 when I upload chapter 4 so that I can see what you make of the new chapter 2. I hope that this is ok with all of you.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3 Eli David's farmhouse, Israel Sunday 22nd May 2016 6pm**

Tony nearly collapsed as he stepped out of the car. The smell of smoke filled the air, even now, days after the explosion and destruction. It had an immediate chokehold effect on him and Tony couldn't help but cough and splutter. _This was not going to be easy._

He slowly walked closer towards what remained of the farmhouse. Suddenly, he was beginning to doubt his list. _What if she really didn't make it? Am I prepared for that? This was a bad idea, maybe I should turn back now…?_ NO, he needed to know, one way or the other, Tony was going to find out what happened to Ziva David.

After his talk with Nettie, Tony needed space to clear his head. He had almost wondered to himself why he had come here, after all there was nothing left here to give him answers. But he needed to see this place one last time, the place where he had found Ziva 3 years ago. The place where they had finally given into temptation. The place that they could have become a family. He was still beyond angry that she hid from him. But seeing the wreckage in person only made him wish more that she was still alive. So he could hug her so hard that it would rival Abby's. Then he wanted a word with her.

On approaching the wreckage, Tony noted that all that remained was burnt pieces of wood. Everything else had been reduced to ash and rubble. The clean-up crew were on sight, clearing away the broken shell of what remained of the farmhouse. _Oh God, by the state of this, no one could have survived…_

He couldn't look at this anymore.

Going around the remains of the farmhouse, Tony continued wandering East for a few minutes and stopped as he neared his destination. _It hasn't changed at all…_

The orchard had thankfully been untouched by the fire, it never made it this far. Walking through this place now, Tony couldn't help but remember his and Ziva's last conversation here…

 _"Just come home. Just, I just want you to come home with me."_

 _"I don't think that's a very—"_

 _"Hey, listen, I know it's hard and I know you want to change. I can change with you."_

 _"I'm fighting for you, Ziva."_

 _"I know."_

Tony shook off the ghosts and found the area where Ziva had buried her 'I Will' list. He sat cross-legged on the ground before flopping onto his back, running his hands over his face in frustration.

"Why didn't you listen to me back then?" muttered Tony to himself. "Why didn't you come home with me? Or let me stay here with you?" But he already knew the answer to that, he'd had 3 years to get that. Because she needed to change by herself. Find herself. She was nowhere near ready to be with him back then. _"But she was ready to be a mother?"_ Tony thought. " _Woah, no that's low, she didn't plan on that happening. Neither of us bothered to take precaution that night. But she did then hide for nearly 3 years with our daughter..."_

Tony growled in anger. He sat bolt upright, reached for a rock and threw it across the orchard, screaming as loud as he could.

 _"Feel better?"_

 _"No, but it's a start."_

"OH SHUT UP!" he yelled out. "Don't even go there! I have every right to be angry at you right now. I had every right to know about Tali almost 2 years ago. You took 2 whole years from me, from us getting to know each other. I'll never get that back." Tony put his head in his hands, silent tears running down his face.

"God, Ziva, I don't understand you. I don't understand myself right now! I'm so mad at you right now but I just can't help but love with you still. I love you, Ziva. So, so much. But this may be unforgiveable. I need to hear it from you, why you didn't tell me. Please be alive…"

He reached into his right pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. Leaving it unfolded, he stared at it for a second. He was going to get those answers to those 10 mysteries once and for all. For Tali. For Ziva. For himself.

This place held all the questions and it gave him some closure to visit the place of Ziva's alleged demise. Now he needed to go the places that would give him the answers.

Tomorrow.

For now, all he wanted was to go and see and hug his amazing little girl. And that's just what he was going to do…

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 **A/N: Thank you for reading this, next will start with a little bit of light-hearted Tali, Tony, Nettie family time to ease the tension, but will mainly consist of an interesting conversation between Tony and Orli.**


	4. Chapter 4: An Unsettling Realization

**Wow, chapter 4! I** **definitely** **wouldn't be here without all of you. Everyone who has clicked on this fanfic, read my ramblings, reviewed, clicked favourite, clicked follow, all of you. You're all amazing, incredible people and I trust you guys with this fanfic. You make me want to do this justice and make changes no matter how big or small to improve this story. Shout-out to Debbie who inspired me to write the scene with Tony in the orchard, fantastic idea! I truly appreciate your input, full credit to you there! :) Warning: this was a hard chapter to write and it broke my heart to write that last scene. Please let me know what you make of this or if there is anything you would change? If I have missed off your name below, feel free to send me a virtual head-slap!**

 **Thank you to all of you who are following this: 1994omi, 4susan41, angry penguin, anniemous27, Athenalarissa, Aubrey Etta, beckums8685, Brightlight94, bunnykoko, cindy Seidenberg, EowynGoldberry, Fahrenhheit, giggles11228, HarrylovesGinny09, HoldxOn, James the vet, Kim69etv, kissedyouwithfire, klutzysunshine, Krazzy Kezz, kurrumu, libs1709, Lipush, littlecook28, love is only a dream, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, Mockingprettygirls, moviesmadewithlove, ncisgirl18, Rach4, scarredlove, seriously56, sonckad, SUZITROUBLE, tazmania081005, Lgehris, Tiva-Forever-08, hopalong123546, tammy henson and DetectiveInspectorSydney.**

 **Thank you to everyone who clicked favourite: Ebony After, HarrylovesGinny09, James the vet, Kim69etv, Krazzy Kezz, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, Mockingprettygirls, cindy Seidenberg, hlaughlin93, kurrumu, libs1709, love is only a dream, melitami, seriously56, srshibaharah, tazmania081005, Lgehris, Tiva-Forever-08, hopalong123546, tammy henson and DetectiveInspectorSydney.**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed chapter 2 and chapter 3. I hope that those with FF accounts got my replies ok: angry penguin, TivaRulesInGreece, libs1709, anniemous27, srshibaharah, Lipush, Clementine20. Thank you to Guest, Debbie, Stella and Sue, here are my replies to you guys.**

 **Dear Debbie: Thank you so much for your reviews and your inspired idea, you're totally right Tony needs to let his anger and emotions out. Yes, positive thoughts, he WILL find Ziva haha :)**

 **Dear Guest: Wow. Firstly, can I just say THANK YOU. Just by you clicking on my fanfic again after my story had upset you is so mature and I wasn't sure if I had made you want to avoid reading this any further. It means even more to me that you not only read both my re-write of chapter 2 and my chapter 3 but you also commented on them both. They were both absolutely beautiful responses which left me speechless, humbled and I cried after reading them. I'm so glad that this story seems more realistic now and please don't worry about your first review, your response was totally justified and I won't be deleting it from the reviews page. It will be my reminder to check that my writing is realistic. I owe you a thank you, you have given my story much more of a direction that I originally had and I have to credit that to you. It takes a special kind of mature, lovely person to be as forgiving as you have been. I only hope that I can maintain this realism for all of you. Thank you :)**

 **Dear Stella: Thank you so much for your review, haha don't worry I'm awful at remembering passwords! Wow I'm so glad that you are enjoying this story, your comments are so lovely :)**

 **Dear Sue Dooley: Thank you! I really appreciate your review, I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. Let the TIVA live on in our hearts :)**

 **Warning: I'm not Israeli, I've never been to Israel and I can't speak Hebrew. If I have made any mistakes below, please let me know.**

* * *

 **Monday 23rd May 2016 6am Nettie's House, Israel**

"Abba…" poke, poke, "Abba…" nudge, nudge, "ABBA!"

Tony, still half asleep, groaned and rolled back over, covering his face with his pillow. He fell back to sleep right away, oblivious once more. Tali huffed and resumed saying "Abba" and poking her father, but to no avail. After a little while, Tali stopped and thought carefully, her face scrunching slightly. She looked around the room for the perfect thing. "Ah!" she gasped, carefully working her way to the other side of the bed where a small side table was sat beside it. Slowly, she edged forward, stretching her little arms, trying to reach what she had her eyes set on. Finally, it was within her grasp…

"AAHHH!" Tony screamed and shot bolt upright, looking frantically around the room for the source that had awoken him. His eyes finally set on his little girl, while drops of water fell from his face and hair. He looked at her, shocked. It had reminded him of when Ziva had done the same thing when they went undercover as married assassins. Tali, still holding the now empty glass, held a cheeky grin on her face and when Tony looked at her, she burst into a fit of giggles.

"Oh you think this is funny, huh?" Tony joked. "Well, I think that daddy deserves a hug after that wake-up call!" Tony picked Tali up and gave her a big hug, tickling her covering her in water now, too. She squealed and laughed even more and squirmed to try and escape being covered in more water. But in the end, her and Tony had a tickling fight and just collapsed into a pile of giggles, hugging each other tightly.

Nettie just smiled from the doorway and walked away to the kitchen, leaving father and daughter to bond.

* * *

The last almost week had been tough. Well, that was an understatement. Finding out about Ziva, gaining Tali, leaving NCIS… Tony decided that he wanted to spend the day with his daughter. With their daughter.

Every time that Tony had been to Israel, he had not stayed long and he had never been able to go sight-seeing. So after Nettie suggested some tourist attractions that would be suitable for a child, they let Tali decided where she wanted to go for the day. He was insistent that Nettie should join them and after her initial concerns about intruding on their bonding time, she relented and happily joined them on their family day.

That's how they ended up at the Ramat Gan Safari Park in Tel Aviv, as Tali wanted to see the animals. She had been amazed from the start of their day, her face lighting up even more as the day went on. Tony couldn't help but smile with her and they spent the day making animal faces and noises, much to Nettie's amusement. She had taken countless photos of the two of them after Tony showed her how to work his phone. Tali had especially loved the chimpanzees and had spent the afternoon imitating her new favourite animal while running around the children's play area with Kelev and Tony. After buying a chimpanzee toy from the gift shop, she managed to tire herself out and fell asleep in the car on their way back to Nettie's house, with Kelev and Shimpânza the chimp. Things were a little quiet, awkward even in the car, with neither adult knowing quite what to say. With Tali asleep for now, Tony wanted to find some more answers from Nettie.

"Did you and Ziva still talk?" he questioned, turning his head to face her. "When she came back to Israel? I mean, I know that you two were close and that you knew about Tali. But did you seem them much?"

Nettie was quiet for a few seconds, concentrating on the road ahead. "After she left NCIS, she kept herself hidden away. I didn't hear much from her, just the odd photograph she sent me every few days. Pictures of her, her mother, her sister, me – I was not sure what was going on. Then, one day she called me and explained that you had tracked her down. That she was choosing to stay in Israel. She was heartbroken that she had made you leave but she felt that it was the right thing for both of you at that time. Ziva had lost too many people and blamed herself for all of them. She knew that she was no good to you in a relationship back then."

Tony huffed quietly and shock his head slightly. "I didn't care about that. I would have helped her through it." He paused for a moment, clearing his head. "What happened next?"

"We spoke on the phone once a week. I insisted. She was worrying me. But then there was a week during December that she missed our call. I couldn't reach her so I went to the farmhouse. She was sitting on the couch holding two photographs, crying quietly. The first was a picture of the two of you and the second was a sonogram. Ziva explained to me that she had not been feeling well and had gone to see a doctor. I was shocked but I was so glad that the two of you had finally given in to your love. Ziva did not feel that she deserved to be a mother but she was completely certain about keeping the baby. She wanted a new start and she was so happy to have a piece of you with her."

"We should have been altogether. Whole."

Tony sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. He began to look a bit guilty about his outburst. But Nettie would have none of this.

"Anthony, I am glad that you are letting this anger out and talking about it. I would be more worried if you were not angry right now."

He looked down at his hands, needing a moment to process everything. As Tony had already asked Nettie about why Ziva didn't tell him about Tali, he decided leave this alone for the moment. "What about recently? Did you see or speak to them?"

"It was strange though… the last few weeks I did not hear from her at all. I thought that maybe Tali was not well or something. But when I went over to check on them, there was no one there. It was clear to me that Ziva had been there, packed a bag and gone. So I contacted some people that she may have gone to, to see if anyone had heard from her. No one had spoken to her recently. They all thought that Ziva and Tali were still in the farmhouse."

Tony turned to face her full on now, his eyebrows furrowing.

"You don't believe they were there? When the attack happened?"

Nettie sighed. "There are days that I do not know what to believe anymore."

Tony opened his mouth a little, slightly taken about by her honesty. _He knew that feeling all too well_.

"Who did you contact, Nettie?"

"Well, let me think… just Shmeil, Ziva's friend Adam, that woman Orli, then – "

"Woah woah woah, back it up there. You spoke to Orli? About being worried about Tali and Ziva?"

"Yes, why, is there a problem?"

"No… it's just… why didn't Orli mention that to me?" Tony went quiet and began to stare out of the passenger side window, covering his mouth with his right hand. _Why did Orli lie to Nettie? She knew they were in danger. That someone was looking for Ziva. Maybe she didn't want to worry Nettie…_

* * *

Their family evening was a quiet one. Tony was beginning to worry about Tali. Since she had woken up after falling asleep in the car, she had been very quiet and she had been fussy during dinner. So Nettie pointed Tony in the direction of her movie collection and he quickly found all of the Disney films on the shelf. Tali carefully looked through the selection and made her choice.

Nettie sat on the end seat of the couch, while Tony sat on the floor in front of it with Tali on his lap. Luckily this perked her up and she spent the film babbling along, trying to join in with the words and Tony couldn't help but join in with her. Nettie watched them from behind, a sad smile on her face. _I wish that you could have seen this, my Ziva. They are perfect together._

Tali just about made it to the end of the film before her eyelids began to droop and she slowly feel asleep, curled up against her Abba. Tony looked down at her and couldn't help the tears that sprung to his eyes, threatening to appear. _She is my world, my everything. I love her._

Tony stood up slowly and lifted Tali into his arms, wincing slightly after sitting on the floor for so long. He bid goodnight to Nettie and carried his daughter through to the guest room which they were currently sharing and tucked her in to the small spare bed that she was currently using.

"Laila Tov, Tali. Ani Ohev Otach." He kissed her forehead, then went over to his own bed and settled down to sleep.

* * *

Tony couldn't sleep. All he could think about was that list. And what Nettie had told him in the car. Everything was pointing to Orli right now. He was missing something and he was certain that she knew the answers.

Tony flopped onto his back. _Why are you doing this? She lied to you for 3 years, hid your daughter from you? Why are you here?_ he wondered. _Because Tali deserves to know what happened to her Ima… And you still love her._ Was he insane? He still loved Ziva after she lied to him?

"Mmmm…" Tony's head shot around at that sound. "Mmmm…"

Tali had rolled onto her side, whimpering in her sleep, stuck in a nightmare. Tony couldn't sit there and do nothing and he immediately went and stood by her bed. Remembering all the times that he had woken Ziva from a nightmare, he knew that he would have to be just as careful here. He touched her shoulder carefully.

"Tali… Tali sweetie, wake up." He shook her shoulder slightly.

"IMA!" she cried, sitting straight upright. Tali looked frantically around the room, her eyes settling on Tony. "Ima!"

Tony's heart broke. That's why she had been so quiet. Tali had begun to realise that she had been away from her Ima for too long and that something was wrong. All this little girl wanted was her mum.

"Ima." she whimpered, tears beginning to flow down her cheeks.

"Oh my baby" Tony didn't know what to say. There was nothing that he could say to make this better. He didn't even know what was going on. So he did the only thing that he could do and gathered Tali into his arms, letting her cry. He couldn't help but cry with her now.

He felt angry again now. Angry at Kort for taking Ziva, his family away from him. Angry at him for making a little girl motherless. Angry at Orli for not giving him a straight answer. Tony made up his mind. No one was going to upset his daughter like this. He wanted a word with Orli. And this was long overdue.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you guys for reading, you're all amazing! Okay, that got a bit heavy at the end. I'm so sorry Tali. I just felt that the episode didn't show how being away from her mum affected Tali. Maybe she just needed the time to process that information? Next up: Tony vs Orli!**

 **Shimpânza: Chimpanzee**

 **Laila Tov: Good night**

 **Ani Ohev Otach: I love you (from a male to a female)**


	5. Chapter 5: Confronting Orli

**Here we go guys, chapter 5! Thank you all so so much for your support towards this story and me. I know that I keep saying this but I really hope that you all know how unbelievably grateful I am. Okay, I spent yesterday with a notepad and pen, spit-balling some ideas about where to take this story. I think that this is going to be a story of 2 parts: Part 1 (Chapter 1 to chapter 7?) with Tony looking for answers and raising his daughter. Part 2 will then look at resolving family issues and thinking about where they are going to live/settling down. I just don't want Tony to spend the whole story chasing after Ziva. He did that for Somalia and then when Parsa was around. He spent months looking for Ziva 3 years ago, but she didn't want to be found then, she was constantly moving locations and they didn't have Tali. Now, Tony has Tali to think about, he wants to settle down and be a family. Please let me know what you think about this, if there's anything that you would change or like to see in a future chapter. If you guys don't like this idea, I'm more than happy to try something else :)**

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 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I hope that those with FF accounts got my replies ok: angry penguin, nattlouu, TivaRulesInGreece, Cham-TIVA4ever, HarrylovesGinny09 and James the vet. Thank you to Chickie10016, Debbie, Stella and Sue, here are my replies to you guys.**

 **Sue Dooley: Thank you so much for your lovely review! Haha all of the feels :) I hope that Orli can give a lot of needed answers over these next 2 chapters… :)**

 **Debbie: Thank you for reviewing! I'm really glad that you enjoyed the trip to the zoo, they definitely needed some time as a family. While Tony is looking for answers, he also has his daughter to think about. Haha thank you Tali is just as cheeky as her parents, the water wake up was fun to write! Oh yeah, Tony needs a word with Orli :)**

 **Stella: Thank you so much for your kind words! Haha no way I'm so on the "Ziva's not dead team" so that's at least 2 of us! Thank you so much, your comments really mean a lot :)**

 **Chickie10016: Firstly, thank you for your beautiful comments! Secondly, welcome aboard! I'm really chocked by your review. Thank you, yeah I'm a bit of a sucker for the little details. Your comments about my writing really mean a lot. I find creative writing tough as I'm my own worst critic so it's nice to hear that the emotions feel real and that this reads ok. Thank you :)**

 **So this one is set after Tali's nightmare. Tony has managed to get her to sleep again and he asked Nettie to stay in the room with her.**

* * *

 **Tel Aviv, Israel Tuesday 24th May 2016 2am**

"Agent DiNozzo… Tony… what a – "

"You can stop right there, Orli. You knew I was in the country; it was only a matter of time before I came to see you." Orli smiled slightly ( _I saw a cat smile like that once_ , sprang to mind, thought Tony).

"I will admit, Anthony, that I expected to see you storm into my office, not my house in the middle of the night." She closed her front door behind him and walked into her living room, Tony following behind. Orli pointed to the sofa but Tony simply folded his arms and leaned against the wall, simply looking straight-faced at her.

"Yeah well, apologies for the inconvenience, but I guess I've got a few things on my mind. Or a few bones to pick with you. You've got some explaining to do Orli, starting with explaining why I've got a nearly 2-year-old little girl crying out for her Ima, something that I can't give her right now. And why you didn't tell Ziva's aunt Nettie that you knew that she and Tali were in danger. And finally, there's the small matter of this." He threw the folded piece of paper onto Orli's coffee table. She stared up at him.

"And _this_ is…" Her eyes looking down, indicating to the piece of paper, before continuing to look at him.

"You. All of your lies. But hey, these are just the best bits from the last few days. I wouldn't be able to fit everything onto one side of A4." spat Tony angrily, trying hard to bite his tongue.

Orli paused and stared at him straight-faced. "Have you finished?"

That one stabbed Tony straight in the heart. He tried not to let it show, but all he could see was Ziva saying the same thing to him, 7 years ago. After a fight about Rivkin.

"Happy reading." With that, Tony walked into her kitchen to make himself his fifth cup of coffee that day.

* * *

After a few minutes, Orli joined him in the kitchen and took a seat on the opposite side of the counter, her hands clasped in front of her holding onto his note. They sat in silence for a few moments, extending the tension in room. Finally, she opened her mouth to begin her explanation, but Tony beat her to it.

"Don't." he spat. "Don't even begin to patronise me. I'm through with being lied to, especially by you all of people. Besides, I don't need anything from you now, I've got what I came here for."

Orli sat up straighter at that, eyebrows furrowing at Tony. He wanted to laugh at that and couldn't help the scoff that escaped his lips.

"Don't act dumb with me. You read my list. But if you really don't get it then go ahead, look back at it. I especially recommend numbers 1 through 8."

Orli placed the paper onto the counter and looked through the list again.

 _1\. They haven't found a body._

 _2\. We never saw a survivor being pulled from the house._

 _3\. Don't believe what you're told. Always double check._

 _4\. Where's the smell of smoke?_

 _5\. No bruises, cuts, burns._

 _6\. She would have known._

 _7\. Tali was so far from Ziva in the house._

 _8\. Kelev._

" _Number 11_ ", Tony extended on from the list, " _Trent Kort_ ". Orli looked up at him from the note, wondering what that man could possibly have to do with this. Tony knew he had her attention now, and continued.

"Something that Kort said, has been bothering me for a while. He said that he didn't know that Ziva would be there, in the farmhouse when he had it bombed; that she wasn't supposed to be there. Did Kort have different intel to us? Where did he think Ziva really was?"

"Anthony…"

"Everyone else had intel that said that Ziva was staying in Eli's farmhouse. NCIS, FBI, Interpol, the whole alphabet soup. So WHY would Kort believe differently?"

"Tony…"

"Because she wasn't staying there, was she? Ziva and Tali weren't there. Mossad has eyes and ears all over the world, you knew that it was Kort, not Jacob Scott who was after Ziva right from the start. You went to her and warned her. Maybe once upon a time, Ziva would have stayed there and stood her ground, but she would never put Tali at risk. So she turned to you. And you hid them. You knew where they really were and you had someone tip him off, didn't you?". Orli looked appalled and affronted by that.

"Excuse me?! If you think that I would put Ziva and Tali in danger then – "

"Then what? Huh!" Tony questioned, breathing heavily. Orli stared at him, her lips tightly pursed together.

"She was with you, wasn't she? They were staying here. Don't think I didn't notice the second I walked in here. I was a NCIS Special Agent; I'm trained to notice things. You've got baby food still sitting in your fridge. You've got a high chair over there in the corner. Your entire house is baby-proofed! You don't do that if your "friends" kid is here on the odd occasion. She was staying here, wasn't she? They both were! You DID know something was gonna happen, you and Ziva both knew for a while now! That's why all of their things in the go-bag are still intact. It's why Tali has no cuts or bruises. Why nothing smells of smoke. Because they were never in the fire!"

Tony stood quickly, but edged his way slowly towards where Orli was seated. She turned slightly to face him, staring up at him. He could look pretty intimidating when he wanted to. When it concerned _his_ family.

"You tell me now Orli now, right now, where is she? Where is Ziva?"

Orli continued to look at Tony, not backing down. Finally, she stood up, coming almost face-to-face with him.

"Take what you need of your family's from here, Tony. I think that you will find your remaining answers." With that, Orli walked past him and went upstairs towards her bedroom, leaving Tony alone once more...

* * *

 **A/N: Some food for thought: don't judge Orli too quickly just yet. Why did she have someone tip Kort off? (Your guess is as good as mine!) You guys are all GENUINELY AMAZING! Thank you for encouraging me to keep going with this, I just can't express what that means to me :)**


	6. Chapter 6: Making The Connections

**Hello! Thank you all so so much for reading this story. YOU ARE ALL SUPER! I feel more overwhelmed everyday by the amount and level of support from all of you guys. You are the ones who give me the confidence and motivation to write this story, so thank you :) I'm so sorry this is being posted much later than I wanted it to be, I struggled with this chapter and all the minor details a bit. I hope that things start make sense in this chapter. I debated for ages where Tali and Ziva would sleep in the guest room. I almost gave Tali the bed but then I realised that this wouldn't have any bed rails around it to prevent her from falling out. I just still feel weird having her sleep on a mattress on the floor…**

 **There are now 75 of you following this story! That's insane, thank you! 4susan41, 1994omi, Athenalarissa, Atlante41, Aubrey Etta, BlackWidowAndCapRule, Brightlight94, DetectiveInspectorSydney, Ebony10, EowynGoldberry, Fahrenhheit, Hales23, HarrylovesGinny09, HoldxOn, Iluvgleetwilightthg, James the vet, JdnHwke169, Kim69etv, Krazzy Kezz, Lgehris, Lipush, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, LyanaDavid, Mockingprettygirls, Mrs. Fitzgerald, Rach4, SJlove07, SUZITROUBLE, TZDDN, Tiva-Forever-08, TivaCallensi4ever, VivianaLockhart, ambermichele, angry penguin, anniemous27, arcadia1328, beckums8685, bobisbusy, bunnykoko, cindy Seidenberg, countrygal64, egal77, fireandice1986, gallieni, giggles11228, heathergsu02, hejo.12, hopalong123546, ittybittyalissa, jenny1221, jgibbs7, kfink77, kissedyouwithfire, klutzysunshine, krazymelmo5385, kurrumu, 82kt, libs1709, littlecook28, love is only a dream, malec4eva, minihannibal65, moviesmadewithlove , nattlouu, ncisgirl18, runner229, scarredlove, seriously56, sjg563517, sonckad, tammy henson, tazmania081005, tere55, tiffanynloud and writeinspiredraw.**

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 **Thank you Thank you Thank you! To everyone who reviewed, you super people. Like always, I hope that those with FF accounts got my replies ok: angry penguin, Ebony10, nattlouu, VivianaLockhart, EowynGoldberry, libs1709, aj344, HarrylovesGinny09 and TivaRulesInGreece. I love replying to you guys and getting your feedback. It feels like even more of a community :) Thank you to Chickie10016, Debbie, Stella and Sue, here are my replies to you guys:**

 **Chickie10016: Thank you for your lovely review! Welcome to the wonderful, weird-old world of fanfiction! Just run, run away while you can! Three of my school friends introduced me to fanfiction when I was 13 years old and I haven't looked back since so I'm really glad that you have found this little community here. Hehe I'm loving your Ricky Ricardo comments, oh yeah Tony could totally pull that off! That's how he would have said that :) Your comments about my writing really mean so so much to me. I'm super critical of myself and I'm constantly changing things in my writing and story so to hear that people enjoy your writing is a huge compliment. Thank you so much :)**

 **Debbie: Thank you for your review! Oooh I totally agree, they need to be together and be a family. I will say that you will have your answer about Ziva by Chapter 8. I think. Unless my brain decides that it wants to add something else. Hopefully Orli will make things clearer over the next two chapters :)**

 **Stella: Thank you for your amazing comments! Haha oh no I'm fuelling the addiction! I've got a few fanfics that I'm like that with so I'm honoured that this story is one for you :) Wow! I'm chocked that you feel like I'm one of your best friends. I really feel that you and everyone here are like my best friends too. You guys are honest with me and I feel like I can be myself with you. Thank you, I'm honoured to be your friend :) Okay, you asked me "is tony gonna find Ziva in any chapter soon?". I will say that you will have your answer by Chapter 8. Hopefully. Unless my brain decides to add an extra chapter… TEAM "ZIVA IS NOT DEAD!"**

 **Sue Dooley: Thank you so much for reviewing! Hehe Tony:1, Orli:0! At least for now anyways. Orli needs to show her hand now. Yeah you didn't miss anything since Ziva left. I'm so glad that you can watch the re-runs. I used to watch an episode every night until that finale aired (in chronological order from Series 3 to 10. Yep. I'm that sad :D ). I can't watch an old ep anymore without wanting to cry but I'd love to be able to watch the old eps again one day. Just can't face them yet :) Tiva forever**

* * *

 **Tuesday 24** **th** **May 2016 Orli's House, Tel Aviv, Israel 2am (just after)**

Tony began his search in the guest room. He spotted the small inflatable mattress next to the bed straight away, clearly where Tali had been sleeping. Tony slowly walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress, staring towards the top of the bed. He couldn't resist picking up the top pillow and pressing his nose against it, needing to feel Ziva's presence…

Oh yeah, she was definitely staying here. _Oh Ziva_.

Tony forced himself to take a deep breath and put the pillow back down. _There's work to be done._ While he had been on the other side of the room, he had noticed something hidden underneath the bed. So he stood up, turned to face the bed and crouched down onto the floor (his knees were not going to forgive him any time soon!). After stretching his right hand under the bed, he grabbed onto the item and pulled with all his might to reveal it from its hidden chamber.

Pulling the item into the lit part of the room, Tony discovered that he held a suitcase in his hands. Luckily, it wasn't padlocked so he quickly worked it open. Once he set his eyes upon the possessions, Tony sighed a little. Inside lay clothes both for Ziva and Tali, some emergency cash, photo albums of her time at NCIS with the team. Small little pieces like an autographed copy of Deep Six also sat within the case. But it was a cloth bag that caught Tony's attention. Carefully picking this up and placing it onto the floor, he opened the bag and pulled out a small lock-box concealed from within. Tony looked puzzled at the box for a moment, rattling it slightly and attempting to open it. But it needed a code to get in. _Great, how I am supposed to guess that? Her birthday? Way too obvious. Tali's Birthday? I don't even know when that is!_

Tony threw the cloth bag to one side, but it made a soft thump against the floor. _Huh?_ He looked over to his left to stare at the recently discarded bag quizzically. _Did I just imagine that?_ Reaching for the bag, he pulled something else hidden from within. Another photo frame that had been underneath the lock-box, this time showing a picture of him and Ziva inside the hotel lobby from Berlin. Tony took this in his hands and sighed, rubbing his thumbs softly over the brown wooden frame. Ziva had her arms folded and was rolling her eyes at him, but held a slight grin on her face. He was smirking madly, waving his arms madly around in the air. Even back then, while they were chasing down Bodnar, Tony could always be counted on to make Ziva smile. Both of them looked a little rugged from the long flight, but somehow Ziva still managed to look stunning in his eyes with her long hair flowing freely. _I can't even remember what was so funny now…_

Hold on, why was _this_ photo _with_ the lock-box? All of the other photos that Ziva took with her were in photo albums. What did that mean? This photo was a code? A code? Numbers? A number from Berlin? From our hotel?

"The room number?"

Tony reached for the box and quickly tapped in the numbers, 1. 9. 6. 2. _Ding._ Of course. That's what was so funny! They had just checked into the hotel when he'd seen the number of the room that they would be staying in. Room 1962. A reference to the year of the first Bond film. Of course he would remember that! He had rambled on and on about it while Ziva had found it sad but highly amusing. _Oh Ziva._ Tony opened the box.

"Oh my God!" he gasped quietly. Inside lay missing puzzle pieces and little treasures that Tony had been desperate for. Tali's birth certificate (Wednesday 18th June 2014), with her name printed as Talia Elizabeth DiNozzo. Tony chocked on a sob out-loud – Ziva had given Tali _his_ last name and his mother's name as her middle name. _Maybe she really did love me…_

There were pictures of Tali, from her birth up until more recent photos, pictures of Ziva while she was pregnant, sonogram photos, little trinkets. Now he held silent tears running down his face but he didn't bother to brush them away. He came across a copy of Ziva's will and he just couldn't bring himself to look at it yet. That would be too final. Yet, there was something that did surprise him in that box. It was Ziva's 'I Will' list from 3 years ago.

"Huh?!"

The last time he'd seen this, Ziva had buried it in a box in the orchard. He hadn't even checked the other day at the orchard for this list. _She must have dug it up._

Tony had seen Ziva's new list and the contents had been ingrained into his brain since that day, even inspiring some of the things on his own I Will list. Reading through her list again now however, he did spot that the last two items were new additions:

I will give up the badge.

I will stop this for him.

I will keep people safe from me.

I will make amends with everyone that I need to.

I will work hard every day to be a better me.

I will always remember America and everything that my family there taught me.

 _I will tell Tony about Tali and protect them at_ _any_ _cost._

 _We will always have Paris._

 _Paris…. Paris…It couldn't be…?_

Tony stood sharply and ran back into the kitchen clutching her list in his grasp and sat where Orli had left his own list. He set the 2 pieces of paper next to each other and took his pen from his top left pocket. _It's time to start answering the questions and cross these off my list_ :

 _1\. They haven't found a body._ Ziva wasn't in the building so there was no body to find.

 _2\. We never saw a survivor being pulled from the house._ There was no survivor – Tali wasn't there.

 _3\. Don't believe what you're told. Always double check._ Checked out ideas in Israel and with Orli.

 _4\. Where's the smell of smoke?_ The go-bag wasn't in the fire.

 _5\. No bruises, cuts, burns._ Tali was safe at Orli's house.

 _6\. She would have known._ Confirmed.  My ninja did know.

 _7\. Tali was so far from Ziva in the house._

 _8\. Kelev._ Was with Tali at Orli's house.

 _9\. Ziva's scarf._

 _10. Paris. _

_11\. Trent Kort._ Orli had someone tip him off that Ziva and Tali were not in the farmhouse.

Tony began to speak to himself out-loud, needing to sort through his thoughts. "Okay, so they were staying here with Orli, that answers most of the questions. And Kort knew that they weren't supposed to be staying in the farmhouse thanks to Orli. But why did Ziva include the scarf in the go-bag? Why the photo of Paris? Why add that to her I Will list? And why did Orli tip Kort off?" Tony put his head into his hands, massaging his temples. He could feel a headache coming on.

"Perhaps I can help you there, Anthony." Tony jumped slightly at Orli's intrusion and looked up to face her. "I trust that you found what you were looking for?"

Tony blinked. "Yeah… mostly."

Orli walked over to the chair on the opposite side of the kitchen counter and dragged this over so it was next to where Tony was seated. She sat onto the oval stool, placing her hands into her lap. Orli looked up to face him.

"Yes Tony, you are correct. Ziva and Tali were not in the farmhouse when the attack happened. You have now seen that they were staying here." she took a quick glance at both of the lists, pleased to see that he had found Ziva's list. "I see that you still have some things to find out." Tony simply nodded, wanting her to continue.

"Ziva chose exactly what she would put into that bag. She thought very carefully about everything. Her scarf and the photograph of the two of you in Paris both had multiple reasons for being included – reasons for Tali and reasons for you."

"Reasons for me… like clues?" Orli crossed her left leg over her right, still seated on the stool.

"Let us start with her scarf. When Tali was a baby, that scarf was her favourite thing. She used to try to roll herself up in it and fall asleep. It reminds her of her Ima, so Ziva wanted her to take comfort from it." Orli paused for a moment. "Why do you think Ziva put this in the bag for you?"

Tony looked down and to the left, thinking back to the conversation that he had with his father. That felt like years ago to him now. "The last time I saw Ziva wearing that scarf, it was 3 years ago when she left NCIS. She had just been attacked at the safe house and you found out that she sought medical attention. She went underground after that."

" _Exactly_." Orli emphasised. Tony's mouth opened slightly at that. _So Ziva_ _is_ _underground. Tick._

"And the Paris photo?"

"Tali's favourite picture. Every night, she would ask her Ima if she could look at it. She would point to you and ask for a story. Ziva wanted Tali to know her father, she wanted you in Tali's life." Orli paused there, seeing the hurt look cross Tony's face. "What does Paris mean to you?" Tony smiled at this, he had lots of memories about Ziva and Paris.

"Everything. It's _our_ place. It was always special to Ziva and it became special to me too." He looked down at his lap, rubbing his hands together.

Orli smiled at this. "You asked me why I had someone inform Kort about Ziva not being in the farmhouse." Tony glanced back up at her.

"Kort wanted the files to be gone. He also knew that Ziva knew far too much, so it would be helpful to him if she was gone too. But he did not want to harm a child. The only small mercy that we can thank that horrible man for. We knew that Kort would wait for days, weeks until he could get to Ziva when Tali was not there. Kort had wanted to kill Ziva in the bombing, but Tali was always with her so he wanted to wait until they were apart. Except they were always together. When Ziva and Tali moved in with me, it forced Kort to panic and let him know that people were onto him. He had to re-think his plan and act sooner. So he planned to have his people bomb the farmhouse and then go to collect or deal with Ziva while I was at Mossad."

She paused and then started to fiddle with the necklace she was wearing. Tony stood up, before he started to pace around the kitchen. He needed a few minutes to make sense of this.

"Ziva and I both agreed that telling Kort where she was staying and then letting him believe that she was dead would be the best thing to do. She knew that Kort would be relentless in his search for her but she did not want to spend weeks and months being chased by him. Not with Tali. We knew that if we tipped him off, then he would act out his plan sooner. Ziva could disappear as no one would be looking for a dead person. Kort would move on. And it worked."

Tony continued to pace the length of the kitchen for a few minutes. Finally, he paused in front of the fridge and faced Orli.

"Anthony, you have all the answers that you could get from here. There is nothing else that I can give to you."

Tony thought for a second.

"Maybe. But there's still one more thing that needs to be done."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you all for reading! I really hope that this makes sense. I had a bit of a fight with this chapter. Next up will be a conversation between Orli, Tony and Nettie. Orli has more 'splaining to do. But she is one of the good guys here ;) She was always going to be good in this story! I was going to include the next conversation within this chapter but once I started writing it, it just grew and grew (it's now a 2-page word document and it's not finished yet!). That made me realise that their conversation deserved to be a chapter of its own. Please let me know if there is anything that you would like to see happen in this fanfic. We're getting close to the end of part 1…!**


	7. Chapter 7: Orli's Difficult Confession

**Hello! Okay I'm going to apologise. I was going to put this in the same chapter as the last one, but once I started writing this conversation, it just took a life of its own and became its own chapter. This is quite a quiet, transitional chapter which will lead up to Chapter 8: the last chapter of Part 1 in this story. Again I'm sorry for the late update, it's just been a bit of a hard month for my family. Guys, all of your support and love is getting me through some real rubbish right now so thank you all so so much, I'm so grateful to have you all in my life I just can't even begin to describe to you how much :)**

 **I want to dedicate this chapter to my great-grandad, who sadly passed away on 6/5/16 and to my great-nan who sadly passed away on 31/5/16. Their beautiful love and marriage lasted over 60 years. This was a truly special partnership and I am sure that they have been reunited once again now. Thank you both for all of your love, support and wisdom, I love you both so very much xxxxx**

 **Thank you to all of you who are following: 4susan41, 19Jessica98 , 82kt, 1994omi, Athenalarissa, Atlante41, Aubrey Etta, BlackWidowAndCapRule, Brightlight94, DetectiveInspectorSydney, Ebony10, EowynGoldberry, Fahrenhheit, Gehrl, HK Target Shooter, Hales23, HarrylovesGinny09, HoldxOn, Iluvgleetwilightthg, James the vet, JdnHwke169, Josette1807, Kim69etv, Krazzy Kezz, Lipush, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, LyanaDavid, MaileS, Mockingprettygirls, Mrs. Fitzgerald, Pheonix1995, Rach4, SJlove07, SUZITROUBLE, TZDDN, Tiva-Forever-08, TivaCallensi4ever, VivianaLockhart, ambermichele, angry penguin, anniemous27, arcadia132, bartiks97, beckums8685, bobisbusy, bunnykoko, cindy Seidenberg, countrygal64, egal77, fireandice1986, gallieni, giggles11228, heathergsu02, hejo.12, hopalong123546, ittybittyalissa, jenny1221, jgibbs7, ke31288, kfink77, kissedyouwithfire, klutzysunshine, krazymelmo5385, kurrumu, libs1709, littlecook28, love is only a dream, malec4eva, mama's-broken-heart, minihannibal65, moviesmadewithlove, nattlouu, ncisgirl18, runner229, scarredlove, seriously56, sjg563517, sonckad, tammy henson, tazmania081005, tere55, tiffanynloud and writeinspiredraw.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has favourited:** **Anniefynn, BlackWidowAndCapRule, Cosmos89, DetectiveInspectorSydney, Ebony Ater, Gehrl, HarrylovesGinny09, James the vet, Kim69etv, Krazzy Kezz, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, Mlb080915, Mockingprettygirls, RAD092515, ambermichele, booklover321, cindy Seidenberg, emeraldcello, fireandice1986, gallieni, hlaughlin93, hopalong123546, jgibbs7, kurrumu, libs1709, love is only a dream, melitami, minihannibal65, missy841, ncisandsvuaddict, seriously56, srshibaharah, tammy henson, tazmania081005, tiffanynloud, writeinspiredraw and zivadavid03.**

 **Thank you to moonclarinet for adding this story to your community: 'Favorite stories that I like'! I'm truly honoured and humbled by that, thank you :)**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Like always, I hope that those with FF accounts got my replies ok:. I love replying to you guys and getting your feedback. It feels like even more of a community :) Thank you to Debbie, Stella and Sue, here are my replies to you guys:**

 **Debbie: Thank you for your review! Oh yeah there was a lot of information there to process. I'm glad that the I Will list makes more sense now, I really wanted to include it just not in the orchard scene. Thank you, I hope that you enjoy this chapter :)**

 **Sue: Thank you for your review! Yay Tony finally got some answers. Thank you, I knew right from the start that I wanted Orli to be on Ziva's side. Thank you for reading this story! Tiva forever. You're so right, Cote brought chemistry to the show and her and Michael together = something magical and special. Same, I completely support her choice to leave, she made the right choice. I absolutely love The Dovekeepers and The 33 and I can't wait for Prototype! :)**

 **Stella: Thank you for your review! Haha thank you, I think that my brain should listen to you more often, can you tell it to stop getting writer's block too, please?! Thank you for your lovely comments about my writing, it truly means a lot to me. You are totally right, it's been so lovely to be in this positive environment where you can share a common love with people who like the same things and spend time with amazing people from all around the world, this is truly special and unique. Wow, thank you for your beautiful comments (I so did not cry a little bit there). I'm more than honoured to be your friend. Stella, you are definitely an amazing friend and a beautiful person inside and out. I hope that you know how much I appreciate that. "TEAM ZIVA IS NOT DEAD" :)**

* * *

 **Tuesday 24** **th** **May 2016 Nettie's House, Tel Aviv, Israel 7am**

"I believe that I owe you an explanation. Both of you."

The room felt divided, the atmosphere a little tense. Orli sat on the edge of the couch, hands placed out in front of her. Nettie sat away from her in one of the armchairs looking less than impressed. Close to her on the floor of the living room sat Tony who was being entertained by little Tali. She lay stretched out on her front, holding Kelev and Shimpânza out in front of her, acting out a conversation between the two in her own babbled language.

"Ziva and I had become much closer over these last few years." Orli began. "We repaired many wounds. Both of us agreed that we had been through too much and lost too much to continue to argue. Over time, we became friends and I still treasure this friendship with her to this day. I know that she would say the same. I have no other family left and Ziva was starting her life again. We understood each other."

"How did she get back in contact with you?" Tony asked while tying Tali's little mess of curls up so that they would be out of her face. This wasn't helped by the fact that Tali kept wriggling, not keen to have her hair put up, much to Nettie and Orli's amusement.

"After Ziva chose to stay in the farmhouse, she tried to isolate herself from her old life. And she did, for the first few weeks. I became worried about her after she had asked you to go back to America. She shut herself off from the world and I knew that her self-loathing at that time made her a possible danger to herself. I did not know what she might do. So I watched her: if she left the farmhouse, who came to see her, if she tried to use a computer or phone. From this, I knew that you (she indicated to Nettie) and Ziva spoke on the phone every Friday at 2pm. But then at the start of December, I saw that Ziva went to a doctor's office and she later missed her phone call to you. I also saw that you came to visit her that evening and that you then stayed the night."

"I was worried that she may have done something silly so I went back to the farmhouse the next day and confronted her about her appointment. You had gone back to your house to get some supplies as Ziva explained to me that you would be moving in with her for a while. That was when she told me that she was pregnant and that you were the father, Tony. She was terrified about being a mother; she did not think that she deserved to be. But she knew that she wanted this baby and she never gave that a second thought. In a way, being pregnant and having Tali gave Ziva some of her light back, some of her spark." Although Nettie was not overly keen on the woman, she nodded her head in agreement to what Orli had said. Tali had Ziva a purpose, a new lease of life.

"After Tali's birth, I would check in on her and Ziva every week. It was quite a normal routine: they would sing, play, laugh together. Ziva was a natural mother. But a few weeks ago, Ziva passed on some concerns to me. She was beginning to feel like she was being watched, being followed. In the market place, in the streets… she was worried about Tali but she was not sure if she was being paranoid or if someone really was following her. I told her that I would look into this for them."

"What did you find?" Tony questioned, ruffling his daughter's hair slightly. She stared up at him, her little eyes full of wonder and she giggled slightly before turning her attention back to her animal friends. Orli smiled at this sight, nodding slightly to answer Tony.

"Mossad were able to identify two men who had been watching Ziva. Mercenaries. Guns for hire."

Tony sighed, shaking his head slightly in disbelief. _God Ziva, why is it that you are always followed by mercenaries? This is like 3 years ago all over again._ "So why didn't they finish the job then? If they wanted Ziva dead, why did they wait?"

"Because their first mission was to spy and report back only. There were there at first to gain information. Watch Ziva, see what she did, who she contacted, if and when she left the farmhouse. Once they had what they needed, they could finish the job. These types of people do not like to wait around, but they were offered to chance to get to Eli David's only living child. And a big pay-out. They were keen to be a part of that."

Nettie looked appalled and stood quickly, walking over to stare out of her front window. _How do you always find yourself in trouble, Zivaleh? Why did you not tell me?_ Tony could only shake his head slightly. While he was still angry with Ziva, he wanted her to finally deal with her old life and have a new start. A better life. But it seemed that it didn't matter where she went, her past would always catch up to her.

"Who hired them?" Nettie piped up.

"Initially, we assumed that it was Jacob Scott. We had received the message from your people in America that he was a person of interest who was targeting former and current agents around the world from different agencies. We knew that this made Ziva a target, but it made thousands of people targets. She had no connection to him, so we thought that he would leave her alone. But after she began to be followed, we could not think of nor find anyone else that it could have been. It did not make sense to us why he would want Ziva, but there was no one else. Until we discovered that the mercenaries had ties to Trent Kort."

"I bet Ziva didn't take that well, that blast from the past." Tony commented, placing Tali onto his lap know. She squealed and began to squirm slightly, trying to find a comfortable position to sit. Tali quickly continued to play with animals.

"Ziva panicked to start with. She never wanted Tali to be involved in that world. She only wanted to protect her daughter. I told her to pack a few things together and stay with me until the threat had passed. She thought about bringing Tali to America and to you, Tony, but she did not want to leave the country at this point. It would risk Tali, it would make them both open targets and Ziva was adamant that she would not allow her daughter go underground. They were quite comfortable here. But when the farmhouse was attacked, Ziva and I both realised something." Orli paused for a moment and looked around the room for a moment, as if she was searching for the right words.

"We had both seen first-hand that if it was announced that she was still alive, then Kort would continue to look for her. While the files had been destroyed, he was aware that Ziva knew too much and that she had to be dealt with as well. Bodnar had gone after Ziva, Parsa was persistent with his search and we knew Kort would be even more so. Ziva did not want to go underground: she was done with that life, but she did not want to spend any more time looking over her shoulder, worrying about when Kort would find her. So we agreed to let everyone believe that she had died in the fire. It was almost perfect. Kort would have Ziva out of the way and Ziva would be able to protect Tali."

"Why did she not take Tali with her? She and Tali have never been a day apart, their bond is so special." Nettie questioned.

"Ziva realised that it was too dangerous for Tali to stay with her. There were people looking for her who would not hesitate to hurt or kill her and they would not worry about hurting a child. Ziva did not want Tali to be caught in the crosshairs, she wanted her safe and out of harm's way. And she felt that the only person that she would trust with Tali is you, Tony. She did not want you to have to meet your daughter this way, but she knew that you would be an amazing father." At this point, Tali had grown tired and had dropped her animal toys to the ground. She turned around to face Tony and curled up in his arms, placing her little head onto his shoulder, using it as a pillow. Tony wrapped his arms around her and began to run his right arm up and down her back, comforting her. Her little eyes slowly drooped shut.

"Why didn't you tell us that it was Kort, not Jacob?" he questioned.

"We did not know if there were any moles who would inform Kort that we knew that it was him. If we informed you and other agencies, then Kort would have most likely found out, or he would have gone underground."

"Why did you let us think that she was dead? Why didn't you tell us sooner? Why did Ziva let us believe that she was dead?" Tony could feel himself getting angrier, but tried to keep himself calm as he had Tali with him. He didn't want to scare her or wake her up.

"Believe me, Ziva did not want to hurt anyone by letting them believe that she was dead. But she had to do what was best for Tali. She knew that there were to be consequences for her actions, but Ziva will always put Tali before anything else. Your reactions to her death needed to be genuine. They were able to convince Kort that Ziva really was dead and so he did not go underground. It meant that your team could take care of him once and for all."

"Did Ziva know about this?" Nettie questioned.

"She knew that you would all be informed of her death, however she believed that the two of you at least would be told that this was false. Ziva did not want either of you or Shmeil to think that she was dead. I am sorry, but your actions and reactions needed to be genuine. That is why I did not inform you until now."

Tony managed to work his way to stand up and he carried Tali through into the spare room, putting her down for a nap. He was not going to shout at Orli while his baby girl was there. Nettie looked in anger towards the other woman and opened her mouth to say something when Tony came back into the room. He looked fuming.

Orli tried to apologise. "I am so sorry to both of you, for putting you both through this. I can only imagine what that must have felt like – "

"How that felt? HOW THAT FELT! HOW DO YOU THINK IT FELT, TO BE TOLD THAT THE WOMAN THAT YOU LOVE IS DEAD! THAT SHE'S NEVER COMING BACK! TO KNOW THAT YOU CAN NEVER TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER! KNOW THAT YOU CAN NEVER SEE FROM HER, HEAR FROM HER EVER AGAIN! NO! Tony fell back onto the sofa, sobbing into his hands.

Nettie quickly sat beside him, rubbing her hand over his back as he had done for Tali a few moments ago. She glared at Orli now. _You've hurt my family now._ "Why are you telling us all of this now?" she asked. "This is not exactly how Mossad normally operates. Or _you_ for that matter, Orli?"

"I was always going to tell you both the truth, but it needed to be the right moment. I wanted to wait until Kort had been dealt with and Tony and Tali had settled a little bit. When I found out that you were coming to Israel, Tony, I knew that you would soon come to see me. So I chose to wait until then. I do not want to keep your family apart any longer."

Tony had managed to calm himself down mostly now. He straightened back up and took hold of Nettie's right hand within his left hand and squeezed, as if to say thank you to her. Nettie smiled at him and squeezed his hand back.

Tony looked up at Orli, not bothering to wipe away the tears. "So… Paris. That's a pretty big city. Got any more cryptic clues for us?"

Orli looked down at her hands and sighed. "Tony, I do not know exactly _where_ Ziva is. Really I do not. She did not tell me where she was going. It was safer that way. Ziva knew that if you did try to find her, then she did not want you to spend months chasing after her as you had done before. She said that if you wanted to find her, then she would go to the obvious escape place for you both. But she understood if you did not."

"I need to find her. We have a lot of things to talk about, deal with and figure out. She has a lot to explain to me. But most importantly, our daughter deserves to grow up with her Ima. I know what it's like to not have a mum in your life."

Tony paused, taking a moment to process everything. He placed his chin into his hands, thinking. He'd got the answers to his list of doubts. He'd found Ziva's suitcase full of knowledge and beauty. He knew what needed to be done; where to go next.

"Tali and I have everything that we came here to Israel for. We've found our answers. It's time for us to go to Paris."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I'm sorry if by now Paris seems a little cliché, but Ziva being anywhere else in the world made no logical sense to me. I thought a lot about her being somewhere else but my heart just screamed Paris. Ziva and Tony shared something special there. It means something to her, it's her safe place. I have finally worked out where in Paris to go (and it only took me a week to figure that out. Yeah…)! Where do you think we will end up in Paris? I would love to hear your ideas and see if anyone can guess or get close :)**


	8. Chapter 8: Return To Paris

**Hello! So, this is it everyone. It's the end of Part 1 of 'And Then One Night I Had A Dream'. I actually can't believe it. Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, favourited, followed, supported so far and for coming along on this journey. I hope that you have enjoyed the ride so far and stay tuned for Part 2! Thank you to everyone who had a guess at where in Paris we may end up, there were some very interesting ideas, let's see how close you got… I'm actually so nervous about what you will think about this. Again, I'm British and I haven't spoken French since I took it for my GCSE exams 5 years ago, so I sincerely apologise if I make any mistakes. Thank you so much to all of you who left beautiful messages on reviews and PM for my great-grandparents. I cannot even begin to express how much that means to me and my family. You guys are truly beautiful people and your lovely words are a huge comfort, thank you :) xx**

 **Huge shout-out to Lipush who checked over all of the Hebrew terms that have been used in this chapter. YOU ARE A SUPERSTAR THANK YOU! I hugely appreciate your help. The translations are at the bottom of the page :) Huge shout-out also to Chickie10016, your review gave me the idea for Scene 2 in this chapter, THANK YOU :)**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who is following this story: 4susan41, 19Jessica98, 82kt, 1994omi, Athenalarissa, Atlante41, Aubrey Etta, Biah Ara, BlackWidowAndCapRule, Brightlight94, DS2010, DetectiveInspectorSydney, Ebony10, EowynGoldberry, Fahrenhheit, Gehrl, HK Target Shooter, Hales23, HarrylovesGinny09, HoldxOn, Iluvgleetwilightthg, James the vet, JdnHwke169, Josette1807, KariNCIS, Kim69etv, Krazzy Kezz, Lipush, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, LyanaDavid, MaileS, Mockingprettygirls, Mrs. Fitzgerald, Pheonix1995, Rach4, SJlove07, SUZITROUBLE, TZDDN, Tiva-Forever-08, TivaCallensi4ever, True Blue Pretender, VivianaLockhart, ambermichele, angry penguin, anniemous27, arcadia1328, bartiks97, beckums8685, bobisbusy, bryz9394, bunnykoko, cindy Seidenberg, countrygal64, dreams and desperation, egal77, fireandice1986, gallieni,** **georginiuxa,** **giggles11228, heathergsu02, hejo.12, hopalong123546, ittybittyalissa, jenny1221, jgibbs7, kakus5, ke31288, kfink77, kissedyouwithfire, klutzysunshine, krazymelmo5385, kurrumu, libs1709, littlecook28, love is only a dream, malec4eva, mama's-broken-heart, minihannibal65, moviesmadewithlove, nattlouu, ncisgirl18, ncistiva8, pixie79, runner229, scarredlove, seriously56, sjg563517, sonckad, sydchilton, tammy henson, tazmania081005, tere55, tiffanynloud, tivawaigequintis and writeinspiredraw.**

 **Thank you to all of you who have favourited:** **Anniefynn, BlackWidowAndCapRule, Cosmos89, DetectiveInspectorSydney, Ebony Ater, Gehrl, HarrylovesGinny09, James the vet, Kim69etv, Krazzy Kezz, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, Mlb080915, Mockingprettygirls, RAD092515, StarKiss666, TivaILY, ambermichele, booklover321, cindy Seidenberg, emeraldcello, fireandice1986, gallieni,** **georginiuxa,** **hlaughlin93, hopalong123546, jgibbs7, kakus5, kurrumu, libs1709, love is only a dream, melitami, minihannibal65, missy841, nattlouu, ncisandsvuaddict, seriously56, srshibaharah, tammy henson, tazmania081005, tiffanynloud, tivawaigequintis, writeinspiredraw and zivadavid03.**

 **Thank you to moonclarinet for adding this story to your community: 'Favorite stories that I like'! I'm truly honoured and humbled by that, thank you :) Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Like always, I hope that those with FF accounts got my replies ok: I love replying to you guys and getting your feedback :) Thank you to Chickie10016, Debbie, both Guest reviewers, Stella and Sue Dooley, here are my replies to you guys:**

 **Chickie10016: Thank you so much for your review and your condolences, I hugely appreciate that :) Thank you for your lovely comments about my writing, I really hope that this story stays on track for you. Funny you should mention my chosen career, after 3 years training I will hopefully be a primary school (or elementary school) teacher from September. One reason why I wanted to start writing is because I've always found creative writing really hard. I don't want to pass on this fear to my pupils, I want to encourage them to enjoy writing. To do that, I need to get out of the negative headspace that I can't write creatively. I would love to do a whole-class writing project one day! I really loved your comments about you feeling that something was missing from the resolution. I totally agree with your comments and they made me think A LOT and have a major lightbulb moment. THANK YOU you've given me some major inspiration for the rest of the story and I hope that Scene 2 in this chapter can get the ball rolling for you, I hope that this is alright with you. Thank you :)**

 **Debbie: Thank you so much for your review and your condolences, I hugely appreciate that :) I have so many amazing memories of them like you say that I will always carry forward with me. Thank you, yeah I think that Orli owed it to Tony and Nettie to explain the truth. Hehe, I love Tony! Yeah, it had to be Paris. Thank you :)**

 **Guest: Thank you so much for your review! Yes that's a great point, I think that Ziva would have felt similar to how Tony does now after his car blew up in Series 5. Oooh I really like your idea about maybe having a babysitter in the house who died in Ziva's place. I would love to see a fanfiction written about this, that would be very cool! Thank you :)**

 **Guest: Thank you so much for your review! Haha, don't worry, this chapter will hopefully answer your concern, I hope that you are ok with where they do end up and that it's a little different to the other FFs out there. Thank you :)**

 **Stella: Thank you so much for your review and your condolences, I hugely appreciate that :) Thank you for BOTH of your reviews, I can't tell you how much your words meant to me. Thank you, my friend. I'm really grateful to count you in my life. My family are very close-knit and its strange to be missing 2 beautiful pieces, but we have so many amazing memories that we can remember. Thank you for your gorgeous words, I really want to make them proud (I sound like Ziva now). Haha, I will remember for future reference that you don't like cliff-hangers ;) Thank you I'd love to write more stories after this one and I would be honoured to count you as a reader of those too, "TEAM ZIVA IS NOT DEAD" :)**

 **Sue Dooley: Thank you for your super review! Oh yes Tiva always and forever. Thank you I hope that Orli is coming across well, and is still a bit of an enigma. Thank you for sharing your ideas about where you think we will go to in Paris and thank you for reviewing! :)**

* * *

 **Wednesday 25** **th** **May 2016, Nettie's House, Tel Aviv, Israel 5am**

"Now, have you got your passports?"

"Check!"

"And your boarding passes?"

"Right here."

"Are you sure that you have got everything that I wrote on that packing list for you?"

"Yes, Miss Nettie. Everything's been crossed off the list. Twice." Tony cheekily remarked.

Nettie rolled her eyes at him and put her hands on her hips, sighing. She reminded him a lot of Ziva when she gave him _that_ look. "You will not be saying that _when_ you remember that you have forgotten something!" She joked.

Tony gasped in mock-shock, placing his right hand over his heart. " _When!_ Now I'm deeply offended by that!" Nettie laughed for a few seconds, then stopped, putting her straight-face on for a moment. She took hold of his hands in her.

"Anthony, please take care of yourselves. If you need anything, and I do mean anything, I am only a phone call and a plane ride away, alright. Any time of the day or night, neshama."

Tony smiled sadly, but nodded anyway. "Nettie… I just want to say, thank you. You've helped Tali and I so much, let us stay here in your home, you've been there for both of us. I am just so grateful to you."

"No, my dear. I am the one who should be thanking _you_ , Anthony. Without the two of you being here, motek, I do not know what I would have done. News of Ziva's death… well you know all too well how I must have reacted to that. Probably just as badly as you had done. Had you not have come here, I may never have known all of the things that you have uncovered over these past few days. I doubt that I will ever be able to repay you for that. Ziva and Tali are the only blood family that I have left, but you are also family Anthony. Never forget that there will always be a place here for you."

With that she embraced him into the fiercest hug that could easily rival an Abby-hug and the two clung to each other with all they had, tears beginning to spring into both of their eyes. "Ziva loves you very much. It was always clear to me; I could see what she felt for a long time before she finally confided in me. But it is also clear to me how much you love Ziva and how much you love Tali. You, Anthony DiNozzo, are a very selfless man who is a natural father. Ata lo levad."

As if on cue, Tali chose this moment to come racing out of the guest bedroom, swinging Kelev and Shimpânza around and trying to make them both fly across the room. Tony and Nettie broke apart, faces now covered in tears, in order to see their little companion bouncing about the room, laughing gently at her wild antics.

"We really appreciate that Nettie and everything you've done for us. Toda." He turned to look at his daughter. "Tali, Bo'i He'na bevakasha." He called as he crouched down onto the floor. Tali dropped her stuffed animals onto the floor for now and came bounding over to him, leaping into her Abba's arms.

Tony groaned slightly and stood up fully again. _Urgh, I'm getting a bit too old for this!_ "Alright, my little mini-ninja, what do we say to Nettie, Tali?"

She giggled a bit before turning to face her great-aunt. "Toda, Nettie. Shalom!" She opened her arms wide and Nettie embraced her great-niece into a huge hug. "Shalom, neshama. Ani ohevet otach kol kach." Once they had let go, Tali turned to snuggle herself into her father's side and rested her head on his shoulder, sending some of her wild curls into his face.

"Shalom, Nettie."

Nettie laughed lightly and shook her head a little. "I have never liked goodbyes. So let us say shalom for now, as a hello to new beginnings for our family, our mishpacha."

Tony smiled a wide grin. "To family, and to new beginnings."

* * *

 **Wednesday 25** **th** **May 2016, Air France 1321 aeroplane (8:05am flight), 10am (Tel Aviv time)**

Flying in an aeroplane with Tali was a very interesting experience. Well, she is a DiNozzo-David after all! Even though she had been on 3 flights now in the past week alone including this one, she had been completely fascinated by the take-off of the plane and the feeling of them ascending into the sky. While other passengers gripped onto their seats for dear life, Tali was like a kid in a candy store and had spent 5 whole minutes giggling and looking at her Abba in delight much to Tony's joy. Once it was safe to remove their seatbelts, Tali had spent a full 20 minutes staring out of the window and pointing to all the different clouds in the sky, excitedly naming all of them.

As it had been a very early start to the day, Tali soon fell asleep about halfway into the flight, not even making past the opening title sequence of Finding Dory. _Hmm, I remember another little ninja who also did that on several occasions when we had our movie nights. Well, even ninjas and mini-ninjas get tired. That reminds me, what am I going to do with my own fish? I can't tell Tali that I have a fish named after her Ima!_

Tali was softly clutching onto Ziva's scarf with her tiny fingers, which she was currently using as a sort-of blanket. After another night of tears and nightmares, with her startling awake and crying out for her mother, this was the only thing that would comfort his daughter in her dreams right now. Being wrapped up in her Ima's presence. Tony wanted to both smile and cry at this at the same time.

The more that Tony looked at his daughter, the more he saw Ziva sitting there. The two of them had an uncanny resemblance, there was no doubt about it. Watching her take gently breaths in and out and curl further into the seat of the plane, Tony flashed back to all the moments that he and Ziva had flown around the world together. Paris. Berlin. _Somalia._

Something still wasn't right thought. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but there was something still bugging him. Tony couldn't help but think about what Orli had said to him before she left Nettie's house the day before…

" _Orli." Tony had approached her just as she made to open the front door. Orli turned back around to face him._

" _There's still one thing I don't quite understand. If Kort's gone, then the threat is neutralised, right? She's not in danger anymore. So why is Ziva still underground? If she was still alive, wouldn't she… you know… resurface and come back to Tali?"_

" _Tony, I am afraid that I cannot answer that. I really wish that I could. I do not know what Ziva is doing right now or where she is. But, what I am quite sure of is that this fight may be far from over."_

" _What do you mean?"_

" _While Kort may thankfully be gone from this fight, we are still missing two of the key players, remember?" With that, she walked away to her car…_

* * *

 **Wednesday 25** **th** **May 2016, Charles de Gaulle Airport, Paris, France, 1:30pm (Paris time)**

Here they were at last. The Charles de Gaulle airport. The last time Tony was here, he was with Ziva about 6 years ago. On their Paris mission. A lot happened back then; they had talked long into the night, slept in the same bed, attempted to trick McGee and Abby into believing otherwise… a lot of really great memories! Getting through customs and baggage checks was very different this time around. And much easier. This time, he wasn't packing his NCIS gun and badge. All he had with him now was his super special daughter, their go-bag, Ziva's suitcase from Orli's house and Tali's stroller.

Once they had finally finished clearing through customs, Tali began fussing that she was hungry. They quickly found a small French restaurant within the airport and Tony doubled checked their desired destination while they ate. After which, the duo worked their way through the terminal towards the taxi station. Tony made quick work of loading everything into the taxi cab and rattled off the address to the driver.

During the journey, panic began to set in Tony's mind. _Oh God, what are we doing? I can't believe that we're actually here. In Paris. What am I thinking, am I actually going to find anything here? What if I'm wrong about this. I mean, it's thin, right? No, it's the only thing that makes sense. I hope._ He wasn't sure why, but now Tony was beginning to feel nervous. The seeds of doubt were multiplying now. He didn't know what to expect, he just wanted this all to be over. For Tali's sake especially. The young girl in question was currently seated on his lap, peering out of the window and babbling in amazement at all the gorgeous city. Tony stroked her gentle curls, willed himself to calm down and conversed with her, pointing at all of the things they could see on their journey.

 _Almost there…_

* * *

 **Wednesday 25** **th** **May 2016, Paris, France, 3:30pm (Paris time)**

The taxi cab gently pulled up in front of its requested destination. Only 200 metres away from the Notre Dame, this was a beautiful part of Paris.

Tony took a €20 note from his wallet and paid the taxi driver, telling him to keep the change (in his attempt at the French language). The older gentleman, smiled kindly and thanked him very much. The man had grown a real soft spot for his two passengers, admiring the beautiful relationship between father and daughter, and stepped out of his vehicle to help Tony unloaded all of their possessions from the cab, who was carrying Tali in his arms at the moment. The suitcase, the go-bag and the stroller were soon all waiting on the pavement for them.

"Monsieur" he began; Tony turned to face him. "I hope that you find what you are looking for. You two are a beautiful family. Treasure that every day, Sir." Tony's mouth opened a little and all that he could do was to say thank you to the kind man.

He unfolded the stroller with ease (now that he'd had a fair amount of practise) and with Tali being a little tired and jet-lagged, she easily agreed and seated herself down. Tony thanked the taxi driver once more and began to move towards his destination, pushing Tali in her stroller gently along in front of him. This reminded him a little of when he would carry all of their equipment from the truck to the crime scene. Or when he and Ziva would leave McGee to do that. Only now, he wasn't making his way towards a crime scene. Tony had something, or rather someone far more precious than finger-print scanners and evidence bags. He had Tali – his smart, brave, funny daughter and for now they were each other's' everything.

The pair soon reached the faded wooden doors to the entrance of an apartment building. There was a pass code required to enter. The keypad quickly caught Tali's attention and she "oohed" at it instantly, stretching out her right arm to try to reach the buttons. Tony chuckled slightly at the sight and gently ruffled her hair. _Somebody's awake now._ "You wanna press the buttons, huh Tali?" he pointed towards the keypad. Tali nodded confidently and tried to reach out again."

"Alright, squirt." Tony moved so that he was crouched down in front of her. "Shall we have a go together?" Tony slowly moved the stroller over slightly so that Tali would be able to reach easily. "You ready?" He pointed towards the number '2' and Tali copied his actions, with both of them pressing the button together. Tali jumped around in her seat and squealed. They both then pressed '5', '8', '4' and '*' to finish the pass code.

 _Ding!_ They were in.

She gasped out loud and turned to face him with her amazing wide eyes. "Tali, you did it, we did it!" he exclaimed. Tali chuckled a bit and pointed towards the wooden doors. Tony shook his head, smiling at her and then pushed those doors open and entered the building.

The old doors creaked open to reveal a long hallway with cobbled flooring. The small lamps hanging up around the room shone out a dim light which reflected onto the bare white walls. It was simple, but perfect.

Not wanting to drag a toddler and all of their luggage up a flight of stairs ( _although she is a mini-Ziva and a mini-ninja_ ), Tony worked his way towards the elevator with his little girl in the stroller. She was only too happy to press to button to call the elevator to them and gave a loud cheer when the doors opened to reveal the awaiting carriage. The duo boarded their chariot to their intended floor.

On the ride up, Tony thought back to how significant the elevator at NCIS was to him and the team. All those times he'd had a serious conversation, been head-slapped, almost died with Ziva in that elevator. But he wouldn't change any of that for the world. He remembered back to when the power went out all over the city, trapping McGee and Ziva in the elevator for 9 hours. To this day, he still had no idea what had happened in there. He flashed forward to after Mike Frank's death, when Ziva had fallen apart on him and they'd shared their pain with Abby and McGee. Then when they'd just arrived back from Somalia and Ziva looked petrified of being trapped in the small, enclosed space. All the important moments happened in the elevator. And the men's room…

 _Ding!_

Getting off the elevator on the 2nd floor of the building, Tony soon worked his way down the hallway with Tali and their luggage and counted down the door numbers, looking for the one.

15...16...17...18...

Room 19.

Reaching into the top left-hand pocket of his shirt, Tony pulled out a little white envelope. He tore through the paper and poured out its contents into his hand.

A key.

Picking up the tiny golden object with his fingers, Tony worked the key through the lock in the door and prayed that he had got this right.

 _Click._

This place was beautiful. The same cobbled flooring as was in the entrance walk-way but with an intricately-detailed carpet in the middle of the room. Wooden beams covered the ceiling. There was a gorgeous little fireplace. So many pictures and paintings hanging from every corner of the room. There was an antique table with two wooden chairs placed on either side of it. Much like the walk-way, everything in this room was simple but perfect.

Tony wheeled the suitcase and the stroller along and moved further into the apartment. He placed their luggage beside the long, white couch while the go-bag was thrown a bit haphazardly on top of this. Tali soon jumped out of the stroller, wanting to explore her new surroundings. She stared in wonder at the treasures in the room and couldn't decide what she wanted to explore floor. So after gazing at all she could, Tali looked up at her father and took his right hand in her left, pulling him along in the direction of an unexplored room.

Upon entering, Tony saw that this was the master bedroom. Tali by now had leapt onto the king-size bed and decided that she needed to test out the mattress. So she began jumping all over it.

Before Tony could slow her down, there was a rattling noise at the door. Someone was trying to get into the apartment. He jumped at the sound and shot round to face the bedroom door, towards the source of the noise. "Abba?" Tali questioned cautiously. She moved close to her Abba and gripped onto Tony's hand tightly.

The apartment door was worked opened and Tony could hear a low murmuring sound coming from the front room now. Someone was definitely here.

 _Wait a second…. was that…._ _humming_ _? Does that humming seem familiar to you? From the look on Tali's face, she seems to be agreeing with me here._

The intruder made their way through the apartment; it sounded like they were carrying something. Bags, maybe? Tony couldn't quite tell. But it was clear when the person had stopped moving, stopped humming. _They must have seen the suitcase._

"Hello?!" the person called out. _Yep. They knew._

Tali gasped and looked up at her Abba.

Tony walked into the front room, pausing by the door to the bedroom. The other person gasped loudly and dropped the bags that they were carrying onto the old, cobbled floor.

Both adults stood there, stock still, eyes wide.

Suddenly, Tali, who had been peering out from the bedroom door beside Tony, shot like a rocket towards the other person.

"IMA!"

 **End of Part 1**

* * *

 **A/N: So… ZIVA IS ALIVE! Oh yes! There was NO WAY that she was not going to be alive in this story. I love Ziva, Cote and all of you guys way too much to even ever think about doing that! I will apologise for leaving you with this cliff-hanger though :) Please let me know what you would like to see in Part 2, any conversations, places to visit, I really love to hear your ideas. Also, side note, have you seen the new CdP pic? OMG why is she so stunning? She just picks some pretty amazing campaigns to be part of. Proud to be a fan :)**

 **What did you think about Tiva meeting up in a Parisian apartment? If it seems a little weird, the explanation will be Part 2. So many FF's have done the hotel or the café and I wanted to do something a little less obvious and little bit different. I hope that you guys like this. Some food for thought: Why do you think Tony went there? How did he know about this place? Where did he get the key? Does the apartment have a significant meaning? I already know but I'm very interested to hear your ideas about this. This place does actually exist in Paris and after looking at a lot of Parisian apartments, this was the perfect one as soon as I saw it. Hopefully more details about this will be revealed next time. Thank you all so so much for reading and supporting this story, it truly means the world to me, see you in Part 2! :) xx**

 **neshama – darling (Nettie says this to Tony)**

 **motek – sweetie**

 **Ata lo levad – you are not alone (Nettie says this to Tony)**

 **Toda – thank you**

 **Bo'i He'na bevakasha – Come here please (Tony says this to Tali)**

 **Ani ohevet otach kol kach – I love you very much (Nettie says this to Tali)**

 **Mishpacha – family**


	9. Chapter 9: The Long-Awaited Reunion

**Hello everyone and welcome to Part 2 of ATONIHAD! Thank you to all of you for supporting this story so far and for welcoming me as part of the writing community of this crazy, amazing world of FF. It's all a bit surreal but totally super. I cannot thank you guys enough for giving me lots of courage, positivity and tips to improve. We have now reached 105 reviews, 50 favourites, 104 followers and over 10,500 views, all for just 8 chapters! That is just wow, insane, unbelievable ahh, so much love to you all. Like I said, Part 2 is mainly going to look at resolving issues between Tony and Ziva, looking towards the future like where to live and dealing with the threat against Ziva. I'm not going to put them in a relationship straight away as they've got way too much to sort through first. Also, there won't be much of angry Tony until chapter 9 as I just feel that in this moment he would be so overwhelmed by Ziva being alive that he would be over the moon. But they will deal with and address everything soon :)**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who is following this story: 1994omi, 19Jessica98, 4susan41, 82kt, ambermichele, angry penguin, anniemous27, arcadia1328, Athenalarissa, Atlante41, Aubrey Etta, bartiks97, beckums8685, Biah Ara, BlackWidowAndCapRule, BleachedAmerican, bobisbusy, Brightlight94, bryz9394, bunnykoko, CheriLane, cindy Seidenberg, countrygal64, csanders724, DetectiveInspectorSydney, dreams and desperation, DS2010, Ebony10, egal77, EowynGoldberry, Fahrenhheit, fireandice1986, gallieni, Gehrl, georginiuxa, giggles11228, Hales23, HarrylovesGinny09, heathergsu02, hejo.12, HK Target Shooter, HoldxOn, hopalong123546, Iluvgleetwilightthg, ittybittyalissa, James the vet, JdnHwke169, jenny1221, Jgibbs7, Josette1807, kakus5, KariNCIS, ke31288, kfink77, Kim69etv, kissedyouwithfire, klutzysunshine, krazymelmo5385, Krazzy Kezz, kurrumu, libs1709, Lipush, littlecook28, love is only a dream, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, LyanaDavid, MaileS, malec4eva, mama's-broken-heart, minihannibal65, Mockingprettygirls, Moviesmadewithlove, Mrs. Fitzgerald, nattlouu, ncisgirl18, ncisgirl2486, ncistiva8, NightKing56, Pheonix1995, pixie79, priscious, Rach4, runner229, scarredlove, seriously56, sjg563517, SJlove07, sonckad, SookieEricObsessed, SUZITROUBLE, sydchilton, tammy henson, tazmania081005, tere55, tiffanynloud, Tiva-Forever-08, TivaCallensi4ever, tivawaigequintis, Troyella-Tiva 4ever, True Blue Pretender, TZDDN, VivianaLockhart, Wiggle34 and writeinspiredraw.**

 **Thank you to all of you who have favourited:** **ambermichele, Anniefynn, BlackWidowAndCapRule, booklover321, ChrisVermouth, cindy Seidenberg, Cosmos89, DetectiveInspectorSydney, doggy bye, Ebony Ater, emeraldcello, fireandice1986, gallieni, Gehrl, georginiuxa, HarrylovesGinny09, hlaughlin93, hopalong123546, James the vet, jgibbs7, kakus5, Kim69etv, Krazzy Kezz, kurrumu, libs1709, love is only a dream, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, melitami, minihannibal65, missy841, Mlb080915, Mockingprettygirls, nattlouu, ncisandsvuaddict, NightKing56, priscious, RAD092515, seriously56, srshibaharah, StarKiss666, tammy henson, tazmania081005, .161, tiffanynloud, TivaILY, tivawaigequintis, Troyella-Tiva 4ever, Wiggle34, writeinspiredraw and zivadavid03.**

 ***Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Please see the end of this chapter for additional thanks and replies to guest comments (your comments were so lovely and detailed that I want to reply to them fully and I didn't want to have a huge opening A/N. I hope that it's ok with you guys that this will be at the end for today***

 **Dear Lipush, thank you so so much for checking this chapter and translating some Hebrew words and phrases for me, you are amazing and I'm truly grateful. Wishing you all the best :)**

 **Translations:**

 **Ani Ohevet Otach: I love you (female)**

 **Hit'gaa'gati elayich kol-kach- I missed you so much**

 **Ktana Sheli- my little one**

* * *

 _ **Previously on ATONIHAD…**_

 _The intruder made their way through the apartment; it sounded like they were carrying something. Bags, maybe? Tony couldn't quite tell. But it was clear when the person had stopped moving, stopped humming. They must have seen the suitcase._

" _Hello?!" the person called out. Yep. They knew._

 _Tali gasped and looked up at her Abba._

 _Tony walked into the front room, pausing by the door to the bedroom. The other person gasped loudly and dropped the bags that they were carrying onto the old, cobbled floor._

 _Both adults stood there, stock still, eyes wide._

 _Suddenly, Tali, who had been peering out from the bedroom door beside Tony, shot like a rocket towards the other person._

" _IMA!"_

* * *

 **Part 2**

 **Wednesday 25** **th** **May 2016 Parisian Apartment, France 4pm (Paris time)**

"IMA!"

Tali raced towards her mother, sprinting, darting across the room like a wild cheetah, with her small feet pounding noisily against the hard, cobbled flooring of the old-fashioned living room. The young girl had been the only one out of the three in the room who had reacted to this situation. The only person who had been _able_ to react. She had been away from her Ima; her best friend; her partner in crime; her protector for 8 days now. They had never, never ever been apart from each other before. They held this special bond, an unbreakable connection. Nothing was going to stop her from hugging her mother with all her might.

Tony and Ziva, however, had been frozen in time. Neither of them moved a muscle or even blinked, in the fear that if they did so, then the other would disappear into thin air. Their feet may as well have been super-glued to the apartment floor, just like how they used to super-glue McGee's hands to his keyboard once upon a time. But it had been a long time since they had done that. They could both feel their hearts hammering away like a marching band was beating against their chests, threatening to burst out of them at any second now. The world was almost spinning, almost fading to black. It was like being trapped in a dream and the situation just felt completely unreal.

Tony couldn't believe that she was here. If had been able to move, he would probably have rubbed his eyes a few times, or maybe a lot of times. _This can't be real, can it?_ She was really, truly, actually here. Not just _here_ as in inside this apartment; not just _here_ as in Paris. But alive. Alive. She was alive. Ziva's alive! While he was still livid with her for keeping their daughter hidden away from him, he now finally had pure, 100% confirmation and right at this very moment in time that was all that mattered. They definitely needed to talk; she had a lot of things to disclose and explain to him, but for now he felt like he could open up the old-fashioned, translucent windows and shout this out to the world that Ziva David is alive.

Ziva couldn't believe that he was there. In Paris. In the apartment. Standing there. Right in front of her. Staring at her from the bedroom door. God, she felt so torn right now, she didn't quite know how to feel or what to make of this situation. Her head was screaming at her: _How could he be here? You should not have come. You are in danger now, again, because of me._ She also knew that she had so much to answer for and she owed Tony a lot. He deserved to know everything, the whole truth. Not matter how much it hurt to acknowledge this, she did not want Tony to hang around for her. She had accepted that fact when she made him leave her on the tarmac in Tel Aviv almost 3 years ago. But the heart wants what it wants. Ziva's heart was crying out to be heard and was almost pulling her towards him, begging her not to waste anymore time. However, Ziva knew that this was most certainly not the right time for that. Or even if there would be a right time for that.

All of a sudden, she was jolted out of her shock-world by a significant force colliding heavily into her stationary body, causing her to gasp loudly and launch like a rocket high up into the air, then stumble backwards slightly, the backs of her legs coming into contact with the pristine white couch. Ziva, who had been staring at Tony in complete and utter shock, instantly moved her eyesight around the room to see her daughter clutching onto her right leg. This completely snapped her out of her zombie-like state. Ziva instantly brought both of her hands up to cover her mouth and began to visibly shake, tears rapidly flooding into her eyes and streaming down her cheeks.

"Tali? TALI!" She quickly fell to her knees, embracing her baby girl tightly in her arms. "IMA!" Tali jumped into her mother's lap, wrapping her small arms around Ziva's waist and digging her tiny fingers into her mum's back. "Tali, Ani Ohevet Otach. Hit'gaa'gati elayich kol-kach, Ktana Sheli". Ziva just about managed to choke this out before she clung onto her daughter with all her strength, afraid that if she let her go, she would never see her baby girl again. She never wanted to let go of Tali ever again. And she certainly wasn't planning on it either.

Completely and utterly overwhelmed and elated at seeing her little girl again, Ziva burst into floods of tears and after hearing and seeing her mother crying, Tali soon began to sob as well. It was incredible to be able to hug and hold her young daughter in her arms. To be able to hold close the amazing life who had brought the light back into Ziva's world. To the overjoyed pair, it had felt like they had been apart for so much longer than only a little over 1 week. Too long for a mother and daughter to be apart from each other. She kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her eyelids, her nose, the top of her head. Having her glowing light, her little angel back in her arms, Ziva was soon absolutely inconsolable.

Tony, meanwhile, had just about registered the fact that Tali had now leapt into Ziva's arms but he was still frozen on the spot. Trapped in his own shock. His own doubts. The denial was kicking in, going up a gear or three now. Tony couldn't believe his eyes; he had to double check that they weren't playing tricks on him. He had to know for certain whether or not Ziva was alive and hugging their daughter right in front of him. That is what he had set out to discover.

Slowly, he edged forwards towards the sobbing pair. Tony could sense his own hesitation. As he got closer to them, Tony saw that they were both covered in tears and his heart broke even more. He'd only seen Tali cry after a horrific nightmare and he'd never wanted to see her cry ever again. And could count the number of times on one hand that he'd seen Ziva upset, yet alone _this_ upset. The last occasion of this that popped into his mind was when Eli had been killed. He could see very clearly now how much it had hurt Ziva to let her little girl go, even though it was to protect her and keep her safe. Almost as much as it had hurt to hear that the woman you love is dead and had hidden their daughter from you.

Upon reaching them, Tony crouched down to the ground until he was on his knees, not taking his eyes off of Ziva's face even for a second. _Okay, focus DiNozzo, breathe, you can do this._ He willed himself to slowly lift his shaking hands, needing to feel proof that she was alive. He gently lifted Ziva's right hand from where it was currently placed on Tali's back, but he soon let go in absolute shock and brought both of his hands to cover his mouth, just as Ziva had done a few moments ago. She was here, she really was sitting there in front of him hugging their baby girl.

As soon as his hands had touched hers, Ziva's eyes snapped open and her gaze immediately locked onto Tony's, his sparkling green emerald eyes meeting her deep hazel brown eyes. Neither could help but think back to the last time they had seen each other. Sweet, gentle kisses on the airport tarmac; finally giving in and revealing the strength and complexity of their love for one another in the orchard and at the farmhouse, which was now non-existent. Where Ziva and Tali supposedly were during the attack. But they were here, both of them, all three of them reunited and very much alive. Tony couldn't take it anymore. He took a few deep, shaky breaths, trying to will himself to calm down. But it was no use, he soon had streams of tears flowing, cascading down his face which displayed his complete and utter relief. She was still here, the woman who he loved with all his heart.

"Alive. You're… oh my God… Zi… you're alive. You're alive!" he cried and spluttered out, barely able to hold it together for long enough to form a sentence let alone get those words out. So he re-took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles, the back of her hand, her fingertips, her palm.

It didn't seem like it could be possible, but hearing Tony's chocked words and watching his actions and reaction only made Ziva sob even more, along with Tony who was soon right there with here. The pair, both former agents, former partners, now parents, grabbed onto one another and hugged as if their lives depended on it, with their daughter, their precious baby girl cuddled in between them. Tony clutched onto the back of Ziva's dark blue jumper while he buried his face into the top of her head. Her gorgeous brown hair, now a bit shorter than before, was wild and curly again, just how he loved it and she still smelled like shea butter. Ziva also clung onto Tony's denim jacket and buried her face into his shoulder. He was here, he had found her again. The man who had taken on a Somalian terrorist, spent months tracking her across the globe and had now found her again, here in Paris with their little girl who was currently on her Ima's lap kneeling in between her parents. They were all shaking and trembling so much that they could almost feel the Earth move.

They were by no means perfect and they still had a very long way to go, but for now none of that mattered. For now, they were finally a family.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading! Up next: the reunion aftermath where the tension starts building between Tony and Ziva… Thank you to moonclarinet for adding this story to your community: 'Favorite stories that I like'! I'm truly honoured and humbled, thank you :) Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I hope that those with FF accounts got my replies ok: I love replying to you guys :) Thank you to Chickie10016, Debbie, the 7 guest reviews (I'm not sure if these are all different people so I will reply to each guest comment, I'm not going to label you as guest 1, 2 etc. as this just feels weird so I'll include the first few words from your reviews to distinguish between each one), Stella and Sue Dooley, here are my replies to you guys:**

 **Chickie10016: Thank you for your review! I'm really glad that you enjoyed chapter 8, thank you for the great idea about an additional threat. I was so nervous about if you guys would like the apartment so I'm super glad that you loved it! I think that I've nearly got the backstory about the apartment figured out, hopefully this will be revealed soon. Thank you! I really love teaching and engaging with young people, it's tough but so rewarding when you see a child understand something or smile when they're going through a tough time. That would be a great idea for a school project! My Year 8 English teacher got us to do a group project where we had to create our own TV programme, make a trailer and write a script for the pilot episode. Was so much fun and I've still got this project on my shelf! Thank you for this super idea, it's one that I will definitely use! :)**

 **Debbie: Thank you for your review! Yay Tiva and Tali have finally reunited. Thank you I'm really glad that you loved the apartment idea! Ooh now that's a really interesting idea, having this place be the same one that Gibbs and Jenny used while they were in Paris, I hadn't even thought of that, what a super idea! :)**

 **Guest (I think the team): Thank you for your review! I totally agree, some of them must know or at least (strongly) suspect she is alive. Like you said, especially Gibbs. I like your idea about the team being told by Vance to give Tony a "false" version of the news, I'd love to see or write that as a fanfic. Yeah I also found Gibbs' reactions odd at the time. Maybe, like Tony, he got a gut feeling and started to think about all of the things that don't add up. That way he wouldn't have known about Tali. I dunno! It was just weird how they all got over Ziva dying and Tony leaving so quickly… :)**

 **Guest (If Tony decides): Thank you for your review! Yes, I agree that Senior will be the first person that they tell, and Nettie as well. Probably Shmeil, maybe they'll tell Orli that they've found Ziva. Ooh that would be interesting to have them inform Vance who would then tell the rest of the team, I would love to see how they would all react to that :)**

 **Guest (If Tony does find Ziva off-screen): Thank you for your review! Ooh wow, your comments were really thought provoking. Yeah I think it could go one of two ways: either like you said Team Gibbs would be unaware of what's going on, or Tony would contact them and the team would help to track down whoever is after them. That's a really interesting thought :)**

 **Guest (When you mentioned): Thank you for your review! Thank you that's really helpful, I like your take on that scene, especially all of the details and the metaphors. I hope that chapter 9 had a little bit more drama and detail in it, your comment gave me some great ideas when I got stuck with writer's block! :)**

 **Guest (Thank you for reading my previous review): Thank you for your review! WOW what a detailed review you gave, I'm blown away! No problem, I always try hard to reply to every review I get, I love getting to talk to you guys :)**

 **1\. I love your comments and ideas involving the "Bury Your Dead" episode, so so clever! Yes, tell me about it, it was so frustrating to lots of Ziva, Tony and Tiva fans how the finale panned out. Ooh now a reunion like the one you mentioned from CSI would have been much better to see on NCIS, I like it! Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I love this point that Ziva has gone through a similar/identical situation to Tony, thank you so much for sharing this idea! If it's okay with you, would it be alright if I mention the car explosion, S5 EP1 in a later chapter please? I think that it would be fun to include that situation in a Tiva argument?!**

 **2\. Thank you! I would love to write more NCIS FF after this story. Ooh, I haven't heard of "Best Intentions" I'll definitely be giving that one a read, that FF sounds really interesting. That might be quite an interesting take on the finale Family First…**

 **3\. Woah, have you ever written FF? Cos you've got some amazing ideas and a super imagination! I loved reading them! I've read the FF "Why She Walked Away", where an angel of sorts takes Gibbs through different stages of Ziva's life to show him why she went back to Israel in S11. Your idea would be really cool to write about, it also reminds me a little of the S9 ep "Life Before His Eyes" when Gibbs is shot in the diner. That would be so interesting, have a bigger team, maybe with Kate and Ziva, maybe some other characters too.**

 **4\. Again, another clever idea! I would like to see Kelly slowly remember her old life. I like how she marries a man serving his country, naming their daughter Maddie and Kelly working for a government agency. That's interesting, how she would watch Gibbs from the side-lines, debating whether or not to tell him. Maybe she wants to join NCIS to be close to her father? Yeah I know right, God only knows what direction NCIS will go in now! It's clever that you mentioned we never saw their bodies, just like we never saw Ziva's. Yeah, I don't think Gibbs needs to be married to be happy, but it would be nice to see him as a father or grandfather.**

 **5\. Thank you, it just made sense to me that Tony would make a list. He and Ziva both write lists and follow instructions. They followed Gibbs' rules, especially #12, Tony wrote a bucket list, they both wrote I Will lists (Ziva did this twice). It just made sense that Tony may not be able to express all of his ideas straight away, but he would write them in a list. Haha now I'm choking on my water, I would love it if GG read all of the plot holes that all of the fans have come up with and ones included in this story. We can only hope that we are right, cos we gotta believe that Ziva's alive :)**

 **Guest (The ending scene): Thank you for both of your reviews! Ooh yes I really like that, I can imagine that type of music would perfect for both this chapter and that scene in NCIS, that scene was stunning and heart-breaking. I also thought about that ep while writing this chapter. When Ziva is crying and speaking in Hebrew to Tali, it made me think about when she was crying and talking in Hebrew to Eli :)**

 **Stella: Thank you for your review! Hehe I'm so sorry about yet another cliff-hanger! Thank you, I'm so glad that you like the apartment and that it sounds cosy. I agree, I think that after their initial relief and hug, there would be a lot of angst and tension, leading to some arguments and much needed discussions. But, as you said, over time they would grow to give each other their little looks again and build up to strengthening their relationship before finally going on a first date. Aww thank you (I'm blushing now!) I'm really glad that you like my FF writing :) It's a pleasure getting to know you too and I'm so happy to be sharing this journey with you. Thank you for those lovely words, I will work hard to make them proud of me. Oh wow that is so cool that your mum is a teacher, what a small world! I bet that she is really amazing and inspiring and I bet that she is super proud of you! TEAM ZIVA IS NOT DEAD :)**

 **Sue Dooley:** **Thank you for your review! Woohoo** **Ziva's alive! Thank you I'm so glad that you loved the apartment idea, I had no idea how people would react to that. Ooh I love your idea about where Tony may have gotten the key from, it's one that I am considering. Oh yes there will definitely be some serious discussions and tears. You said "Could it have been a plan they had developed before?" Sue, keep hold of that thought, you may be onto something there…! :)**


	10. Chapter 10: A Very Awkward Family Dinner

**Hiya! Thank you all so much for your responses to the Tiva reunion, I'm so glad that you liked it. That was one of the toughest chapters to write, but one that I enjoyed writing very much :) I guess this is a bit of a filler chapter, but I needed to bridge the reunion with the start of problems being discussed and solved. Thank you to the guest reviewer who asked about Tali's name. I debated for ages whether to call her DiNozzo or David-DiNozzo as it wasn't confirmed in the ep. I have got an idea about her being DiNozzo, but I've put a poll up under my profile or you guys can leave your preference as a comment and I will let you decide. I will change it in my earlier chapter if you guys want her to be David-DiNozzo :)**

 **To anyone who has been affected by what happened recently in Orlando, I am so sorry. I know that this won't take away the pain or make much of a difference. I am totally devastated and shocked by Christina Grimmie's death. She was the first musician I ever watched on YouTube 6 years ago and she was the first person that I subscribed to. A beautiful voice and a beautiful person. Sending love to her family and those closest to her. The tributes to her are beautiful: her gofundme page, Selena's tribute, Doddleoddle, Sam Tsui, Connie Talbot and Emma Blackery (all on YouTube), the amazing gesture by Adam Levine, the list goes on. Thank you, Christina. To the 49 beautiful people who sadly had their lives cut short in the nightclub, to everyone who was there, who was injured, who knows anyone who was there. These people were sadly targeted because of their sexual orientation. But they are defined by more than that. They were somebody's family, with their whole lives ahead of them. May you all live on in the lives that you touched. xxxxx**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who is following this story: 1994omi, 19Jessica98, 4susan41, 82kt, agirlwithasmile, ambermichele, angry penguin, anniemous27, arcadia1328, Athenalarissa, Atlante41, Aubrey Etta, bartiks97, beckums8685, Biah Ara, BlackWidowAndCapRule, BleachedAmerican, bobisbusy, Brightlight94, bryz9394, bunnykoko, CheriLane, cindy Seidenberg, countrygal64, Craquotte123, csanders724, Custos Luna, DetectiveInspectorSydney, dreams and desperation, DS2010, Ebony10, egal77, Ella Kelly, EowynGoldberry, Fahrenhheit, fireandice1986, gallieni, Gehrl, georginiuxa, giggles11228, Hales23, HarrylovesGinny09, heathergsu02, hejo.12, , HK Target Shooter, HoldxOn, Hollywoodlove09, hopalong123546, Iluvgleetwilightthg, ittybittyalissa, IwantmyveryownBooth, James the vet, JdnHwke169, jenny1221, jgibbs7, Josette1807, kakus5, KariNCIS, ke31288, Kerrald x, kfink77, Kim69etv, kissedyouwithfire, klutzysunshine, krazymelmo5385, Krazzy Kezz, kurrumu, Laurenmk20, libs1709, Lipush, littlecook28, love is only a dream, love2read20, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, LyanaDavid, MaileS, malec4eva, mama's-broken-heart, MariangelC, minihannibal65, MM NCIS, Mockingprettygirls, moviesmadewithlove, Mrs. Fitzgerald, nattlouu, ncisgirl18, ncisgirl2486, ncistiva8, NightKing56, over a cliff'-'all in, Pheonix1995, pixie79, priscious, Rach4, runner229, scarredlove, sentarstage, seriously56, sjg563517, SJlove07, sonckad, SookieEricObsessed, SUZITROUBLE, sydchilton, tammy henson, tazmania081005, tere55, tiffanynloud, Tiva-Forever-08, TivaCallensi4ever, tivawaigequintis, Troyella-Tiva 4ever, True Blue Pretender, TZDDN, UndeadOctopus, VivianaLockhart, Wiggle34 and writeinspiredraw.**

 **Thank you to all of you who have favourited: agirlwithasmile, ambermichele, Anniefynn, BlackWidowAndCapRule, booklover321, ChrisVermouth, cindy Seidenberg, Cosmos89, Craquotte123, DetectiveInspectorSydney, doggy bye, Ebony Ater, emeraldcello, fireandice1986, gallieni, Gehrl, georginiuxa, HarrylovesGinny09, Hiphuggers2, hlaughlin93, hopalong123546, James the vet, jgibbs7, kakus5, Kerrald x, Kim69etv, Krazzy Kezz, kurrumu, libs1709, love is only a dream, love2read20, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, MariangelC, melitami, minihannibal65, missy841, Mlb080915, MM NCIS, Mockingprettygirls, MyMindJJ, nattlouu, navalhut, ncisandsvuaddict, NightKing56, priscious, RAD092515, seriously56, srshibaharah, StarKiss666, tammy henson, tazmania081005, .161, tiffanynloud, TivaILY, tivawaigequintis, Troyella-Tiva 4ever, Wiggle34, writeinspiredraw and zivadavid03.**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Please see the end of this chapter for additional thanks to you all and replies to guest reviews. Your comments were so lovely and detailed that I want to reply to them fully. I hope that's ok with you guys :)**

* * *

 **Wednesday 25th May 2016, Parisian Apartment, France, 6pm**

Ziva moaned quietly and shifted slightly, beginning to stir awake, yet keeping her eyes squeezed tightly shut, wanting to stay wrapped up in the blanket-like cocoon of the darkness for a little while longer. _Urgh, what happened?_ She was so comfy wherever she was, she didn't want to move anytime soon. But as she was laying there, Ziva slowly began to remember what was going on. She'd gone out earlier on to get some groceries from the little convenience store down the road… she'd got back to the apartment… where she'd been surprised by –

"Tali!" Ziva's eyes flew wide open as she cried out while she bolted upright, her head and eyes darting rapidly around the room, desperately searching for her daughter. _Maybe it was just a dream, just my imagination trying to play games with me. I did just fall asleep on the floor; I must be trying to wish her here with me._

However, her actions and cry had caused the other two sleepy, jet-lagged people to wake up. As the tired pair stretched themselves out, both father and daughter gave a tired groan simultaneously. Ziva jumped at the sound and gasped, locating the source of the noise to her left. Her eyes quickly filled with tears again. _They're here, they're really here!_

As soon as Tali had rolled over onto her right side and seen Ziva again, seen her Ima again, she immediately shot up into a seated position and wrapped her arms around her mother, clinging on for dear life. "IMA!" This little girl was determined not to be parted from her mother ever again. Ziva hugged her daughter, with some silent tears beginning to fall and trickle down her cheeks.

 _This is not how things were supposed to happen._

Tony slowly sat up beside them and looked over to the pair, running his right hand through his now scruffy hair while his left hand kept him balanced against the cool floor. His hair was sticking up all over the place, reminding Ziva of her first day as a member of the team almost 11 years ago now…

 _"You might want to do something about your hair. It's sticking up like a porcu-swine. No, wrong word. Like a porcu-pig? The little animal with the little spikies, yes. The –"_

 _"Porcupine."_

 _"- Porcupine! Thank you, Special Agent McGee."_

Breaking that memory and the silence of the room, Tali's stomach suddenly made a loud growl. Ziva glanced down at her and chuckled, "My my motek, are you hungry? It is only… 6 o'clock!" she exclaimed after checking her wristwatch. "No wonder why you are hungry, it's past somebody's dinner time, is it not?"

Tali giggled loudly as Ziva started to tickle her tummy, burying her small face into her Ima's shoulder. Tony couldn't help but smile at the loving scene in front of his eyes. But he knew that this would not last. He and Ziva were going to need some serious talks. And soon. The question was when, especially when you add a near two-year-old into the equation?

While Tony was thinking loudly to himself, Ziva also had a thought and looked at him. "Would you like to feed her?" Tony looked a little shocked at her question, mouth slightly agape. Maybe she did want him to be a part of Tali's life. He really wanted to feed his daughter, he'd been doing so well with her over the last week. But this was definitely not the time. Tali needed to be with her mum. Besides, she was their precious daughter, not a trophy to be fought over. "It's ok, you go. I don't think that she's keen on letting you go anywhere anytime soon."

With that, Tony used both his hands to push himself off of the living room floor to stand up, groaning a little as he stretched out his sore muscles. _Remind me to never sleep on a cobbled floor ever again. Or any floor for that matter!_ With one last glance towards the cuddling pair, he made his way over to the fallen bags and began to pick up the forgotten groceries from the floor.

Ziva watched his actions apprehensively and sighed quietly to herself, softly stroking Tali's gentle curls. But she wasn't going to sit there feeling sorry for herself. She knew she had to face the consequences of her actions. And she had a very hungry daughter to take of too.

"Come, little one. We need to get you some dinner, don't we now?"

Gently, Ziva maneuvered Tali so that she balanced on her left hip and was almost hugging her sideways, like a baby koala bear, and managed to stand up with her daughter safely in her arms. As they left for the kitchen and for food, Ziva looked behind her at Tony the whole way. _Why are you here? You're not safe here. Neither of you are._

Tony kept his sights on the parcels on the floor, not quite able to look at Ziva again just yet, although he could feel her gaze on him. While he was left alone in the living room, Tony used this time to try and clear some of his thoughts in his spinning mind while gathering up the food items (luckily nothing had broken or spilt). There was just so much to take in, a lot to process. He didn't know how to feel right now. Should he be happy, elated, angry, upset? Was there even a proper way to react to a situation like this? _No. And there shouldn't be either._ But above all, he had one burning question, which he still couldn't wrap his head around the answer to.

 _Did that really just happen?_

He let out a big sigh and put his now throbbing head into his hands, feeling the start of a headache coming on. _Us together. The three of us. That's how it should have been right from the start. We've lost almost 2, 3 years that we could have spent as a family. I've missed out on so much. Ziva needs to know how I feel. We have got to talk._ He could hear giggling beginning to emulate from the kitchen and he was growing curious as to what was going on in there. _Not yet. Not in front of Tali. I won't have her listening to us argue, her parents arguing. While I may not trust Ziva very much right now, I won't let Tali get hurt because of us anymore. She will not grow up the way that we did._

Decision made for now, he made his way to a standing position, collected the shopping and made his way towards the source of the laughter...

* * *

Things were very quiet at the dinner table. Only the sound of cutlery scrapping against the plates could be heard echoing around the wide room. The antique, wooden piece of furniture was now a witness to the awkward silence between the adults in the room. Tony and Ziva sat opposite each other, both looking down at their plates with their daughter seated in a high chair in between them. Neither one was really eating though, with Tony choosing instead to pick around at the poached chicken, mash and veg on his plates and Ziva running her fork through the mash over and over again. Both choosing to remain in their own little bubbles for now.

They hadn't really spoken much in the kitchen. Just a few words here and there: _What did you both eat for lunch? Anything I can do to help with dinner? Thank you for picking up the groceries, you did not have to do that._ They'd just quietly got on with sorting out some food and keeping Tali entertained and encouraging her to have a go at mashing some potatoes, eliciting some laughs from all three of them. There wasn't much to say to each other at this moment in time.

Tali, who was seemingly oblivious to the increasing tension within the room, was beginning to get a bit restless as Ziva had become fixated on her own plate while all she wanted another mouthful of food. Tali was starting to eye-up what was on her Ima's plate. She started to babble in Hebrew and tried to bang her left hand against the top of the high chair. Ziva jumped a bit and looked over to her, smiling widely. She took Tali's spoon from her dish and scooped up some of the creamy mash and veg from her own plate. After placing the spoon in her mouth and making yummy sounds, she then scooped up some more veg and mash and reached over to feed Tali. Laughing at her mother's antics and seeing that she had both eaten and enjoyed the food, Tali quickly took the spoon and ate the food. Ziva laughed, "Good job, Tali! You are such a clever girl, are you not?"

As Ziva continued to feed Tali, Tony finally peered up from his plate of food which had done wonders to capture his attention for the past 10 minutes, watching with slight awe at the scene in front of him. Ziva had obviously learnt the tricks that Jimmy had taught him the previous week _(had it really been a week already?)_ about encouraging their daughter to eat. Orli had been right, Ziva was a natural. Who would have thought so all those years ago? This was the first time that he had witnessed Ziva as a mother. Maternal Ziva. It took his breath away. And part of him couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous at their bond. At what he had missed out on.

Now exhausted after an emotional reunion and full-up from her dinner, Tali's eyes began to flutter and droop. Wanting her to get some proper sleep, Ziva carefully lifted the little girl from the high chair and into her arms, carrying her through to the child's bedroom which adjoined onto the master bedroom. Walking over to the little bed, Ziva gently placed Tali under the covers, still holding onto her slightly. The little girl in question gently grasped onto the front of her mother's jumper, needing the comfort. Ziva wanted nothing more at that moment than to crawl into the bed, curl up beside her daughter, hum to her and fall asleep together. As they had done many times before. But she couldn't avoid this anymore. She wouldn't run away again. She had to talk to Tony.

Slowly, she untangled herself from Tali's grasp, desperately trying not to wake her up, and made her way to stand up again, once again bringing out those ninja skills. The little girl gave a slight moan about the movement but she just rolled over onto her left side and snuggled further into the covers; a small smile appearing on her face. This made Ziva want to start crying again and she had to give herself a few seconds to compose herself. There was no way that she could begin to talk to Tony if she was in tears.

"Ani Ohevet Otach, Tali." Kissing her little girl softly on her forehead, Ziva gently tucked some of the short, unruly curls from her daughter's face behind her ear, turned to exit the master bedroom and looked back over her shoulder to watch her sleepy girl before she left. However, as she entered the living room to make her way back towards the kitchen where she had last seen Tony, Ziva was surprised to see that he was currently pacing back and forth in the middle of the living room, hands loosely in the pockets of his jeans.

As he turned back to face her, Tony spotted Ziva exiting the bedroom and ceased his pacing. Tony stood there in the middle of the living room, just a short distance away from the bedroom door. He had his arms folded across his chest. He needed answers.

"We need to talk."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading this, you super amazing people! Oh yeah, they most definitely need to talk. Hopefully they will start to sort things out in the next chapter. Thank you to all of you who reviewed, you guys give me a lot of ideas and positivity which I can't thank you all enough for. I hope that all those with FF accounts got my replies alright, here are the Guest comments replies (again I've put the 1st few words of Guest reviews in brackets so you know who I'm replying to). Thank you :)**

 **Debbie: Thank you so much for your review! Wow, thank you I'm really glad you liked the little reunion! Oh yes they defo still need to talk, you're right they need that in order to go forward. There will certainly be a lot to discuss before they even think about being in a relationship. :)**

 **Guest (Deena Bashan): Thank you so much for your review! Ooh, do you know what, that is a very interesting idea! She may definitely pop up within this fic, if this is alright with you, as it's your great idea? Yeah, I could definitely still see her being angry and upset with Ziva. I don't think they would have repaired and rebuilt their bridges. Hmm, yeah sadly I don't think she'd think twice about harming Tali. Thank you again :)**

 **Guest (Yesterday is history): Thank you so much for your review! Wow, I absolutely love both of those quotes. I would love to use both of those as chapter endings, if this is alright. They both really made me think :)**

 **Guest (Things I'd Like to Say): Thank you so much for your review!**

 **1\. Thank you, yeah I'm thinking of adding that ep into the mix in chapter 11 or 12. Think Tony will have a lot to say about their "presumed death" situations…!**

 **2\. Ahh, you have a great imagination! Thank you, I'm really glad that you are finding this story interesting, it really does reassure me as a writer. Yes, I'm really glad that you do comment your ideas, I love reading each and every review. If someone does make a suggestion, I love to ask their permission to include this within this FF. It feels weird as I do have my own ideas and I don't want readers to feel like I'm pinching the ideas of others, but I want to write this FF for the fans of the show and the Tony, Ziva and Tali characters. I totally get reviewing as a guest reviewer, I did that for many years before setting up this account. I hope that it's alright that I reply to you guys, I just want to take the time to thank you all individually, you don't have to review so I just like to say thanks and talk. I love FF's that build a community between the writer and the readers :)**

 **3\. The "Second Chances Given & Not Wasted" type is a very interesting idea, one that I will definitely keep noted down. It's one to look at once I have finished with this FF. If I can write it well, I may well publish it.**

 **4\. Yeah I don't think I've seen that either, which is a good thing, you're right it's cruel. It would be a very interesting storyline! Ooh yes she does look like young Kelly, she would be great in that role.**

 **5\. Yes, the more I think over that ep, the more it does feel like a challenge. Also, why did Ziva re-join Mossad? That wasn't covered in the last ep. Did she re-join, was it a typo? Yeah we all responded in our own ways to that ep, for some that was initial anger, denial and then pulling the ep apart. Hehe yeah I had to take it take one step further, the idea wouldn't disappear from my head until I wrote it down! I think that would be a great challenge for GG, I hope that the writers do read all of the finale FF's out there. Wow, thank you! I don't know what to say! I'm so glad you like this little FF. That's really nice. There are so many amazing FF's out there and I'm trying to write this one well for all you guys :)**

 **6\. It was really nice and heart-breaking when Ziva said she wanted something permanent. I am glad that she and Tony finally had a daughter. Yes, I love that Tiva babysat together twice! That will defo be mentioned in this story somewhere. Ooh, I forgot that Tony said that. It's nice that the love for dogs and animals was passed down to Tali.**

 **7\. Hehe, yes! Maybe they could get a puppy when things settle down and when Tali is slightly older. Ziva loves dogs and Tony as you said thought about getting one. Now to choose a breed…!**

 **8\. Thank you, yeah I know I played around with the speech in that chapter for days (just ask Lipush!)! We did come up with some lines like that, but we decided that they would fit better into chapter 12, when Tali has a nightmare. I hope that this is okay. Hehe, think you were right, they all cried themselves to sleep. :)**

 **Guest (IT BEGAN...): Thank you for your review! Hehe I absolutely love that scene, it was so clever! Who would have though, huh! It's so strange to think about ep's like that now as we know that something finally did happen! I'm defo gonna bring that up in a later scene with the Morph Pro! The lovechild is real. Maybe they printed a copy of their lovechild out, maybe one of them still has the photo, ooh so many ideas now, THANK YOU! Hehe, it's all good, I love dramatic writing! :)**

 **Guest (Some of Gibbs' rules…): Thank you for your review! Oh yes, the rules will be very relevant to the rest of this story, especially the next few chapters. With Ziva's memory, I defo agree that she would know every rule. Don't worry about the link, does that! The infamous Rule 12 will be the biggest one there. And Rule 5. And 8. Quite a few! Yes, the rules had and still have a huge impact on Tony and Ziva, even though they are no longer on the team, they will still follow them. They both wanted to make Gibb's proud of them :)**

 **Guest (I personally suspect...) Thank you for your review! That would have been really lovely, we never heard anything about Rivka. What happened to her, how old Ziva was when she died, we didn't see or hear much about her. I think that I'm gonna bring her up in a later chapter, think I might have Tony and Ziva discuss their mother's and how Tali almost grew up like they did. It would have been nice to have learnt more about her :)**

 **Guest (If this were…): Thank you for your review! OOOOHH! I love it! That's great! Actually can't stop thinking of that now haha! I wonder, if it's alright with you, I'm thinking that could be an interesting way to end this whole FF, would that be alright with you? I'll write it in my FF notepad so I don't forget (you're more than welcome to keep bugging me about it!) :)**

 **Guest (After watching Batman V Superman): Thank you for your review! Ooh, yeah I reckon that Tony or Ziva will say something similar at some point during this lil FF… :)**

 **Guest (By all means…): Thank you for your review!**

 **1\. Yeah their private talks will begin in the next chapter. Oh yes Ziva is definitely prepared like you said near enough all the time. The BYD ep fits well and makes a lot of sense, thank you :)**

 **2\. Yeah I think Kelly would work for a relatively unknown agency or one that doesn't feature often. Would be interesting if she and Gibbs ended up working a case together? :)**

 **Guest (Now I remember!): Thank you for our review! Ooh yes I loved that piece of music, Brian Kirk just composes some beautiful scores! I can't read chapter 9 without 'Aliyah' in my head now, it's beautiful, thank you :)**

 **Guest (Even though it is inevitable…): Thank you for your review! Yes I think that the trust between them has been broken, especially Tony's trust for Ziva. Oh yeah, they will both definitely say things that they don't mean and also truths that need to be told. Their anger will die down after a while. Ooh Arrow, great show! Think I'll go find that FF now, it sounds good! I really like that, they defo need to regain their trust in each other. They will be able to talk and work through their issues :)**

 **Guest (Shouldn't the name…): Thank you for your review! Yeah, I debated for so long about her full name, going back and forth over last name. It was a very good point for you to raise. I am happy to go with whatever the readers of this FF want her to be called, I hope that this is okay with you? Thank you :)**

 **Guest (The following below…): Thank you for your review!**

 **1\. Yeah definitely, Tali's nightmares aren't just going to disappear. She may have a fear now of being suddenly separated from her mum again. Yes, being in her own room will also heighten her fear, she may end up in the master bedroom or having someone sleep in her room.**

 **2\. Yeah I like that, I think that she knows a few basic words, maybe Ziva or Tony have taught her, but Tony will really help her to pick up the language. She could be a whizz, just like her mother.**

 **3\. It will be very interesting to see what Ziva did and went through over the last 3 years. Yes I completely agree, while Ziva may have wanted to start again, I think that Orli would have kept her updated about Tony and the team. Maybe that convinced her to stay in Israel to keep Tali safe? I think she would feel really guilty about Diane and those hurt by Sergei.**

 **4\. That's very interesting. I am so torn between whether they will tell the team or not about Ziva, I've sadly actually got a table with why they should and shouldn't tell them!**

 **5\. I like the whole blocked communication situation. It's something that's in my table, as it may give away that Ziva is alive to the mercenaries. I think that they would hopefully try to find a way to inform Nettie, Shmeil and Sr at least.**

 **6\. Ooh, the We Will list, that's very intriguing, I like it! Think that could work very well, if it's okay with you to use that :)**

 **I love the chapter title ideas that you came up with, they're really clever. I'm really debating between naming the chapters now and as I go along, or naming the chapters once this story is finished. I also a bit torn, as I'm starting to feel like I'm pinching ideas from comments but I also want you guys to feel a part of this story. So would it be alright if your chapter headings are used, you would be credited in this FF as this. :)**


	11. Chapter 11: The Facts of Life

**Hello there! Thank you so much for the huge amount of support you have given so far; I'm still shocked by the response that this story has received. I'm so sorry that this has taken so long, it's been manic here and this chapter has turned into an essay!** **Huge shout-out to Lipush, who after checking over the Hebrew words that have been used in this story, then proof-read this chapter and shared with me three absolutely beautiful lullabies and the words both in Hebrew and in English. You have inspired me and thank you for giving me permission to include the '** **Bo'i Ima** **' lullaby in this chapter. It's the most beautiful song. Thank you to the 2 people who voted in my poll and for those of you who told me via reviews or PM's about Tali's name. It's still open as there's not an overall majority, but I may have an idea about her name… :) Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! Please see the end of this chapter for thanks and replies to guests :)**

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 **Wednesday 25th May 2016, Parisian Apartment, France, 8pm**

" _We need to talk."_

Tony stood there in the middle of the living room, just a short distance away from the bedroom door. He had his arms folded across his chest. He needed answers. Ziva stood opposite him, not backing down from his gaze. While she knew that the "honeymoon period" was over and that this was not going to be an easy discussion, Ziva knew that she'd messed up a lot and now she needed to face the consequences of her actions. She'd spent the last 3 years running and hiding from her past and now it had come back to bite her. Of course it would. It made her think back to what she had told Farid Bawali, the Lebanese father who had tried to come to America with his family…

" _You cannot run away from your past. It always catches up."_

Ziva shuddered at that reminder, but she knew that her past self was right. She should have known 3 years ago that distancing herself wasn't going to change much. It wouldn't change who she was. She would always be Ziva David: the former director Eli's daughter; part of Mossad; an NCIS agent; someone with a constant target on their back. But she could still help to change things for their daughter, starting by facing Tony DiNozzo, the man whom she loved with all her heart and had pushed away to try to protect. _A lot of good that did._ She took a deep breath in and exhaled quietly, trying to prepare herself for finally explaining the truth to Tony. He deserved nothing less. "Yes, I believe that I owe you an explanation."

"Huh." Tony couldn't help but scoff slightly at that. "Well that's an understatement. You owe me several now, in fact." He was pushing his hand further into his trouser pockets, trying to calm himself down a little. He knew that he had every right to be angry right now, but he also needed to get through this much-needed, long overdue talk. Ziva nodded her head slightly in agreement with him, clasping her hands out together in front of her. Though it was the right thing to do, this was still not easy. Then again, when was anything ever easy between the two of them?

Without another word, Tony made his way over to the couch, placing himself at the far-left-hand side of the sofa and crossing his arms. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation between two old partners who were just catching up. This was going to be so much more than that. This was about the truth. And while Tony now knew most of what had transpired over the last few years for his former partner, he needed to hear the events from Ziva herself. He looked up at her, expectedly, waiting for her move.

The "your move" look that Tony was sending her way instantly brought Ziva back to a conversation she'd had with Abby soon after they'd rescued her from Somalia. " _This is your move. And it better be a good one."_ She was right. Abby had been right then and she was right again now. Ziva moved over to the other side of the room, sitting at the opposite end of the sofa to Tony, leaving a large gap in between the two of them. Both of them couldn't help but notice how much that symbolised where their relationship was to each other at that moment in time. Torn. Separated. Broken. Beyond repair? Only time would tell. And revealing the truth couldn't hurt, either. Could it?

The two of them just sat there for a while, not quite looking at each other just yet. Neither of them could have seen this coming. This did feel a little strange, though. Most of their important, game-changing conversations had taken place in the NCIS elevator or in the men's room. The last time they'd had a conversation on the sofa was back when Tony had just found Ziva in Israel and he'd explained how he'd managed to track her down. How much had changed since then. And yet, so many things remained the same. He'd still managed to find her, again. Except this time, Ziva didn't need to ask how he'd found her. She already knew. But she hadn't wanted him to. _"I did not want you to find me, and yet you did."_ He was in danger now. Tali was in danger now. And yet again, it was her fault. _"You should not have come. You should have left me alone."_

All the while, the silence had continued to stretch out, spreading its way across the entire length of the room, making the atmosphere even more tense than it had been while they were eating dinner. With the living room windows still wide open, they could hear the busy traffic whizzing about; people hustling and bustling on their way to and from the market; tourists trying to flag down a taxi and make pretty terrible attempts at speaking French. This was getting them nowhere. Ziva couldn't take it anymore and she turned to face Tony, folding her right leg underneath her. After a few moments, Tony turned his head so that their eyes now met.

"Fire away."

Tony just sat there for a moment, looking at her with a blank expression. _Trust her to start getting the idioms right_ _after_ _she'd left America!_ Ziva didn't know whether he was going to scream at her or begin a disappointed speech. In all honestly, she wasn't sure which one would be worse right now. Even Tony himself didn't know how he was going to react to this. There was so much that he needed to know, so many questions that he needed to ask, yet he didn't know where to start. There really was no right place. So instead, he pulled out a piece of paper from his top left pocket and placed it on the middle seat of the sofa in front of him, almost like how he had shared this with Orli.

After sending a questioning, confused stare first towards the paper and then back at Tony, Ziva cautiously reached forwards and took the mysterious sheet into her hands, staring at it for a few seconds. Apprehensively, Ziva unfolded the piece of paper and began to read through his list:

 **DiNozzo's reasons why Ziva's still alive:**

 _1\. They haven't found a body._ Ziva wasn't in the building so there was no body to find.

 _2\. We never saw a survivor being pulled from the house._ There was no survivor – Tali wasn't there.

 _3\. Don't believe what you're told. Always double check._ Checked out ideas in Israel and with Orli.

 _4\. Where's the smell of smoke?_ The go-bag wasn't in the fire.

 _5\. No bruises, cuts, burns._ Tali was safe at Orli's house.

 _6\. She would have known._ Confirmed.  My ninja did know.

 _7\. Tali was so far from Ziva in the house._ Unconfirmed. Highly doubtful.

 _8\. Kelev._ Was with Tali at Orli's house.

 _9\. Ziva's scarf._ Tali's favourite. Clue to Israel.

 _10\. Paris._ Again, Tali's favourite. Our mission. Apartment?

 _11\. Trent Kort._ Tipped off.

As she was reading Tony's words, Ziva could feel his pain, his agony, bouncing off the page. She could feel how much he'd been hurt by all of this. Her mind was spinning; she didn't quite know what to think. She was surprised at the lengths that Tony had gone to in order to find her after what she'd done, but she had a sneaking suspicion that he'd done so mainly for Tali. _After everything that you have put him through, can you blame him? If I were him, I wouldn't want anything to do with me ever again._ _But still, even after 3 years, he knew me well enough to question the situation. Rule 3. He knew that I was still alive. He knew where I'd be. Hold on, he went back to Israel? He spoke with Orli there? I guess that explains how my suitcase ended up in the living room._ Guilt began to eat away at her. She hadn't expected Tony's actions; she'd just wanted Tali to be safe. There was no one else she would have even considered sending their daughter to –

"So, we have a daughter together now, do we?"

Ziva's jumped at the sudden sound from within the apartment and her head shot up from the piece of paper in her hands.

"I mean, I know we shared a very fond farewell back in Israel, but wow. Can't say I was expecting that."

Feeling ashamed at her actions, Ziva looked down at her hands and began to pick her at her nails nervously. _Ah ah ah, NO. Look at him. Don't be such a coward. This is your mess; you cannot hide away from this anymore. Face it and move forwards._ She moved her gaze back so that she was looking directly at Tony again. "Yes, Tali is your daughter, Tony. There was nobody else. There was never anybody else. Tali is definitely yours."

"I know…. I know." Ziva looked curiously at him. "Orli already explained that to me, but you can tell by her eyes. She has my eyes."

Ziva smiled at him sadly. "Yes she does. She looks a lot like you; acts a lot like you too."

Raising his eyebrows in slight disbelief, Tony scoffed and looked away from her to face the wall in front of him instead. "Yeah, well it's only been a week for me, I wouldn't know too much about that."

Ziva winced a bit internally. What he was saying was absolutely right and totally justified, but it still hurt to hear. "Tony, I –"

Shooting back round to see her, Tony shook his head in anger and moved his arms to his sides, touching the seat of the sofa. "No… no. Why didn't you tell me? No wait, better question, how could you not tell me? How could you not tell me that I'm a father; that we created a child together? I'm a father, I'm her father and you didn't even bother to tell me?! You didn't give me a say in being involved in her life!". With his words, Tony was waving his hands in front of him, emphasising his anger at the situation.

"I wanted to tell you, Tony, I just didn't know how or even where to begin. I didn't know how you would take this…" Tony gave her a wide-eyed expression.

"Oh, well you only had two years to figure that out. To figure out that yeah, okay, I would have been mad to begin with. But I would have been glad that you'd told me and we could have worked past that. But now I don't know, Ziva. I guess you never did really know me. And maybe I never really knew you either. Because the woman I remember would have had the guts to tell me."

That really got to Ziva. While she had tried to change over the last few years, her loss of self-confidence had resulted in her losing a lot of her gutsiness, something that she wished she'd retained _._ "You are right. I should have told you sooner. That is the one thing that I regret the most. I know that I messed up, Tony. I am so sorry. I know that won't change anything, but I am sorry. As Tali got older, I realised more and more how I should have told you the truth from the start."

"So why didn't you?" Ziva opened her mouth to begin to explain her side of the story, but Tony wasn't quite finished just yet. "Yes I know that your pregnancy was complicated and you didn't want to chance anything, but Tali's nearly 2 years old now, Ziva! You've had plenty of time."

Ziva went quiet and stared out of the window for a while, gathering her thoughts. _Stop staring out there, that is not going to help you. You will not find your answers out of the window! Tell him the truth._ "I knew that you wouldn't be pleased. I just didn't know how to tell you. What was I supposed to say? Hi Tony, I know that it's been a while, but do you remember when you found me in Israel? Well, we have a daughter together now, surprise!"

Tony had had enough now. He shot up from his seat like a rocket, so fast that you could have blinked and missed it. Ziva jumped, taken aback by his sudden action. "Yeah well that would have been a hell of a lot better than this mess, Ziva. At least that would have involved you telling me. Instead I had to find out from Orli of all people, in Vance's office, the day after your supposed death, that you had been hiding our child from me! Can you blame me for being beyond angry with you right now?! Because thanks to you, that's two years wasted. TWO. WHOLE. YEARS. I've missed two whole years of Tali's life. My own daughter. There's so many things that I've missed out on. Her birth; her first word; first steps – everything! Do you realise that? All those little milestones I never got to experience. I will never get that back, Ziva. That's on you."

Like Tony had done, Ziva now also jumped up from the sofa. They were completely facing each other now, enormous amounts of hurt and anger radiating off of the pair. "You think that I don't know that?! I never wanted to keep you two apart. I wanted to tell you about Tali, you are right, you should not have had to find out from Orli. But do you really think that I wanted this? That I wanted Tali to grow up without her father?!"

"I don't know what to think right now. I've spent the best part of this last week trying to figure that out. I would have thought that because you knew what it's like to grow up without a parent, that you would have wanted Tali to know differently. To have both of her parents in her life. But instead she has only just met me and she was almost motherless a week ago!"

Ziva didn't even want to contemplate that last statement. "Of course I wanted things to be different for Tali!"

"You had a funny way of showing it!"

The conversation paused for a split second. Ziva needed Tony to understand. "Tony, this was never meant to spite you. I did not want our daughter to grow up without knowing you, but…"

At her hesitation, Tony indicated towards her with his hands. "Well, please, go ahead. Explain."

Ziva hesitated again. _Focus, breathe, pull yourself together. If you hesitate, he will think that you are lying to him._ Ziva breathed in, breathed out and then answered. "About 2 months after you left, I found out that I was pregnant. I panicked, alright. I did not know what to say to you. I had just asked you to leave, how could I then I ask you to drop everything and fly half way around the world again? You had just spent months tracking me down, I wanted you to have your life, not live mine."

She didn't get it. Ziva was his life. She had been his life. _I deserved to have the choice. And it would have been the easiest decision of my life._ "So, what, you could tell your aunt and Orli, but you couldn't tell me! I thought that the post-elevator us was all about us finally being honest with each other. I should have been there, Ziva. I would have gone with you to all the hospital appointments. I would have been there to help you with the morning sickness. I would have gone out and gotten you falafel or whatever you were craving at 2am."

The guilt was rising in her now; Ziva could feel herself turning bright red with embarrassment; she looked back down at her clasped hands. The silence carried on between them, returning to the room yet again until Tony thought of something else that he needed to know.

"Did Adam know?"

Ziva's head quickly darted back up to face him. "What?!"

"Well, he told us he'd last seen you about a year ago. So much for letting go of old ties by the way. Did he know about Tali? That I was her father?"

Shaking her head, Ziva calmly replied. "No, he did not."

"Oh, no you're right. It would have been better actually that he didn't know. I wonder how he would have felt knowing that we'd had a child together. Would he still have been interested in you?"

The anger had returned now. "Excuse me?! How dare you! Despite what happened after my father's funeral, I have no interest in Adam whatsoever. And the reason why he doesn't know about Tali is because it was none of his business! There are only four people in Israel who know about Tali: Orli, Nettie, Shmeil and Nettie's friend who is a doctor. She was not hidden because I am ashamed of her OR you, but it was to keep her safe! So no one could use her to get to us."

"US! You keep talking about "us", but you seem to have made most of these decisions for us! I have just as much right to be in her life as you do. You had no right to keep her away from me! Did you even think about how I would feel about this?"

"Of course I did! Can't you see that? I did this to protect you, Tony. Both of you."

"Yeah, some protection you gave us. So it was better that our 2-year-old daughter was left to believe that her mother was dead? Huh! It was better that the only things she had to remember you by were your scarf, our Paris photo and your old necklace that she hasn't taken off since she first put it on a week ago? I saw your reaction, Ziva. You struggled to get through a week without Tali in your life. Imagine if someone had kept her away from you for 2 years? How would you feel if _I_ had kept her away from you?"

Not even wanting to consider that for a moment, Ziva brought her hands up to cover her face, trying to hide the streams of tears which were now quickly flowing from her eyes. She turned around now so that she was facing the door, the easy escape route from this conversation and situation. Ziva took a few steps towards the door, needing to calm down. She used her steps to try to calm her breathing. Regaining herself a bit, she turned back around to face Tony, the tear tracks still present on her face.

"You weren't supposed to come after me again! I sent Tali to you to keep her safe, now both of you are in danger yet again!"

"What and this is MY fault, cos I brought her here? Are you seriously blaming me for this?"

"No, this is my fault! It is my past, my actions that put you all in danger time and time again. Why do you think I left 3 years ago? I was fed up of my family being hurt because of me. You all got hurt because of my past with Ari, my father, Rivkin, Bodnar, me! I cannot change who I was, who I am, what I have done. It was better for everyone that I kept myself away from all of you. It was better that you all thought that I was dead, so that you could all be safe from me for once!"

"Oh really? How was this situation fair on Tali? On Nettie? On Gibbs? On my father? On me? You really think that any of us were okay with your death? Hell, Ziva, Kort is dead now because we all assumed that he killed you! I know that he got what was coming to him, but still! You didn't see Tali this past week, crying out for you, waking up from nightmares! You didn't see your aunt's expression when we stayed with her; the pain on her face that she'd lost her niece. You didn't see how McGee, Abby and my father broke down in my house while trying to console me. How Vance broke down in the bullpen trying to tell the team. How I broke down and screamed at Gibbs in the bullpen. You tell me now that it was better for us!"

From the mention of Tali's nightmare, Ziva's face crumpled even more. _Oh Tali, my baby. I'm so sorry, I didn't want you to get hurt because of me._ Ziva chocked on sobs as she began to speak again. "I never wanted this! I never wanted you to get tied in with me again. I am poison. I wanted all of you safe and away from me. I did not think that you would all react that way. I did not want to pretend to be dead, but I knew that if I was still alive, Kort would keep coming after me. And then he would target you and Tali to get to me! If I was dead, he would move on and leave you both alone."

"And yet for two years you kept Tali with you? If you're so bad to be around, why did you keep our daughter with you?" Ziva didn't know how to respond to that. _Why did I not think of that? Was I really putting Tali in danger keeping her with me?_

"Exactly. Come on Ziva, haven't you figured it out yet? The whole world does not revolve around you! You are not responsible for every death and every bad thing that happens! You are not the only person who has had their past come back to haunt them. Look at Gibbs. Pedro Hernandez. When Ducky was accused of war crimes. Jeanne Benoit. We all have skeletons in the closet. We may not have seen or even heard from you in 3 years, but you're still family. We may not have agreed with your choice to stay in Israel or how you went about it, but we respected your decision nonetheless. We all knew you'd been through a lot in your life and that you needed a fresh start away from the gun and the badge. But we would have been there in a heartbeat if you'd asked. But I guess you didn't feel the same about us. Did you really make a clean break? Did you even bother to find out about what was happening with us? Or was it easier if you buried your head and pretended that none of us even existed? I mean that approach sure as hell worked for some people!" Ziva looked confused at that, but Tony wasn't about to go into that now. This wasn't about how the team had reacted to Ziva leaving, that could be dealt with later.

"Did you know that Gibbs' dad died nearly 2 years ago? Or that Gibbs was shot by a kid and had to undergo surgery? Or that Delilah, you remember, McGee's girlfriend, was left paralysed by a drone strike? Or that Diane, you know, the woman who married both Gibbs and Fornell, died after she took a bullet to the head while on a rooftop, just like Kate? And that the culprit we have to thank for that was none other than Ari's old pal, Sergei Mishnev **?"**

Ziva couldn't believe what she was hearing. _Did I really miss that much? What… how could these things have happened? How could I not know? Wait a minute – Sergei?! I knew that he was causing trouble, but why go after Diane… Gibbs! Sergei must have still thought that he killed Ari! Diane is dead because of me!_ She stumbled backwards and sat back down on the sofa, placing her hands at her sides, staring at the wall in front of her in shock. Her eyes closed tight shut, her breathing quickened and she gripped onto the seat to calm down a little. _Why can my past not just leave everyone alone!_

Tony looked a bit confused and taken aback by her actions. Had she really not known? "You didn't know? You never asked about us? Never heard anything on the news; in the market; from Orli?"

With a slightly shocked expression on her face, Ziva turned her gaze back to Tony. "I did. And I knew about some things. I thought that I knew what you were doing, how you were doing. I knew about your girlfriend, Zoe? I knew that McGee was still with Delilah but not that she had been paralysed. I knew that Jimmy and Breena had a baby girl, Victoria, named after Ducky's mother. I asked Orli. She would give me an update during our weekly talks. But it appears that she failed to mention some things…" Ziva drifted off and Tony could see her anger.

"Yeah, that must be pretty irritating, huh? People hiding things from you?!" Ziva winced again. She should have seen that coming. Karma had come around to bite her. And once again, the creepy silence had returned to the room. That was getting annoying now.

"Within 24 hours, you were dead and I'd gained Tali. Do you have any idea what it was like, thinking that you were dead? That's the second time that's happened now Ziva! First Somalia, then this. This better not happen again, I can't take anymore of thinking that you're dead. You don't know what that's like – "

"What?! Okay then, what about when your car was blown up? Me and Tim and Gibbs and Jenny had to watch YOUR car explode into a ball of flames in MTAC! And then we had to go to the sight and see what could have been your remains in the car! Ducky almost had to autopsy you! And all that time, I'd known that you were in trouble. I had this bad feeling that you were in danger and I'd never got to tell you that I…" Ziva trailed off their, catching herself. _Not now, it's not the right time to tell him. There's no way he feels the same after everything that has happened._ "Now you tell me that I don't know what that's like!" At that, Tony rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand. _Okay, maybe she does know. But I'm fed up of losing her like that._

However, that memory made Ziva remember one thing. "What about NCIS? Your job?"

Tony looked back at her sharply, a bit surprised at that question. He certainly hadn't expected her to ask that in this conversation. Shaking his head at her, he answered. "That really doesn't matter right now."

"No, Tony. It does matter. What are you going to do about work?"

"I quit."

BAM. She was shocked. Ziva couldn't believe it. Her mouth fell wide open in disbelief. "You… you did what?!"

"I quit."

Ziva dropped her head into her hands. _How could he do that? How could he give up his life like that?_ "You see; this is exactly why I did not tell you."

 _Are you kidding me?!_ Tony looked at Ziva like she was insane, craning his neck forward. _What did she just say?_ "Excuse me?"

Standing back up again now, Ziva placed herself so that she and Tony were practically face-to-face. "I knew that if I told you that I was pregnant, if I'd have told you about Tali then you would have dropped everything and got on the next flight back to Israel. I knew that you would have wanted to be involved in our daughter's life, no matter what. But that would have torn you away from your life: your family, the team, NCIS. I was not going to be the one to make you give all of that up."

"That wasn't your decision to make! I'm a big boy, I can choose for myself thank you very much!"

"I wasn't trying to choose for you! That wasn't what this was about! I wanted you to live your own life, instead of being tied down. I was always going to tell you about Tali and she's always known about you."

"And that's supposed to make everything better now, is it?"

But before Ziva could reply, a noise echoed through the apartment. A small whimper came from inside the bedroom. Tony and Ziva turned their heads around to face the direction of the sound. The silence returned again, but this time the awkwardness was gone. That had now been replaced with concern and worry. The whimpering came back again now, growing in volume. They could now hear the sounds of their little girl crying in her sleep, calling out now. "Ima… Ima… Abba…"

Ziva and Tony instantly rushed to her aid, leaving their argument and differences behind for the moment. Their daughter was in distress and she was so much more important to both of them.

Quickly moving through the master bedroom to reach the second bedroom, the pair stopped suddenly at the doorway, looking at their little girl lying in her bed. Tali had wrapped herself up tightly in the bedsheets, tossing and turning in her fitful sleep while bunching the covers up within her small hands.

Not wanting this to go on any longer, Ziva snapped out of her stupor and moved across the bedroom to reach her little girl. She crouched down beside the bed and gently began to try to coax her daughter awake, stroking her arm softly. "Tali… Tali…"

"IMA!" Tali sat straight upright, beads of sweat trickling down her face. At her sudden movement, Tony and Ziva both jumped back in shock, but soon recovered and focused on their little girl. She was breathing heavily, still shaking off the ghosts of her nightmare. After searching madly around the room with her eyes, Tali came to locate her Abba standing by the door and her Ima who was kneeling down next to her. "IMA!" Tali instantly launched herself into Ziva's embrace, clinging tightly as if afraid that her mother would disappear from her sight again. Still shaken up from her nightmare, in which her mother and father had been ripped away from her and she had been left all alone, Tali burst into a fit of tears and cried out.

Ziva's heart plummeted into her stomach. She'd never wanted this to happen. She wanted to protect Tali at all costs but she could see clearly that her daughter had been hurt by her anyway. There was only one thing that could calm Tali done and try to coax her into sleeping. It had certainly worked when she had begun teething and it was certainly worth a shot now. So Ziva opened her mouth and began to sing their favourite lullaby ( **A/N: I recommend that you listen to the** **'** **Bo'i ima** **' lullaby as you read or before or after you read the lyrics** ):

 **Kol ha'or mizman halach lo** (All light has gone away)

 **Al telchi pit'om gam at** (Don't you leave me, too)

 **Bo'i ima, bo'i ima** (Come, mommy... come, mommy)

 **bo'i shvi iti me'at** (Come and sit with me for a while)

 **Ba'etzim makeh haru'ach** (The wind strikes the trees)

 **veyadaich ko chamot** (But your hands are so warm)

 **Al telchi! sapri li, ima** (Please don't leave! tell me, mommy)

 **eich ba'im hachalomot?** (how do dreams come to us?)

 **Im pit'om mal'ach yofi'a** (If an angel will suddenly appear)

 **el chadri yavo bil'at** (to my room will enter quietly)

 **Bo'i ima, bo'i ima** (come, mommy... come, mommy)

 **vetir'i oto gam at** (come and see it, too)

 **Lo, eini poched bachoshech** (No, I'm not scared of the dark)

 **ve'eini ro'ed bich'lal** (I'm not at all shivering)

 **Bo'i ima, bo'i ima** (Come, mommy... come, mommy)

 **shvi iti ad she'egdal** (sit with me till I grow up)

 **Bo'i ima, bo'i ima** (come, mommy... come, mommy)

 **shvi iti ad she'egdal** (sit with me till I grow up)

By the end of the lullaby, Tali had fallen asleep against her in her mother's arms. Ziva realised that she could no longer hear her daughter's cries and looked down to see the now much more peaceful expression that she currently held on her face in her sleep, which was also marred with the tear tracks that were beginning to dry against her skin. Ziva began to stroke Tali's cheek softly to clear away the remains of her tears while she brushed some of the little curls out of her face with her other hand. All the while, she could begin to feel her own body shake. _Tony was right about her having nightmares. I never want to see that ever again. That pain._

In the end, the overwhelming guilt and the emotional pain just became too much and Ziva burst into sobs. The dam had been broken now and she was an absolute state at the moment. While she'd tried so hard to protect Tali, she'd still ended up hurting her little girl, their little girl. Once again, someone that she cared about and loved had been hurt because of her. _The ones who get too close always get hurt._ She felt like a failure as a mother.

Needing the reassuring comfort of her daughter and to feel her close beside her, Ziva shifted them both so that she could lay down beside Tali and wrap her up into her arms. Her body continued to be wracked with sobs as she stroked her daughter's short curls. Ziva began to murmur inconsolably to the young girl in her arms. "Tali, Ani kol kach mitzta'eret Ktana Sheli. Hit'gaa'gati elayich kol-kach. Le'olam lo e'ezov otach shuv." She kept repeating these phrases over and over again, as if she needed to not only reassure Tali, but also herself. "Af pa'am lo ratziti lifgo'a bach."

From the doorway, Tony watched as Ziva cried herself to sleep while hugging their daughter close. While he was still extremely angry with her, he couldn't help but feel chocked up by the scene in front of him. Tony saw then that Ziva truly had wanted to keep Tali safe and that she hadn't meant to hurt her in all of this. Slowly, he closed the door so that neither would be woken up from the noise and made his way over to the bed in the master bedroom. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to sleep much tonight…

* * *

 **A/N: Woah…so…yeah. I guess Tony had a lot to say. Ahh, I really hope that this was alright. We should see some flashbacks of the last 3 years coming up soon and hopefully get some more answers. Thank you so much for reading, you amazing people! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed!**

 **Translations:**

 **Ktana Sheli: My little one**

 **Hit'gaa'gati elayich kol-kach: I missed you so much**

 **Le'olam lo e'ezov otach shuv: I will never let you go again**

 **Ani kol kach mitzta'eret: I am so sorry.**

 **Af pa'am lo ratziti lifgo'a bach: I never wanted to hurt you.**

 **Chickie10016: Thank you so much for your reviews! That's alright, don't be sorry :D Don't worry, I've posted guest reviews before and they haven't appeared or not gone up straight away, I dunno! Thank you for your lovely comments, I really hope that I can make this story a good read (think the fans of Tony and Ziva deserve it after all these years!). Wow! Thank you! Yes, I am just totally humbled and so surprised at the response that this story has had. It's so strange and hard to explain. Both as a writer and as a teacher, I want to be an inspiration but I don't think of myself as one, if that even makes sense? Definitely the best thing about FF writing for me is getting to share my love of the Tony and Ziva characters and getting to engage with such awesome people such as yourself. And getting to work with other FF writers :) Thank you so much! You're right, this defo feels like the hardest part but I really hope that this does feel authentic. Yeah, as much as I want and love Tiva, I can't see Tony forgiving Ziva straight away so it would feel weird to write lots of sweet scenes for them atm. Wow, thank you! I love, read and respond to every comment. You guys give amazing advice, encouragement and much needed self-belief (it's very up and down for me right now). I would love to inspire you guys but you guys all really inspire me. I am proud and amazed by your responses. Haha yeah writing does take up time, but it's keeping me busy which is very good. It's also helping me to see that I can be creative. But the biggest reward is getting to engage with all of you. You give up your time to read this story and talk to me, and while that may not seem like much, it's priceless to me. Thank you :)**

 **Debbie: Thank you so much for your review! Hehe oh yeah, there had to be some Tiva tension ;) Thank you so much, it's certainly a weird situation, I'm relieved that the emotions came across okay! Thank you I'm so glad that you liked the last line, it just felt like a good place to finish. I can just imagine the 'Poof', then adverts if this story was an actual ep! :)**

 **Guest (Rule 51…): Thank you so much for your review! Yes I can definitely see Rule 51 making quite a few appearances… :D**

 **Guest (Nah, Ziva never re-joined Mossad): Thank you so much for your review! Yeah I didn't think so. That would have been very interesting indeed. Ahh, yeah maybe she was; probably Orli and Nettie were emergency contacts as they needed to be people close to her who knew about Tali :)**

 **Guest (You accidentally italicized…): Thank you so much for your review! *Gibbs-head-smacks-self*. Oh dear, I knew that I would make an italics mistake somewhere in that chapter! was being temperamental on the day that I uploaded so I had to upload the text and then re-edit everything in italics, bold and underline. Sorry about that. Thank you for spotting that error, at least one of us was paying attention! It's now been edited, thank you :D**

 **Guest (Some Possible Tony/Ziva Argument Topics): Thank you so much for your review! 1. Oh yes, Ziva blames herself a lot about how it's her fault and her past that puts her family and friends in danger. That started after Somalia. She needs to see that she can't change the past, but she can and does deserve to be happy. While it's likely that she will face her past again in the near and distant future, she can't be responsible for the actions of others. Besides, we've seen the Pedro Hernandez case appear time and time again; we've seen Tony's past actions; Ducky's. It just comes with the job sometimes.**

 **2\. The maternal instinct will be for Ziva to protect Tali above anything. I love what you said about Tony arguing that she can't be a one-woman army! As Tony has said, Tali is THEIR daughter and they will have a better chance if they protect her together. After all, they are a great team :) 3. You were right! Tony mentioned here that Ziva's "death" destroyed him. This will also come up again in the next few chapter where they have some more calm discussions. And the BYD ep will certainly reappear soon as well… 4. Yes, exactly! I think that Ziva was starting to see the flaws in raising Tali alone, but she felt like it was best for Tony and Tali. Tony rightly feels that he should have had a say. Yeah, Ziva needed to hear that Tali could have been without a mum and she will feel so guilty as she only wanted to protect her.**

 **5\. Oh yeah, again his resignation will also be talked about again, more calmly next time :D They will both argue their cases strongly. 6. Yes, Ziva defo feels like they are at risk because of her. Yeah the I Will lists will be discussed soon… :)**

 **Sara: Hello there! Thank you so much for your review! Hehe I'm so glad that you're enjoying this FF, I hope that this chapter and the rest of the story are also okay :D**

 **Guest (If Deena becomes a villain…): Thank you so much for your review! Yeah Deena will make Ziva her main target, I'm not sure what she would do about Tali? I'm a bit worried really! She hasn't let her anger go. I agree, she would tell Tony to stay out of it, but with his protective nature, I don't think he would want Ziva or Tali hurt. As you said, it's his family, his business! :)**

 **Guest (From the moment…): Thank you so much for your review! Ahh that line about her not believing in happy endings! Wanted to shake her and say "but you deserve a happy ending!". Yeah we knew she was in trouble but I didn't see that coming! Can't say I blame CdP! Yes, hopefully Tony will show her that she can be happy :)**

 **Guest (I agree that we must…): Thank you so much for your review! I want to start flashbacks to what happened for Ziva over the last 3 years very soon. We need to see the story from her POV. Yeah, I would like to see some of her meetings with Orli and Nettie. I am just working out how to work Shmeil into this. Yes, I think that Orli will have been selective over what she has told Ziva… but I'd like to see some convos where she shared some info! Yes Ziva must have felt so many emotions when she found out she was pregnant (we will cover that!). I think that she will feel very guilty about what has happened while she was away. She must have felt so torn about sending Tali away and angry at Kort coming back to hurt her and her family. :)**

 **Guest (Go ahead with the chapter title ideas): Thank you so much for your review! I like the chapter title names :D I like the whole Past is Prologue and one chapter for each of the 3 years I may have to come back to that (very soon)! :)**

 **Guest (One of the funny moments): Thank you so much for your review! Hehe I would love to see Tali try to pronounce DiNozzo and say DiGiorno (I've never heard of that!). Think he would be so proud of her hehe :D 2. *Gibbs-slaps-self-again*! And this is why you check before you post haha, the name should now be correct in all chapters, thank you :)**

 **Guest (My mistake and I was mistaken): Thank you so much for your reviews! Yeah both Jenny and Ducky said she was 8 so I'm guessing she was born 1983? Maybe it was a continuity error? I think she would get on well with Abby. I'd like to think her and Ziva would connect. I'd love to see Ducky psychoanalyse her!**

 **Guest (Lines I would like to see translated): Thank you so much for your review! I really love those lines, I'd love to use those in later chapters, think they'd fit really well :)**

 **Guest (Huh, it seems my outline suggestions to you got cut off somehow): Hi again! Don't worry I think there is a limit on FF! 7. Kelly would definitely be an interesting plot. Think it would be nice but weird for her to see how Gibbs is with the team. Ooh Maddie meeting Kelly again would be so interesting! Yeah I think Kelly would tell Gibbs if she had to save someone. 8. Yeah I can see Gibbs being like Papa bear and Kelly wanting to be treated like a grown up. Maybe she could renew her vows with Gibbs there this time? :)**

 **Guest (Connie Fletcher would actually be a good adult Kelly Gibbs): Thank you so much for your review! Yes! I Googled her and she really does! She could scarily be their child! And she's like the same age, perfect :)**

 **Guest (I bet when Ziva told Tali bed-time stories): Thank you so much for your review! Aww that would be so cute! Tony would be a great knight. I can imagine that Ziva read The Little Prince as well. 2. Yeah that would have been cute! I'll admit I struggled with the speech for the end of that chapter a bit :) 3. Aww Shmeil! He's very important. Ahh don't worry I left him out of earlier chapters intentionally. I just wanted to focus on Nettie, Tali, Tony and Orli. I know Tony said in S10 that Shmeil was starting  
to show his age. He may not have wanted to stress him out (I dunno I'm still working it out!). He will be talked about soon though. **

**4\. Hehe thank you! I can't see that happening but we can wish (gotta love that FF exists!). I'm planning to make this story maybe 20 chapters, I have no idea! I've got ideas for at least 5 more chapters. Thank you for your kind words! I'm really trying to do this justice and keep them in character. I want this to be an almost extension of the show where fans finally get a resolution. 5. I know! I would love to have seen Nettie on the show! I'm totally drawing a blank on who could play her and so is Lipush! I'd love to hear what anyone who is reading this thinks. 6. Yes! Thank you haha I'm so paranoid I've got like 3 spare copies of each chapter just in case. I'm so clumsy so I'm likely to break or lose something! :)**

 **Guest (We've had Ziva-isms): Thank you so much for your review! Tali-isms! Cutest thing I've ever heard! 2. Yeah Orli mentioned that they reconciled. I think that they may have been getting there, and Ziva may have started to understand Orli's story. 3. I'm thinking that the threat could be someone that Ziva may know but someone that we haven't met yet? It's a work in progress! 4. Oh dear it is like Rivkin again! When will they learn :)**

 **Guest (When Vance told the team): Thank you so much for your review! That's interesting, that could be another good one-shot. What if Vance had shared good news? Or news of Ziva in a hospital? 2. I know right! They may not have seen Ziva in 3 years but she meant a lot to them! The reactions were off, especially Gibbs! They just moved on so quickly! 3. That scene when Gibbs did that for Langer was very appropriate and fitting. Ziva should have been up there. Am I right in thinking that Franks was missing from that board? 4. Gibbs was very insistent, maybe too insistent? Maybe his gut was telling him she was alive but he didn't want to give Tony false hope? Or he knew something? 5. And THAT is what makes the fans TRUE NCIS agents! TRUE! The fans are amazing at picking things up. And we picked up that somethings were just off :)**

 **Guest (If the team DOES somehow get informed): Thank you so much for your review! I'm toying around with how to deal with that, but the picture idea is genius! It's SO what Tiva would do, they love a good picture clue ;) Thank you for sharing what you think about Tali's name, I think I may have an idea… 3. Yeah NCIS could do with more females. Ooh Gina Carano could defo take that role on. Apart from Jenny, we don't see many females in leadership roles.**

 **Guest (Chapter 10: A Very Awkward Family Dinner): Thank you so much for your review! Hehe, oh yes it was indeed :D**

 **Guest (In order to make Tony understand): Thank you so much for your review! Yes we will be seeing a fair few flashbacks in the near future. Yes, we need to see Ziva's story. Rule #40, ooh! 2. Hehe don't worry, I think that Deena could be working her way into this FF…!** **HeheHheheh sjjjjj** **3\. Tali the mini-ninja! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles anyone?! I can imagine McGee or Abby introducing her to Anime and Manga! 4. I would have loved to have seen Rivka. Ooh, now Damon would have really annoyed Tony if he'd come back! 5. No you're right, Tony's still trying to wrap his head around everything. I hope that you liked the lullaby she sang to Tali, I knew when I started this FF that I wanted to write this scene! 6. Aww that would be just too cute! 7. Oh yeah I would say that Ziva was upset! They'll get into that more soon… 8. Wow! Thank you so much! I really do hope that this story is realistic. I dunno if I'm good enough to write for a TV programme, think I'd annoy them for taking ages to write! But thank you, that truly means so much :) I hope that this chapter was long enough :D**

 **Guest (Important Message to Author): Wow, you've got tons of ideas! I've saved your outlines on my computer :)**

 **NCIS time-travel story: I can just imagine how the team would have reacted. It would be interesting to see how Ziva would have found out. It's nice to think that he would have been granted one last request (and now I'm singing Paolo Nutini!). Oh yeah we can't forget Fornell! That makes sense about Victoria and Tali; I would defo keep their names for the children born sooner. Haha oh yeah only Tony would time-travel and complain about the lack of HD TV's! I like the whole thing about each person thinking it's just them who travelled in time. It would be interesting if by preventing or altering events, do the team force a different, more deadly situation to occur? Like if Tony's old cop partner Danny wasn't killed, would someone else known by a member of the team take their place? Yeah I think they would need contingency plans! I'd like to see that talk between Jenny and Gibbs. I know Jenny's illness couldn't have been avoided. Would their NCIS cases be solved much quicker then?**

 **Outline for the Kelly Gibbs return story: Wow, that 1** **st** **point gave me the creeps! They must have been so scared. This NIS director has a lot to answer for! I think was there an ep called Model Behaviour? About the supermodels. That's where Gibbs was shown on TV. It's a good way to start the memories returning. I love that she would marry a man who would serve his country and naming their daughter after Maddie. Hehe "Don't mess with mess, young lady!", a great line. Yeah it would take an event as big as the NCIS building explosion to bring back the memories. It would be interesting to see her watch Gibbs from the sidelines, knowing who he is, and how he acts around his co-workers who become his adopted family. :)**

 **Guest (Is the Hebrew word for mother): Thank you so much for your review! Don't worry, I have consulted Lipush and asked her for her expertise. She said that the correct spellings are Ima and Abba :)**

 **Guest (I'm sure that the author): Thank you so much for your review! Ahh I'm so sorry that this took forever to be uploaded, I really hope that this chapter was written okay and that it was worth the wait? I'm not sure if many things were answered in this chapter, but I want to answer more things soon, hopefully from the next chapter :)**

 **Kel: Thank you so much for your review! I'm really glad that you're enjoying this FF, I hope that you like what is gonna happen :)**

 **Stella: Thank you so much for all 3 of your reviews! OMG long time no speak I'm so sorry! I'm doing alright thank you, sorry this week has been manic and this chapter took forever to write haha! Thank you so much sweetie I hope that you are doing well, ugh you know me too well! I had a major block when I started this chapter, I had to look up some scripts of old eps for some flashback lines. Thank you so much for your lovely messages, you defo helped a lot! "TEAM ZIVA IS NOT DEAD" hehe. I'm so sorry about yet another cliff-hanger, for some reason they're fun to write but so annoying to read! Aww no don't worry about it, there's nothing to forgive :D Thank you so much for your super lovely comments and for being a super person :)**

 **Sue Dooley: Thank you so much for your review! Tiva forever. Oh yes, the whole Zoe situation will need to be discussed soon. I know that Ziva told him to move on, but Zoe was just not right for him. It was so awkward to watch them together. Just no! Haha, yeah S11 Ep2 was pretty interesting to say the least, it was just so weird that after all that time, Ziva started to feel guilty about Ari then. Because of Deena? I just don't about that. I agree with you :)**


	12. Chapter 12: The First Step - Contrition

**So… umm… hello there!** **I'm so sorry that this has taken way too long to write and upload! I recently had a teaching job offer so I've been at work and then on courses! Cannot wait to decorate my room and meet my class ahh!** **Thank you all so much for the huge amount of support you have given, it really means the world to me** **:) Can I say a huge thank you to Nena Karnf who shared my story on Twitter and within her own fanfics (which are seriously amazing btw!). Two fanfics about very tough topics, one looking into Somalia (during and after), the other looks at something going on for Ziva behind closed doors. She is also currently in Africa doing some amazing charity work. Thank you, I truly appreciate it! Can I also say, it's been a huge pleasure and privilege to be able to talk to you guys via comments and PM's! That literally makes my day! :)**

 **As per a guest request, welcome to the first chapter of the 'Past Is Prologue' section of Part 2. Huge shout-out to this guest, I really love your idea! This will be 4 chapters long and will cover points discussed in the previous chapter and what happened over the last 3 years for Tony and Ziva. I'm so excited to write these and have a ton of ideas. If you guys can think of anything you want me to add, please feel free to let me know! Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Please see the end of this chapter for additional thanks and replies to guests :)** **Translation: Ktana motek: My little darling**

 **Thank you to everyone who is following this story: 1994omi, 19Jessica98, 4susan41, 82kt, agirlwithasmile, ambermichele, angry penguin, anniemous27, arcadia1328, Athenalarissa, Atlante41, Aubrey Etta, bartiks97, beckums8685, Biah Ara, BlackWidowAndCapRule, BleachedAmerican, bobisbusy, BooksDon'tJustTellStories, Breanamo, Brightlight94, bryz9394, bunnykoko, canaussie, cheakyhappysmiles, CheriLane, cindy Seidenberg, countrygal64, Craquotte123, csanders724, Custos Luna, deOliCa, DetectiveInspectorSydney, dianaanne, dreams and desperation, DS2010, Ebony10, egal77, Ella Kelly, Elroon, EowynGoldberry, , Fahrenhheit, fireandice1986, Gaialy, gallieni, Gehrl, georginiuxa, gibsonmarianne, giggles11228, Grey4019, Hales23, HarrylovesGinny09, heathergsu02, hejo.12, , HK Target Shooter, HoldxOn, Hollywoodlove09, hopalong123546, hslacer, IBelieveinPink87, Iluvgleetwilightthg, Ittybittyalissa, IwantmyveryownBooth, James the vet, JdnHwke169, jejouelaflute, jenny1221, jgibbs7, Josette1807, kakus5, KariNCIS, ke31288, Kerrald x, kfink77, Kim69etv, kimjeonguk96, KING P.E.K.K.A, KingsFan20, kissedyouwithfire, klutzysunshine, krazymelmo5385, Krazzy Kezz, kurrumu, Laurenmk20, libs1709, Licara, Lipush, littlecook28, liverpoolss, love is only a dream, love2read20, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, LyanaDavid, MaileS, malec4eva, mama's-broken-heart, MariangelC, Miluca, minihannibal65, Miss-Anarchy-Mayhem, MM NCIS, Mockingprettygirls, moviesmadewithlove, Mrs. Fitzgerald, natalieee28, nattlouu, ncisaddiction, ncisgirl18, ncisgirl2486, ncistiva8, Nena Karnf, NightKing56, Ninja639, os8245, over a cliff'-'all in, Pheonix1995, Pickles and Pigtails, pixie79, priscious, QueenAmbrose, Rach4, Rikusprincess30, runner229, rybka2302, SarahMae93, sbfisher, scarredlove, sentarstage, seriously56, shoppingnull, sjg563517, SJlove07, smkdolphin94, sonckad, SookieEricObsessed, Spiritcatt, SUZITROUBLE, sydchilton, tammy henson, tazmania081005, tere55, tiffanynloud, .3, Tiva-Forever-08, TivaCallensi4ever, Tiva equals Mr. and Mrs. Smith, tivawaigequintis, , tommoissexy15, Troyella-Tiva 4ever, True Blue Pretender, tvdvlugt, TZDDN, UndeadOctopus, VivianaLockhart, Wiggle34, writeinspiredraw and XXbestfriend1XX.**

 **Thank you to everyone who favourited:** **agirlwithasmile, ambermichele, Anniefynn, BlackWidowAndCapRule, booklover321, BooksDon'tJustTellStories, brittanarules1, Bunnykoko, cindy Seidenberg, Cosmos89, Craquotte123, DetectiveInspectorSydney, doggy bye, Ebony Ater, EllieBer, emeraldcello, Eragonronon, , fireandice1986, gallieni, Gehrl, georginiuxa, gibsonmarianne, Grey4019, HarrylovesGinny09, HelzLckyAngl, Hiphuggers2, hlaughlin93, hopalong123546, James the vet, JessChen, jgibbs7, kakus5, KB96, Kerrald x, Kim69etv, kimjeonguk96, KING P.E.K.K.A, Krazzy Kezz, kurrumu, libs1709, Licaro, liverpoolss, lostie21, love is only a dream, love2read20, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, MariangelC, melitami, minihannibal65, missy841, Mlb080915, MM NCIS, Mockingprettygirls, MyMindJJ, natalieee28, nattlouu, navalhut, ncisaddiction, ncisandsvuaddict, Nena Karnf, NightKing56, Ninja639, os8245, RAD092515, Rasulow, SarahMae93, sassybee, seriously56, smkdolphin94, srshibaharah, tammy henson, tazmania081005, .161, tiffanynloud, Tiva equals Mr. and Mrs. Smith, TivaILY, tivawaigequintis, , tommoissexy15, Troyella-Tiva 4ever, Wiggle34, writeinspiredraw and zivadavid03.**

* * *

 **Thursday 26th May 2016, Parisian Apartment, France, 8am**

Silence.

That was a complete juxtaposition to the previous evening. The tense, angry atmosphere filled with shouted accusations and screaming wails from horrific nightmares had been replaced by a much calmer atmosphere. The windows were still open from the previous day and so the gentle wind cascaded into the quaint Parisian apartment, causing the curtains to flow in the breeze. The sounds of gentle breathing were all that could be heard from the bedrooms within the building. Was this to mark the quiet before a second storm?

Tony lay on his back on the king-sized bed in the master bedroom, staring up at the ceiling. Holding his hands across his chest, gently grasping them together, his mind was still buzzing from the events of the past 24 hours. From the events of the past week. He'd hardly slept at all as all he could think about was his own words from last night. And Ziva's replies were also on a continuous loop in his mind. Tony felt like a lot of weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. But while he had let go of all lot of his anger last night, he still had lots of questions that needed answering. Tony had found out more answers than he'd expected to last night, even with all of the arguing, but there was still so much that remained a mystery. Why Orli had kept things from Ziva? What had happened over the last three years? As much as he was starting to understand Ziva's side of the story, he still felt a whole lot of anger and resentment. She still had no right, none whatsoever to keep Tali hidden away from him. He was a father and he deserved to be a part of her life. And while Tony was now completely 100% invested in his daughter's life, he'd missed out on nearly two crucial years.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore: just sitting there with his mind whizzing. Tony had to get up and do something. Anything. It didn't matter what right now. Forcing himself upright, he dangled his feet off the edge of the bed and made his way to stand up, stretching out all of his sore muscles. Tony thought about making his way to the kitchen straight away, but his curiosity got the better of him and lead him in another direction.

Poking his head around the second bedroom door, Tony made his way further into the room and saw that both Ziva and Tali were still fast asleep, curled up against each other. Ziva was still in the same position as she had been before, lying on her right side with her left arm curled around their daughter. Tali however, had rolled over in her sleep so that she was now facing her mom and had snuggled further into her. _God, they look so much alike, with their gorgeous hair curling around their faces._ It was one of the rare times that Tony had seen Tali sleep peacefully over the last week and from the dark bags underneath Ziva's eyes, he could guess that she had not been sleeping well either. Had any of them?

Thankfully, Tali had not awoken again after her nightmare and had slept all through the night. Likewise, Ziva hadn't woken up from a nightmare at all. They had seemed to comfort each other and their presence calmed the other down. He knew that they had something to do with Ziva not being there; thinking she was dead; maybe she was worried about losing him too? How could they find out what was troubling the toddler? He would need to talk to Ziva further about Tali's nightmares…

Not wanting to disturb the pair further, Tony turned around and attempted to leave the room. He quietly pulled the door open, trying not to make a sound and alert the girls of his presence in the room. However, it was becoming even more clear that Tali had inherited her Ima's ninja senses and her head quickly whipped up towards the door. Busted.

"Abba?" She called out quietly while beginning to rub the sleep out of her eyes. That sight alone melted his heart and Tony fell in love with her even more, if that was at all possible.

"Good morning Tali!" he whispered but with a huge smile appearing on his face. This little girl certainly knew how to brighten up his day.

"Abba!" Tali exclaimed, with the volume of her voice increasing by a considerable amount, causing her father to wince slightly at the sudden change. Ziva, who was still sleeping soundly, shifted slightly next to Tali and snuggled further into the covers.

"Shh, Ktana motek, your Ima's sleeping." Tony replied softly while he stroked her messy bed-head curls. _Just like her mother._

"Ima?" Tali turned herself so that she was now sitting cross-legged while facing her mother. Ziva was currently laying on her side all curled up, peacefully breathing in and out. This was certainly one of the most peaceful expressions that Tony had ever seen on her face, something which he imagined wouldn't have been there recently. None of them had been sleeping well over the past few weeks. "Ima!" she cried out quietly this time. Tali gave her mom a bear-hug of a cuddle and then proceeded to try to shake her awake, only not very gently. Again, Ziva tried to bury herself further into the covers and let out a small moan, clearly not ready to wake up and leave the bed just yet. However, this was evidently leaving Tali feeling most unimpressed as she wanted her mother's attention and so she began to pout her lip.

 _God she's as stubborn as her mother!_ Wanting Ziva to sleep some more and also diffuse the situation before Tali threw a tantrum, Tony quickly intervened. He crouched down beside the bed and began to rub his hand up and down Tali's back. This instantly comforted her and caused the toddler to turn so that she was now facing him.

"Come, let's leave Ima to sleep a little longer. Besides, you must be getting hungry. Is it breakfast time?" Tony very gently tickled her tummy, causing Tali to giggle and start to clap her hands together. The sound of his daughter's happiness was music to his ears: that was definitely his favourite sound in the whole wide world, making him want to be able to listen to this beautiful music forever.

Laughing quietly, Tony carefully extracted Tali from the bed, picked her up and quietly carried her out of the bedroom and made his way to the kitchen. Placing her in the high chair, he then started rummaging through the fridge and the cupboards looking for something to make for breakfast for the three of them. It was a good job that Ziva had gone out for groceries, especially now that they needed food for three…

Meanwhile, Ziva started to stir awake, stretching out her tired muscles. Considering the events that had transpired over the last few weeks and the events of the previous evening, she felt surprising refreshed. However, the peace didn't last very long as she quickly noticed that she was asleep in the bed that her daughter had been using last night, except that Tali was no longer there beside her.

"Tali?!" The panic immediately set inside Ziva and she quickly shot out of the bed. "Tali?!" She started desperately searching around the room, under the bed, in the wardrobe, everywhere that she could think. The adrenaline and her maternal side were in full swing now and she could feel tears beginning to spring into her eyes. _My baby, my little girl, where is she? Tali, where could you be?_

Suddenly, the sound of laughter flowed into the room, seemingly alleviating the mood. Ziva spun around to face the bedroom door: she knew that sound anywhere. Not caring that she was still dressed in her clothes from the day before, Ziva followed that beautiful laughter and the smell of something delicious, which led her into the kitchen where she stood at the entrance, just peering in to watch the interactions between the two people within the room.

Tony had clearly cooked up some breakfast for them and had obviously been trying to feed their little girl. However, it appeared that the pair were wearing more of the food than eating it! Tali was in a playful mood this morning: her spirit having being lifted by having both of her parents together. So she had decided to cover Tony's face and hair in scrambled egg, while the high chair was covered in toast crumbs. Tony, deciding to join in the fun, had also ended up covering Tali in jam: all over her face, her hair, her clothes! The mischievous pair just giggled and continued with their food fight, oblivious to the fact that they were being watched.

Ziva stood by the door in shock for a while, simply blinking and observing the mad scene in front of her. _Now this is what family life should look like…_ She sighed and gave a sad smile to the pair before quickly leaving the doorway. However, she returned moments later with her camera, taking a few crafty pictures and a quick video of the father and daughter before her. _They are so much like each other…_

The final click of her camera announced to Tony that she was standing there watching the two of them. "Umm…" Feeling like a naughty kid caught with their hand in the biscuit tin, Tony lifted his hands up and looked guiltily around the room, biting his lip. "I can explain…" he began, but not knowing what to say exactly. The kitchen was now covered in food and was a complete mess.

Tali meanwhile burst out laughing and began happily babbling for her "Ima", reaching out her arms towards her mother. Ziva, who was stood frozen by the door, still holding the camera in her hands, soon joined in with Tali's infectious laughter and soon the girls were giggling and filling the room with this sound. Tony stood there watching the pair, noticing how much they looked alike especially while laughing. Seeing them both smile and giggle without a care in the world… it was such a nice change to see. Soon, Tony couldn't help but join in with the infectious laughter, and the sound very quickly filled the whole apartment…

* * *

Once the kitchen had been cleaned up and the three of them had washed and changed into fresh clothes, Ziva and Tony found themselves seated on the couch within the living room again, just as they had been the previous night. But while much of the anger had dissipated, there was an awkward tension in the air. Tali was laying on the floor in front of them on her back, holding Kelev in one hand and Shimpânza in the other. They were being held up towards the ceiling while the young toddler giggled and happily played out a scene where the two animals were conversing and chasing each other around.

The two adults sat nursing cups of tea and coffee watching their daughter in front of them, hardly believing that all of those years of being colleagues, partners, friends, best friends, friends-wishing-they-could-be-something-more, crushes, finally lovers… all of that had resulted in a child. Their amazing little Tali. But now their relationship was broken and they were back to square one yet again.

Every so often, Ziva would steal a glance over to Tony, who wasn't taking his eyes off of the little girl. She desperately wanted, _needed_ to talk to him, but she just couldn't think of where to start. Come _on, Ziva. He is here. He is the one who came to Paris to find you. Now you need to be brave and take the first step towards redemption. "You must be courageous and learn the truth." Her fathers' words were floating through her head._

"You found me. Again. Just like you always do." She began, speaking softly.

Tony nodded slightly, keeping his eyes still on Tali. "Yep. You didn't want me to find you, and yet I did."

Ziva winced. He was good. Tony had taken her words from three years ago and thrown them right back in her face. _You just had to start with that, didn't you? Seriously, anything else would have been better than saying that!_ _Why did you not –_

– "You told her about me."

Ziva jumped out of her headspace, turning her body to face him. Tony was looking straight at her now. "Huh?"

"Tali. You told her about me. Who her father is."

"Yes, I did. How did you know? For definite?"

Tony smiled a little at her. "Paris. Our photograph."

Ziva looked confused. She knew the photo well, but how did that let Tony know that she'd told Tali about him?

Tony reached over the side of the couch where the go-bag lay on the floor, unzipped the bag and pulled out the framed photograph. He pulled this onto his lap and sat there staring at it for a while, remembering back to that beautiful morning in Paris…

" _Here we go. Hop on. I'm getting pretty good at this…"_

Shaking off the past, he stroked his thumb over the glass. "When we first found that photo in your go-bag, Tali pointed you out and called you her Ima. But then she pointed at me and called me Abba."

Feeling the tears start to fill her eyes again, Ziva had to blink them away in order to stop herself from crying again. "That is her favourite photograph. Ever since she was born, I would show her that picture every night, tell her the story of us and our time in Paris and then point out both of us. Other times, I would tell her all different stories: from times in the bullpen, overnight trips, stakeout conversations, times that we were trapped in boxes…" they both had to laugh at that one. They did have a tendency to find themselves trapped in small spaces! "She loved to learn about you, and she had started to demand hearing about you more often. Whenever she wanted you, she would find the photo frame and ask for her "Abba". She's always known about you Tony."

Listening to how much Tali had wanted to know more about him brought tears to his eyes and he couldn't help but let a few of them escape and trickle down his face. He just loved Tali so much and he never wanted to be apart from her ever again. "Thank you for telling her about me. While I would have wanted to physically be there, I am glad and relieved that she knows about me and who I am."

Ziva nodded and that sat there in silence for a few moments, until Ziva replied with something that caught him off-guard.

"You remembered."

The roles were reversed: now it was Tony's turn to shoot Ziva a confused look. _Remembered?_

"Paris." She continued.

 _Oh._ Tony gave her a knowing smile. "How could I forget?" Ziva returned this with a small smile of her own as she looked shyly down at the ground.

"You were right. This place really is beautiful, Ziva." She smiled up at him.

"Thank you. You still have the key, after all this time."

"It's only been three years…"

* * *

 _ **Flashback**_

 _ **Wednesday 11**_ _ **th**_ _ **July 2012, Tony's apartment, 11pm**_

 _Ziva wasn't fine. Anyone could see that, but Tony could feel it. The pain that was radiating off of her._

 _They'd all seen a lot both in this job and in their own personal lives, but Ziva David was very much near the end of what she could take. Right at the end of her tether. In fact, she'd been dangling dangerously close to the edge since Mike Franks' death, maybe even since Somalia. But even back then, they could see the fight in her: her determination and spirit telling her, willing her to keep on going. Tony couldn't see that quality of hers that he loved so much right now. She looked defeated, and that scared him to death._

 _ **May 15, 2012.**_

 _ **A day of loss,**_

 _ **a day of sorrow,**_

 _ **a day to remember**_

 _ **and vow this will never happen again.**_

 _No one was ever going to forget that date. The date that they were personally and brutally attacked. The day that they were blown up in their own home. The day that they'd all narrowly avoided death. Again._

 _Ducky had suffered a heart attack on the beach after hearing about the awful explosion. Palmer was the one who'd found him like that later with his head partially submerged in the water, on what should have been the happiest day of his life. Instead he waited alone in a hospital for news about his friend and mentor while desperately trying to reach someone, anyone back in DC. Neither of them had any idea what had happened; if their friends, their family, their loved ones were safe. If they were injured. If they were still alive. McGee had taken a shard of glass to his side; impaled by a shard of glass; bloody; hospitalised. Walking away with stitches. Abby and Gibbs had been blown up in her lab. And Tony and Ziva themselves had spent countless hours stuck in a small, stuffy, metal box, trapped inside the elevator; Gibbs' office. What was it with them and being stuck in a box?! Not that he was complaining about the company of course…_

 _And then after all of that, after all of them had come through being blown up and had survived; after they'd become even more of a tight-knit family, Gibbs had then decided to run off to face Harper Dearing all by himself after Ducky's revelation about Dearing still being alive ("Are you freaking kidding me?!"). And of course, Ziva didn't take too kindly to that. She was fed up of losing people she loved and cared about. She was fed of up of Gibbs trying to fight these battles on his own without their help; without_ _her_ _help. And after this personal hit on NCIS, the team could see how this was affecting her. How this was affecting all of them. It was hard not to notice._

 _Ziva had spent the next few hours silently worrying and outwardly fuming, snapping at anyone and anything that even thought about making some sort of noise. Finally, when word came through to Director Vance that Gibbs was safe and that Dearing had been neutralised, the team in the bullpen were elated and relieved, shown especially by Abby who couldn't help but dance around the room. Only Tony noticed when Ziva very quietly got up from her desk and snuck away to the ladies room. So he followed her. Well, she'd followed him into the men's room enough times! After seeing her furiously attempt to calm herself and wipe away the endless stream of tears flowing from her eyes, and after failing to push him away, Ziva broke down and sobbed into Tony's chest; both of them sat huddled together in the corner of the room on the floor. Tony couldn't do anything else besides stroke her hair and whisper little words and phrases to try to comfort her. Finally, after half an hour, Ziva's sobs faded to quiet, occasional hiccups. Tony had somehow managed to coax her into leaving the bathroom, gathering their things from the bullpen and coming back to his place for the evening, as neither of them really wanted to be alone._

 _That was how they'd ended up at his place, just the two of them. They only needed the comfort of one another right now; nobody else needed to see them fall apart. And of course, a little pizza and alcohol couldn't hurt them right now. Tony had been worried after the incident earlier in the bathroom as Ziva has shut down and gone very quiet. In fact, she hadn't said a word throughout the entire car journey, even with his usual attempts to illicit some laughter or some sort of witty retort to his antics. He practically had to drag her from the car to the couch! It was only when Tony accidently spilt a whole tray of beer down himself that Ziva broke out of her trance and burst into a fit of hysterics. And hell, if that's what it took to make her laugh, Tony would gladly pour more alcohol over himself._

" _What is your favourite place in the whole world?"_

" _Huh?" Ziva jumped out of her daydream._

" _If you could live anywhere, where would it be?"_

 _Once Ziva had calmed down and Tony had changed his clothes (from the go-bag in the back of his car), they had finally picked up their conversation from the elevator from 2 months ago. The elevator. Where they had finally decided that they were done with the secrecy, the brave faces, as they were tired of pretending. Again. They had vowed to start telling each other things about things. Which is how they'd ended up sitting on the couch asking twenty-one questions._

 _After a few moments, Ziva worked up the courage to share something very personal to her. To Tony, this may have seemed to be a pretty simple question to ask someone, but to Ziva this was something that she had never really told to anyone else before. They had known each other for seven years now and had been through a lot together; they had gone to the end of the Earth for one another. Ziva knew that she could more than trust Tony with this important piece of her life. And she did. "Paris" she replied shyly, keeping her gaze down at her hands in her lap._

 _Tony's mouth gaped open ever so slightly and his eyes lit up at the mention of that beautiful city, his mind racing back to their stay. The memories flashed and zoomed around his head and he instantly felt transported back to that magical place: the sight-seeing trips; walks along the cobbled streets; their hotel room; the one bed within the hotel room… Was that really three years ago now, he wondered… "Yeah?" Tony replied softly._

 _Ziva nodded, still not meeting his eyes. "Out of everywhere in the world, it is the one place that holds only happy memories." Tony waited patiently for her to continue, knowing that there was a backstory or two to this._

 _Taking a calming breath in and then out, Ziva worked up the courage to move her gaze back to Tony. "After my parents split up, my mother took us out of Israel. She did not want us or herself to be anywhere near our father at that point. And one of the places that we lived in for a while was in Paris."_

" _There was just the four of us: Tali, Ari, Ima and myself. And we lived in this beautiful little apartment close to the Notre Dame. It was also close to a little market place and she would take us there every week to help us practise our French. We would be able to speak to all of the local people and the people on the stalls; ask them for different foods and directions. But she never got angry if we made a mistake; she would simply help us to try again."_

" _She sounds amazing…" Tony commented._

 _Ziva nodded, looking sadly down at the floor. "She was…"_

 _She had trailed off now. It was evidently clear that although Ziva never really spoke about her, she really missed her Ima. Ziva had been through a lot and had to grow up really quickly. Sadly, they both knew only too well the impact that losing your mother has on your life; the missing piece that can never be replaced._

" _What happened to the apartment?"_

 _She sniffed quietly but looked back at him again. "We all loved living in Paris, but it was clear to us that this would only be a temporary home. After a while, my mother and Tali began to yearn to back to the Middle East. They missed the climate, the language, the people. So we moved again, this time to Amman in Jordan. Ima did not feel quite ready to go back to Israel just yet. And it was nice, I guess. We stayed in a small house with a family friend for a few months."_

" _What happened?" Tony gently questioned. He knew that this story would only become harder to tell and he wanted to help her through this._

" _She, um… had gone out. We were all at the local school during the day and she chose to go into the markets that day. She had been helping out on the stalls to gain some income while she looked for a job. Um… the three of us often walked home together and she was not there when we got back, which happened rarely but it was not a cause for concern. But when it got later and later and she still wasn't back, we took Tali to our neighbour while we went to search for her. And that was when Ari and I were told by some locals about a shooting in the markets a few hours before. We then received a message that she had been killed."_

 _Tony's face fell. He could only imagine how that must have felt. The one comfort that he took from losing his own mother was that he was able to spend time with her and be with her until she passed away peacefully. But to kiss your mom goodbye one morning and learn that she had been killed by that evening… no one should have to experience that. Meanwhile, Ziva's lips were trembling harshly and she was trying so hard to hold herself together. But when Tony reached over and took her hands gently within his own, Ziva's face crumpled and she burst into tears. Tony pulled her gently into his chest where she sobbed her heart out: crying out for her Ima, Tali, Ari… all while clutching onto the front of his shirt. Unable to contain his own tears, they flowed down his face while he rocked her back and forth and he stroked her hair; something which could be counted on to bring her great comfort._

 _When Ziva's sobs could no longer be heard, Tony looked down to her face, thinking that maybe she had fallen asleep against him. But she was staring off to a spot on the wall beside her. He needed to bring her back: she needed to finish her story. They both knew that she would feel better, freer if she did so._

 _Tony took Ziva's face in his hands, causing them to look at each other in the eye. "We're not done yet. Finish it."_

 _Ziva covered his hands with her own and stroked her thumbs over his knuckles. Her way of thanking him for being there, listening, for being Tony. "After that, we went back to live with our father. Ari and I continued our training until he was sent to Edinburgh to study to become a doctor. You know what happened next." Tony nodded his confirmation._

" _When Ari was suspected of killing Kate, I came to NCIS to prove his innocence. You may remember that I spoke on the phone to him whilst in the bullpen?" Tony nodded, vaguely recalling watching her hover by the windows speaking to someone in Hebrew. "Ari and I had a plan. We'd had a plan all along. Neither of us had any desire to go back to Israel. We had lost Tali, our mothers and we hardly spoke to our father anymore. We had planned to run away to Paris together. And while we had been searching for where in Paris to go, we discovered that the little apartment that we had lived in as children was available to rent. We leaped at the chance."_

" _Jumped, Zi, jumped at the chance."_

" _Oh, yes! Anyway, we went through some back channels and rented the apartment under an alias, then formed our plan of how to get to there from America. But we obviously never got to do so…"_

 _He was losing her again. So Tony took her hands in his, as if to give her the strength to continue. Ziva could only smile and wonder when Tony had become so good at reading her and knowing exactly what to do to help her and make her feel better. And special._

" _After that, I continued to rent the apartment. I still had no desire to go back to Israel. There was hardly anything left there for me anymore. But I still often felt like an outsider in America. The only friends I had were you and the team, and even then you did not warm to me. Abby hated me; McGee was happy he was not the newbie anymore; you did not know whether or not to trust me and Gibbs felt like he owed me._

" _What about when…" He didn't want to drag that hell hole into this, but he had to know._

" _It was no longer mine while I was in Somalia. And when I came back, I soon discovered that someone else had rented it and was now living there. That felt like I had lost a part of me; my family. Once I was in a better place, I would try again every few weeks. You may remember that I was not in a very good place after Cobb killed Mike. It was around that time that I checked again, but the person was still living there. And then I decided to check again a few days ago after everything that has just happened over the last two months."_

" _And…?"_

" _It is available again." Her eyes lit up._

 _That was pure magic to him. Tony wished he could see that sparkle in her eyes all day, every day. He could get lost in those beautiful eyes, which had earned him more than his fair share of headslaps! "What are you going to do?"_

She took a moment to gather her thoughts. " _I would like to buy the apartment, so that I do not have to worry about someone else wanting to rent it. The owner has already said that he would be willing to do this for me._ _I still agree with what I said to you two years ago. There is always another monster. If anything should happen, I want to feel prepared. To be able to disappear without a trace."_

 _Without a trace. She wanted to run away. Tony's face fell. To think that she could be gone one day out of the blue and they would never know what had happened or where she was. That they would never see her again; that_ _he_ _would never see her again. Tony rubbed the back of his neck anxiously with his hand._

 _Seeing his reaction, Ziva needed to share one more thing with him. "There is another reason why I am sharing this with you, Tony." That quickly got his attention as his eyes came back to meet hers._

" _Tony… after what has happened recently… I have been thinking about this. A lot. And I do not wish to run away. I do not want to simply turn this apartment from a home to a hideout. I do not want that piece of happiness to be tainted by sadness and violence. So I want this apartment to be for you as well."_

 _His mouth fell wide open. She wanted what?! That was her special place; a place to remember her family. Surely he couldn't intrude upon that? "Zi…"_

" _No, please let me finish. If ever you are in trouble or if you ever want a break for a few days, I want you to be able to have somewhere safe. I mean, with your track record, you're gonna need it one day DiNozzo!" Ziva joked, lightening the mood and he couldn't help but join in._

" _Tony… you are the most important person in my life. I trust you completely and I… I want to show you how much you mean to me; how much I care about you."_

 _He was speechless. Ziva had often kept her feelings and emotions bottled up, so to hear those words from her… Tony was just lost for words. She thought of him so highly and he was beyond honoured that she would share this special place and those special memories with him._

" _Alright, my ninja. Let's go get us an apartment, sweetcheeks!"_

* * *

 _ **Present Day**_

"You made my day, Ziva, when you came into work a few days later with those two keys to this apartment."

Ziva blushed a little. "What made you bring the key with you? When you left DC?"

Channelling his inner Gibbs, Tony scoffed slightly and replied: "Call it a gut instinct."

Ziva rolled her eyes at him. "Tony."

"Alright alright… I guess… I knew that I wanted to take Tali to Israel and Paris. We needed answers from Israel and Paris… well I know how much you love this city. And some of the memories that you and we have here. This apartment is one of the few places I know, or know of here. It has your history, your past all throughout the building and I'd never been here before. And I wanted Tali to feel close to you. To go somewhere that was and still is special and significant to you. And when Orli revealed that you were still alive, I knew that this would be the only place that you would go."

Wow. He never ceased to amaze and astound her. Here was a man who by rights should have wanted to stay in DC, close to his family, in a stable environment. But he instead chooses to fly halfway around the world, searching for answers, searching for _her!_ _After all that I have put him through, he should have wanted a clean break from me. Instead he tried to continue including me in Tali's life, so she would always know her Ima. I do not deserve it._

"Thank you." Two simple words, but it was all that her flabbergasted self could say. It was effective though and Tony clearly appreciated those words, acknowledging them with a soft smile and a nod of his head. Thank you can go a long way.

Leaning forward, Ziva placed her head in her hands. "Who would have known back then, when we first bought the apartment together, that this was how things would turn out." She shook her hand before lifting her head again back at him. "When I asked to become an NCIS agent all those years ago, I imagined that I would still be working there in 20 or 30 years' time. I certainly did not expect to be resigning for good and having a child with you so soon afterwards."

He scoffed again at that. "Yeah, I'll admit that I definitely did not see this coming."

Ziva sighed and fidgeted with her fingernails. "So… now what?"

"Now?"

"Tony, there are still people out there, searching for concrete proof that I am really dead. They will not stop until they know that for definite. These people are very good. They had Tali and I under surveillance for weeks."

"Yeah I know, they were watching us too."

She whipped around to face him, her jaw dropping wide open, almost reaching down to the floor. "What?!"

 _Oh boy._ "After your… they watched us: me, the team, my father, your aunt; they wanted to see if our reactions were genuine. See if you really were in the farmhouse at the time."

"How do you know that?"

He smirked. "Orli. Mossad was keeping an eye on them. They still are."

 _Oh. Of course. Tony spoke with Orli in Israel, remember?_ "Yes, yes I know…" she recalled, trailing off again as she began to realise something. "Tony, these people… They are the type of people who will not give up until they have proof. Physical proof that I really am gone and until then they will keep looking. And if they are still following you, then will know that you two are here."

"If you run, they will keep looking."

She sighed, running her hands through her messy curls which were flowing freely this morning. "You are right. But I will not risk you and Tali."

"And I will not risk you. How many times have we nearly lost you, Ziva? No matter where we stand with each other right now, Tali needs to grow up with her mom in her life. You are not doing this alone anymore."

"That's exactly what I am afraid of, Tony."

That statement really left no room for Tony to argue back his point further. "Look, I know that you are very fiercely protective of the people close to you, but you have to realise that acting alone could very well mean that own daughter could potentially grow up without a mother. She almost did have to. And she could have been parentless if Orli hadn't come to me with Tali."

Ziva could feel the tears coming back quickly now. She could never make up for what she had done, but she could act and make a change. Standing up from the couch, she moved over to where Tony sat, crouched down in front of him and took hold of both of his hands in her own. Tony looked somewhat shocked at her change in closeness but to his credit he didn't pull away. "I'm so sorry, Tony. I wanted to tell you in person about Tali. I can only imagine what it must have been like to find out like you must have done."

Tony licked his lips, finding their proximity to each other a bit off-putting. And distracting. "I'll admit, finding out that you were dead one moment and then discovering that I was a father in the next was a bit of a shock putting it mildly! After all this time, I didn't expect that I would ever have kids and I never thought that I would be a good father. But meeting Tali, well that was love at first sight. She's perfect."

His face lit up, conveying his pride towards his little girl, and Ziva's face beamed widely along with his. "She is. She is the best of both of us. Tony, I am so very sorry for keeping your daughter from you. I should have told you about Tali from the beginning. I do not expect you to ever forgive me for this, nor do I believe that anything can happen ever again between us because of my actions, but I completely understand."

Tony paused for a while, thinking in his head of how to begin to process this information. She was right: a relationship between the two of them was the last thing on his mind and he also didn't know if he could ever forgive her actions. But they needed to work together as partners, as a team again, for Tali's sake. "I don't know if I can even think about that right now, but I do know that no matter what happens between us, I want us to be able to work together to raise Tali. She doesn't deserve to be torn and pulled between her parents and arguments." Ziva nodded her head quickly in agreement. "I would like to know everything that has happened over the last three years. Everything, Ziva. I think you owe me that much."

"Yes. Well then, I shall start at the beginning. From when you found me in Israel…"

* * *

 **A/N: Next time: Past Is Prologue continues with 'Confession'. Ziva and Tony share what transpired during their first year apart (so throughout S11). I've actually got a whole load of bullet points that I'm going to cover during this chapter, if there's anything you'd like me to bring up in this chapter feel free to let me know!**

 **Chickie10016: WOW! Thank you so much I am totally blown away by your beautiful words! And thank you for the A hehe ;) Oh yes it was a hard chapter to write in terms of creating a realistic sounding argument but I am really relieved that you feel that I am working hard to keep them in character. It really is one of the things that I'm trying hard to maintain, so we can feel like maybe something like this could happen! It really means the world to me when people like you write such lovely, amazing comments about your writing… I just couldn't even begin to imagine this when I started out! Yeah while it does take me a while (I know I take way too long!) to write but it is totally worth it when you get to talk to loads of amazing people. I know! I'm still overwhelmed by everyone who reads, reviews, supports this story, it's crazy! It is my absolute pleasure and thank you so much for your time and effort to read, review and support :)**

 **Debbie: Hello! Thank you so much for your really lovely comments. I'm so glad that you liked the last chapter and that you could feel as if you were there listening in on their conversation! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter :)**

 **Eowyn: Hello there! Me too! While Tony is (and should be) angry with Ziva right now, he still loves her very much and he will definitely be working with Ziva. Gotta love Tiva :)**

 **Guest (Continuity error!): Ahh not again! Sorry about that, it has been changed in the previous chapter, thank you for spotting that and letting me know! :)**

 **Guest (Chapter 11: The Facts of Life): Oh yes that is great! I really like that, I feel like that sums it all up in a nutshell :)**

 **Guest (Mike Franks): Thank you for letting me know that he was on the wall in the memorial, I really couldn't remember! Thank you :)**

 **Guest (Ziva not believing in happy endings): Ooh an Arrow reference, yes! Hehe! Yeah, I know that Ziva has been through a lot in her life, but she's not one to sit and moan about it. Which again is a reason why CdP left. But yeah, I wanted to shake Oliver Queen in that scene! :)**

 **Guest ("TWO. WHOLE. YEARS."): Thank you for telling me, yeah that should now be in capitals! :)**

 **Guest (If Nettie does become informed of Ziva's survival): Ooh that could be interesting if she moved in with Tony, Ziva and Tali… it's definitely an idea that I'm playing about with… ooh thank you for sharing that one! :)**

 **Guest (If Ziva ever wondered to herself if she would have been a help or a hindrance had she stayed in NCIS?): YES! That's definitely something I have thought about over the last few years, especially when Sergei was around. It's something that I will go into, probably within the next few chapters, again looking at if she would have wanted Tali to have been involved in that world… :)**

 **Guest (For all his anger at Ziva): That is a very good point, Tony (and Sr too!) seemed to have a gut feeling that Ziva was alive. And Tony was not going to stop until he had physical proof that Ziva was alive or dead. I think that once Tony stepped back and looked at the "evidence" which "proved" Ziva was dead, he saw the missing pieces and the things that didn't make sense. So he wanted to go to Israel for himself and get those answers. I'd like to see this featured/mentioned in S14. Oh yeah, I really like what you wrote and when Tony does eventually calm down and move forward, he'll be able to tell Ziva this. Thank you :)**

 **Guest: For me, I feel that Ziva didn't know that Sergei and Ari were half-siblings. I'll will definitely be discussing that in Chapter 14 in much more detail! I think that at the moment, Ziva would be shocked at hearing about Gibbs but also overwhelmed by how much has happened. But I think that once we go into more details about Gibbs nearly dying in Chapter 15, I think that Ziva will show more clearly that she is horrified and upset by this. That has given me another interesting point to add to the next chapter though regarding Gibbs and Ziva, so thank you! :)**

 **Guest (Socorro Santiago): So I just had to Google her name, but woah! Yeah I think that she would be great as Nettie, especially when you look at and compare her to Weronika Rosati (who played Rivka)! Ooh that is really great, thank you for that! :)**

 **Guest (If Gibbs had put Ziva's ID in the memorial): Ooh now I hadn't even thought about it like that, that is a very good point! I guess Gibbs' reaction threw a lot of people off, you don't know whether he has accepted her death and isn't showing any emotions over it, or if he's got a gut feeling (or knows something we don't) that Ziva's still alive. If it's alright, would I be able to mention the point you made about the ID in a later chapter please? :)**

 **Guest (Chapters 11 through 14): Ooh I really like naming them after the four steps of reconciliation! Yeah it fits well as Ziva is trying to reconcile with Tony and they are sharing with each other things that have gone on over the last few years.**

 **2\. Yes, I really like the ideas of Past Is Prologue or Reflections, I hope that you're happy with me choosing Past is Prologue, it was just a very fitting, unique title!**

 **3\. Ooh, I'm loving "The Devil You Know" and "The Devil You Don't" as chapter titles. They are very intriguing…!**

 **4\. Again, more great chapter titles! They are all serious amazing! I like the ideas of using "First Contact," "Interception," and "Interference" for spreading news about Ziva being alive. All I need to do is figure out where in my story they will tell people… :)**

 **Guest (After Ziva read through; My bad, I completely forgot): Don't worry, well done for spotting that and I'm so sorry if I didn't make it clear that it was Ziva's suitcase that Tony brought from Israel! :)**

 **Guest (I wondered what happened): Ooh me too, I've been contemplating about bringing in Malachi and Liat for a few weeks now… I would love to have seen more of them after S8! :)**

 **Guest (By the time they're done): Yes, while Tony and Ziva do have a lot to talk about and sort out, they will one day reach a point where enough is enough and like you said, they will move on from the past. :)**

 **Guest (Babysitting): I totally agree! Those babysitting experiences definitely showed off Ziva's maternal side and showed that while Tony felt nervous around kids, he was also a natural dad. From the start I really wanted to work these into this fic and I hope that you liked the mention of these within this chapter. I think that they will also talk about these again in the future… :)**

 **Guest (This is what Ziva told Rachel): Hehe this quote has been written in my notepad for a little while now, it's definitely something that will come up later on! It says a lot about what Ziva wanted back then and it will be interesting to discuss this further now that she has Tali and is starting to work things through with Tony… :)**

 **Guest (Nerf weapon toys): OMG YES! Tali would totally be the master of the Nerf gun haha, this may just have to happen further down the line! :)**

 **Guest (Vance and P2P): Yes! I wonder whether Vance's connection was made public? It really did come back to haunt him. Thank you for reminding me of that one, I will try to work that into the next few chapters, I'm thinking it would fit well with Chapter 14… :)**

 **Guest (You stopped at the best part): Olá! Wow hello from England to Brazil! Thank you I am really glad that you like my fanfiction! Don't worry about it, English is a really tough language! Besides, I cannot speak Portuguese! Hehe I agree that Tony and Ziva will get to that stage further down the line, but I will apologise now as I don't think that I'm the right person to write a sex scene! Personally, I don't feel comfortable writing about that, sorry about that! :) Xoxo**

 **Guest (With all the sadness): Aww me too! I love the Ziva-isms, and the smiles/laughs between Tony and Ziva and all the little looks just make them who they are! I cannot wait to be writing scenes like that and like you said that have missed out on that for the last three years, they need to make up for lost time haha :)**

 **Guest (Ziva italicized thought): Ooh I like the thought, thank you for sharing that! I hope that your point was covered somewhat within this chapter, it will certainly appear again over the next few chapters too :)**

 **Guest (NCIS Wiki): Thank you for telling me! I have gone and corrected the name Shmeil in all previous chapters so it should be right now! :)**

 **Guest (Tony's description to Ziva): 1. Yeah I feel like Ziva didn't know about Jackson's death, for reasons that will appear in the next chapter, along with Delilah's paralysis (sorry that has now been changed to Parsa!). Thank you for reminding me, I need to include Fornell and Emily in Chapter 14! Don't worry I didn't have Tony mention that Sergei was Ari's half-brother for a reason, but he will tell her in C14. Which will be followed by Gibbs getting shot by Luke Harris and going through surgery. 2. Thank you, I have now changed Eli to "my father" and 3. The two whole years has been changed too :) 4. Yeah, there was a lot that Ziva had to react to so I will bring up Tali's nightmares for definite within the next few chapters and Ziva's guilt about this :)**

 **Guest (Tony is going to feel guilty for making Ziva feel guilty): Yes I think that Tony is currently still angry at Ziva because Tali is having nightmares, but when they discuss this further in the next few chapters, I think that as you said, Tony will begin to feel guilty for his reaction about this :)**

 **Guest (When Tali woke up like that): Thank you for your idea, I have now added Ziva and Tony jumping back in shock. You're right, that would have been a normal reaction! :)**

 **Guest (Gal Gadot): Ooh, now I can just see her as an adult Tali! That would be quite a good fit, and like you said she played a former Mossad assassin! :)**

 **Guest (Welcome back!): Thank you! Yeah I just spent so long writing C11 and mapping out ideas and getting my head around some things for this fic! And most importantly, replying to reviews! :) 1. Ooh thank you for sharing the fic "Where The Winds Carry Them". I have added this to my "to-read" list and I'm gonna go find this fic! I have read other fics by BigBadWolfTardis before and I really enjoy their work! It sounds like a very good story, I'll read it and let you know!**

2\. Yes, it would make sense to split the Kelly story into the 3 stages (child, teen, adult). I will see if I can think of someone to play teen Kelly. Ooh I like "The Lost Daughter" title, it just sums it up without giving too much away! Again, I agree that she would be raised in the US and OOH! I would love to see the Kelly rules to live by! Don't worry, this info has now been added to my doc! I will also have a think about her new name… I think the 1

 **st** **chapter idea could be a great idea, I am interested to see Shannon and Kelly in NIS protection. Honestly, your description gave me chills!**

3\. Again, the "Best Intentions" is on my 'to-read' pile, but yes it would make total sense to read that before writing the time-travel story. Ahh, I can't decide which one I like better: "One Chain Broken, Another Chain Forged" or "The Chains of Fate"! Both are great! Yes, while we obviously don't know everything about NCIS like when Bishop applied for NCIS, it will be interesting to explore and develop relationships and saving characters like Jenny and Kate. Again, this has been saved! :)

 **4\. Oh yeah, Deena is a big part of this fic! I will try my absolute best to develop her character and look at why she is acting towards Ziva the way she is. Yeah, I think that Deena could have been part of a mini-plot for Ziva, which probably would have resulted in some sort of showdown where Ziva again would be emotionally hurt. Like you said! With Tony as her knight ;)**

 **5\. Okay wow! I love your ideas for the front and back covers! I am absolutely awful at drawing but that makes we want to get out a sketchpad and draw both of those covers! In fact I just might… Haha oh yes, now how can we sum up the Tiva relationship on a back cover…! Like you said, we'd need some brief overview of 2005-2013, followed by Ziva's supposed death and Tony's quest for the truth. Hehe I love the final line as well, they are our favourite super-couple! :)**

6\. Somehow, if only! I can't imagine MW or CdP will ever read this story, God only know what they would think about this! Yeah, I wouldn't have the slightest clue about how to get them to read this! But hey, we can dream :)

7\. The more I think about it, the more I think that this will be quite a bit longer than 20 chapters! We need to cover Tiva beginning to reconcile, dealing with the threat, moving forward (e.g. where to live), telling the team and the future.

 **8\. I know, I'm sorry! I'm bad at giving planned upload dates as I can never stick to them and then I feel bad! I'm hoping to having C13 and C14 up really within a week or two, but who knows with me! Ahh… :)**

 **Guest (Tali's nightmare): Ahh I like your thinking about Tali's nightmare, especially about her visualising someone as a monster. It would be interesting to see what her nightmare was about and how she can share this with her parents…**

 **Guest (C11 Changes): I hope that this is alright! Thank you, I've read through all of your comments, I'm gonna finish and upload this chapter, then sleep (it's 4am here!), I'm in school tomorrow but I will then re-read through that part of C11 and your comments and make some changes :)**

 **Guest (It's been three weeks): I know, I'm sorry! I need to write and upload quicker! :)**

 **Guest (Two indications): 1. Yes, "Go or go for good" was an interesting line. It felt like a hint for something, maybe he was trying to push Tony to go and search for answers, maybe find Ziva? 2. Oh yes, the Abby elevator conversation was interesting! Again I've got an idea about when Ziva told Abby, I'm just working out the best place to add this in! 3. The one-shot story is very intriguing, I'm interested to work out why Orli wanted them to lie to Tony. It would be a very different twist on that ep. :)**

 **Guest (I imagine that you are…): Oh yes, I've got a word doc just for these 4 chapters, all bullet pointed notes! Yeah there's a fair amount to cover! Yeah I think that Ziva will have a few choice words for Orli… I would love to be a fly on the wall and listen to that conversation! But again, like you said, they will be able to work through this :)**

 **Guest (If we think about…): Yeah I think that there's a big part of Ziva that wanted Tony to find her so that they could be altogether but she would also feel selfish for wanting so, and she probably felt that she didn't deserve this after she'd lied to Tony. She would have wanted Tony and Tali to be safe, so she would have wanted them away from her in order to protect them from the people who are after her :)**

 **Guest (The first time Tony and Ziva lost trust in each other): It's interesting as you said that like in S6, Tony and Ziva have lost trust in each other. I hope that they can begin to see now the other person's point of view and work through this together… :)**

 **Mary Oviedo: Gracias por sus lindos comentarios! Lo siento, no puedo hablar español . Estoy usando Google para que me ayude! Espero que te haya gustado este capítulo :)**

 **Mishka: Hello there, thank you! I'm really glad that you are enjoying this FF! :)**

 **Sarah: Hello there! Aww wow thank you so much! That does genuinely mean a lot to me, I'm really glad that you like this lil FF! It is my absolute pleasure to be writing this and thank you to you! I am truly grateful that lovely people such as yourself are reading and enjoying this story :)**

 **Stella: Hello! Thank you so much for your lovely request I really like it! I can definitely write a scene where Ziva has a nightmare and wakes up crying and then Tony comes along! I've got this written on my to-do list and I will see where this scene will fit best within the fic, but I will make sure that it's in this fic. Thank you my lovely, TEAM ZIVA IS NOT DEAD! :)**

 **Sue Dooley: Hello! Thank you I'm really glad you liked that last chapter! Yes, Tony should be beyond angry right not but as you said, he did try to move on after Ziva left. We will definitely be discussing Zoe and him within the next 3 chapters. Yeah, Ziva wouldn't have wanted Tony to give up his whole life because of her and she would have believed that he moved on just like she probably told him to so (although she wouldn't have wanted this). Yeah, Zoe will be a very interesting conversation to have…! Tiva forever :)**


	13. Chapter 13: The Second Step - Confession

**Hello! THANK YOU for all of your support and kind words about my last chapter! You all deserve a medal for sticking with this, I'm so sorry this is so late! Literally I've been writing every day for the last month! This chapter (16,410 words) is now longer than my uni dissertation (7500 words)! Thank you so much to James the vet who chose the name of Ziva's nurse! :) Also, if I get any medical information in this wrong, please let me know. All of my information has come from the internet and asking others. Also, I apologise to you all in advance. As you guys know, I've been offered a teaching job and I started on 1st Sept. I can't guarantee how much time I will have to write this FF but there is no way that I will not finish this story! APOLOGIES: I will update the follows/faves list to add below and reply to your reviews tonight/tomorrow! I just wanted to post this for you guys ASAP! :)**

 **Thank you to everyone who is following this story: 1994omi, 19Jessica98, 4susan41, 82kt, agirlwithasmile, ambermichele, angry penguin, anniemous27, arcadia1328, Athenalarissa, Atlante41, Aubrey Etta, bartiks97, beckums8685, Biah Ara, BlackWidowAndCapRule, BleachedAmerican, bobisbusy, BooksDon'tJustTellStories, Breanamo, Brightlight94, bryz9394, bunnykoko, canaussie, cheakyhappysmiles, CheriLane, cindy Seidenberg, countrygal64, Craquotte123, csanders724, Custos Luna, deOliCa, DetectiveInspectorSydney, dianaanne, dreams and desperation, DS2010, Ebony10, egal77, Ella Kelly, Elroon, EowynGoldberry, , Fahrenhheit, fireandice1986, Gaialy, gallieni, Gehrl, georginiuxa, gibsonmarianne, giggles11228, Grey4019, Hales23, HarrylovesGinny09, heathergsu02, hejo.12, , HK Target Shooter, HoldxOn, Hollywoodlove09, hopalong123546, hslacer, IBelieveinPink87, Iluvgleetwilightthg, Ittybittyalissa, IwantmyveryownBooth, James the vet, JdnHwke169, jejouelaflute, jenny1221, jgibbs7, Josette1807, kakus5, KariNCIS, ke31288, Kerrald x, kfink77, Kim69etv, kimjeonguk96, KING P.E.K.K.A, KingsFan20, kissedyouwithfire, klutzysunshine, krazymelmo5385, Krazzy Kezz, kurrumu, Laurenmk20, libs1709, Licara, Lipush, littlecook28, liverpoolss, love is only a dream, love2read20, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, LyanaDavid, MaileS, malec4eva, mama's-broken-heart, MariangelC, Miluca, minihannibal65, Miss-Anarchy-Mayhem, MM NCIS, Mockingprettygirls, moviesmadewithlove, Mrs. Fitzgerald, natalieee28, nattlouu, ncisaddiction, ncisgirl18, ncisgirl2486, ncistiva8, Nena Karnf, NightKing56, Ninja639, os8245, over a cliff'-'all in, Pheonix1995, Pickles and Pigtails, pixie79, priscious, QueenAmbrose, Rach4, Rikusprincess30, runner229, rybka2302, SarahMae93, sbfisher, scarredlove, sentarstage, seriously56, shoppingnull, sjg563517, SJlove07, smkdolphin94, sonckad, SookieEricObsessed, Spiritcatt, SUZITROUBLE, sydchilton, tammy henson, tazmania081005, tere55, tiffanynloud, .3, Tiva-Forever-08, TivaCallensi4ever, Tiva equals Mr. and Mrs. Smith, tivawaigequintis, , tommoissexy15, Troyella-Tiva 4ever, True Blue Pretender, tvdvlugt, TZDDN, UndeadOctopus, VivianaLockhart, Wiggle34, writeinspiredraw and XXbestfriend1XX.**

 **Thank you to everyone who favourited: agirlwithasmile, ambermichele, Anniefynn, BlackWidowAndCapRule, booklover321, BooksDon'tJustTellStories, brittanarules1, Bunnykoko, cindy Seidenberg, Cosmos89, Craquotte123, DetectiveInspectorSydney, doggy bye, Ebony Ater, EllieBer, emeraldcello, Eragonronon, , fireandice1986, gallieni, Gehrl, georginiuxa, gibsonmarianne, Grey4019, HarrylovesGinny09, HelzLckyAngl, Hiphuggers2, hlaughlin93, hopalong123546, James the vet, JessChen, jgibbs7, kakus5, KB96, Kerrald x, Kim69etv, kimjeonguk96, KING P.E.K.K.A, Krazzy Kezz, kurrumu, libs1709, Licaro, liverpoolss, lostie21, love is only a dream, love2read20, LoveZoraLancasteranSonnyMunroe, MariangelC, melitami, minihannibal65, missy841, Mlb080915, MM NCIS, Mockingprettygirls, MyMindJJ, natalieee28, nattlouu, navalhut, ncisaddiction, ncisandsvuaddict, Nena Karnf, NightKing56, Ninja639, os8245, RAD092515, Rasulow, SarahMae93, sassybee, seriously56, smkdolphin94, srshibaharah, tammy henson, tazmania081005, .161, tiffanynloud, Tiva equals Mr. and Mrs. Smith, TivaILY, tivawaigequintis, , tommoissexy15, Troyella-Tiva 4ever, Wiggle34, writeinspiredraw and zivadavid03.**

* * *

 **Thursday 26th May 2016, Parisian Apartment, France, 11am**

 _"I would like to know everything that has happened over the last three years. Everything, Ziva. I think you owe me that much."_

 _"Yes. Well then, I shall start at the beginning. From when you found me in Israel…"_

* * *

 **(June 2013)**

\- _[Ziva]: Sorry I missed you._

 _"You didn't miss me. I'm right here!"_

\- _[Tony]: Where are you?_

\- _[Ziva]: On a bus to Tel Aviv._

 _"So much for a face-to-face."_

\- _[Tony]: Tel Aviv? Exploring your roots?_

\- _[Ziva]: Something like that. Reconnecting. Thinking._

 _"Thinking? That's dangerous!"_

\- _[Tony]: Thinking about…?_

\- _[Ziva]: At the moment, you._

\- _[Ziva]: You and a million other things. I heard about Secnav._

\- _[Tony]: They haven't called us in._

\- _[Tony]: Want some company?_

\- _[Ziva]: Yes. :-)_

\- _[Tony]: Count to a million. On my way._

 _"This is good."_

* * *

 **(October 2013)**

"After the events of that past year, what with losing my father, us being chased by Bodnar and Gibbs taking the fall for us all in Parsons' investigation… I needed some time away from America. I needed to go back to Israel; reconnect with my blood family. I was planning on visiting all of these places that were important to me and my family. And after everything that you had done for me and with our post-elevator promise to tell each other things about _things_ , all I wanted was to share my family with you. To open up a little bit more."

"So you reached out. Tried to call me in the middle of the night. After missing me the first time, you messaged me instead. Told me that you wanted some company."

"I know. And I did. I really did want you there, Tony." Ziva explained whilst looking deeply into his glistening green eyes, trying to convey just how much she had wanted him there. Tony nodded his head ever so slightly. He had received her message, loud and clear. And he could see that she was telling the truth.

Ziva gave him the smallest of smiles before she sighed and looked down at her hands which were now clasped together. "While I was waiting for you to join me, I went back to a few little places. And as I said before, it started off as a good thing. But then we were being chased by Parsa..."

* * *

 _After Tony had informed her that someone had come after him and tried to shoot him in his own apartment, he warned Ziva and told her to be careful. So she had gone to one of her father's old safe houses. Covered her tracks. Tried to lay low._

 _But they found her anyway._

 _Staring at the three men now lying dead on the floor in front of her, Ziva could feel herself shaking and breathing heavily, still coming down from her adrenaline high. This was yet another almost brush with death that could be added to her collection. She felt claustrophobic all of a sudden. She needed to get out of there. Go. Run. Before anyone else came for her. She needed to warn Tony; tell him about this; tell him to stay in DC; ask him to warn the team. No… she couldn't do that. Someone was clearly following their electronic trail. Alerting Tony would only cause the bad guys to hide. Or act sooner. Someone was hunting them down. But what for?_

 _This fight she may have won, but she could tell that this battle was far from being over._

 _Quickly moving back towards the bathroom, Ziva grabbed the medical kit from the cupboard and worked to stop the bleeding from the wound on her leg. Once it had slowed considerably, she bandaged her leg and limped towards the bedroom. After trying to change her blood-stained clothes with an injured leg, Ziva finally succeeded, packed as quickly as she could, grabbed her trusty go-bag and moved to leave the building. But just as she reached the door, Ziva realised something. She knew that Tony would find out about this, and if Somalia was a good indication, there was no way that he would rest until he knew that she was alive. She needed to let him know somehow… but how? Ziva brought her right hand to her neck, fiddling with her Star of David as she thought, just twisting it around her fingers. Wait a second…_

 _Perfect._

 _"I would sooner die than take this necklace off." Her words from years ago floated into her head as she reached for the clasp. But while she didn't want to be parted from her old friend, this was the best way to get her message to Tony._

 _Ziva quickly took off her necklace and looked for the perfect spot in the room before she noticed the photo frame containing the picture of herself and her father from when she was a child. After kissing the necklace and saying a quick prayer, Ziva stroked her thumb over the photo frame one last time and then limped towards the door, not looking back…_

* * *

"While you were on the run, Vance confronted Tom Morrow. Demanded a straight answer. While Morrow claimed not to be involved, he did know that you were the next target. Told Vance that because Eli knew too much they thought that you did too. We tried to get in contact with you through various channels, but we knew that you'd more than likely gone underground. You had no choice about that."

"They still found me. And I knew that they would not stop there. I wanted to go deeper underground. But as I had been injured…"

"You went to see your old friend, Deena…"

* * *

 _"Ziva, how are you feeling?" Deena asked as her friend came out from the bedroom, still limping slightly._

 _"Better, now. My leg has stopped hurting as much. Thank you for helping me." Ziva ended her sentence with a slight wince as she sat at the other end of the couch to Deena, placing her injured leg up onto the foot-rest in front of her._

 _"You know… I cannot remember the last time that I was here." Ziva could still feel the effects of the pain meds. While they had made her sleepy beforehand, they were loosening her tongue now. "I always loved coming here as a child. The atmosphere was so different to my apartment across the hall. I miss those days, when the four of us would spend time together. You, me, Tali and Ari."_

 _She laughed as she reminisced. "Do you remember when we used to climb up on the roof of the apartment building? It was our place to escape and talk, normally always about dancing and boys! And Ari would always bring a football up there or try to place a joke on us!"_

 _"Ziva... please stop." If Ziva carried on talking about Ari, Deena wouldn't be able to hold in her secret any longer. And Ziva couldn't know about that._

 _Seemingly oblivious to her friends' discomfort, Ziva continued. "Or the times that Tali, you and me would put on these dance and music shows for your parents, my mother and Ari right here in your living room? Tali would always perform an operatic piece so beautifully while we would do a ballet duet? We used to insist on wearing our leotards and tutus! And Ari would always film every performance. He was a good big brother."_

 _"And yet you worked with his killer every day for eight years?!"_

 _"What?" Ziva asked, snapping out of her daze._

 _Deena couldn't hold in her anger any longer. "One thing that I never understood, Ziva, was how you could work with Agent Gibbs? He murdered your brother and yet you chose to work with him?! And your new co-workers were celebrating your brother's death! How could you work with them?" She asked incredulously._

 _"It was a little more complicated than that…"_

 _"Complicated?!" Deena cried as she leapt out of her seat, waving her arms frantically. "I know you, Ziva. You would have wanted revenge for your brother's murder; instead you befriended his killer?! What are you not telling me?"_

 _"It does not matter now. That was 8 years ago!"_

 _"So?! It still matters! Why, Ziva? Why can you not tell me?"_

 _"Deena, please, just drop it!"_

 _"TELL ME!"_

 _Please, Deena, just stop!"_

 _"NO ZIVA. WHY WILL YOU NOT TELL ME?!"_

 _"BECAUSE GIBBS DIDN'T KILL HIM!"_

 _Silence…_

 _…_

 _…_

 _"What?!"_

 _Ziva looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She too had leapt up during their conversation; now she slowly sank back down to her seat in shock. The pain in her leg was the last thing on her mind at this moment. 'Oh my God, oh no, why did I just say that? What am I going to do…? There is only one option: tell her the truth. Deena is a good friend, she will understand, right?'_

 _"Deena… I am so sorry… but I cannot lie to you anymore." She took a deep breath, pausing for a moment to collect herself; preparing herself for Deena's reaction. "I killed Ari."_

 _…_

 _…_

 _"Excuse me?!"_

 _Ziva just sat there, nervously watching her old friend. She couldn't bring herself to repeat that again. "Deena, I –"_

 _"YOU?!" She spat venomously._

 _"Deena, I can explain –" Ziva babbled, holding her hands up._

 _"HOW COULD YOU MURDER YOUR OWN BROTHER!"_

 _"I had no choice, I had to protect him!"_

 _"Oh so you decided that you would KILL YOUR OWN BROTHER?! THAT'S SOME PROTECTION!"_

 _Ziva sprang back up; she needed to get through to Deena. "There was nothing that I could have done! He was hurting good people; innocent people! Ari made his choice, he could not be saved."_

 _"NO! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HIM! YOU TOLD ME; PROMISED ME THAT YOU WOULD KEEP HIM SAFE! THAT YOU WOULD GET HIM UNDERGROUND; OUT OF ISRAEL, OUT OF AMERICA! WHEN HE REALLY NEEDED SAVING FROM YOU!"_

 _"He had changed, Deena. He was not the same person! He murdered an NCIS agent in cold-blood, just to hurt Gibbs. Ari needed saving from himself!"_

 _"So you wanted to be the hero? Try to save him? Well, while you were off saving the world… I WAS HERE FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUR BROTHER!"_

 _Ziva's mouth fell wide open. "What?!"_

 _Deena smiled sadly. "We were in love. He was going to propose to me… when you killed him. You took him from me. You stole our chance of being a family!"_

 _"Deena, please, you don't understand –"_

 _"Ari was hurt; broken! And whose fault was that?! His own father, your father! He was the real monster! Eli broke Ari; his own son! Sent him to Scotland; trained him to kill; murdered Ari's mother! The Ari I fell in love with was the smiling boy from across the hall; the good boy. The boy who helped your mother to bring you and Tali up when your own father chose Mossad and another woman over his own family! The man who wanted to have a family with me."_

 _Ziva was now doubting her past actions, visibly shaking while she was trying extremely hard not to burst into tears. How could she stop her brother and her best friend from being happy and in love together? Who was she to dictate that?_

 _Deena got right up in Ziva's face, pointing her finger at her. "You took the man I love away. And yet, you yourself have fallen in love. With an American."_

 _What? Ziva hadn't expected that comment, which was reflected by the look of confusion on her face. What did she mean? Who did she mean?_

 _"Do not look at me like that. He was all that you could talk about at your father's funeral. All about your amazing Tony. How he had tracked you down to the synagogue, or how he had brought Shmeil to DC, or how he had come to the airport to say goodbye. Tony this, Tony that. It is not hard to see that you are in love with him."_

 _Ziva blushed a deep shade of red. Did she really talk about Tony that much? Was it really that clear to people that she lo-. Oh my God! She loved him! Ziva David was in love with Tony DiNozzo! Why was she only just admitting this to herself! Wait… was it clear to everyone else that she loved Tony? Did he know…?!_

 _She was soon ripped from her happy place and back into reality. "Why should you have the man that you love when you took mine from me?"_

 _"Deena…"_

 _"Get. Out."_

 _"No, please, I –"_

 _"I said, GET OUT!"_

 _"Deena, no! Please forgive me, I –"_

 _"FORGIVE YOU?! YOU MURDERED THE MAN I LOVE! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT! THE CENTER OF ALL OF THIS PAIN IS YOU! LEAVE! I DO NOT EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"_

 _To say that Ziva was devastated was an understatement. Tears streamed down her face. She looked as if her whole world had been ripped apart. Her brother was dead. Her old friend wanted her dead. And this was all her fault. Deena was right. Ziva David was the center of all this pain…_

* * *

"After speaking with Deena… things… _changed_. I saw the person that I had become. I was finally forced to take a look at myself again, just like I had done while I was held in Somalia, and once again I did not like who I was."

Tony began to feel afraid. It scared him when she spoke like this three years ago, but he could see that she still clearly held onto the belief that she was simply a murderer and nothing else. Ziva was speaking quietly; monotone; staring straight ahead almost as if she wasn't quite there with him. God, she was still so broken. But she spoke again before he could say anything.

"Deena was right. My life is defined by killings and death. I had lost too many people and taken many lives from this world. Killed people who had families; loved ones. Their blood will always stain my hands. I can never repay those sins."

He couldn't take this anymore. He wanted to shake her; wake her up from this self-pity nonsense. Why couldn't she see the good that she had done in her life? Tony stood up and moved so that he was kneeling down in front of her. But still she looked through him.

"Ziva… Ari was going to end up dead, anyway. He had gone rogue; was hunting down and killing everyone important to Gibbs. He had to be stopped. Someone was going to kill him sooner or later. Would you have preferred that he died at your hand, someone who loved and cared for him rather than the FBI? Homeland? NCIS? And what would you have done in that situation? Hunted down those responsible for his death? You would have been dead then too."

"Maybe I should be…"

Tony was beyond appalled and looked more than ready to punch the wall. "Are you freaking kidding me?! You do realise that if that had happened, then our little girl over there would not exist?!" He exclaimed, pointing towards their toddler in question.

That did the trick. Ziva finally looked at him, the shock sinking in about what she had just said. "I… I am sorry, Tony. I really did not mean that… I… I love Tali, and…" She was breaking down again. This was not good.

Tony sighed deeply. He felt like the voice of reason but he had to get through to her. "I know. I know you didn't mean it like that. But you have to think about it like that."

Needing to feel closer to their daughter, Ziva stood and sat herself next to Tali, who remained oblivious to the conversation as she continued to play with her stuffed animals. _"I bet that she would have loved Burt the farting hippo…"_ , Ziva thought as she startled to tussle Tali's curls. The little girl glanced up at her Ima and smiled, letting out a beautiful giggly sound before reaching out to try and tussle Ziva's hair back. _"I was just going to tussle your hair. Sometimes it makes you smile."_ Ziva's eyes filled with tears and she kissed Tali's head before the toddler went back to playing with her toys.

Continuing to stroke the little girl's curls, Ziva drew her gaze back to Tony. "Deena blamed me. She showed me that I had failed to save and protect my brother. She showed me that my only achievements in life were the number of people that I had killed and the number of lives that I had destroyed. That since Tali's death, killing and getting revenge had consumed my life. How Ari and I both chose to react and live our lives after Tali's death… there were… similarities. We both threw ourselves into our training; pushed ourselves to our limits. But then he was sent to Edinburgh to become a doctor and I was sent to Cairo for a mission."

"And that's when you first met Jenny?" Ziva nodded, smiling a little again.

"Yes. She saw that I was destroying myself after Tali's death. Throwing myself into training and missions. But I had nothing left: my mother and sister were dead; my brother was half-way around the world and my father was using us as pawns in his game. Jen was the first person to actually care about me as a person since I had lost Tali."

"She looked at you like a daughter. That was pretty clear to see. Especially in the beginning. Bringing you to NCIS, she saved your life."

Ziva was trying so hard to stop herself from crying, but she wasn't sure how much longer she would last. "She did. And I will always be grateful to her for that. That I was able to meet all of you on the team. Especially you, Tony."

Tony had now moved so that he was sitting opposite mother and daughter. He couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face at the sight in front of him. "I'll always be grateful for that too, Zi."

As Ziva became fixated with brushing Tali's hair with her fingers, Tony knew that they were going way off on a tangent now. And while it had helped to stop Ziva from replaying that conversation between herself and Deena, they were only at the start of their first year apart. They still had a lot left to talk about.

"What happened next? After you left Deena's place?"

Ziva visibly winced, placing her hands back in her lap. She wanted to stop reliving this, but she knew that even after three years, she hadn't put that behind her. She needed to get past this, and she owed it to Tony to tell him the truth. "I went to another one of my father's safe houses. I needed some time to heal my leg and to think about what to do next. But I knew that I needed to continue to go back to all of these places. I wanted to prove Deena wrong. I wanted to prove to myself that I had changed; that I was not a monster or a ruthless, soulless killer anymore. But each stop just made it clearer that she was right. The center of all of that pain was me."

"Ziva… all your trip proved was that you had been through so many horrible things in your life. Losing your mother… is painful enough. Believe me, I would know. But to lose both of your parents, your grand-parents and both of your siblings… not to mention friends that you have lost… witnessing and experiencing so many unimaginable things… Honestly, you are the strongest person I know." Ziva tried to argue with that but Tony wouldn't let her. "Yes, even now."

She knew that arguing this against Tony was pointless. It was better to drop it and carry on with her story. "And of course, you know exactly where I went after that…"

 _"I tracked you down to Amman, where your mother was killed. And then your grandparents' graves in Meron. The opera house in Cairo where you took Tali. And finally, I found you here, of course. The house where you were born."_

"When you found me, Tony… I was not in a very good place."

"Yeah, I remember… I also remember that you didn't want me there initially."

"That was not true."

"Sure felt that way to me."

"It was not that I did not want you there… it was just…"

* * *

 _Four months. That's how long Tony DiNozzo had spent tracking down Ziva David; following her all over the world. And after all that, they'd ended up back in Israel. He'd just spoken with another one of Ziva's contacts, Nava Adi, who'd informed him that she'd seen Ziva a few days before. Her last known location was this farmhouse. Of course. The house where she was born._

 _With his go-bag flung over his shoulder, he trudged his way up to the front door. He could feel himself getting closer and closer to Ziva's location, and this time he had a really good feeling that she was still here. That she hadn't packed up and moved on yet. He could feel the butterflies tingling in his stomach; his heart was pounded against his chest, feeling like it could explode from his body at any given moment. His gut told him that she was inside, but he needed proof. He needed to see her._

 _Knocking on the wood standing in his way, he called out to her. Praying that she was inside._

 _"Ziva?" Knock, knock, knock. "Ziva!" Knock, knock, knock. "ZIVA! Answer your door!" Knock, knock –_

 _But just as he reached to knock the front door down once more, the green wood was quickly swung open. On the other side, stood the most amazing sight Tony had ever seen. He was speechless. She was here!_

 _"Tony?!" Ziva was shocked. How had he found her?_

 _"Zi…" Tony was shocked. He'd finally found her._

 _Tony took her face in his hands, brushing his thumbs gently over her soft cheeks. She was here, she was really here! God, she was beautiful! A sight for sore eyes. Ziva gasped as she saw that look in his eyes. The look that told her that he was as in love with her as she was with him. He shouldn't be here; she was bad for him. He needed to live his own life. But he was so handsome. She just couldn't resist him…_

 _He couldn't take it any longer. Suddenly, Tony rushed towards her. Instantly, his lips were on hers. They'd kissed before, but it was never anything like this. This was explosive. Just pure electricity was coursing through their veins. Tony was running his hands madly through her wild curls, while Ziva ran her hands up and down his body underneath his shirt. This was it; they were tired of pretending. Tired of having their lives dictated by Rule 12. Tired of denying their feelings for one another. Still locked together in an unbreakable kiss, they stumbled towards the bedroom…_

* * *

"Ziva."

Oh my God, he'd made her jump! She'd almost sprung up off of the floor! "What?" Ziva questioned, jumping back to the present. He had startled her out of her daydream.

Tony smirked at her knowingly. "You were remembering us in Israel, weren't you!"

Ziva blushed, her face turning a deep shade of red. "Well I almost got there...!" She cheekily remarked under her breath, keeping her eyes down to the ground.

He chuckled heartily, loving the fact that he could still have this effect on his little ninja. But then he remembered what had transpired next and his face fell. "I tried so hard to convince you to come home with me. I had shown you with words, with actions, just how much I loved you. I was devastated when you chose to stay."

Reaching over, Ziva took his hands into her own, brushing her thumbs gently over his knuckles. "Standing there with you, in that orchard… those spectacular few days, and our last evening together… that was the best time of my life. You made me feel so special. So loved. No one has ever made me feel like that. It was the perfect way to say goodbye to you, Tony. You so very nearly convinced me to go back to DC with you, to go home with you, but I knew deep down that I could not. I was broken and no good for you like that. I needed to start over, and in order to do so, I needed to let go of everything."

"I know, it's just… that was so tough for me to understand three years ago. All I wanted was to help you; show you that you had changed; show you just how caring and wonderful you really were. But I just felt like you kept pushing me away. That maybe you didn't want me as much as I wanted you."

Ziva shook her head adamantly. "I am so sorry, Tony, believe me, I wanted you there more than anything else. My heart wanted you so much but my head needed to start over. I had to stay there. I left NCIS and DC because I had hurt all of you enough. I could not do that anymore. I thought that if I stayed away from you all, you would no longer be hurt by my past and my mistakes. That made me no different to my brother. I believed myself to be a monster." Ziva sighed, rubbing her left arm slightly. "But I see now that I was simply running away and not running towards anything. That I hurt all of you even more by leaving and by not saying goodbye to the others. But I… I just could not. It was just too hard. But it was a mistake not to do so."

Noticing her guilty expression, Tony moved his hands so that they were now covering hers, reversing their actions. "Zi… look, as I much as I really didn't want you to leave… I understood why. You needed to start over; a fresh start. You wanted to be free and to walk away from your father's world. And you did, Ziva. That takes so much strength; so much courage to do something like that. You wiped the slate clean, started a new chapter and brought a new life into the world. And Tali… she's just so perfect; you've raised her so well."

"I should have told you about her sooner. You deserved to know the truth…" Ziva felt overcome with guilt and almost looked away from Tony in shame. But she had to stay strong and face him.

"Yes you should have. I would have been a part of her life from day one. And yes, I'm not happy at all that you didn't tell me about her… and I'm not sure if I will ever be okay with that. But, the fact that you took a huge leap of faith, you let go of the badge and started your life again… I couldn't be prouder of you for that, sweetcheeks."

That was it. Ziva was off. The tears welled up in her eyes and as hard as she tried, she just couldn't stop them from escaping. Why was he complimenting her? She didn't deserve his praise.

Tony noticed the myriad of emotions spreading across her face. That certainly matched the mixed and countless number of emotions that he was feeling. "You know, you may have given up the badge, but you'll always be a very sneaky ninja!"

At her somewhat confused expression, Tony elaborated. "You managed to somehow sneak your necklace into my pocket! It wasn't until I was on the plane that I noticed it." That made Ziva smile through her tears. "Don't worry. It's been well looked after these past few years and now it has a very special new home." He indicated towards their daughter.

Ziva looked down at the little girl sat in front of her, still confused. She watched Tali for a few moments as she now sat upright, acting out a scene where Kelev was trying to chase Shimpânza's tail! However, after brushing Tali's hair back, she could see that something was hanging around her neck, now hiding under her shirt. As Ziva moved her hands to reveal the jewellery, she gasped loudly, throwing her hands over her mouth. _Oh my goodness!_ "Is… is that…?" She managed to choke out.

"For a long time, I kept your necklace on me at all times: in my wallet; in my pocket; and finally it was given its very own place in my desk draw. After we were told that you had… I started carrying it around in my pocket again. But then I realised that if Tali wasn't going to get to grow up with her Ima in her life anymore, then she should at least have a part of you with her at all times. And I told her that it belonged to her Ima, although I'm pretty sure she knew that already! She hasn't taken off that necklace since."

Tali looked up at her mother who was utterly floored by Tony's beautiful gesture. Placing her toys down on the floor beside her, the toddler reached up to hold the star on the necklace now while staring up at Ziva. "Ima."

Ziva's mouth fell open as she became completely chocked up. She knew; Tali knew that the necklace had belonged to and had been an important piece of her Ima's life. That it represented her mother.

"Ima! Ima! Ima!" Tali chanted. Ziva nodded at her, the water works streaming down her face. Tony beamed at his girls in front of him while Ziva kissed the top of Tali's head like she was the most precious person in the whole world.

However, it all became too much for her. Quickly standing up, Ziva moved like lightning into the bedroom. She couldn't let their daughter see her break-down like this. And she couldn't prevent herself from breaking down. Ziva was hysterical now; in endless floods of tears, sobbing into her hands which were covered over her eyes. Even after everything, Tony had still given her necklace to their daughter. So that she'd always have her Ima close to her. Tony was truly an amazing, selfless person.

* * *

"How is everyone?"

Once she had calmed down enough, Ziva had found Tony and Tali in the kitchen as Tony was preparing some cheesy pasta for lunch. She had proceeded to softly kiss Tali's forehead before she gently lifted up the necklace in her right hand. Stroking her thumb over the star, she pressed a kiss to it before standing and moving over to Tony. He soon found himself enveloped in a bear hug, which after his initial shock, he had returned. _"Thank you, Tony. That means the world to me."_ She had whispered into his ear.

"Good, yeah they're good. Things have changed a little, but they're still as wacky as ever!" Ziva chuckled quietly as she took a seat at the kitchen counter opposite Tali's high-chair, watching Tony drain off the pasta. "After you left… things were really different. The team… they took it hard. Honestly… we all thought that you would come back."

Resting her palms on the counter, Ziva started to play with her fingernails. "Did you tell Abby for me?"

* * *

 _"Tell her that I am… honoring Gibbs."_

 _"Gibbs?"_

 _"Stop this for him."_

 _"Of course… Gibbs."_

 _"I want to make him proud. He taught me to follow my heart and I know that I have to… I have to do this, alone. I need to let go of everything, or I will be… pulled back to where I started. Tell Abby that for me; she'll understand."_

* * *

"I did."

"Thank you, Tony. And I am sorry for forcing you to be the one to tell the team. Instead of facing them, I ducked out of it."

"Chickened, Ziva! You chickened out of it!"

"See you agree!" Ziva exclaimed as she waved her arms around. Tony sighed, rolling his eyes as he dished up their lunch on the counter. But he couldn't disagree with her.

"I cannot imagine how hard that was for you to do. That was not fair of me to ask you to do so. I am so sorry for that, Tony. I should have told them all myself. That much I owed you all."

"Yeah… I'll admit… it certainly wasn't the best conversation we'd ever had as a team. Not something I'd ever like to repeat, thank you very much. And even though I could quote Rule Number 6 at you, I do appreciate your apology, Ziva."

There was an awkward silence hanging in the air between them after that as they slowly started to eat their way through their lunch. Which was seriously good by the way! Ziva had missed how amazing Tony's pasta dishes were.

Tony, sitting in between Ziva and Tali, continued to go between eating his lunch and feeding their little girl. Who took great pleasure in giggling at his silly facial expressions. He looked so at ease with Tali; a natural father. "What did you do, for those first few weeks after I'd left?"

Twirling her lunch around her fork, Ziva stared off to one side. "Honestly… I do not really remember. Leaving all of you… not being with you… that was the hardest thing that I have ever done. I was on self-destruct mode. After calling Gibbs, I pretty much just shut down."

Tony furrowed his eyebrows, feeling more than a little concerned. "What, you can't remember anything?" That's wasn't like Ziva.

She shook her head. "The first few days are still a blur to me. I do not think that I left the couch very much. The first thing that I can really remember is speaking with Nettie."

"Yeah, Nettie told me that you guys spoke on the phone every week?"

Ziva nodded. "Orli called her. Nettie was worried when I went off the grid, so Orli called her often to give her an update. They knew that you had flown to Israel and then spent months following me around the world; trying to track me down. When you ended up back in Israel and then you flew back to DC soon afterwards… they knew that your search was over. That you had found me in one form or another. And Nettie being Nettie, she had to find out for herself what had happened. She was not going to stop until she saw me with her own eyes."

He had to laugh at that. Stubborn as hell, he wondered where Ziva got that from…! "I'm guessing she demanded Orli to tell her where you were?!"

It was Ziva's turn to laugh now. "Orli informed my aunt that you had visited our old family farmhouse before returning to America. And of course, Nettie drove out to that house straight away. She pretty much just told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and to get over myself! And she refused to leave until she had given me a new phone. So that I had no excuse not to answer her calls which she would make once a week!"

Oh yeah, he would have loved to have a fly on the wall during that conversation! "Haha, I knew I always liked your aunt!"

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Well, you certainly made an unforgettable first impression! I will never forget the first time that you spoke to her on the phone!"

 _"Listen, dirtbag. This is Ziva's husband. I have your phone number now. I can find your address. If you ever try to contact her again, I will reach down your throat, grab your intestines, rip them out and drive over your head! Lose this number or lose your life!"_

"I still can't believe that _that_ was how I introduced myself to your aunt!" He remarked, his face starting to turn bright red.

"Actually she found the whole thing very funny! Said she was glad that someone was looking out for me… and that she hadn't laughed that much in years! She also really appreciated those beautiful flowers and your card that you sent her."

"Well, it was the least I could do." He knew that he shouldn't ask, but he was dying to know. "Zi, I don't mean to pry, but you mentioned your call to Gibbs?" She tensed immediately.

"Look, I know that your call to Gibbs was… interesting. I know that things were a little bit… strained; awkward between you two; certainly from Gibbs' reactions. But he never revealed what you guys spoke about on the phone."

Ziva tried to calm her breathing as she thought back…

* * *

 _"Hey Ziver."_

 _"Gibbs." She sniffed. God, how was she going to get through this?!_

 _Hell. "You okay?" He'd known all along, but he'd prayed his gut would be wrong. No chance._

 _She considered her typical 'fine', but he'd know she was lying. "No… not yet."_

 _He rubbed at his face, starting to feel his age. "DiNozzo find you alright?"_

 _Tony hadn't said much on the phone, but Gibbs knew. He had known that Tony lied to him when they had spoken via webcam days before._

 _"He did."_

 _"And yet he's on a plane right now, without you?" He knew, but he needed to hear it from her._

 _"Gibbs… I am not coming back. I cannot." The first tears trailed down her cheeks._

 _"I know." His heart broke. His little girl had left._

 _"I am so, so sorry. I just… I need to start over."_

 _He remained silent. "I have caused so much pain to you all. You have been hurt because of me. Because I have brought Bodnar, Ari, Rivkin, Saleem… into your lives… I cannot carry on like that. I need to stay here. You will be safer without me around." Gibbs could just hear the resignation in her voice. Her self-loathing. God, what had happened to her?_

 _Ziva had long given up wiping the tears away. "You have done so much for me and I am so grateful to you all. You saved me from Mossad, rescued me from Somalia, fought to help me become an agent and a citizen. You gave me a family, a home. I felt the strength of the love from you all, and I love you all just as much also. I will never forget that."_

 _"So that's it? You're not gonna say goodbye in person? You just gonna run away? "You were here for 8 years. Become part of our family. Ziva, you're like a daughter to me! You don't think that we deserve to see you in person?"_

 _She choked on her tears, failing to get any words out. "I know… you are right… but… I cannot… I'm so sorry!" She managed to ramble out. Wow, since when had she become a coward? Ziva had never felt so ashamed. They deserved to see her, instead she hid from them all. Now they would all hate her; now her father figure was disappointed. When she wanted him to be proud._

 _Gibbs sighed, twisting the bottle in his hand. He was angry, but that was getting him nowhere with her. This new Ziva. She was scaring him. "Ziver… be careful. I know you want to change, you want to feel like a better you, but you'll always have a home here. Take care of yourself. Please." Oh how those four words from years before hurt._

 _"I love you, kid."_

 _That she hadn't expected. Her lips trembled and she couldn't help but let out a loud sob._

 _"I love you, dad."_

 _Dad. His heart hurt. He hadn't been called that in so long. Tears of his own began to fall._

 _"Goodbye, Gibbs."_

 _"Shalom, Ziver."_

 _He hung up. She switched the screen off. He took a swig of beer. She threw her phone across the room, shattering it. Both dissolved into tears…_

* * *

Tony was shocked. He always imagined that phone call, wondered what they must have discussed, but never thought it would have been like that. He knew that she wouldn't want to talk about that further.

"When I got back, Gibbs gave me a few days off. Knew I was a mess. But I don't think that it really sank in for me at first that you weren't coming back. Not until I came into work one morning a week after you'd left to find Murray, one of the computer tech guys, sitting at your desk and erasing your hard drive. That was when things were starting to feel more permanent… and that you weren't just going to come out of the elevator at any second."

* * *

 _"Hey Murray, what are you doing at Ziva's desk?"_

 _"Officially not her desk anymore, Agent DiNozzo. Is Gibbs going to replace her?"_

 _"I don't know; it's only been a week. He hasn't really discussed it with me. I repeat, Murray: what are you doing?"_

 _"S.O.P. Just scrubbing her hard drive… (he notices something attached to the monitor). Hey! This kind of looks like you."_

 _"It is."_

 _"How close were you two?"_

 _"Give me that!"_

* * *

"I still can't believe you left my boarding school picture on your monitor! Did I really mean that much to you that you would leave me behind?" He was half joking, half serious and 100% curious.

Ziva went quiet for a moment. "I left that photo there for two reasons. One, so that you would remain a part of NCIS, and two… to remind me to return to my desk… and to NCIS…" She answered quietly, finding a seemingly interesting spot to look at down on the counter.

Oh…

That he did not see coming. Tony could feel his jaw dropping. Maybe he was starting to see that Ziva really did care for him… even if she didn't always take the best approach to a situation. It still amazed Tony how much Ziva had changed between the time that they resigned from NCIS and her seeing Deena again. But then again, had this just been a ticking time bomb waiting to happen? After all, Ziva had been very good at hiding her past and pretending that she was fine. Maybe her talk with Deena was just the catalyst to Ziva's meltdown?

Reaching across the table, Tony gently tucked a loose curl behind Ziva's ear, causing her to look into his eyes. "I'm glad that you did that. Cos in a weird way, it kind of felt like you were still there. Like your presence was floating around the building. And that was just the start. It became pretty clear pretty quickly to us that you were there with us, and we really wanted to keep you there with us…"

* * *

 _"What's this?"_

 _"It's… Ziva's scarf."_

 _"Oh yeah! I remember this! She wore it her first day at NCIS…"_

 _"Yeah, and then after we became friends, I complimented her on it, and she just gave it to me. And I wore it today and it just made me feel better."_

* * *

Ziva's outward smile made Tony smile internally. "She let McGee wear it for the rest of the day to cheer him up."

"I remember that scarf well…" She reminisced.

"Yeah, me too. You certainly made an impression with that scarf!" He cheekily replied, taking his last mouthful of pasta.

Gathering up and placing the empty dishes into the sink, Ziva covered Tali's ears before leaning over to whisper in Tony's ear. "Well, I had to do something to pull you away from all that phone sex that you so clearly did not want to be involved in!"

Tony very nearly choked on his food, while Tali found his misgivings hilarious. Once he'd recovered, Tony glared jokingly at Ziva while she held a big smirk on her face, trying very hard not to laugh as she quickly washed up.

"I never knew that you gave that to Abby."

She smiled at him sadly as she returned to her seat. "That scarf… it was very special to me. The reason that I wore it on my first day at NCIS was for good luck. I know that might sound really silly!"

"No, no it doesn't. It sounds like it meant a lot to you."

Ziva nodded. "It was a present for my 16th birthday. From Tali. She had convinced Ari to take her to the market after he had collected her from school one day. And the two things that she bought for me, well technically Ari bought but she chose, were that scarf and my original Star of David necklace." Ziva scoffed. "How fitting that one of those is safe while the other is lost forever…"

It was a touchy, tough subject. Her little sister had meant the world to Ziva. Tony could see the pain clearly written on her face, but he'd never be able to get rid of that pain for her. _"You never get over: you only get through."_

"After we became friends, Abby told me how much she loved my scarf. And even though I'd only known her a few months, I had a good feeling about her. I gave that scarf to Abby because I saw in her a lot of what I saw in Tali. Bubbly; fun; caring; creative; explosive! In many ways they are quite alike; I am sure that they would have been very good friends."

"I'm sure they would have." Tony was feeling brave, but he still anxiously rubbed his neck. "You know, they tried to text you. We all did. And call. But you never responded."

She could feel her palms beginning to sweat. This was not easy. "At that time, I needed to start over, and having that phone in my hand made it all too easy to speak to all of you and be persuaded to go back to DC. So I locked my phone away; kept it in a safe in case of an absolute emergency. It would have been destroyed in the fire now."

Tony reached over to take her right hand in his left, making her look straight up at him. "That fire may have taken a lot, but the two most important things survived."

Ziva's mouth slowly opened; tears coming to both of their eyes. Beside them, Tali had started yawning audibly as her little eyelids were fluttering, threatening to close. Both adults turned to face their precious baby girl, both reaching out to stroke her wild hair. There was still so much more to discuss between them. But for now, it was someone's nap-time…

* * *

"You remember how we wouldn't let you sit at that desk when you first joined because it had been Kate's desk?" Ziva nodded. "Well it was much worse this time."

She tilted her head a little as she frowned. "There were a few people who tried to sit at your desk and fill your position, even if it was only temporary. We had Mike Franks' last partner, Vera her name was; Susan Grady, you remember her, the freaky polygraph lady who had a thing for McGeek; even Delilah sat there once. Do you remember her? Yeah he's still going out with her. But Tim and I were very protective of that desk. And about anyone else filling your position."

 _"We don't need anyone else, boss, and we don't want anyone else either."_

"It wasn't just us, either. You could feel it all throughout the building. People were shocked. No one saw this coming. And it was like, everywhere we went, there was always some sort of reminder of you. Or any case that we worked on, there was someone else who was telling us how surprised and how sorry they were..."

 _"It's good to see the team hasn't changed too much, Gibbs. I was sorry to hear about David. I'm sure leaving couldn't have been an easy decision for her, and we've all been there."_

Ziva was looking overwhelmed, but Tony knew that he had to carry on. Otherwise, he would never tell her. "After we thought that you had died when the Damocles went down… I was a wreck, but I could fight to avenge you. But when you chose to stay in Israel… I completely shut down… I kept getting distracted and was putting the team in danger. I spoke with Ducky, told him how I felt like I was going crazy and that I wasn't sleeping at all. Still, I was messing up on cases, walking around like a zombie; in the end Gibbs had to tell me to pull it together…"

* * *

 _"You followed your gut."_

 _"That hasn't really been working out… so well… for me lately. Oh I don't know. Maybe it's day number four without sleep, but I can't rely on my instincts any longer."_

 _"I was wrong to trust Anton. Maybe I was wrong about a lot of people."_

 _"Are we still talking about the case?"_

 _"It's so interesting. No one will say her name. Have you noticed? It's like she's dead. Every time I look at her desk, every time I close my eyes, I just feel like I made a mistake, like I made the wrong decision. Only it wasn't me who decided."_

* * *

 **(November 2013)**

"One month on… I still wasn't dealing with you leaving very well. You had been a part of my life, a very important part of my life, for 8 years and then all of sudden, you weren't there sitting opposite my desk, helping me prank McGee, hanging out with me on Friday nights anymore. And I needed to talk to someone about that. Someone who could remain impartial; someone who hasn't afraid to say your name. So I did. And then a few weeks later, Tim found out…"

* * *

 _"Tony, what's going on? Do you have a drinking problem?"_

 _"No! No, I just… I joined this men's support group. Meets in the church hall two nights a week."_

 _"You serious?!"_

 _"Uh huh. I know – it doesn't sound like me. But, with the past year I just wanted to shake things up a little bit. Meet some new people. This guy at the gym told me about the group and I thought it sounded like a good idea. And it is. It's fun. The Rev drove me to Quantico the other morning. Interesting guy. He's helping me be less judgemental."_

* * *

"You know… on the morning that I was late to a crime scene… I had been to see the rev from the support group. I hadn't slept the night before. Couldn't. Just keep thinking about you. What you were doing. If you were safe; happy. It was the first time in years that we weren't planning something for that day. It was a good job that we'd celebrated your 30th the year before!"

"What are you talking about, Tony?"

"That day just so happened to be… Tuesday November 12th."

"… Tony…"

"I was just such a mess that I needed to talk to someone. I went with the intention of asking for his advice, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had no idea where to start or even what to say. And I just felt like I'd missed my chance to talk about it. So, after I'd pretty much screamed and finished destroying the place, I got a call telling me that I needed to get to a crime scene. I wasn't in a fit state to drive and the rev saw that, so he offered to take me there..."

* * *

 _The car ride was silent. Tony was alternating between looking down at his hands and staring out of the window. The Rev drove, patiently waiting for the man sitting next to him to speak. He would talk when he was ready. He had only known Tony for a few weeks now, but it was clear that this was a man in a lot of pain. Who was struggling to come to terms with the woman that he loves leaving the country. With no wat to contact her. Poor kid._

 _"Yes, this is about Ziva." Tony began, as if he was reading the older man's mind._

 _"I know, son."_

 _Tony smiled. "It's her birthday today. 31 she is. I keep forgetting just how young she is; she's been through so much in her life. This is the first time that I haven't been able to celebrate today with her."_

 _"You miss her." Statement, not a question._

 _Tony nodded, sighing deeply. "I miss her. A lot. She was a part of my life for 8 whole years… we were so close. I just… can't stop thinking about her. All I want is for to be here with me." He tailed off. 'I just want you to come home with me.'_

 _"Well… maybe you do need to think about her today. Maybe, instead of spending the whole day berating yourself for thinking of her, you do something instead? Something that she loved to do? Maybe you could go somewhere… to honor her?"_

 _Lightbulb! "I think I have the perfect thing…"_

* * *

"So for your birthday, I chose to go to a ballet. I know what you're thinking: Anthony D. DiNozzo, at a ballet! But I remembered your 'I Will' list. How you'd wanted to be a ballerina as a kid. And I'd never been to see a ballet before. I wanted to see why you loved it so much."

Ziva was totally floored. That was a really beautiful gesture, one that she was sure that she didn't deserve. "Where did you go?"

"To see Sleeping Beauty. At the Kennedy Center in DC. It was Matthew Bourne's company. No relation to Jason Bourne, though! Although Identity did have that killer car scene in a Mini through the streets of Paris, I can imagine you doing that!"

Ziva giggled out-loud. She knew the film: it had been the first thing they'd watched on one of their Friday movie nights after he'd found out that she drove a Mini. How was it that he just knew exactly how to make her laugh? God she'd missed him so much!

"Watching those dancers… I could just imagine you, up on that stage with them. Seeing them twirling and spinning… it was so beautiful and graceful. I've seen you dance, but never ballet. Your Shakira 'Hip's Don't Lie' being a personal favourite!" She blushed deeply. "But I was really drawn into the show. I wish I could have seen you dance ballet."

"Maybe I can show you one day…"

Tony smiled. "I'd like that. So… is our little ninja going to grow up to be a ballerina?" He remarked cheekily.

"She will grow up to be anything that she wants to be." She replied wistfully.

He nodded enthusiastically in agreement. Tali would be able to choose her own career and life. "How did _you_ spend your birthday?"

That pulled Ziva back into reality. "I had no intention to celebrate that day. But by that point, Nettie and Orli had become increasingly frustrated with me. So they took it upon themselves that day to try to bring some of the light back in. They decided that we would go back to Haifa. Where I would spend my summers with my family when I was little."

"We spent the day at The Bahá'í Gardens and then at Dado Beach. I'd forgotten just how beautiful Haifa is. We walked along the beach, ate some food, went along the promenade. It was amazing to be back there. Afterwards, we went back to Nettie's place and spent the evening watching old films and tapes of us from when we were growing up. She had some old tapes at her house but she had also found some boxes in the farmhouse with old photos, drawings and tapes. There were tapes amongst them that I had never seen before."

"Did it help?" He asked softly.

"Yes… I think that it helped to get away from the farmhouse. To remember all of the happy times and good things that have happened in my life. Obviously it did not solve everything, but it gave me back a little bit of confidence." Ziva took a breath, preparing for a topic that she wanted to know more about. "I think that it also helped me about one week later, when Orli informed me that you had found a new agent for the team. Bishop, right?"

"Yeah…" Tony felt a little awkward about discussing Ellie with Ziva. She was clearly very interested in learning about the new team member.

Ziva almost laughed; she knew exactly what he was thinking. "Tony… if you think that I would dislike her because she now has my old desk and job… I really do not. I am actually happy that she has been there for all of you over the past 3 years. That is something that she has succeeded at where I have failed. I am not jealous or angry with her or with any of you. As Gibbs rightly said, I wanted you to move on and you did. Besides, I remember what it was like when I joined NCIS and the team. You had just lost Kate, who was a teammate and very close friend to all of you. I remember feeling like I constantly had to prove myself, but that every time you all looked at that desk, you would wish that she had still been sitting there instead. I know how hard it is to fit in when the people there still miss the person who sat there before. And being in a new city, new neighbours, friends, places. It is tough. And you feel like you are constantly being compared to your predecessor."

"Maybe you guys could meet one day? I'm sure that she'd love to meet you!"

"Yeah… maybe… one day. I would like to meet her too, and thank her for looking after you all."

* * *

 **(December 2013)**

"When did you find out that you were pregnant? I got the brief notes version from Orli, but I'd like to hear it from you. When did you suspect that you were pregnant?"

She thought back. "A few weeks after we had parted, I started to feel unwell. I found that I could not run for as long as I usually could; I was constantly nauseous; I was falling asleep during the day quite a lot. I was worried but I did not want to panic my aunt, so I went to the doctor's to see what was wrong. They took some blood and sent it to a lab to be tested. They called me three days later; told me that they had the results and asked me to come in to see them later that day…"

* * *

 _"Well, Miss David. As you know, your blood test results have come back and I have them here for you."_

 _Ziva sat there opposite him, showing a composed exterior but panicking on the inside. What if something was really wrong with her? Surely it must be something if she had been called back to the doctor's?_

 _"I have some news for you. Congratulations, you are pregnant!"_

 _She was what?! "I… I'm… what?!" She stuttered out. There was no way; surely she'd heard him wrong. After all they'd used… oh! They'd forgotten to use protection!_

 _"Yes, you are 10 weeks pregnant."_

 _Ziva sat there dumbfounded. No, she could not be pregnant. Definitely not. And yet she was. She felt lightheaded all of a sudden; her ears were ringing, threatening to drown out the doctor's voice. Oh God, oh God, oh God. What was she going to do? She was pregnant, all alone, with no support network around her. And all she wanted in that moment was someone sitting beside her; comforting her, telling her that everything would be alright, that they would always be there for her and their baby. And yet the one person that she needed the most was the one person that she had pushed away. Tony… should she tell him?_

 _"Now, what I would like to do today is run an ultrasound…"_

* * *

"The rest of the appointment was all a bit of a blur. I remember him telling me about antenatal screening tests, vitamin supplements, asking me questions about my health, if I'd been pregnant before. It was just so overwhelming. I just felt like I wanted to run but I was so shocked that I could not move. The next thing that I remember was that I had somehow made my way back to the farmhouse and Nettie was there in front of me all of a sudden…"

* * *

 _"Ziva… Zivaleh. Motek, what is wrong?"_

 _Ziva wanted to reply, but she was still trapped in her own little world by her shock. Instead she sat there frozen, shaking slightly._

 _Nettie noticed that her niece was holding two photos in her hands. So she gently took Ziva's left hand and eased the first photograph from her grasp, which was surprisingly easy as Ziva did not put up a fight._

 _Peering down, she smiled. It was a photograph of her niece sitting on a motorbike with a handsome looking man sat in front of her. Nettie knew that this man was special, ever since he had posed as Ziva's husband and told her over the phone to lose Ziva's number, thinking that she was some guy who would not leave her niece alone! And after that she had received a very sincere apology card with the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers! She had heard nothing but good things about him since._

 _Swapping her attention, Nettie now gently pried the photograph from Ziva's right hand and turned this over to see what had shocked the woman sat in front of her. She certainly did not expect to see what this picture had revealed._

 _An ultrasound._

 _Showing a baby._

 _Ziva._

 _Pregnant._

 _Her niece was pregnant!_

 _Nettie gasped. "Oh my dear." Ziva was rocking backwards and forwards, clenching and unclenching her hands from the seat of the couch beneath her. Tears were streaming from her eyes as she broke down. "Come here little one, come here motek." Nettie sat beside her and slowly pulled her into her arms, embracing her in a hug. To her surprise, this jolted Ziva out of her headspace and her niece clung to her tightly, desperately as she completely dissolved into sobs._

 _They sat like this for almost an hour, with Nettie stroking her hair and offering comforting words. When Ziva finally went quiet against her, the older woman thought that maybe she had fallen asleep. But after composing herself, Ziva pulled away and wiped at her eyes with her sleeve._

 _"How do you feel?"_

 _"I… I… do not know. It all feels like a dream."_

 _"And… Anthony?"_

 _"Yes, Tony is the father. For definite. There was nobody else. There was never anybody else."_

 _Nettie smiled and nodded. She knew that. She knew just how much her niece loved that man. "What are you going to do?"_

 _"I do not know. What do I know about being a mother?"_

 _"Ziva –"_

 _"I AM A MONSTER! I HAVE KILLED AND TAKEN SO MANY LIVES! HOW CAN I RAISE A CHILD? I DO NOT DESERVE TO HAVE A CHILD. I DO NOT DESERVE IT."_

 _Ziva continued to repeat this over and over again. By this point, she had curled up into a ball on the couch, burying her head into her knees and began to rock backwards and forwards again._

 _I cannot do this. I cannot do this. I cannot do this. I cannot –_

 _That was it. Nettie took Ziva's face into her hands. "That is enough of this self-pity, my child. Now, you have two choices here. You can either keep your baby or you do not. That is your choice."_

 _The voice of reason; that was exactly what Ziva needed right now. Her aunt's words really hit home and struck a chord with her. She could keep the baby: but she was not fit to be a mother, she had no idea what to do. But if she chose not to keep the baby… NO. All Ziva could see in her mind was her child; a little girl running across a field, holding a little toy dog in her hands; her curly brown hair wild around her; piercing green eyes so clear to see. Her father's eyes… Tony… She could never do that to him._

 _"I am going to have a baby." And for the first time that day, Ziva was confident; positive. She would have a baby; their baby…_

* * *

"I knew that I wanted to keep our baby. I could never take away something that was a piece of you. She just looks and is so much like you, Tony. She is a part of you, which makes her special. Irreplaceable." Ziva quickly placed her hands on his face, rubbing his cheeks lovingly before removing them just as quickly. "Nettie stayed for the whole evening. We talked about her moving in to help with the baby and sorting out doctor's appointments. Then she went home the next morning to get some of her things."

"And that's when Orli showed up." She nodded.

"I knew as soon as I saw her that she knew that something was going on. It was clear that she had been spying on me for those last 2 months that I had decided to stay in Israel."

* * *

 _"Ziva, how are you?"_

 _"What are you doing here, Orli?" She snapped, folding her arms._

 _Orli could see that she would have a fight on her hands today. "I wanted to check up on you; see how you are."_

 _Ziva scoffed loudly at that. "You are here because you know that I went to the doctor's yesterday. You know that my aunt stayed the night and you want to know what is going on. You know, it is amazing how you conveniently turn up just after she leaves!"_

 _"What do you want me to say?"_

 _"The truth. Why are you following me?"_

 _"Ziva –"_

 _"WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?"_

 _"Ziva, I am –"_

 _"WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!" Ziva crumpled to the ground. She sobbed into the wooden floor._

 _Orli could see then just how broken she really was. She knew that Ziva would be different now to how she was a few months ago when they last saw each other, but this version of Ziva simply scared her. She had never seen Ziva like this._

 _Closing the front door behind her, Orli bent down to Ziva's level. "When Agent DiNozzo first began his search for you, he asked me a similar question. He wanted to know why I was also looking for you. I told him that it was because your father would have wanted to make sure that you were safe. Nothing more, nothing less. And I believed that this was my only reason for doing so. Or at least that is what I was trying to convince myself of."_

 _She took a breath before she continued. "But after a while, I realised that I did not simply want to know, but I needed to know. I needed to know that you were safe. I do not have any family left. I have no one in my life. And while we may not have always seen eye-to-eye… I have always felt protective of you. I see a lot of myself in you. And I do not want you to feel alone like I have done."_

 _Ziva sniffed quietly before she looked up at Orli. "I am not alone anymore."_

 _Orli frowned. "What do you mean."_

 _"I am… pregnant."_

* * *

"I do not think that I have ever seen her so shocked! She really did not expect that! But she was not too surprised at how we spent those few days together."

"I guess I was right. Maybe some things really are inevitable…" They smiled, remembering that conversation in autopsy over a glass of well-needed alcohol. Ziva was happy that her past-self had been wrong about that.

"She waited with me until Nettie came back. And it was VERY interesting when they were in the same room together, considering that my father had an affair with Orli while he was married to my mother, Nettie's sister! But even so, we discussed my pregnancy care. Orli had a close friend, Anna, who was a doctor. She asked her if she would oversee my pregnancy; run blood tests, ultrasound scans, help to answer some of our questions. We quickly set up a routine and before we knew it, it was a new year. Tali was a new start for me…" She trailed off quietly as Tony's eyesight moved to the floor. This was making things awkward again between the pair again. "What about you? Did 2014 bring anything new for you?"

* * *

 **(January 2014)**

"Um… yeah a few new things. But the start of 2014 certainly brought back some old faces."

"Like who?"

"Do you remember when we worked with Hollis Mann?"

"Hollis Mann! Wow, how could I forget?! She certainly left an impression on Gibbs! She was back? I thought that she moved to Hawaii?"

"Well, she did for a while. But then she wanted to go back to work and ended up marrying a surgeon at Walter Reed!"

"NO! I can only imagine how awkward that was for Gibbs! I wonder what Jen would have thought about that!"

"Oh yeah, I never thought about that! Although it was interesting having to explain Hollis to Vance!"

Tony and Ziva laughed together, almost holding onto their sides. They had congregated back to the living room couch and while they were still sat at opposite ends, both of them had their feet up and resting on the foot-stall in front of them. It was nice to have their partner and best friend back. To be able to laugh like they hadn't been able to in three years.

"So why was she there?"

"We were investigating the death of a Petty Officer who had been shot by a US Navy Surveillance Drone. And it turned out that the DOD were investigating the company who made those drones. Hollis was the DOD investigator sent to work with us!"

"Oh no, did they fight over jurisdiction again?!" That made him chuckle again. "I remember that it always surprised you and Tim that Gibbs and Hollis never got married."

"Yeah I know! She was the one that got away… Oh! We showed Bishop the PowerPoint presentation we made about Gibbs' wives!"

"Oh my goodness, you two still have that?! Wow, I remember the day, or rather the evenings, that we all sat down and put that together! Have you been keeping it up-to-date like McGee does with his Jet Packs presentation?!"

"Oh God, if I had to sit through that jet pack presentation one more time!" The pair laughed again, the sound filling the air around the apartment.

However, Tony soon sobered as he remembered what had happened next. "McGee was lucky. Well, in a sense anyways."

His change in mood made Ziva straighten up as well. "What do you mean?"

Tony paused momentarily, twiddling his thumbs slightly. "Did you hear about the drone strike during a Conrad Institute gala?"

She nodded. "Orli informed me that there had been a drone strike, courtesy of Parsa, but she did not reveal more of the particulars."

"Well, Tim's girlfriend Delilah was receiving an award. The Conrad Fellowship. It was a big black-tie event and she had asked McGee to go with her as her plus-one… That event was the target of the drone strike."

"WHAT?!" Ziva yelled, jumping up from the couch. "Are they alright? Were they in the building? Were they hurt?"

Tony had looked straight up at her as she as she had jumped. Her wild, panicked eyes stared into his. He could see just how worried she was; how much she still saw Tim as a big brother. "McGee wasn't in the building at the time. I called his cell and he couldn't hear me so he went outside. He saw the drone hit the building but he wasn't hurt."

"And Delilah?"

"Delilah was injured. She ended up in a wheelchair; paralysed."

"Oh my God." Her hands covered her face as she sank back down to the couch. Why? What did Parsa achieve from that? More innocent lives taken; damaged. Why could none of them ever catch a break? Oh my… how was Delilah? Tim? How did they get through that? Why had she not been there for them? Her head pounded with the noise; her heart ached unbearably with the guilt.

"And now? How are they?" She managed to rasp out.

"Okay, yeah. It took them a while to deal with everything but they really pulled together. Delilah's amazing, she didn't let anything stop her from going back to work and living a normal life. McGee found it really hard to begin with. He was devastated that she had got hurt; tried to throw himself back into work. But he really stepped up; supported her, went above and beyond. He was her rock. He still is." He thought back to some of his and Tim's last talks regarding buying an engagement ring.

"There was another familiar face that was around to help out. Do you remember Dr Rachel Cranston?"

* * *

 _"The-the-the thing that puzzles me, with all this change of allegiance to country, of the type of men you're drawn to, what is it that you're looking for? What is it that you want?"_

 _"I want… something… permanent. Something that can't be taken away. Is that too much to ask?"_

* * *

Ziva would never forget that conversation. She'd lost a lot then and even more since. But she was a different person now to who she was back then. Now she was a mother to the most amazing little girl. Ziva finally had her something permanent. She had strengthened her relationship with Nettie and talked things through with Orli. Now she needed to repair things with her NCIS family. And most importantly, Tony.

"She was doing crisis counselling for the victims and their families. She spoke to Tim in the hospital waiting room. And she also came to the bullpen to speak with him. That's where she ended up talking to Bishop while she was waiting…"

* * *

 _"In case you haven't heard, that's a really good desk."_

 _"Oh… Yeah… I-I know. I mean, I heard… Did you know the agent who sat here before?"_

 _"I knew both of them."_

 _"Well you don't have to tell me. It's pretty clear I'm looking at some gigantic shoes. Unfillable."_

 _"True… But I think both women who sat there would say the same thing. When it comes to growing, there's no better place for a desk than next to those three."_

* * *

"She was not wrong about that. Being around the three of you… you definitely learn so much. Things that you would never expect to. And I guess that is because… you always feel safe. The three of you always had my back, whether I knew it or not at certain points. You pushed me to be a better person. And you are all very caring people who look out for those around you. That environment is so rare. I do not think I ever told you all how much I appreciated what you did for me."

Tony blushed, nodding his gratitude at her comments. "The feeling was mutual. We all knew that you cared for all of us and you made us complete. I don't know if we always appreciated you as much as we should have."

* * *

 **(February 2014)**

His words left Ziva feeling mixed. She felt that they all had appreciated her, but it was Tony's use of the past tense that hurt. She needed to change the subject. "So… how did you find Parsa in the end?" She knew. Of course she did. They would never rest until Parsa had been found.

"Parsa's parents were killed in a drone strike in 2005 and he wanted revenge. It turned out that Bishop had been on the Parsa case with the NSA but they pulled her from it when they saw that she was getting too close. But she and Gibbs took him down in a raid in Pakistan where he was shot in the arm and so he was transferred to The U.S.S. Wilmington. But he demanded to speak to Bishop alone and he ended up sealing off the exit before trying to kill her and then commit suicide. Gibbs got in and shot him twice, dead, before that could happen."

Ziva appeared a little overwhelmed by all of this. "I am glad that Bishop and all of you are alright." She replied sincerely. It was hard to explain how she felt. Relieved that Parsa couldn't hurt anyone else. Guilty for feeling relief that someone was dead. Confused by it all. Her head hurt.

"Thanks… yeah we were just glad it was all over. It's so weird now to think how that was all going on while you were growing a life…"

"I know… When my baby bump first became visible, I just cried. Happy tears. Because I could see our child. I could see so clearly that I was carrying a little piece of you. Of us both. It was… the most amazing feeling."

* * *

 **(March 2014)**

"Did Orli's friend look after you both?"

"Yes. Because I was a high-risk pregnancy because of… Somalia… and as this was my first time being pregnant, I had regular check-ups from Anna."

"Did you find out the gender before the birth?"

* * *

 _The freezing cold gel was smeared over her stomach. It made Ziva jump slightly every time! But it was completely worth it, to be able to see her baby inside her tummy. She was so grateful that she could keep sonogram photos after each scan._

 _"There we are, here is your baby!" Anna announced. The most amazing sight in the entire world. Ziva could hear her baby's heartbeat echoing around the room. Her favourite sound ever. She seriously loved having ultrasounds!_

 _"Ziva? Would you like to know the gender of your baby?" She had been thinking about this for a while now. Weighing up the pros and cons. But her gut had told her from the start her decision about this and she was going to stick to it._

 _"No, thank you. I would like that to be a surprise." She smiled, placing her hand on the side of her baby bump…_

* * *

Tony was actually quite surprised about that. He would have thought that Ziva would have wanted to know. But he felt the same as she had done; he would have wanted it to be a surprise too.

"It truly did not matter to me about whether we had a baby boy or girl. All that I was concerned about was the health of our baby. I just wanted everything to be okay with our child." She felt nervous all of a sudden. She didn't want to worry Tony, but they'd promised to tell each other everything. Tony watched as Ziva started fidgeting. He realised what was coming next and how tough that must be to relive. Ziva exhaled. "However, towards the end of my fifth month, I had a bit of a scare with my pregnancy…"

* * *

 _Ziva and Nettie had been hard at work for the past few hours. Sorting through old childhood boxes; old papers of Eli's; important national security secret files. Well, they were Orli's problem now. And Ziva felt exhausted. Not to mention she had a raging headache that had been going on for the last two hours._

 _As they finished another box, all she could think about was how unbearably hot it had become in the room all of a sudden. She felt as if she was suffocating; being chocked by the muggy temperature. And yet she had grown up in this desert climate! Why was it so hot in that room?_

 _"I am going to the orchard, to get some fresh air."_

 _Ziva stood up quickly, feeling the need to get out of the room. She really needed to feel some fresh air, now._

 _As she stood, the room began to spin around her, but she put that down to her having jumped up so abruptly after she'd been sitting down in the same chair for the past few hours. However, she soon found it increasingly more difficult to walk; instead she found herself stumbling towards the door. Reaching the exit of the room, Ziva suddenly grabbed onto the wooden door. Her dizziness had peaked now._

 _"Ziva?!" Nettie quickly moved over towards her niece._

 _Ziva's eyes rolled back in their sockets and she collapsed to the ground, nearing hitting her head on the door as she went down. The last thing that she heard was someone screaming out her name as her world faded to black…_

 _…_

 _…_

 _…_

 _The darkness surrounded her. That was all that she knew. Until the buzzing and the ringing started sounding in her ears. Ugh, why could someone not turn that incessant noise off!_

 _"Ziva? ZIVA! Ziva, can you open your eyes for me?"_

 _Someone was lightly tapping her face; trying to bring the light back into her world. Cool fingers were gently placed against her neck, checking out her racing pulse. What was going on?_

 _"Ziva, it is Anna. Can you hear me?"_

 _Ziva let out a small moan. Her eyes slowly fluttered open. However, the bright white light was hurting her eyes and she quickly snapped them shut again, slowly moving her left arm over her eyes._

 _"That's it, Ziva. Come on, open your eyes again for us." The voice tried to reason with her. Someone else shut some of the curtains in the room, getting rid of some of that annoying white light._

 _While she was quite happy to go back to sleep, Ziva felt quite anxious that she didn't know what was going on. So she willed her eyes to open and stay open this time. Things were blurry around her for a few moments; she could see rough outlines of someone above her. More than one person? She blinked a few times, which helped to clear things up a bit. Soon she could recognise three faces hovering above her: Nettie, Anna and Orli. Ziva wanted the ground to swallow her up._

 _"Wha… what happened?" She mumbled quietly, not quite able to gain her bearings just yet. Did she slur that?_

 _"You passed out."_

 _Oh._

 _Ziva tried to pull herself into a sitting position, but she did not get very far before she was gently pushed back down to the ground by the older women. They certainly did not want a repeat performance of that, thank you very much!_

 _"What is wrong with her? Why did she collapse?" Nettie questioned as she took her niece's hand._

 _"I am not too sure just yet. Ziva, I need to ask you a few questions. Is that okay?"_

 _Ziva nodded slightly as she moved her hand instinctively moved to cover her bump protectively. Ugh, why did she feel so awful? When had Anna and Orli arrived? How long had she been out? Her mind was spinning._

 _"We were on our way to you for your next check-up. Nettie called us. You were out for 3 minutes." Oh, that explained a few things, she had almost forgotten about her check-up in all of the chaos._

 _"Ziva, have you been experiencing any headaches recently?" Anna questioned gently. Ziva nodded. "Any nausea?" Nod. "Abdominal pain?" No._

 _"Okay, I would like to check your blood pressure." Anna rummaged through her bag, pulling out her sphygmomanometer. Ziva pulled a displeased face as Orli and Nettie helped her to sit up. She hated this thing. It always made your arm tingle and it was making her feel more nauseous right now._

 _The device beeped. Anna let out a low whistle._

 _"What is it? What is wrong?" Ziva felt even more panicked now. Something was wrong. Was her baby alright?!_

 _"Your blood pressure is 144/94."_

 _"What does that mean?" Nettie questioned. She was beyond worried now and clasped hold of Ziva's hand tighter. The two women clung onto each other, both looked incredibly scared._

 _"That is much too high." Anna trailed off, planning her next course of action quickly in her mind. "Ziva, I want to be safe rather than sorry. I want to take a urine sample so that I can check and rule some things out. I will also do another ultrasound scan. That way we can find out what is going on…"_

* * *

"Anna later told us that my high blood pressure and protein found in my urine sample indicated that I had pre-ecclampsia. I was put on a strict bed-rest after that; something that Nettie, Orli and Anna were all _very_ strict about."

"That must have been tough."

"While I was confined to bed-rest, I had a lot of time to think about names for our baby. And obviously, because I did not know then whether we were having a boy or a girl, I thought about different names for each gender. When I joined Mossad, I did not expect to live long enough to ever have children of my own. But after I became an NCIS agent, I allowed myself to think about having kids. Right away, I knew that if I ever had a little girl, I would name her Tali. I wanted to be able to honour my little sister in some way and I wanted her legacy to live on. So when it came to choosing a middle name for her, I knew that I wanted to include you in some way. And so I thought about the team and also your family. When I remembered that your mother's name was Elizabeth, I just knew that it was the perfect name. Talia Elizabeth."

Tony felt overwhelmed by emotions and tried hard not to cry. "I am honoured that you would choose my mother's name as our daughter's middle name. To have a piece of my family… my mom… honoured that way… I really love it. Thank you."

Suddenly, something she had said made him think. "Just out of curiosity, what would you have named our child if you had a baby boy?"

She smirked. "Well, you know what they say, Tony. Curiosity killed the cow."

Some things never change! But he was glad about that. "Cat, Ziva. It's cat. Just humour me? Please?"

Ziva leaned across and whispered the name into his ear. Tony just beamed: that was the perfect name for their baby boy…

* * *

 **Thursday 26th May 2016, Parisian Apartment, France, 3pm**

Tali had managed to sleep for 2 hours before her parents heard shuffling in the bedroom, alerting them that she was awake. After waving her fingers in the air, Ziva knew that Tali wanted to paint. But as getting art supplies would mean travelling further out and with a fussy toddler on their hands, Ziva came up with an idea. Tony covered one of the round coffee tables with a washable mat as Ziva returned from the bathroom. So now the three of them sat around the table, laughing away as they were squirting a tube of toothpaste each onto the mat before writing in the toothpaste mess. And little Tali and Tony were learning how to write Hebrew letters.

Tony continued with his next story. "After Parsa, things calmed down for a bit. But then my father was back in town; said he was there to share some news with me. That he had starting dating this woman. Linda. And they had been seeing each other for a while… and then my father proposed to her."

Ziva's mouth opened slightly and she carefully stared at Tony, trying to gage how he felt about the engagement. "Congratulations to them both." He was trying to look indifferent but Ziva could easily see the underlying guilt in his eyes. It screamed out to her so clearly, which confused her. Why would he feel guilty? "How did you take the news?"

"Well, it's wasn't like he hadn't been down this road before. Only it was a little more complicated than that this time. You see… Linda was my mother's best friend. And my Godmother."

Ding! "Oh… wow!" Now his reaction made sense.

"I didn't know what to think. I'd known Linda when I was a kid, and I'd always liked her. But I felt like I was betraying my mom. Turns out, he was feeling the same way. Needed to get my approval of their relationship. And once I'd got over how weird I thought it was initially, I realised that my mom would actually have been really happy for the both of them. She would have wanted them to be happy."

 _"I know mom would approve."_

 _"That's what I needed to hear."_

Ziva leaned across the table and took his hands in her own, neither caring about the toothpaste over themselves as they locked onto each other's' eyes. No words were needed; Ziva and Tony were masters at reading each other, at non-verbal communication. And Tony could see that Ziva recognised just how hard that was for him and how proud she was.

"However, while all of this was going on, Palmer and Breena were getting ready to adopt a baby. They had been chosen by a pregnant woman to become adoptive parents. And by mid-March, she had gone into labour. They were so excited to be parents: Palmer was practising how to change diapers and use the car-seat at work, with Abby, Ducky and Bishop helping him out. But after she had given birth… she changed her mind and decided that she wanted to keep her baby."

"Oh… my goodness. Jimmy… Breena… I am so sorry for them. Just…" What could she say? Nothing could change that or make it better. "How did they take that?"

"They were just… devastated. Heartbroken. Palmer came back to work and told Abby, but he just broke down in tears. Breena couldn't look at all of the baby items that were laying around their house. She asked Jimmy to take them all out so he brought them to NCIS. Gibbs had a word with him: told him to keep on fighting for his family."

She was stunned by disbelief. Completely. Things were supposed to be better for them now she had left! They did not deserve this to happen to them.

* * *

 **(April 2014)**

"And then there was McGee and Delilah. They were doing well; they had been going out for about a year. They're good together, they really are. Complementary. And McGee wanted to take the next step. Give her a key to his apartment. But then, we ended up working on a case with her when she pulled me to one side. Told me that there was a great job offer going that she wanted to go for but she was hadn't told McGee. And Tim was worried that she was trying to lose her job at the D.O.D. when in fact she was trying to move up and do more."

"What was the catch?"

Tony smiled sadly. Of course there was a catch. "The job was in Dubai."

"Oh…"

"I couldn't keep that from him, so I went to McGee. He had to know what was going on and how she was feeling. And well, they had a little talk and he told her to follow her dreams."

 _"I think that you should go for that job in Dubai. Tony told me about it. And if it's what you want, then I want it for you."_

"Did she take it?"

"Yeah… but she made the McSqueeze agree to one condition!" Ziva frowned, confused. "She would only take the job if they agreed to make a long-distance relationship between them work. So Tim finally gave her the key to his apartment, for when she got back home."

"Now that is wonderful! He is so ready to settle down. I am so happy for him; for both of them." She beamed from ear to ear, like the proud little sister that she felt like to her McBigBrother.

* * *

 **(May 2014)**

Tony shared that same proud smile as he smudged a bit of toothpaste onto Tali's cheek, making her pause and then giggle. "And then things were starting to look up. Breena sent Jimmy two pictures one day during work. One of a bun, the second of an oven."

Her eyes instantly lit up as she gasped. "WOW! Aww… Jimmy is a father! After everything that happened, that is so wonderful for them both! Orli told me about this, but that is still amazing!" That brought Ziva back to the case where she had to go undercover as a pregnant woman, where she wore that yellow "Bun in the oven" shirt.

 _"I remember that case! That's the pregnancy pact!"_

 _"You looked good in that."_

 _"I still would."_

"Poor kid had no idea what Breena's message meant, so I had to tell him, it was so funny! Unfortunately, about a week later, Gibbs got called into Vance's office. He'd had a call. About Jackson." Tony cleared his throat; it was not easy to relive this. "He was in the store… when he had a stroke. And he never recovered from that. He passed away."

She could not believe that the majestic, kind-hearted man was no longer alive. The sweet, wise man who she had first met and spoken with so easily in Stillwater. Who had made those amazing Christmas cookies. Made toys for the children with his son. Gave the most amazing hugs. This had to be a dream. A terrible dream.

"There was this young man who worked there. Frazier, Cal Frazier. Jackson helped him out; stopped him from mixing with the wrong people; got him out of trouble. Taught him about how to work in and run a store. And Cal loved it there so he stayed on. He was there when… on the day that Jackson… passed away. He was devastated that he couldn't save him. So when Gibbs went there to sort things out, Cal tried to give his own keys to the store back to Gibbs; thinking that he would want to sell the place. But Gibbs told him that Jackson would have wanted him to run the store."

Ziva had tears running down her face again. She was so glad about the shop, but how could he be gone? "Jackson was… such a lovely man. A real gentle soul. If I would have known, I would have…"

"You would have what, Ziva? Sent a card; flowers; come back to the states?" He knew that came out harsh.

"I don't know. I mean… I would certainly have wanted to go."

"Ha, I would like to have seen that discussion!"

She frowned. "What?"

"Weren't you put on bed rest? And you would have been, what… 7 months pregnant at the time?"

Oh. He was right. There was no way that Nettie, Anna and Orli would have let her go.

* * *

 **(June 2014)**

Tony then realised something. She was 7 months pregnant in May. 8 months in June. Tali was born premature. "Can you tell me about Tali's birth please?"

"I was 8 months pregnant by mid-June 2014. And I did not know why at the time, but I just felt so uncomfortable all day. My back was hurting but that was a pretty normal occurrence throughout my pregnancy. I was having these weird twinges and I just felt so tired but I had not done much at all. I just put it down to a combination of the pre-eclampsia and Braxton Hicks. After all, I was not due for another few weeks. "So I tried to get some sleep and see if I felt any better afterwards…"

* * *

 _"Ziva, you need to try to rest." Nettie told her. She was starting to worry about her niece's recent restlessness._

 _"I am going to sit outside for a few minutes."_

 _As she moved towards the door, Ziva cried out and clutched onto the side of the kitchen counter._

 _"Ziva! Ziva, what is wrong?"_

 _"Ahh!" She whimpered, feeling something run down her legs._

 _Nettie gasped. "Your water has broken!"_

 _Ziva's face went white. She was absolutely terrified. She couldn't do this. Oh, this hurt so much already! "I am calling Orli and Anna!"_

(Hours later…)

 _"Congratulations, Ziva! You have a beautiful little girl!" Ziva collapsed back as she heard her new baby cry out. She was a mother!_

 _Anna cleaned the baby before wrapping her in a soft blanket. "Here is your baby, Ziva. Well done!"_

 _Ziva stared lovingly into her child's eyes before she gasped. "Oh…!"_

 _"Ziva?" Anna questioned, alarmed._

 _"Green eyes! She has green eyes! Our little girl has her father's eyes, oh Tony!"_

 _Nettie and Orli smiled at each other. "What are you going to name her, my child?" Nettie asked._

 _Ziva smiled up at her. "I always promised myself, that if I ever had a child, I wanted to give her an honourable name. And I want her to always have a piece of her father with her too."_

 _"And…? What is her name?"_

 _"Talia Elizabeth DiNozzo."_

* * *

"As soon as I saw her… it was just love at first sight. Her green eyes I loved from the start. So peaceful. It reminded me of something that Leyla has said to me… ' _I want that peace to remain in her eyes forever.'_ I knew what she had felt. She was perfect from the start."

Both glanced at their daughter, covered in toothpaste but so full of joy. Their toddler, so oblivious to the bad in the world. To the tough memories her parents were reliving. The first year was sorted, but there were still two to go. They were emotionally drained already. But it would only get harder, especially looking at what happened next. When Tony moved on…

* * *

 **A/N: Woah… one down, two to go! So now Tony and Ziva have told each other what happened during their first year, it's onto year two/season 12. Also, sorry for not revealing what Ziva had chosen as a baby name for if she'd had a baby boy! You will find out, probably not for quite some time though… I've got the name sorted but I'm really interested to hear your ideas on the names! In regards to Bishop, I'm not going to bash her in this fic. While personally I may not be a fan of the character (although I like EW), I just don't think that Ziva would dislike her. I think she would feel slightly weird about someone else sitting at her desk but she'd be pretty grateful to her for being there for her team. THANK YOU for reading! :)**


	14. Chapter 14: The Third Step- Satisfaction

**Hello again everyone! Long time, no see! First of all, Happy New Year! I hope you all have an amazing 2017! I am so sorry about the whole disappearing act! I've just finished my first term as a teacher and I'm loving it, but there's just so much work that I've had no free time to write. The staff are so nice and I love my class! So, while I've got a bit of time over the holidays, I have been getting back into the world of fanfiction (and marking books hehe)! Woo I've really missed this place and all of you guys! Thank you all so much for all of your amazing support and kind words, it really encourages me to keep writing and keep the Tivaness alive (as we know it should be and is!). I seriously cannot believe how lucky I am to have your support and I am hugely grateful to each and every one of you. I've made a lot of friends out of writing this story and I'm loving getting to share this story with you, sharing the love of Tiva and getting to know you better :D**

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* * *

 **Chapter 14 – Satisfaction:**

 **Thursday 26th May 2016, Parisian Apartment, France, 8am**

* * *

 **(September 2014)**

"Do you remember IT Kevin?"

That certainly threw a spanner into the works. His was not a name that Ziva expected to come up today, which piqued her curiosity. "I do, yes. He helped us out with Ajay Khan. Why?"

"Kevin was in Moscow visiting his sick uncle, who later died. But he felt like he was being followed so he went to the US Embassy. And because of all the classified information he knew, they needed someone to escort him back to DC. SecNav chose Gibbs!"

Ziva's eyebrows shot up in surprise, causing Tony to chuckle lightly. "Yeah I know; boss-man was less than impressed! Anyway, he and McGee picked Kevin up in a chopper, curtesy of the US Navy, but on the way back, they were hit by a missile and they went down."

"Were they all okay?" Her mouth fell open slightly and she leaned closer towards him, almost demanding a quick response from him. It was clear to Tony that while Ziva may have found a new path in life, she still cared immensely about her old teammates; her old friends.

"Few cuts and bruises, but they were alright for the most part. Unfortunately, the two pilots didn't make it." Ziva sighed softly and bowed her head out of respect, shaking her head a little. She may not have known them, but they did not deserve that. There had been too much death.

Her reactions were starting to concern Tony, but he decided to continue for now, knowing she wouldn't want any fuss. "We were sent the last radio transmission, from which Abby was able to determine that the missiles fired at the helicopter had been stolen from Libya by a Russian mercenary group."

The wheels were turning in her mind, trying to solve the mystery jigsaw puzzle. Why did the Russians want to shoot down US navy cops? Tony continued, filling in some more of the missing details for her. "Ducky notified Kevin's sister that he was missing, however she told him that she didn't know Kevin was going to Russia. She thought her uncle was in remission. Ducky and Palmer later found out that his uncle died from two gunshot wounds and that he had a micro-disk in him."

That made Ziva scoff and groan internally, which in turn caused Tony smirk at her. Thinking back to her experiences at NCIS, no good ever came from micro-disks being inserted into someone. Or just from them being around full stop. "Kevin eventually confessed that he had been approached by a man months before, who had offered him money in exchange for information about a weapon. He accepted the deal but later backed out, before he'd found his uncle dead."

"So, then what was the micro-disk for?" Ziva questioned, scrunching her eyebrows slightly.

"Kevin inserted it into the body; it contained a computer virus that could attack any defence system. McGee was able to get through to me and warn us but Abby had already accessed the disk, uploading the virus onto our computers and phones."

Ziva opened her mouth, about to ask whether they had been alright, but Tony sensed this and beat her to the punch. "We were all good. Bishop was still able to find their coordinates and I got straight on a plane after them. She then accessed a satellite feed and found them heading towards Finland's border but they were being followed by three men. When Kevin took a bullet, Gibbs made him and McGee go on ahead while he held them off. I picked them both up in my jeep before finding Gibbs. He shot the last mercenary before coming with us."

"So, their plan was to lure out Gibbs?" She felt a bit taken aback. Why was Gibbs of interest to the Russians, so much so that they wanted to kill him?

He scoffed, nodding his head. "Oh yeah, pretty much. The ringleader, he wanted revenge for something that had happened years before. Gibbs took someone from him. And he felt that it was payback time."

Ziva thought back; who could possibly want to kill Gibbs? She started racking her brain; she had a gut feeling that Tony had mentioned this person before. But who? Someone who'd gone after Gibbs… Then she remembered a name that Tony had mentioned.

"Sergei Mishnev?"

Tony nodded his confirmation. "He got added to The Wall pretty quickly after that!"

"But… why? He was dead? Was he not?"

Tony cleared his throat, just as he always did when he was a little nervous. He leaned forward, clasping his hands together in front of him, looking her in the eyes. Ziva knew then that whatever this was, that this was much bigger than she had first thought this was. "Vance later informed Gibbs that Sergei had survived. He wanted to get back at NCIS and Gibbs… for Ari's death."

No.

Ziva paled immediately. Sergei shot down a plane, killing two innocent people, and chased another three, all because of Ari? To avenge his death? Because she'd killed him?

No more.

She shot up and hurried out of the room. She needed space to clear her head. Ziva went straight to the kitchen, leaning over the cool sink. WHY?! Why couldn't her past just stop haunting her? Why couldn't it stop hurting those she cared deeply about, even though she'd removed herself from the equation?

Ziva cried out in pure frustration and kicked the sink unit angrily, muttering some Hebrew curse words under her breath. Placing her hands on the cool work-top, she leaned over the sink, inhaling, then exhaling deeply, trying to calm herself down. After a few moments, Ziva was able to compose herself enough and turn around to go and find Tony again. However, she soon discovered that he had followed her and was standing by the entrance to the kitchen. Ziva began to feel embarrassed about her reaction and being caught releasing her anger in this way.

To Tony's credit, he was a true gentleman and she could see he wasn't judging her in the slightest. Hell, he could understand why she was angry and just let her show this openly. He was her strong, silent rock. Their eyes met and locked onto one another's; a silent conversation playing out between the two old partners, dancing around in the air, sparking off each other. Yep… they could still tell what the other one was thinking.

"Who was he to you?" He knew she might need some help to get through this conversation.

Ziva ran her hand through her hair, pushing it all onto one side. "I did not know him all that well. I only met him a few times when Ari was around in Israel. He was Ari's friend. I never knew how they met; Ari kept that detail pretty quiet. But I was not a big fan of Sergei's. I just got a bad feeling from him. I guess now I know why."

"Yeah…" He trailed off.

The nerves were increasing more now. Ziva started playing with the left sleeve of her jumper, rolling it up and down her arm slightly, again and again. Her nervousness didn't go unnoticed. "I… I never wanted any of this to happen. I thought… well, I had hoped that by me leaving, you would all be better off. Safe from my past and my mistakes. I was fed up with you all getting hurt because of me. Why could he not just leave you alone?" She muttered that last part, more to herself than to him.

Tony was trying so hard to avoid going down that road. He certainly didn't blame Ziva for Sergei's or Ari's actions, and he knew that no one else did either, including Gibbs.

"Why did he wait so long? Ari died so many years ago, why did Sergei act on it after so long?" She questioned.

He looked away for a moment and shrugged, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "I don't know. Maybe all of the pieces lined up for him; maybe he wasn't in a position to do anything beforehand. I guess we'll never know."

Ziva sat on one of the kitchen chairs and leaned her head into her left hand, glancing downwards almost resignedly. To her it wasn't a good enough answer, but she knew that that certainly wasn't Tony's fault. Only Sergei could truly answer that. Tony knew she was frustrated with the situation and herself, but he wanted her to see that there was nothing that she could have done.

"You know, the whole situation reminded me of when we had the Pedro Hernandez case. When the Reynosa cartel was around and Paloma and Alejandro were trying to hurt Gibbs because he killed their dad, who had killed Shannon and Kelly."

Her interested look willed him to continue. "Gibbs' past came back to haunt him. We all put our careers and lives on the line. We never thought twice about it. Because we knew Gibbs' reasons for his past actions and we wanted to protect him."

"You do what you have to do for family." She stated, quoting the unwritten rule.

Tony smiled widely at her for that, before sobering up again. "At the time, did you ever blame Gibbs for what happened in that case?"

"No." She answered straight away.

"Then you know why no-one else blamed you for Ari or Sergei. So why do you blame yourself?"

Ziva tried to formulate a reply, but she was stumped. Ugh, she hated it when he was right.

Tony smiled to himself. ' _Gotcha'_ , he thought. "A week later, Vance confided in Gibbs that his doctor had found spots on his lungs and that he was waiting to have a CAT scan done the following day. They suspected that it was advanced stage lymphoma and when Vance showed the X-ray images to Ducky, he admitted that things looked bad. But Vance was more worried about Kayla and Jared. They'd already lost their mother and experienced something that nobody should ever go through. He didn't want them to be hurt any more. So, after speaking with Ducky, Vance re-drafted his will and sorted out who would get custody of his kids, before he went into surgery the following day to get a lung biopsy."

Ziva crossed her fingers. "How did everything go?"

"Good, really good. Luckily, the surgeon told Kayla, Lara, and Gibbs that Vance had a viral condition, not cancer."

Ziva breathed a loud sigh of relief, resting her head in her hands for a moment before composing herself and straightening back up. "Good, that family have been through enough. That is amazing news!"

* * *

 **(October 2014)**

"Luckily Vance recovered pretty quickly. And then things started moving fast again. Then all of a sudden, it was October 1st. A year since I had left you in Israel." Ziva wanted to look away, feeling horrible that she had hurt him, but made herself face her past.

"That day was tough." He recalled. Remembering what had happened in Israel… how close I had come to convincing you to come back… I started thinking that I'd failed again. And I was letting thoughts of you, what you might be doing, where you might be, consume me. I guess the team knew well enough to leave me alone. They knew that I just wanted time to myself. Unfortunately, we got given a case. And not a particularly nice one."

"We found a Navy research scientist in the park; her head had been severed by some sort of motorised garrotte. She was from Moscow but had been granted US citizenship. And we ended up working with the FBI…"

Ziva was immediately concerned by his troubled expression. "What is it?"

"One of the FBI agents, in particular, we worked closely with… Leia. And after the case we… dated."

Tony felt very uncomfortable talking about this, but he wanted to be completely honest with Ziva. He could feel that he was starting to berate himself for his past actions. ' _No. I don't have anything to hide or feel guilty about. It was Ziva's choice to leave and she told me to move on. I didn't do anything wrong… did I? No, Tony, stop thinking like that!'_

She could see the guilt on his face. And she wanted nothing more than to take this away from him. But he wasn't done just yet. "Anyway, that only lasted less than a week. We just weren't meant to be." Ziva couldn't help but feel relieved. _'Why do I feel this way? I should be happy that he is in a relationship. Maybe it is because you are still in love with him? But I have no right to be…'_

Now came the hard part. "However, we then got another case. A Navy SEAL Commander's wife was killed but it was believed that he was the intended target. And while we were out in the field, we ran into an old colleague of mine from Philadelphia PD. Well, technically she ran into me. Zoe. She had moved on to become an ATF special agent. During the case, we talked, got reacquainted. And later on, we decided to start dating. Over time… it become a long-term relationship."

"Oh."

Ziva felt her heart smash into a million pieces. While she may have already known about Zoe (curtesy of Orli), it didn't make it any easier to hear. _'We have been under this before, you have no right to feel angry or jealous! You are the one who asked him to move on!' S_ he knew that she could only blame herself for that one. She made Tony leave, she chose not to be in a relationship with him at that moment in time, as she was in a very bad, destructive mindset and it was not the right time for her. So she told him to move on, not to wait for her, no matter how much it hurt her to say those words. But she'd had no right to ask him to wait. And it was right that he'd moved on. But she couldn't deny the pain her heart felt.

"Tony… I am the one who made you leave. I wanted you to move on. And you did…" Ziva began, going back to playing with the sleeve of her jumper. She could feel herself getting choked up, but tried to will back the tears. "I cannot deny that this is not hard, but you did the right thing. You should not have waited forever for me to sort myself out. You had every right to move on and be happy; there was no way that I was going to force you to wait for me, just in case I decided to come back. I am happy for you. Truly I am." With that, she leaned forward and took his hands in hers; wanting to show him just how much she meant her words.

Tony gazed deep into her eyes, seeking out the truth in her words. He saw instantly that she wasn't just saying those things to make him feel better, she really did mean everything. It made the tears of relief start to run down his face, and he brought their clasped hands up to his lips and kissed the back of her hands. It certainly helped to hear those words from her. They were healing lots of wounds between them, which would only repair their relationship…

* * *

 **(November 2014)**

After that, Tony and Ziva needed a little time apart to gather their thoughts and regroup. Ziva cooked some breakfast for them all, while Tony bathed and dressed their daughter, who was in a very squirmy and cheeky mood today! The three of them sat down around the kitchen table, where Ziva fussed over Tali and Tony flicked through the newspaper, trying to make up stories to go with the text in French that he really had no clue about! Ziva could help but laugh at this, and at how domestic they had become. Who would have guessed that this is what would have transpired?!

"So, how were things in Israel after you'd had Tali?" Tony asked, placing the paper down on the table in front of him.

Ziva put the plastic cutlery down now that Tali had finished her breakfast. "Okay, I guess… tough at times. But I fell in love with Tali from the first moment that I held her. I had never felt that sort of connection to anyone before… it was so strange that she completely depended upon me. She seemed to grow up so quickly. And I loved that she looked like both you and me. She was beautiful, still is." Ziva paused for a moment, taking a moment to tuck a loose curl behind Tali's ear. "But at the same time, I felt very… overwhelmed. I had no idea what I was doing and there were times when I did not believe that I could be a good mom to her. I was really thankful and glad to have Nettie with me, and Orli and Shmeil visited often. They helped me to baby-proof the farmhouse, although Tali always made sure to find more things for us to baby-proof! Nettie helped me to change and feed her, and helped me through her grumpy spells. Especially when she was teething, she was very unhappy! But overall, things were okay."

Tony wasn't sure how to respond. He too was thankful that Ziva wasn't on her own, but he felt disappointed that he couldn't have been there. But, they'd discussed that already, and they would do again in the future. But now was not the right time. He needed to learn new things about the last three years. "Did she let you guys get any sleep?"

Ziva scoffed. "Not really, it was tiring constantly living off of broken sleep. It was hard adjusting to the lack of sleep. It is funny, you would think that after years of long nights filled with stake-outs and paperwork that I would have been used to little sleep and catching whenever possible. Little did I know!"

"Did she wake you up a lot during the nights?"

"Yes, quite often. Sometimes, she would want comforting, but most of time she just wanted to be fed. She really does have your appetite and love of food!"

That made Tony beam from ear-to-ear. "Well I'm very glad to hear that my food gene was passed on to the next DiNozzo!" He moved to tousle Tali's hair, which made the little girl in question to stare up at her Abba and giggle. _"I was just gonna tousle your hair. Sometimes it makes you smile." 'Like mother, like daughter.'_

Ziva watched the father/daughter scene in front of her with a sad smile. She was so happy that they had finally met, but they should have formed this bond years ago. And that was down to her. "What is it?" Tony queried, noticing her strange look.

Ziva didn't want to share this next piece of information, but Tony had been truthful with her and she needed to be the same. "The hardest part was… dealing with my… feelings." At his baffled look, she explained what she meant. "Nettie tried to get me to talk to someone. She told Orli that she was worried that I had post-partum depression."

"Did you?" Tony asked. The thought of Ziva being depressed alarmed him greatly.

"A little. I was just… that every time I looked at Tali, I thought of you straight away. Her eyes are all you, Tony. And while it was so amazing to be able to keep a little piece of you with me for always, it reminded me of what I had done to you. I felt so guilty that you were not in Tali's life and that you had no knowledge about her. I hated keeping your child away from you. But, as I discussed with Nettie, Shmeil and Orli on a number of occasions over the years, I was not going to disrupt and destroy your life, especially after I had made you leave. It was not fair to you. However, in retrospect… I should have told you. I should have found the courage and given you the choice. I really am sorry, Tony. I know that – "

"Hey, we've talked about this, yeah? It's gonna take me a while… maybe longer… to work through that fully. But, I'm thrilled to be in her life now. We can't change the past, but we can move forward, okay?"

Ziva promised herself that she wasn't going to cry any more, but she came close to breaking that. Again. After all that she had done… she didn't deserve him in her life.

Tony wanted to quickly move away from that conversation again. He knew that one day they'd get over that, but not without a profound level of work on both sides. He just hoped that she could forgive herself one day.

"How much did she weigh?"

"What?" Ziva looked at him strangely, snapping back to reality. "How much did she weigh?" he asked again. Ziva thought for a moment, then she exclaimed "Oh, that reminds me! Nettie insisted that I have one of these for Tali." Ziva quickly stood up left the room and went back into the master bedroom. Tony heard that she was searching (noisily) for something and exchanged confusion glances with Tali. Finally, Ziva hurried back into the room and placed something down on the table in front of him.

It was a book. A new baby journal. Inside it contained lots of information about baby Tali: her height (18.5 inches), weight (6 pounds, 8 ounces), tiny little hand and foot prints, the first time she crawled, walked, talked. Tony was mesmerised by this little treasure and spent several minutes flicking through the pages, carefully reading and absorbing as much information as he could, almost as if he may never see this book again. He would have to thank Nettie for encouraging Ziva to have a baby journal. Although it would never replace real memories, he was glad to have something that he could keep forever.

"Wow. I'm so glad she got you do this. Thank you for sharing his with me." Tony spoke softly. He could feel the tears forming and beginning to gently flow from his eyes.

"Me too." Ziva smiled, glad that her aunt's insistence had paid off.

"So, how is your fish?" she asked, moving the conversation back into his court.

"Good, yeah they're good thanks. My father's looking after them at the moment."

Ziva nodded, until she realised what was wrong with that sentence. "Wait, _them_?"

Tony stiffened, realising what he had let slip. Ah. He was gonna keep that one quiet. "Oh yeah, I bought another fish. Did I not tell you?"

"To go with Kate?"

"Yeah… yeah."

"What did you name your new pet?"

"Um…"

"Nothing, why does it matter?" Tony tried to avoid answering this.

"Come on, Tony, what did you call your fish?" Ziva was confused. She couldn't understand why he was being so evasive. It was only a fish.

Tony sighed. He knew that she was not gonna let this go until he'd given her an answer, although she may regret that afterwards. "Ziva." He tried to mumble under his breath.

"You named a fish after me?" She was hugely surprised.

"Yeah."

"Well, when I saw that it was coming up to your birthday, I started to think about you again. And I knew that I wanted to have a little reminder of you in my life, even if you couldn't be. When I saw my Kate fish, I knew that having a Ziva fish would be perfect."

Ziva felt speechless. "I… I do not really know what to say." She admitted. It felt a little weird that Tony had a fish named after her, but she was also deeply touched. He could have wanted her gone from his life forever, but he still wanted a little piece of her with him, just as she had. Perhaps there was hope for them both, yet… But that was dangerous to assume and she couldn't let herself think like that, especially not now.

Tony had gone red and so cleared his throat, trying to cover-up the awkwardness. Now it was his turn to deflect the conversation and try to hide his embarrassment. "All of a sudden, it had been a year since we'd first met Bishop. Nine months since she'd started her Probie training to be an NCIS special agent. Which meant that it was time for her Probie eval."

Ziva couldn't hold back a groan. "Oh yes, I certainly remember _that_! That eval was horrible, I hated waiting around for that and taking all of those tests!" That was bringing back painful memories of written tests and training exercises, least of all that stupid one that was designed for you to fail!

Tony chuckled; he could easily recall Ziva's distaste at the probie eval. Hell, pretty much the whole building could remember that! "Haha, I know, didn't we all! It never made sense to me why we took all those tests and ended up with a low score. What did you even score, again? You never told us?" He probed cheekily, hoping to force it out of her.

"What makes you think that I am going to tell you now?" She remarked with a smirk and a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

' _Grr, she saw right through that one! Still a ninja then. Some things really do never change.'_ And he was certainly glad about that one. "Fine, I won't push it further. Besides, you'll tell me soon enough, one way or another!" He had his ways of making her talk (he hoped).

She simply rolled her eyes at him. "How did she find it all?" Now Tony wanted to roll his eyes back at her. She always was the master of deflection and segways. But he decided to humour her anyway.

"Okay, I guess. Couple of probie mistakes, but nothing that the rest of us hadn't done over the years. Her overall eval on the other hand was certainly the topic of conversation for a while though!"

At her frown, he expanded on this. "She scored an 82."

 _Huh?_ Now that she hadn't seen coming. It certainly made her jaw drop. "Wow…" She managed to stammer out. An 82? Had she heard that right? She must have done judging by what Tony had implied beforehand. _'But didn't Gibbs give low scores? So then why… I am not surprised that this was topical around the building.'_

It was sort of amusing for Tony to watch the myriad of emotions running across Ziva's face. Shock. Confusion. Reflection. Either she'd gotten better at showing her emotions or he'd gotten better at reading her. Maybe it was a mixture of both. "Surprised much? I know Tim and I sure as hell were."

His voice was the catalyst to knock her out of her slight stupor. She found herself gazing back into his eyes, seeking out the story behind this with a child-like curiosity. Only he and Tali truly knew how to bring out that side in her. "Yes… I thought that Gibbs always gave out low scores on that. What did you score again?"

"58. And McSmartyPants scored a 63."

"So then why… I mean… I do not get it. Did Bishop know about Gibbs and him usually being tough with his scores?"

"Not at first… until Ducky accidentally let it slip before he knew what she had scored."

* * *

" _Don't fret your number. Jethro gives low scores, well, to push you."_

" _Wait, what?!"_

" _The lower the score, the more potential Gibbs thinks you have."_

" _Uh, so if you got a high score?"_

" _Well then, I would advise you to turn in your badge."_

* * *

"Yeah… suffice to say, that one really got to her. She spent ages agonising over why she'd been given a high score. And you could see she was starting to doubt her abilities and her place on the team again. That she was starting to question whether or not Gibbs thought she could make it as an NCIS agent. And of course, when that happens, you lose focus. Make mistakes. And she did."

At Ziva's confused but concerned expression, he continued. "She let a suspect get away. Gibbs told her to cover the back and she didn't."

"Oh no. We've have all been there. I bet Gibbs did not take too kindly to that!" Ziva replied sympathetically. She herself had made that mistake in the past and could recall how Gibbs had reacted.

"Actually, when she tried to apologise to him, he told her that it was fine!"

Her mouth fell wide open, and Ziva was certain that if she had been drinking anything at the time, she would have spat it out and choked on her disbelief.

"Haha, I know, that's exactly how Tim and I looked too!"

"Okay now you are pulling my arm!"

"Leg, pulling my leg!" God he'd missed correcting her little Ziva-isms. It kind of amazed him how quickly he'd slipped back into that old habit like it was the most natural thing in the world. He was going to have to start a running tally again. And bring out his Ziva-isms book to add more to the collection…!

"No I'm being serious. Well, he may not have said it in those exact words, or in any words really, after all he is still a functional mute, but he certainly didn't berate her much for it! He just sort of… breezed over it."

"I do not understand."

"Yeah, you're not the only one. I found myself wondering why Gibbs was going easy on her. We all found it strange and out of character for him. Even Bishop was questioning why he was acting this way towards her. And after I'd left the office that evening, it hit me. Suddenly, I put two and two together."

"What happened?" she asked softly, curious as to where this story was going to lead. She had been racking her brain and just couldn't think of an explanation as to why Gibbs was acting so strangely.

"That evening, I was heading out to the theatre. I was on my way to watch a ballet this time, in case you were wondering! I loved the opera last year, but I wanted something different."

Ziva was confused. _What was he talking about? The theatre? What was he doing at a ballet? Why would Tony go to see a ballet?_ Suddenly, it hit her. _My birthday?_ Could it be?

Tony saw the moment that she had her lightbulb moment. The moment her sparkling brown eyes met his wise green orbs. He gently smiled at her; the smile fully extending to those eyes of his. "Gibbs obviously knew that it was your birthday, and that it had been just over a year since you had left. He had clearly been thinking about you and was starting to blame himself for you wanting out of this life and our lives."

This made Ziva frown deeply. "Why would he blame himself? I left for my own personal reasons. He did not do anything wrong, none of you had! I know that our final phone conversation had been pretty intense, but it was not his fault that I could not deal with that way of life anymore and that I wanted out."

Tony sighed, where should he begin with this one? "After you left… Gibbs was pretty angry and upset. You could clearly see it. I don't think he quite knew or understood your reasons; couldn't work out that you'd been so unhappy with your old life. But when the one-year mark reached us, he started feeling guilty about his actions and started blaming himself for you leaving. He felt that he had pushed you too hard over the years. Was too tough on you. He liked to favour the tough-love approach when it came down to all of us, including you. And I guess he started to believe that if he had been less harsh towards you, then maybe you would have stayed. That maybe you would have been happier with your life…"

* * *

" _Bishop. You were right."_

" _I was?"_

" _I have been going easy on you. But it's got nothing to do with you."_

" _I don't understand."_

" _It's about that desk. Lost two people off that desk. Good people. That's on me. I was doing something wrong. When something's wrong, you change it."_

* * *

"Even after you'd left, you were still leaving a mark on us. Gibbs wanted to change his ways for you. He was fed up of losing people off of that desk; he was fed up of feeling that he had let both you and Kate down. He felt that he was the source of the problem, so he tried to change."

Ziva couldn't believe what she was hearing. Gibbs tried to change himself… for her? Or partly due to her. It wasn't his fault that she left. He had become a father figure to her; he had taught her so much during her time there. He had shown her that there were people who valued and loved her; that she could have fun. He gave her a family. She wanted to speak with him; let him know that he was not to blame.

Yet again, she didn't have to say a word. Tony could easily see what she was thinking. "Bishop set him straight. Told him that it wasn't his fault. Told him that he'd also moulded McGee and I, and that we were amazing agents. She wanted to be like us, so she asked him to start pushing her like he had done to us. I think that gave him some confidence back to do so."

She looked back at him and smiled sadly. Ziva was glad that he had gone back to his old ways. "So… how was the ballet?"

Tony smiled, reminiscing on that evening. "Beautiful, actually. This time, it was at the Eisenhower Theatre where they were putting on a production of 'Little Dancer', I believe it was called. I'd never seen a ballet in my life, never in a theatre at least, if we don't include movies. Cos, you know, there were a few times where we'd watch something like Billy Elliot or Flashdance, was it? Anyways, you started to bring those to our movie nights towards the end. And they were doing all these cool moves like – "

Tony stood up and tried to mimic those beautiful, graceful ballet moves around the kitchen table. He tried to replicate those arabesques, jetés, pirouettes (where he very nearly fell on his backside!), flapping his arms up and down. All of a sudden, this wonderful sound started which made him stop. To him, it didn't matter how that move was going to end. Because the most beautiful sound had overtaken the room. No, it had set the room alight. He'd tried so hard for years to elicit that sound.

Looking back, Tony found that both Tali and Ziva were sitting there laughing at his mad antics, when Tali asked to be put down to the ground. After Ziva complied with her daughter's wish, their young daughter then started to copy his funny moves, giggling to herself. Tony's heart started to swell; he couldn't be prouder that he'd evoked this response. Not wanting to miss out on the fun, Ziva took hold of Tali's hands and started to dance around with her. Now both of his girls were giggling again. So, Tony lifted Tali up onto his shoulders and took Ziva into his arms, spinning them both around the room.

If he could have a soundtrack to die to, the sound of Ziva and Tali laughing had to be the main feature…

* * *

"How did _you_ spend your birthday?"

"I actually had forgotten about it. I was so wrapped up in Tali, that I lost track of my birthday. But, Nettie and Shmeil had remembered and they put up some decorations around the house and insisted on baking a cake. You should have seen Tali; she had been covered in flour where she had tried to help them!" They both chuckled at that. "It was quiet, but I was glad about that. I've never really liked celebrating my birthday. I much prefer other people's birthdays."

"What about your sister, did you get to go to the opera for her birthday?"

He remembered, of course he did. "With Tali being so little still, I did not want to be away from her. But I still wanted honour my sister and share her with her namesake. Then, I remembered what you had done when the opera had been sold out. You had played opera music through the speakers in the bullpen. And you had made a CD of opera music that you let me keep. Well… I had taken that with me, and I played it through the house that day, sharing family stories with Nettie and Tali."

"You took the CD with you to Israel?" He asked with a sense of surprise in his voice.

"Of course I did. I love that CD, and not just the music, but the fact that it had been made by you. It is something that is special to me. You made that so that I could still experience the opera and remember my little sister; that really meant a lot to me, Tony. Thank you."

Tony smiled. "You're welcome." He was glad that she liked it and humbled that it meant so much to her. That she appreciated what he had done for her.

"Tali loved it too. She tried to babble along to the words, which Nettie thought would be good to film. We will have to ask her if we can borrow her videos one day."

"I would love that."

Ziva saw the look on his face. She wanted to make things up to him, even though she knew that he would never forgive her fully. But she had always wanted him to have a part in Tali's life. "Tony, you may have already noticed this, but I also took the photo of us from Paris with me. I was one of my favourite memories and I loved the photo, especially because it was of the two of us. It was placed in that frame that Shmeil bought me once he saw the picture and I put it up in my room. I showed that picture to Tali every morning and every evening, so it was like she was saying good morning and good night to you. When she was a bit older, she would request to see that photo and reach out to try to touch us."

* * *

 _Ziva had been getting Tali ready for bed and had taken her to see the Paris photo, just like they did every night. Tali's face lit up and she lovingly placed her hand over the glass._

" _Tali, here is your Ima. That is me, my darling. And this man next to me is the most important man. This is your father, Tali. This is Abba. His name is Anthony DiNozzo, but everyone calls him Tony. And I know that he would love you with all his heart if he knew about you." Normally, Ziva would settle her down and tell her a story while she drifted off, but tonight, Tali was particularly clingy to that photo. She wanted her Abba. It broke Ziva's heart but she couldn't take Tony's life in DC away from him._

" _Shall I tell you the story behind this photo?" Tali babbled happily, so Ziva sat in the rocking chair with Tali in her arms and began her tale._

" _Your Abba and I both worked for a federal agency in America. We were partners on the same team and together we solved cases involving people who worked for the US Navy and their families. And one day, the two of us were sent to Paris. We had to pick up a witness and bring her back to Washington DC. But we were able to see some of the sights before we had to get back to work, which delighted your Abba a lot! He would not put his beloved camera down!" She laughed at the beautiful memories and Tali giggled too, enjoying the tale._

" _He insisted on renting a motorbike for the day and he went to pick this up while I ate breakfast. And I climbed on the back of the bike and travelled around with him. It was one the best days. He always knew how to cheer me up and make me smile… I'd had some bad dreams the night before and he helped to calm me down; sat with me and talked to me for hours before we finally fell asleep. So, he made it his mission to make me smile and visit the sights of Paris with me the next day. He is an incredible person, and I am sure that you will have a lot of his traits as you grow up."_

" _As we pulled back up to the café, an older man sitting at one of the tables spoke to us. He told us that he had watched us that morning and he enjoyed watching a young couple in love. We tried to explain that we were not a couple, that we very good friends, but he rolled his eyes at us and told us that we were silly if we could not see the way that we looked at each other. Still, he wanted to take a photo of us and made us promise to always look back on that moment in the future and see where we ended up. I guess he knew that we would be together one day…"_

" _So, Tali… this photograph is very special and important. If you ever feel sad or lonely, you can always have this picture to show you your Ima and Abba. Two people who will always love you no matter what. And you can always keep us in your life…"_

* * *

Tony blinked back the tears that were streaming down his face. "Thank you for still making me a part of her life."

* * *

 **(December 2014)**

Tony needed some time to calm down after that and after some time apart, fixing things up around the apartment, they reconvened back in the living room. "Unfortunately, McGee had a really bad end to the year. His father's cancer had gotten progressively worse over the two years. And at the same time as this, we were also given a case, which involved hacking and tech stuff, meaning that McGee was given the lead. He tried to get out of that so that he could be with his dad and he later told Abby that the reason for that was because his father's only treatment option now was surgery and that one had been scheduled for him for that week."

"Wow… poor McGee. What did he do?" Ziva asked softly. She really hoped that things had worked out for Tim and his father.

"Well… he didn't have much of a choice, he had to stay for the case. And you could see the stress he was under, although he was trying to keep it quiet. But he then got a call from Sarah, saying that their dad had cancelled his surgery."

"What? Why did he do that?" Ziva questioned. She wasn't liking where this was going and she could only imagine how Tim must have felt.

Tony rubbed the back of his neck. "McGee was furious. With his father and with himself. He felt that he was supposed to be there for his dad and that he was meant to have persuaded his father to have the operation. It was almost like he felt that he had let his dad down. Finally, when the case was over, Gibbs told McGee to go and see his father, who had postponed his surgery so that he could spend some time with his family over the holidays. And they did get to spend some time together. Unfortunately, they didn't get long."

Ziva scrunched her eyebrows, but she quickly realised what Tony was implying. Her heart shot straight to her throat. _Not another person. Please._

Tony recognised the look of realisation that had flashed across her face and he nodded his confirmation of her assumption. "He sadly passed away. And In true McGemcity style, he wrote a letter to his father. A thank you/goodbye note of sorts."

Ziva felt a stabbing pain in her chest. Wow, she really had not seen that coming. Poor McGee. He had been starting to repair his relationship with his father, only for him to be taken so cruelly from him. That just was not fair. She felt so awful that she hadn't been there for him. She should have been there to support her friend. Instead she was half-way around the world, completely oblivious to what Tim had been going through. Ziva felt incredibly guilty. She knew that she wanted to go and visit John McGee's grave, to pay her respects to him. And speak with McGee. She really missed him. But now she wasn't sure that she would ever be able to again. Not without putting someone's life at risk…

* * *

 **(January 2015)**

"Things only went downhill from there. We were called to a crime scene at a diner. There were five victims who all had gunshot wounds. Looked like a shoot-out. But then Gibbs heard shouting coming from outside. It turns out that there were two women, one of whom was arguing with a cop; they wanted to get in to see Gibbs. Turns out it was Diane, aka ex-wife numero trois! But not only that, she'd brought along a friend with her."

"Well, who was it? And what were they doing there?"

Tony smirked at her. She really could be impatient sometimes. "Patience, young ninja. You shall have your answers all in due time." Ziva rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. He was a goofball, but with a heart of gold. "We got to meet Rebecca, ex-wife numero deux, or the mysterious ex-wife!"

Okay, that was unexpected! "Wait, so Diane and Rebecca are friends?!"

"Haha I know right! Said they had a lot of things in common that they liked to discuss, I could only imagine what! Who knows what dirty little secrets they share about one Leroy Jethro Gibbs and –"

"Tony!" Ziva exclaimed, making him snap back to reality. "Back to the case?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah! So, when we looked closer at the crime scene, we realised that someone had tried to replicate the diner scene from LA when Jenny was killed."

She froze. Ziva felt shivers run down her spine. Never again did she want to revisit that scene. Seeing her friend dead in a large pool of blood… that image still haunted her.

Her mind span with a multitude of questions. The 'why', 'where' and 'what they wanted to achieve' was something she could guess at: that someone had wanted to hurt the team. The 'how' they had pulled it off, she could guess that they were not working alone. The 'who', well it would have to be someone who knew the team or who could access their personal information or old case files. Someone with a grudge?

And she realised that Tony must have found that so hard to deal with, knowing that he in particular had blamed himself for Jenny's death. God, how did he cope with that?

"How were you?"

Tony was taken aback. Out of everything that she could have asked him, he had not expected that. Then again, she had seen right through him back then, too. Knew he was suffering in silence, blaming himself for Jenny's death. And she had been the only other person who was with him when they'd found her. "I… it was… tough. It was like we were revisiting that day. That scene. And I never wanted to be back there again. Um… yeah really I just had to put a brave face on for the boss and get on with it. But you could see how everyone was affected by this case."

Tony went quiet for a while and glanced down at his hands. Ziva could see it in his face how much it had affected him. It was hard enough to hear about this case, she could only imagine how the others must have found and dealt with this. Reaching out, she placed her right hand over his left hand, stroking her thumb over the tops of his knuckles. She wanted to comfort him; show him that it wasn't his fault; that he could not have prevented the inevitable. That caught his attention. Tony glanced up at her, their eyes locking on to each other. He appreciated her gesture and showed this to her by stroking his thumb over hers, with a whisper of a smile appearing on his face. She returned this.

Clearing his throat, he had gained some more confidence to continue his tale. "While we were running down the victims, McGee and I brought back the 'ex-wives presentation', which Gibbs accidently saw! Shoulda know not to have it up in the background, the man sees everything. He is the all-seeing man. But hey, it gave me a great opportunity to ask him about wife number 2." He held a mischievous look on his face.

"What did you do?" she asked cautiously.

"Nothing… I merely asked him if she was the one that he caught in bed with another man!"

"Oh my God – Tony, please tell me you are joking?! You really asked him that?!"

"Well, someone had to! Nearly ran the risk of getting the worst biggest head-slap, though it was so worth it!" She rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head. Same old Tony, but that was the way she liked him.

"Gibbs spent the rest of the day trying to avoid his ex-wives, but Rebecca went over to his house. What was even funnier is that McGee and Diane got payback. And probably scarred for life!" At her confused look, her elaborated. "You remember when Gibbs and Fornell caught McGee and Diane sleeping on the couch together a few years back?" Ziva nodded. "Well, this time it was Timmy and Diane who caught Gibbs and Rebecca asleep together on Gibbs' couch!"

"No! Uh… wow…!" Ziva couldn't help but laugh. What were the odds of that happening? Poor McGee, it was always him!

"Then we got another call-out. A Master Chief had been stabbed. In the middle of the night. With a single wound to the chest. He was lying dead in the middle of the road. This time they wanted to replicate a different death from our past."

"Mike Franks." Ziva muttered. There was a nasty pattern going on here.

"Yep. It seemed to us as if someone had gone through a lot of trouble to replicate murders and horrors that had occurred in Gibbs' life."

"Who?" she asked. She didn't like where this was going.

"Long story short, Rebecca's cell phone had been bugged by a Russian mercenary, Ghenna Ulanov, who had ties to Sergei Mishnev".

Ziva stiffed at the mention of his name again. Of course he would come back to haunt them, it would never have been that easy for him to walk away. "Sergei was back onto the scene. And this time, he wanted to dig up the past even more. He wanted Gibbs to suffer."

"Gibbs got a call from Diane, asking him to meet him on a rooftop. Said she knew everything. Only it was a set up. When he got there, Diane told him that she'd been getting a manicure and wondered why he'd text her to meet him on a rooftop. Gibbs tried to get her out of there, but they'd already walked right into the trap. Sergei was watching 'em with a sniper rifle. He fired and shot Diane. Between the eyes. He was replicating Kate's death."

Ziva lifted both of her hands up to cover her mouth. She was in complete and utter shock. How could this have happened? "Wh… what about Fornell? What about Emily? Oh my God, that young girl lost her mother!"

"Fornell was devastated. It didn't matter that they weren't married anymore, she still meant a lot to him. They were trying to fix their relationship." Later on, he would come to understand how Fornell must have been feeling. When he was told that Ziva had died in the farmhouse fire, his whole world stopped and crumbled apart. He didn't want to go on living anymore. Not without her. If Tali hadn't been around… he shuddered at the thought of what he might have done.

Ziva could feel herself physically shaking. _'This is all my fault! I know what Tony said earlier, but if Gibbs hadn't covered for me, Diane would not be dead.'_ She could feel the world starting to spin around her. It was getting warmer and she was suddenly short of breath.

Tony looked back up at her and was shocked to see that she had her eyes tightly shut and was finding it hard to breathe. He'd seen this before, but not for many years now. She was having a panic attack. He slowly moved over to her.

"Ziva… hey, Zi, look at me." He spoke softly. He knew that he had to stay calm. "It's alright, just breathe for me. Just like I am. Can you do that for me?"

For a long while, Ziva was stuck inside her own head. She had completely blocked out what was happening around her. _'My fault, my fault, my fault…'_. She was repeating this like a mantra. Ziva could start to feel herself drowning in guilt, and she let herself sink, feeling like she deserved it.

Tony watched as she slowly tried to move to lay on the couch, but he was having none of that. He had to stop her going down this road. From their post-Somalia experiences, he knew that it would be a long road ahead if he didn't stop this. He gently moved her head between her legs and stroked her back. Then he remembered how much she loved his singing; how it calmed her.

" _I've got you under my skin  
I have got you, deep in the heart of me  
So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me  
I've got you under my skin_

 _I'd tried so, not to give in  
And I said to myself this affair it never will go so well  
But why should I try to resist when baby I know so well  
That I've got you under my skin."_

As it turned out, he only needed to sing the first two choruses as Ziva had also remembered this and slowly she began to calm down. "Hey, it's okay Zi. You're alright, come back to me now."

"Okay? Okay! It is not okay, Tony! How can you not see it? Or maybe you just do not want to admit it?"

"Admit what? That Sergei was a twisted creep? That he was a murderer?"

She leaped up off the couch, still trembling with anger and sorrow. "THEY ARE DEAD BECAUSE OF ME! BECAUSE SERGEI THOUGHT THAT GIBBS HAD KILLED ARI! I KILLED HIM AND I HID FROM THAT TO PROTECT MYSELF. AND INNOCENT PEOPLE PAID THE PRICE."

"Yeah, and if people had known the truth, then you would have been dead years ago, Ziva. And if Sergei had known the truth, it could have been Nettie dead right now. It could have been Shmeil. Or Tali."

She pointed a finger at him, giving him a very stern look. "Do not go there, Tony. Diane's life is no less important than theirs."

"I'm not saying that, Ziva."

"Then what are you saying exactly? That it was her time?! That young girl is now motherless because of me!"

"No, Ziva. Diane is dead because of Sergei. He had the gun, he pulled the trigger, he killed her."

"That may be, but I am just as responsible."

"Ziva… listen to me. You had to kill Ari. He was always going to die, Ziva. It was just a matter of whose hand it was at. He chose his path in life. He chose to be affiliated with Hamas, the same people who were responsible for the death of your sister. His sister. The brother you knew disappeared the moment his mother was killed. He had to be stopped. And Sergei was always going to seek revenge for that. You are not responsible for that. Sometimes… you can't stop the inevitable. Sometimes… you can't prevent the Jenny's of the world from being killed. And sometimes… it's not your fault."

It then clicked what he was trying to say. He was getting it, finally. She had been trying to get him to see for years that he was not responsible for Jenny's death. She was dying and she wanted to go out fighting. He couldn't have prevented that, even if they had saved her from being shot in that diner. And then she realised what he had done. He was trying to make her believe that she was not to blame for the repercussions of Ari's death. She knew he hadn't quite succeeded today or if he ever would, but he had made a very good case about it. Maybe like him, she would accept it one day.

* * *

 **(February 2015)**

"A few weeks later, Emily called Gibbs. Said she was worried about her dad, he wasn't coping. So, Gibbs took him to his old log cabin. While they were away, we were left in charge. And when we were reading up on Sergei, we found out that he was originally born in Israel and that his mother was a Palestinian doctor with Saudi roots. It suddenly clicked for us. We thought that we could have figured out why Sergei hated Gibbs so much. We remembered that Ari's mother was also a Palestinian doctor."

"Are you suggesting that…"

"It was largely possible that Ari and Sergei both had the same mother. That they were half-brothers."

This was just getting worse. Ari and Sergei were related?! Half-siblings! No way… she would have known if Ari had another sibling. God, no wonder why he felt so strongly about this. He wanted vengeance. Just like Ari wanted vengeance on Eli when he'd had his mother killed. It was possible that Sergei had helped him back them. Had Eli known about this? Probably. Her head hurt.

"Sergei found out where Gibbs and Fornell were and he went there to finish Gibbs off. However, he didn't count on this being a trap."

"Gibbs set him up?" Of course he had.

"Payback time. He knocked Sergei out and when he came to, Fornell shot him."

And that was that. Case closed as they say. Ziva didn't know how to feel. She was glad on the one hand that Sergei could not hurt anyone anymore, but at the same time, it made her feel empty. Maybe it was because she didn't care for taking someone's life anymore. Even though he had done all of those horrible things and broken families. She was still figuring out her morals in her new life.

Tony could see her conflicted look and decided it was time to move on to something happier. "However, we did finally get some good news. Breena and Jimmy had their baby shower at NCIS. It was really funny; when Palmer left the room, Breena told us he was driving her crazy. He was being over-protective when all she wanted was a burger! So, while she went and got one, we carried on with our next case. But Abby then got a phone call from her to say that she had gone into labour."

"When we got to the hospital, we got to meet the newest addition to the NCIS family. Baby Victoria Elizabeth Palmer had been born." Ziva smiled brightly. She was thrilled for them both, they really deserved to be a happy, loving family. "I know you said that Orli told you about Victoria, but did you get to see what she looked like?"

"Well, like you said, I knew from Orli that they had a baby girl, Victoria, but I did not see a photograph of her. I had already told Orli that I while I wanted to see her and her family, it would feel too intrusive."

"Would you like to see a photo of her?"

"Yes, please."

Tony took his phone from his shirt pocket and scrolled through his photos until he found the perfect snap. A group photo of all of the team together, with centre-stage being filled by Palmer, Breena and a beautiful baby girl nestled in their arms. It was the perfect family photo.

Ziva showed off her big, bright smile, she was in love with that photo. "Perfect… just beautiful."

"They are a really nice family, you know that she's 15 months old now?"

"Really? Wow, time goes by so quickly!" Tony laughed and nodded in agreement. "February, eh… that was also when Tali met one of her milestones."

"Really?" Tony asked curiously. He wanted to find out as much as he could about his daughter's early days.

"Luckily, this was something that was caught on video. Nettie was obsessed with this camera following us everywhere in case something big happened! It was a bit annoying at the time, but it is something that I am very grateful for now. This is another film that I will get for you from Nettie one day. It was really exciting when Tali was trying to get herself into the crawling position. She had started to lay on her stomach and pull herself across the floor since she was about 6 months old. I do not believe that she was very impressed that she kept collapsing!"

"Haha, now why can I believe that! She has her mother's spirit."

"And her father's determination." Ziva returned with a smile. It was a trait he held that she had always loved and been grateful for, and she was delighted that their daughter had this trait too.

"By February, she was sitting on her knees and dragging herself across the floor. She was then trying to crawl, but she was not quite strong enough to hold herself. But about two weeks later, she had gotten herself into a crawl position and was crawling slowly towards me. She wobbled and fell back down quite a few times, but she just getting back up and crawling again. It was… just… amazing to watch and cheer her. I could not believe that she had grown up so quickly!" Ziva gushed. She was such a proud mom. And it felt so good to share these moments with Tony; she could wait for them to experience more firsts together in the future. She wasn't going to make the mistake of excluding him again.

"You know… it is funny to think of how much has changed over these last few years. Palmer and Breena ae married with a daughter, you and I have a daughter together, McGee in a long-term relationship with Delilah.

* * *

 **(March 2015):**

"It's funny you should mention that. We had the return of a few familiar faces. My father was back in town, and unsurprisingly he ended up helping us out on a case. We needed his expertise on artwork. But he revealed that he and Linda were no longer getting married. I initially thought the worse of my father; that Linda had seen him as a con artist. But she'd actually left him for an architect with apparently fancy glasses.

Her heart sank, poor Senior. He didn't deserve that, he only wanted to be happy in life. "How horrible, your father must have been devastated. I'm sorry. When you mentioned her before, they seemed like they would work, that they would be good together. I had hoped that your father would be happy."

Tony really appreciated her kind words, and knew that his father would have too. "Thanks, Ziva. So did I. She seemed to be really committed to my father, guess not… He was upset, started playing my breakup CD and hovering around my apartment. But eventually, he saw that it wasn't his fault and he started to move forward. And afterwards, we had another friendly face around. One of our next cases involved a certain, special someone. A woman had been stabbed and Ducky found that she had a piece of paper with a logo on her. McGee recognised the symbol and called his McSqueeze."

"Delilah?" Her face lit up. They had still been dating? Ziva was thrilled that there was someone special in Tim's life and that they were making things work while they were on opposite sides of the world. Finally, good for him!

"Oh yes! Timmy and Delilah had been managing to make their long-distance relationship work. McLover boy called her because she had been tracking a terror group called 'Dragons Tooth' and they used that symbol. They targeted anyone who posted online that a family member was currently deployed. We started exchanging information and it soon became a joint op between us and the DOD."

Ziva smiled. "It must have been quite nice for Tim and Delilah to see each other again and to be working on a case together."

"Yeah, I think it was nice for them to be in the same country as each other. Although they didn't get five minutes to themselves to even say hello to each other. Case came first. And after a little investigating of our own, Abby discovered that the DOD's main target of interest, Malik, was scheduled to meet someone called Pistachio that day. So, we set our own op up, but we were real surprised to learn that Pistachio was actually Delilah!"

"Oh."

Ah.

That couldn't have been good.

"Yeah… turns out she was undercover and had been back in the US for a week."

Ouch. "How did McGee take that?" Not well, she could imagine.

"Well, his girlfriend failed to mention that she was in the country. Which, I can understand cos it may have blown her op. But she was also sharing a safe house with her team leader, who was a guy. Don't worry, she made sure that they had separate rooms. But of course, McEnvy was so jealous! And angry. And that caused a lot of tension between the two of them."

Taking Tali into her lap, she brushed through her daughter's wild locks and kissed the top of her head. The sleepy little girl curled up against her Ima's shoulder, returning the favour by playing with the ends of her mother's hair. It had grown just long enough for her to be able to reach the curls. Ziva hoped that they hadn't let this case come between them. They deserved to be happy, and Ziva wanted something permanent for her old, dear friend.

Watching the scene in front of him, Tony knew that he could easily get used to that sight. Where was the camera when you needed it? "Anyway, they had to work through it and get the job done. We found that Malik had been making videos of himself going through houses of military people, which lead us to figure out that he wasn't working along; he had a cameraman. Abby ran the prints, which belonged to the pizza delivery kid we meet at Malik's apartment. Kid helped him for the money and told us that Malik was obsessed with this 'Pistachio' person."

"Malik followed McGee to Delilah's safe house and McGee made a probie mistake and opened the door when someone knocked, without checking the peephole. He tried to trick Malik into thinking that Delilah had gone rogue and really was working for him, but Malik saw right through that when he ordered her to shoot McGee and she refused. But McGenuis had figured out that the gun wasn't loaded, it was a test. Luckily, she was following Rule #9 that day and took Malik down. Although how is it that they had a gun pointed at them and yet they thought that it was the best time to discuss their relationship?!"

She couldn't help but laugh loudly, which made Tali look up at her through bleary eyes. She had just been starting to doze off. Not a happy toddler. "(Sorry), motek." Ziva whispered. She kissed Tali's temple once more and stroked her hair again, soothing her gently. Ziva knew that she would need to settle her down in their bedroom soon.

"And that was that, pretty much. Case closed. Her team leader was suspended due to gross negligence, which made McGee's day! And the DOD decided to make Delilah the new team leader. Tim was really happy for her, but a bit upset at the thought of her being in Dubai for even longer. However, she revealed that as the threat was in the US, that meant that she was going to be relocated back to DC!"

"What?! Oh my goodness! McGee must have been over the Earth!"

"Moon, Zi, but that was pretty close." Had he mentioned just how much he'd missed her little Ziva-isms?!

Ziva almost melted inside. _'Zi, he called me Zi! I have really missed him calling me that. Ugh, since when did I become such a girl?!'_

* * *

Ziva went and settled Tali down before Tony continued with his recap of their 2nd year apart. "We had another pretty interesting case after that. A bit of a blast from the past. A man and a woman were shot dead inside a car. NCIS were investigating because the guy was a Navy Petty Officer. However, I was meant to be to Atlantic City for a week with some friends, which left McGee in charge. That was until he found out that the car was requisitioned for Operation Lex Talionis."

That rang a bell. "I remember that case. It was Latin for 'Law of Retaliation'. That was the case where someone detonated a bomb in the department terminal of Metropolitan International Airport back in the 70's, right?"

"Yeah, that's the one. The case that we'd picked up again because a similar bomb was discovered two years ago in Colombia by NCIS agents but the suspect was never caught. We managed to narrow it down to Tomas Orlando. But anyway, as soon as we heard that operation name again, Gibbs and I went straight to MTAC, but Tim and Bishop tried to follow. They certainly weren't too happy about being locked out of there."

Ziva winced. "I can imagine that they would not have been."

"They were then briefed on the case. They were told that Gibbs had been put in charge two years prior to that and that I had been brought in by him. Tim then asked if you had known about this and he could tell from our lack of response that you had. I think that made him angrier, knowing that he had been the only member of the field team at the time not to have known about this case. He was really upset and angry."

"I get why he was upset. He really should have been chosen above me, technically, as he had been an agent and a member of the team for longer than I had. I was only chosen because Gibbs and Vance wanted me to reach out to Monique and ask her if she had or could find out some information as she was still in Colombia. If they had been unaware that I was friends with her, then I would not have known about your operation either."

Tony nodded thoughtfully. She had a point, even though he had been glad at the time that she had been read into that case. He was fed up of keeping secrets from his friends and not having someone to confide in about cases. However, he did regret that it may have come at the expense of his friendship with McGee.

"Yeah… he sulked about it. He was fuming that he had been kept in the dark. But I think that he was more hurt by this than anything else. It was almost like a kick in the teeth: you, me and Gibbs had all known about this case, so why he had been excluded? He told me that he'd shared info with me all the time, so why didn't I share this with him? He said he no longer trusted me."

Ziva sighed and rubbed her left arm up and down with her right hand. She hated it when they argued with each other. It was like watching two brothers arguing with each other; family falling out with one another. She could only imagine how tense the atmosphere must have been, and Ziva hoped that they'd resolved this quickly (and painlessly).

"I broke Rule Number 6. But I had to apologise to him for keeping things from him, he deserved it. Lucky for me, he did forgive me after a while. He wasn't too McBitter towards me after that. But he wasn't the only one who needed an apology. Abby was livid that someone else had run the DNA and conducted forensics on this case. She felt betrayed by Gibbs. And she confronted him about that."

"Ooh, I would not have wanted to have been there for that conversation." Ziva winced. A father/daughter argument was something that she'd had plenty of times a few times with Gibbs and more so Eli and she could only imagine that Abby must have exploded.

"But after Gibbs explained about the sample being at another NCIS office, which would have had chain of custody issues had it been given to her, Abbs accepted his reason. Lucky for him. And later, Abby proved with DNA that Orlando was the bomb maker. But while everyone else was running around looking for Orlando, I used those good old school sleuthing and I found him!"

"Let me guess, he found you?" Ziva cheekily remarked, tilting her head to one side.

Tony frowned at her. _How does she do that?_ "Well… sort of… alright, he came to the squad room, you happy? Anyway, he was seeking asylum. Said he was selling drugs so he could fund himself to stand up to his government, but denied making the bomb. He was planning to retire and wanted his kids to be safe. So, he provided us with his DNA. And it turned out that it wasn't Orlando. He had been set up by a drug lord and we later got him."

"Wow… he was lucky. I can understand why he would want to be out of that line of work. I bet you and Gibbs were glad to close that case."

"Oh yeah, we were. But as they say, when one door closes, another one opens. And this door came in the form of a bad group and a good friend."

* * *

 **(April/May 2015)**

Good new first, they decided. "An old friend paid us a visit. The one and only Mr Ned Dornegat."

"Ned, wow! How was he? Last I heard, he was working in the Cyber Crimes department, right?"

"Yeah, that's right. He was there to help us with a case. One of the worst we'd ever had. A Navy computer tech officer working for ONI was found dead with her throat cut. Dornie was investigating her computer activity and he found that she'd accessed a home computer belonging to a guy with an import/export business. However, it turned out to be his teenage daughter she was interested in. The girl had been visiting an online chatroom, and was soon invited to join another. Except this one was a recruitment page and they were asking her if she knew what her calling was. She quit both chatrooms straight away, but got threatening messages for doing so. So, she spoke with our dead tech officer, who volunteered at the kid's school, and got the chatroom blocked."

"I see… That explains why she was killed. She had stopped this girl from being recruited." Ziva was starting to see how the puzzle was fitting together.

"Probably, yeah. The girl remembered their username, which we tracked down to a teenage boy from the same school, Bradley Simek. Abby also found out that the weapon used to kill our tech officer was a bayonet that had mould from the Vietnam-era on it. It just so happened that there had been a local collector of this era of memorabilia: Bradley's dad."

 _Rule #39. There's no such thing as coincidence. "I don't believe in coincidences!"_

"Kid had a 3D printer in his room, which had been used to print a bomb detonator, and his computer had gun powder on it. He was also a bit of a loner at school, which made him join the terror group that had tried to recruit the other girl.

"Are you telling me that this boy murdered your tech officer to prove his worth to the group?" Ziva questioned. She knew first-hand that kids could be used as weapons and pawns by terror cells and groups, but it was still shocking to learn that this was happening.

"That's what we were all thinking. Abby tracked him down to a bus and when we got there, we saw that he had the bomb on him. Kid told us it wasn't him who was the murderer, but it was his weapon. Gibbs was talking him out of the situation, but when the kid spotted the police, he set the bomb off."

Horrible. Just… there was no need for him to be involved in that. "How many more kids are going to get caught up in this endless violence? All they want is a chance to belong somewhere. To be listened to and loved."

"I know… too many kids are being dragged into this. Dorneget was able to connect Simek to a terror cell located in Iraq named "The Calling". They were using chatrooms, cartoons, even video games to recruit young kids. Gibbs had spotted another kid near the bus. Luke Harris. His biological parents were from Iraq but they'd been killed, so he was living with his adoptive parents. He was also being bullied at school because of his Middle Eastern heritage. Luke had found Simek in a chatroom and wanted to fit in with him. Gibbs tried get through to Luke; show him that he was worth something. He believed he could save this kid, even Ducky saw hope in the fact that Luke never finished his goodbye note to his adoptive parents. But, when Gibbs took him to see them, they'd been killed."

Ziva felt bad for this kid. He'd lost two sets of parents, was being bullied, had no one to care about him. She could see why Gibbs had wanted to make sure he was cared for.

"McGee and Dornie were tasked with going to an Interpol meeting in Cairo. And while they were at the hotel, McGee got a phone call, warning him to evacuate the building. There was a bomb there. He and Ned started getting people out of there, but someone ran through the red laser light, causing the S-Mines to explode all over the hotel."

What. No… not them. "Were… were they alright?" Had time frozen? Ziva felt herself freeze with anticipation, praying for them both.

Tony hated this, sharing bad news. "McGee, he was fine. Lucky. He didn't get caught in the blast. But Ned…

No. Please no.

"Dornegat didn't make it".

NO! Her heart sank, and she allowed a few tears to escape. Ned… he was such a good, nice person. He was an easy man to speak to and had such a strong sense of justice. And she loved that about him. Ziva said a Hebrew prayer for him. This was another grave that she wanted to visit and pay her respects to.

"McGee escorted his body back to DC, where we met Ned's mother, Joanne. Did you know she worked for the CIA?"

"No, I never knew that."

"Joanne said that he wanted it that way. He didn't want people to think that he only got the job as an NCIS Agent because of her."

Ziva could understand that one all too well. As she'd told Tony before: _"I know what it's like to have a relative in a place of power. It can… influence things."_

"She came down to the bullpen and told us that Ned really liked all of us. Joanne wanted to thank us all for being good friends to her son."

Ziva smiled. "He was a good friend to all of us, too. He earned his place at NCIS." She thought back on those cases where they'd worked together, especially with Harper Dearing. She would never forgot Palmers bachelor party!

Tony nodded. "That he was and did. And he had become a great agent too. McGee found something that Dorneget had been working on. All of the kids who were recruited were sent some techno music. Joanne saw that Luke was listening to music and he wouldn't let her listen. She became suspicious of Luke and voiced her concerns to Gibbs, but he still wanted to think the best of the kid."

"Abby found out that the songs had codes similar to Morse code in the bass lines. Messages to hurt others. We also discovered that "The Calling" were giving out a free video game, but you had to win to get the information. So, naturally, who better to ask to play a video game than our resident Elf Lord! Big surprise he won the game, revealing locations and grids of business centres, tourist destinations and naval bases. All of them were targets for the terror cell."

Ziva shook her head. That was bad. Terrorists using music and games to get kids to join their cause… that was frightening. As a mom, that just made her want to hug and protect Tali more. But she couldn't keep her wrapped in bubble wrap for her whole life.

"Meanwhile, Luke managed to escape his protective detail and flee to Iraq. So, Gibbs, Joanne and I, we flew out to Iraq too. But while we were tracking down a lead through a market, I got a call from Daniel Budd, the leader of "The Calling". This was a distraction. Someone called Gibbs name, making him turn to face them, before they shot him twice. Once in the leg, once in the chest."

"Gibbs was shot! By who?" She was shocked. Someone shot Gibbs, who? What was that going to achieve? Did he make it? Wait… Ziva remembered that Tony had mentioned Gibbs meeting and learning about Tali. Woah, Grandpa Gibbs, now that was a weird thought!

"Luke Harris."

"The kid?!" Had she heard him right? Luke shot Gibbs?! This was the same kid that Gibbs had tried to protect. He had put a lot of trust into this young kid, all for him to betray him and shoot him. Why? Even though there was a bit of tension between the two of them, she still saw Gibbs as a father figure and was horrified of the thought of him being hurt like this. Especially by a child. Ziva felt utterly horrified.

"Was Gibbs alright?"

Tony sighed. Well, now that was an interesting question. Was he alright? That covered physically and psychologically. Neither of which Gibbs was 100% after that, as Ziva was about to learn…

* * *

 **A/N: Woo, another one bites the dust! Chapter 14, Season 12 is done and dusted. Now the dreaded Season 13… And then you will see where this story is going to go (maybe?). I've honestly been staring at this chapter for four months, so I apologise if this is complete rubbish or makes no sense haha.**

 **Thank you all once again for your amazing support, hopefully it won't be another four months until the next update (I make no promises though, haha!). I am writing as much as I can before I start back on the 4** **th** **Jan.**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter, I really appreciate it! Thank you to all of the guests who read and reviewed my story, here are my replies to all of you.**

 **Debbie: Hello there! I hope that you are well, sorry for not speaking in so long! Thank you so much for your review on my last chapter, yeah sadly it will get worse, but it will get better as you said. Ooh I like the name Jackson for the baby boy… all shall be revealed soon! :)**

 **Guest (Sep 5, 2016): Hey, long time no speak, sorry about that! No problem at all, I totally respect that you want to remain a guest reviewer :) Ooh wow I hope that your exam went well for you! Yeah, I will add Alejandro teaming up with the Brotherhood of Doubt.**

 **Guest (Sep 5, 2016): October 2013:**

 **1\. Ahh yes, I did think about adding that in that chapter (Deena's comment to Tony), but I have found a place for that to go in chapter 16 (the sort-of aftermath of their catch up). I love your take on that situation where Tony suspects that Deena will take revenge, and I too took her comment as an indirect threat.**

 **2\. Oh yes, Deena will have to decide if Ari truly loved her. I'm actually quite excited to cover that point in the future chapters…**

 **November 2013:**

 **1\. Yeah, that makes sense, it's now been changed to Bishop, thank you :)**

 **2 and 3. I think that Ziva would tell Tony that she thinks Bishop will be a good part of the team, and that Tony would explain his own opinions. I wanted to skim over this in chapter 13 but I want to add this point, possibly to chapter 16.**

 **December 2013:**

 **1\. Hehe that's my Ziva-ism for the chapter! Turns out I changed that back in September and wondered why I couldn't find it to change it now XD**

 **2\. I did consider Ziva counting back to when her last period was, I'm guessing that my brain last year decided to do something different (I really don't know haha)**

 **3\. Ooh, I like the idea of Nettie telling Ziva that Tali was a gift. If it's alright with you, I may use that as a flashback later on?**

 **4\. Ahh, thank you for spotting that one. I read it back and you're right, something's missing. I think that Ziva and Orli do need to have a chat about the past: about Rivka and Eli. Like you said, they would then start to understand each other and repair the wounds between them. As Orli said, they built many bridges over the years. I'm not sure whether to add that to chapter 13, 14 or a future chapter, what do you think?**

 **January 2014:  
1\. I just checked chapter 11 and it's probably just me, but I couldn't find where Ziva said she knew that Delilah was paralysed. She said she knew that they were still together. I like the silent prayer idea, that's very respectful. **

**2\. Oh yeah, just added that McGee tried to throw himself back into work!  
3\. Yep, done and corrected :)**

May 2014:  
1\. Yeah I intentionally left out the events of "The Admiral's Daughter". I guess at the time of writing that chapter, I didn't see the importance of including it, but I may bring it up as a funny anecdote later on!  
2\. Hehe that's in there now, it was funny!

Other notations:

 **1, 2 and 3: God it's so weird having to write with American spelling! I know there will be lots of the English spellings of words in all of my chapters haha!**

 **4\. Hehe I like the name, "Anthony D. DiNozzo III." I'm interested to see what people think of the name if I reveal it :)**

 **5\. Woah… that's weird. I wrote the ending to chapter 14 and then read your comment. With Ziva asking about Gibbs' fate and this leading into the start of chapter 15. That's so spooky that we both thought the same thing! We're on the same wavelength!**

 **Guest (Sep 22, 2016):**

 **1\. I hope that the end of the chapter was okay, I found this part quite hard to write. Maybe it's where I don't quite like Gibbs' character as much anymore, he's just lost himself really.**

 **2\. Hehe oh yes I was always going to mention Rebecca and Diane being friends and ganging up on Gibbs!**

 **3\. With the NCIS:NOLA team, I'm gonna leave that for later, maybe chapter 15 or 16? I know, right! I really liked Brody, she worked so well with the rest of the team and it's just not the same show now! Creative reasons, huh, probably similar to why Cote left!  
4\. Again, I may mention the LA team later, but Tony in that suit made me laugh! Maybe a picture of that will be seen by Ziva :) **

**5\. Ziva was angry and shocked to learn that Sergei and Ari were half-brothers.**

 **6\. Oh yes I totally agree with that. I think that Tony would not have been able to live if Ziva died and Tali was either not born or if he didn't learn about her. Look at his actions after Somalia and the whole "Couldn't live without you". I agree, he felt as if there was nothing worth living for. Oh I will most definitely be bringing this up in the next few chapters!**

 **7\. Definitely, we will need Rule #40 for the next chapter for Ziva. I'm sure it will appear again throughout this story.**

 **8\. Rule #3 is hugely important, otherwise Tony would never have found Ziva. And I love Rule #8, never take anything for granted. Gotta bring those two rules up soon!**

 **Guest (Sep 24, 2016): I know right, I saw that Tony's dad was back! McGee got Tony's apartment, I expected that to happen and it's the right decision. Love DiNozzo Sr!**

 **Guest (Sep 28, 2016): I know! I couldn't believe that Gary Glasberg died! While I may not have like where he took NCIS, I won't disrespect the dead and it is horrible that that happened :(**

 **Guest (Oct 10, 2016): Ahh I wondered where you got the idea of the four steps from, I'm gonna have to read up on "The Four Steps - Reconciliation Education."**

 **2\. Yes I gonna have Tony mention the odd things surrounding Ziva's supposed death, like Gibbs' reaction and other things he wrote on his list (which Ziva will also see!). Oh we fans definitely spotted that their reactions, especially Gibbs', were strange!**

 **3\. Ahh… I really need to read "Where The Winds Carry Them." When I do, you will hear what I think. Aww, I hope they do update their story and that everything is alright :)**

 **4\. Yeah, the info would've had to have been leaked. Sneaky Pedro, bribing someone at NIS to bribe Mitchell to cause the crash. I think we would have to delve into the unsolved Shannon and Kelly case in this fic. I know right, I bet it will appear again on the show in the future.**

5\. Oh yes, that was always my plan from the start. Unless Tiva come back on the show, they won't be getting in contact with anyone on the team. And they will need to discuss that with each other.

6\. Hehe, yeah it's quite tough without giving away the plot too much, I'm gonna have to think about that one too! Thank you :)

 **Guest (Oct 12, 2016): Hehe woohoo! It's about time that McGee settled down, I was waiting for him to propose to Delilah! :)**

 **Guest (Oct 14, 2016): Ooh I didn't know about that fanfic "The Lost Daughter", I'll have to add that to my 'to read' list. I'm liking the new title "The Lone Survivor."**

 **Guest (Oct 15, 2016): I know… I am thinking about adding Ray Cruz into the mix, I haven't fully decided yet. But it would be interesting to see Ray and Deena working together! I think that he would be like a jealous ex and would also want to get rid of Tony too, before keeping Tali for himself. Thank you so much for sending me your synopsis for both "The Lone Survivor" and "The Chains of Fate". The first one especially gave me goosebumps and both are great! Hehe, that would cool if the fans could get the show to make that story canon.**

 **Guest (Oct 23, 2016): I read about what happened when Tony's dad came back. It was interesting that he mentioned that Tony and Tali were going to stay in Paris. I'm glad that fits in with my story! I also want Tiva to tell Sr in the future about Ziva, so he then had to lie to the team. Well, maybe not lie… just not tell them about Ziva. Yeah, I think that Tony would have put all of his stuff in storage before he knew what he was going to do, maybe he will move his stuff out of there in the near future…?**

 **CG (Oct 24, 2016): I think Tiva need to be in contact with Orli (and people like Nettie, Shmeil and Sr) in the future. Orli would really need to explain why she lied to the team and went against what Ziva asked her to do. Tony would also see the weird things about how the team, mainly Gibbs, reacted.**

 **Guest (Oct 24, 2016):**

 **C1: Ooh I'm not sure, I still quite like Inconsistencies.**

 **C2: I like Meeting Aunt Nettie, that's been changed.**

 **C3: This is so tough, I may keep this as it is, I may change it…**

 **C4: Again, I like An Unsettling Realization, that's changed.**

 **C5: Or maybe Tony V Orli: The Confrontation?**

 **C6: The Missing Pieces: Tough… I can't decide which title I like better!**

 **C7: Ooh, I like The True Fate of Ziva David… I might change that, I'm not sure…**

 **C11: A Cold, Cruel, Harsh Reality. Like C6, I'm not sure which title I prefer!**

 **C12-15: I like the added first, second, third and fourth step parts.**

 **C16-20: I'm loving the chapter titles and ideas for all of these. I'm excited to write these, especially chapter 16 for some weird reason!**

 **Guest (Oct 29, 2016): Haha I've changed what Ziva called Bishop now! Ooh, I may need to change that and add when Gibbs cited Rule #11 to Bishop and the Parsa situation causing a temporary rift, then her earning his trust and probie agent status (plus a hug). I will discuss Bishop and her skillset in future chapters. Yeah, I think Orli didn't mention Jackson's death as it would have upset Ziva and may have affected her pregnancy.**

 **Guest (Oct 31, 2016): I bullet-pointed this chapter and then checked this to see if I had everything! Sergei had to be mentioned, along with Zoe, McGee's dad, Diane's death, Rebecca, Sergei, Ned and The Calling. I'm going to leave Jake until the next chapter, mainly because I didn't have much to say about him in this one. And I'm going leave Agent Borin for a while (although I love her character and Diane Neal!).**

 **Chapter 15:**

 **1\. Haha I'd love to see Ziva's reaction to Gibbs' change in haircut! We would have to link that to the mustache appearing in S4.**

 **2\. Good point, I will cover Jake in the next chapter.**

 **3\. Haha, that'll be interesting to mention Tony's date that caused him trouble!**

 **4\. Yes, the whole Kort situation will be discussed and what Tony might have done if he hadn't met Tali and/or Ziva had really been killed.**

 **C. New NCIS Story Creation Suggestions:**

"A Gift, A Curse" (A Caitlin Todd Story Idea) – Ooh I love reading those types of stories! That would be cool to see events from a ghost-Kate's POV. Exciting!

"Unleashed Fury" (An Alternate Take on Tony's Departure and Tiva Reunion) – You've easily sold that one to me, that's right up my street too! I would love to see that version of Tony take on Kort. I could see him killing Kort and attacking him brutally, but also ending up seriously injured himself. Maybe Ziva would learn about this and while she doesn't want to reveal that she is alive as it may endanger other lives, she can't bear that Tony is destroying himself and is happy to commit suicide to be with her.

 **Guest (Dec 15, 2016): Hiya, I know I'm so sorry about the huge delay. I love my job to pieces, but it leaves little time to write (which is sad). Aww no way it's totally not because of all your postings, I like speaking with all you guys! And I'm blushing now, I'm really glad you like my story, it definitely helps to have a fact checker like you! Yes I too believe that Orli always has a trick up her sleeve.**

 **1\. I'm really toying with the idea of whether or not I want Vance to have known that Ziva was alive. I keep changing my mind! The thing that stops me is his genuine reaction to the news of her alleged death. I do believe that Orli would have asked him to lie to Gibbs and the team, especially Tony, if she had informed him about Ziva going into hiding, and Vance would only have agreed to protect Ziva.**

2\. Ooh, that's interesting that only Gibbs, McGee and Bishop would have been told of Ziva's survival. I'm still a bit drawn to the whole team and Vance not knowing that she was still alive (maybe it's because I want a big shock/ reveal later?). Then again, that would possibly (and sadly probably) take the end of my story as AU, but I'd love to see a happy Tiva ending on the show. But I do believe that Gibbs' gut was telling him that she was still alive, which is why he was more together than the others, and it would explain his chat with Tony in the basement.

3\. Yeah, I think the team did and would persuade Tony to go out there and find out what happened to Ziva. Which like you said is what Orli had wanted.

4\. I also agree that the team would be angry with Orli's actions to lie to them, and that Abby wanted him to go to Ziva.

 **5\. Oh I think Ziva will be angry with Orli for telling the team that she was dead, when she knew that they could be trusted to keep this to themselves. Tony would also be angry, but reminds her that he had still found her in the end. Orli did want the team to be angry and take revenge on the one-eyed teabag as Tony called him. It would also be good for Tony to see in the next chapter that Gibbs was trying to indirectly remind him about Rule #3 and tell him to go find and be with Ziva. To be a family together.**

 **Guest (Dec 25, 2016): I really liked your version of the ending for chapter 14, I thought that it was very dramatic! I've intentionally left out the part about Pin-Pin and Gibbs' coma only because I'm going to put that at the start of chapter 15. I especially liked your ending sentence to flow to chapter 15, think you wrote it better than I did haha! :)**

 **Guest (1** **st** **Jan 2017): I will definitely be adding a scene where Tony mentions that Gibbs changed his haircut and Ziva compares this to the time when he grew a mustache and had a scraggly beard. That's interesting to mention Gibbs' initial memory problems and lapses, especially times such as when he called Ziva 'Kate'. She may worry that he had similar problems after Luke shot him… Haha I could definitely see Ziva trying and failing not to laugh at Tony being manipulated by Elizabeth Elliott! And I love the image of a sulky Tony saying "That's NOT funny!" Perfect Tiva, that may appear in the next chapter if it's okay with you?**

 **Sue Dooley: Hello there! Long time, no speak, sorry! I hope that you are well, thank you so much for reviewing my last chapter, Tiva forever! :)**


	15. Chapter 15: The Fourth Step - Absolution

**So… hello! I'm sorry that it's been so long since I updated anything or spoken with you all. I can only apologise for how long it's taken me to finally write this chapter. Thank you all so much for sticking with me and continuing to read this story. I know I'm like the most annoying person ever with my disappearing acts and very sporadic updates… (I'm so sorry!). This has been a really busy, crazy year but I'm so excited to be getting back into this story and writing again. I broke up for the summer about 2 weeks ago and I'm enjoying a much-needed break! I can't believe that my first year of teaching is already done! I'm really going to miss my class; all the kids are so amazing and inspiring! I couldn't have asked for a better group to teach as my first class :)**

 **Thank you to everyone who has read this story and to all of you who have favourited and followed! Thank you also to everyone that has ever left me a review or sent me a message. I have read every one of them and they mean more to me than words can explain. I apologise if I have not yet replied or responded, I'm going to try my best to talk with you guys over the next few weeks!** **Thank you also to moonclarinet for adding this story to their community.**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a fab day :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 15 – Absolution:**

 **Thursday 26th May 2016, Parisian Apartment, France, 4pm**

Ziva held her breath. She didn't think she would be able to breathe again until she heard that Gibbs was alright. There she sat anxiously on the living room couch. Tony noticed her worried expression and continued, not wanting to prolong this further. "After Luke shot Gibbs, we got him onboard the USS Daniel Webster where he underwent surgery performed by a Dr Taft. He'd lost a lot of blood and the bullet to his chest had done the most damage: it had shattered upon impact. He didn't look good. Luckily, Taft is very good at his job and Gibbs made it through."

"Thank God." Ziva breathed a big, very audible sigh of relief. She was so relieved to hear that he had come through that. It was horrible to think about Gibbs getting hurt, but it must have been awful to watch for Tony and the team. And even harder for Gibbs himself to go through.

"I know. He survived, but he still had a long road to recovery ahead of him. Skip ahead a few months, Budd was still out there and Gibbs was back at work, but we were under strict instructions not to discuss the case with him. Not that that stopped him, of course. The latest tip we had put Budd in Shanghai and it turned out he was using The Calling to audition his services to the Chinese. So, Joanna Teague and I went out there and tracked him down. Let's just say, he's now out of business.

"But you still blamed yourself." Statement, not question. Ziva knew that wasn't quite everything. She could see that Tony pinned Gibbs' near death on himself. She could feel his emotions about that radiating from him. They were subtle, but they were there. She just knew how to read him.

Tony's gaze shot up from the floor to meet her chocolate brown orbs. How did she do that? How did she know he felt guilty and blamed himself? "How…?"

"It was not your fault." Ziva answered. There was no way he could have known about Luke. No one would have predicted that. She certainly hadn't seen that one coming. Tony was not to blame and he needed to hear that.

He sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. "If I hadn't let myself get distracted by Budd calling me…"

"Tony, you had a wanted man calling you. Keeping him on the phone, finding out what he wanted would have been your top priority. Luke would still have taken the shot." Ziva explained, wanting to show him that he could not have prevented this from happening.

"I wasn't watching his six." Tony spoke quietly, almost to berate himself. He still held a lot of guilt about these events.

Ziva shook her head. "Okay, so if you had not answered the call, would you have been able to stop Luke? Would you have had to take him down? Or would you have been shot too?"

Tony opened his mouth to reply, but couldn't answer. That had stumped him. He'd never thought of things like that. He'd always thought he would have stopped Luke from shooting, but hadn't thought of other scenarios. What would he have done?

Ziva smiled sadly and ran her thumb over his hand. "Tony… you could not have seen that coming. You were not the one who fired the weapon. You were not the one who was hiring kids to carry out violent crimes. _You_ are not to blame." Tony looked down at his hands in his lap, mulling things over in his head. He didn't think he'd ever really come to terms with his past actions, but there was one thing that was clear to him. Ziva was stubborn, but she just had a way of making him feel better. "That was why you went to Shanghai?" Ziva asked.

He took a deep breath and nodded, looking back up at her. "You clean up your own mess."

"Rule 45." She recalled one of the infamous Gibbs rules with a smile.

"I had to find Budd… take him down… for the lives he'd taken… for Gibbs." Tony replied quietly.

"This was personal for you." She stated.

"It was eating away at me. And that only got worse over time. I just wanted to catch him; make him pay for what he'd done." Tony could feel his frustrations start to come to the surface.

"Rule 11." She responded. _Never get personally involved on a case._

Tony chuckled. "Yeah…"

"You wanted vengeance for Gibbs. Budd had almost had him killed." She paused for a moment. "Did you talk to Gibbs about this?"

Tony sighed. That was complicated. "Sort of… Well, no… I went to his basement; asked if we needed to talk about what had happened. He just asked what I wanted to talk about. Sort of implied that there wasn't really anything to discuss."

Ziva shook her head slightly, but kept quiet. This was starting to remind her of how tense things were between Tony and Gibbs when Tony was dating EJ. Things had not been good between the two of them then. She only hoped that it had not reached that point again, or worse.

He knew what she was thinking. Tony knew that things hadn't been the same between him and Gibbs for a while. And he really didn't want to get into that right now. "There was one good thing to come out of all of this. Gibbs made a new friend in Dr Taft." Tony continued, changing the subject slightly.

"The surgeon who saved his life?" Ziva asked.

Tony nodded. "Uh huh. He was a Navy reserve captain, a decorated Gulf War veteran and a former chief trauma surgeon. However, he kept leaving his private practice because of depression. He and his wife had lost their son two years before that to leukaemia. I guess Gibbs could relate to how Taft felt. They'd both lost a child and were still fighting the demons; picking up the pieces. They both understood each other and actually became friends."

Wow… to lose your child like that… that was just heart-breaking. No one should have to experience going through leukaemia or losing a loved one. Taft and his wife had obviously been through a lot. But she was hugely grateful that Taft had found the strength to carry on and had probably saved many lives since, including Gibbs'. "I would like to meet Dr Taft one day." Tony gave her a slightly confused look. "You know. And thank him." Ziva explained. Tony smiled, getting what she meant by this.

"So, what happened next? How were things after that?" Ziva asked.

"After that, we teamed up with DEA Agent Luis Mitchell. He'd been after Long for years and was trying to turn one of his new recruits, Gleason. However, he missed their meeting and Mitch wanted our help to find him. Gibbs and Mitch went to Long's house, but Gleason had cleared his stuff out a week before and had apparently gone on a road trip." Tony explained.

Ziva's look said it all. _Okay…_ Tony had to laugh at that. Her _'I'm not falling for your rubbish'_ look. He hadn't seen that in a long time… "Yeah I know. It was hard to believe that Long would let him go just like that. We took a gun from his cousin, Roy and Abby matched prints to Roy, Long and a guy named Fisher Hyland who'd done time for possession. He told us about a rave where drug dealers would get rid of products they needed to push fast. One had taken place in an abandoned school, where we found Gleason's body."

"Ooh, getting prints from that place must have been a nightmare!" Ziva winced.

"Ugh, tell me about it! It was interesting... and a dead end. No pun intended. Abby and Ducky matched fibres from Gleason to a rug found in his trunk, which had drugs sewn into it. This is what he was going to bring to Mitch, as Roy owned the store that sold those rugs. Gibbs, McGee and Mitch went to talk to Roy, but Probie had to shoot Roy to save Mitch and he later died in surgery. Mitch was furious and blamed McGee for taking away our one shot of getting Long."

"Ooh, I would not have liked to have been McGee at this point…" Ziva said. She wouldn't have wanted to face Mitch's wrath.

"Haha, no I don't think any of us would switched places!" Tony laughed. "But while they went out into the field, Gibbs asked me to read through the DEA's case files."

"Wait, he benched you?!" She questioned. That was a surprise. Why would Gibbs want Tony on the side-lines? Ziva didn't like where this was going.

Tony paused, thinking through how to answer that. "Umm… sort of. I guess so. But, I did find out more about Mitch. His father was an NIS agent who had died in 1991 while he was protecting a woman who was going to testify against a Mexican drug-lord, and her eight-year old daughter."

"Shannon and Kelly." Ziva spoke softly. This was going to be a tough one. She could see why this case was so important to Gibbs and Mitch now. This was personal for them.

"Yep. I knew this was definitely going to test Rule 11 and I suggested we turn the case over to another team. I knew that Gibbs would do whatever it took to protect Mitch." _Like jump in front of him or something crazy like that._ Tony thought.

Ziva could see where this was going. She knew how fiercely loyal and protective Tony was. And how guilty he would have felt at the time for Gibbs being shot and almost dying. And the fact that he'd felt as if Gibbs was punishing him by making him sit on the side-lines. Tony would still have wanted to keep Gibbs safe and out of the danger that he seemed adamant to go towards too often, with no regard for his own well-being. "I'm sure he did not take too kindly to that."

He scoffed lightly at her comment. "Not really, no. Told me to keep what I'd found out to myself." Ziva raised her eyebrows. He was loyal to a fault, but Tony couldn't resist a bit of gossip. "Okay, so I may have told McGee." _And…_ "And Bishop." Ziva rolled her eyes and smiled. That was more like it. "They made me tell!" Tony defended. Ziva raised her eyebrows, as if to say _'really?!'_.

Tony cleared his throat. "Anyway, Bishop found Long's name in the old NIS file. Turns out that while Pedro Hernandez pulled the trigger, Long was the one calling the shots and running things in Pendleton back then. I knew Gibbs and Mitch must have known about that; thought they were making this a revenge mission. But Gibbs claimed that we would bring Long down with evidence. What he didn't know was that Mitch had gone to Long's house to confront him. When I told him, he took off and got to Mitch before Long arrived. Told him that the agent who had been assigned to protect his family passed it off as it was too dangerous. So, Mitch's dad had gone up to Frank's and volunteered. Said he'd want someone to do the same for his family. And Gibbs was returning the favour. But then Long arrived and boasted about what he'd done, even confessed to killing Gleason. Thought he was untouchable. So, Mitch pulled a gun on him. He knew Gibbs had shot Hernandez and wanted his own payback. But Gibbs explained that while he got his revenge, it hadn't fixed anything and it hadn't brought his family back. He managed to talk him down and we arrested Long."

She was pleased with that outcome. And she got what Gibbs was saying; she could relate to that. When she had hunted down Bodnar and he'd died, she had felt relieved at the time. But then it brought about the Parsons case. It had gotten Gibbs in a whole heap of trouble. It had temporarily cost Tony and McGee their jobs. And it had done nothing to bring back her father. In short, it had done more harm than good.

"It wasn't what I thought would happen. I'd assumed that Gibbs wanted Long dead. But I guess he changed after being shot. And not just his actions or personality, either. His whole look and wardrobe also changed." That really surprised Ziva. "Everyone talked about Gibbs' new look, from the change in shirt to the new haircut. Bishop called it "the makeover of the century". He seemed more focused."

"Were things any better with you and Gibbs after that?" Ziva asked.

Tony rubbed at the back of his neck. "I felt like we still needed to talk and clear the air, so I stopped by his place to try to talk to him again. To my surprise, he wasn't focused on what had happened in Iraq. Instead, he'd been re-evaluating his life and wondered what I was still doing working for him. Asked me if I ever wanted to be a team leader. I'd been offered the chance to have my own team in Rota before but I'd turned it down. He explained that when joined NIS, he had a reason, and while things change, the reason stays the same and never leaves. Either you have a reason or you don't."

* * *

 **(October 2014)**

"How did you feel about that?" she asked. Ziva was a little curious: if they had not had Tali, would Tony have still left NCIS? But she didn't want to hear that he had been unhappy about being there anymore. She knew how much NCIS meant to him; to both of them, really.

Tony held his hands out together in his lap. "I guess that… I hadn't really thought about my career… where I wanted to go, in a long time. I'd spent so long loving that team with all of us and then… when you left… it threw me for a long time. It kind of gave me a wake-up call; showed me how I was living my life now. And I wasn't too pleased with what I'd become. I would go to work, come home, eat take-out, go to bed… just do the same thing day in, day out. I wasn't like Palmer, I didn't have anyone waiting for me when I got home. I guess I was starting to think about my family; my future. I only really had Senior left and I just couldn't see myself having a wife and kids anymore." Ziva looked guilty. She may have had her reasons, but that didn't make everything better. He'd had a right to know about his family.

"So, I started to think about my family history. And I remembered that Uncle Clive used to insist we were related to British royalty. I went on to see if it was true. Well… there was a small fee… but Uncle Clive was right. I'm a direct descendant of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent. I called my snivelling cousin Crispian to see if he knew about this. As it turned out, they knew all about him. He was a thief, a con man, he died in prison and, um… some historians think he may have been… Jack the Ripper." He revealed, muttering the last part.

Wait, what? Ziva looked half in disbelief, half in surprise. He was joking, right? Nope, he was serious. "Tony, even if that is true, that is no reflection on you. You are as opposite as you can get. And you are Tony DiNozzo, a true gentleman, a great comedian and… a loving father."

His mouth fell open a little at her comments. Wow, that was really what she thought? He was a good father? "You are amazing with Tali, a natural." she continued. Tony was seriously chocked up at her words. That meant a lot to him. Maybe now he would start to believe that he was doing a good job. At that moment, Tali chose to wake up and start fussing in the next room. Tony looked back at Ziva, thinking she would be straight in there to sort things out. "You do not need my permission to spend time with Tali. I have denied you two enough time together already." She spoke, looking down. Tony took hold of both of her hands and squeezed them gently, in thanks and reassurance. They'd lost enough time already and he wasn't going to waste anymore by arguing. He kissed her on the forehead and then left to go and see their little girl…

* * *

 **(November 2014)** **5pm**

After changing a fussy toddler, Tony brought Tali into the kitchen where Ziva was busy preparing some dinner for them all. He tried to help, but with a toddler on one arm, he ended up wearing most of it, much to Tali's delight. Ziva rolled her eyes and smirked; she'd missed how fun and easy-going he was.

As dinner was served and they settled down to eat, Tony continued his re-telling of the last year. "We got a case based in South Sudan. Two doctors who were part of the International Doctors Group were helping locals but came under attack. One doctor, Liz, called in a Mayday, which got sent to Stan Burley. Yes, Ziva, the cute guy we went to Italy with!" She smirked and blushed slightly. "They recovered her body and two others and sent them to Ducky. Bishop and I went to IDG and discovered that the other missing doctor, Dr David Woods, was married and his wife also worked for IDG."

"And…? Who was he married to?" Ziva asked, cutting up her food.

"Jeanne Benoit." He half-mumbled. This was going to be awkward.

Ziva looked back at him and raised her eyebrows, her mouth open. Did he just say…? "Jeanne Benoit, really?!"

"Why does everyone say it like that?" Tony half-exclaimed. This had become like a running joke.

"Wow… I did not see that coming." Ziva replied softly. She hated how much Tony was used and hurt during that time and how much he punished himself for hurting Jeanne. He had been used as a pawn in other people's games and he paid a price. Plus, Jeanne and Tony hadn't exactly ended things in a good place, especially after she accused him of murdering her father. Ziva just hoped that Tony hadn't been hurt again this time around.

Tony scoffed lightly. "You and me both. She'd received a 911 text from him and hadn't been able to reach him since. We confirmed that her husband was not one of the two bodies in autopsy and Jeanne identified them both, which meant that David was missing, along with Joni Ryan. Joni was Dr Taft's friend and was the surgical tech during Gibbs' surgery. Gibbs and I were going to meet Stan and find them. Not all that wise, considering Gibbs' had only had major surgery a few months before."

Ziva shook her head. Why was she not surprised that Gibbs acted blasé about that. "Sounds like Gibbs alright."

"Haha, yeah. Still as stubborn as ever. Taft certainly wasn't happy about it and tried to convince Gibbs otherwise, but Gibbs chose to ignore him." Ziva rolled her eyes. "Jeanne also insisted on coming and Gibbs agreed to this. She wanted to find her husband and argued that she was an experienced doctor who knew the people, the dialect and the region. But before we could go anywhere, Gibbs collapsed at his desk."

Ziva sat back in her chair, nearly chocking on her food. Did she just hear that right? Gibbs. GIBBS, of all people, actually collapsed?! "What happened? Was he alright?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, Vance put him on restricted duty from home. Gibbs changed after being shot. We all noticed it. He was extra quiet; went from speaking two words to one. Taft told Gibbs his tests came back normal and that this was all stress-related. His body remembered being shot and the pain was real enough to shake him. Taft didn't want Gibbs going back to work just yet and wanted him to go to therapy."

Ziva almost chocked again. Gibbs, in therapy?! He would never willing go or admit to needing that. Although, it would help him to talk to someone, even speaking to a friend. "Yeah, I know what you're thinking. I felt the same way too. And so did Gibbs. He insisted that the only therapy he needed was his job. Taft argued that he wasn't prepared to watch Gibbs kill himself and threw his steak out!" Tony explained.

They both laughed at that image. Ziva could imagine that Gibbs would not have been happy about someone throwing away his favourite food to eat. "I bet Gibbs did not take that too well…"

"Yeah, you can say that again! I don't think Taft was in his good books at this point." Tony chuckled.

"So, who ended up going with you?" she asked.

"Well since Gibbs was banned from going anywhere, I got the Elf-Lord instead. McGossipGirl spent most of the flight asking me when I was gonna talk to Jeanne. But what more was there to say? It was a mission, she got hurt and I was sorry that any of it had happened. But it was 8 years ago and it was more important that we found her husband." Tony said unconvincingly.

Ziva rubbed her left arm slightly. She knew that this would still be a sore subject for him. And she could understand why. Jeanne may have been hurt by all of that, but Tony had been too. "How did they meet?" she asked, trying to change the subject slightly for him.

"After we'd seen each other last, she did a fellowship before she joined Doctors Without Borders. Wanted to do something that made her feel good after everything her dad and I had put her through." Ziva opened her mouth to interject, but Tony got there quicker. "She met David there and a year later, they got married and started IDG together."

"Tony…" Ziva tried, but again Tony continued, feeling like he didn't deserve any sympathy for his actions of the far past. "I knew she would never forgive me, and she shouldn't either, but I gave her my word that I wouldn't rest until we found David."

" _He sounds like a good man". Tony told her. "He's the best I've ever known". Jeanne replied._

"When we got to the Sudan, we found scorched earth and a blooded glove that Jeanne identified as one of theirs – a sign they were still alive." he continued.

"They were still of use." Ziva mused quietly. Tony nodded, "Thanks to the Gibbs gut, we found the doctors, but without back-up, we had to stage a rescue mission. We got David and Joni and in the end, Gibbs got us some back-up to help get us out alive."

"So… how did things end with you and Jeanne?" she asked gently. Ziva just hoped that they could at least have parted ways on better terms this time.

Tony took a few moments before answering that question. "I… I was happy for her. I am happy for her. She's married to a guy who treats her well and isn't lying to her. He makes her happy and she deserves to be. Before she left, she thanked me; told me she owes me, but she doesn't."

"Well… you did help to get her husband back, and I am glad that she thanked you for that. I am glad that you both had the chance to talk about things. That must have helped you, to hear those words from her." Ziva spoke.

Tony nodded slowly, looking somewhat awkwardly at the ceiling. "Well… I'll never stop feeling somewhat guilty for hurting her, but it meant that I could start to let go of some of that. Both of us could…" he trailed off, looking off into the distance.

Ziva spotted this and changed the subject before he started to shut-down too much. "And Gibbs? Was he alright?"

"Well, Gibbs went back to work against Taft's advice. Denied he'd collapsed and argued he was fine. But he zoned out for a bit. What surprised me was that after that, he went to see Taft. Double-checked his test results. Taft got him a replacement steak because his cholesterol was actually very low for someone with a "caveman diet"!" Ziva giggled, glad to hear that the two friends had made up. Gibbs needed a friend like Taft in his life. "He'd also received back more test results, which showed there was scar tissue in his chest cavity that may cause some discomfort, or ghosting. It would fade with time, as would the stress and panic, but he'd also need to talk about what he was afraid of. Course, Gibbs denied he was afraid of anything, but Taft didn't buy it."

' _Everyone's afraid of something, even Gibbs.'_ Ziva thought.

"He asked Taft if he'd gone back to work soon after losing his son. Taft had taken a year off and talked a lot. He then got Leroy Jethro Gibbs to admit that talking might help. But he did refuse to have his head shrunk. That left one option: Taft. Poor guy wondered why he worried about the health of someone who doesn't even bother to lock his front door!"

Ziva laughed at that, which made Tali join in too. Yes, she could imagine why Taft would question himself about that. Gibbs was a very interesting person to try to understand.

* * *

 **(December 2014)**

"Then around Christmas, Ducky got a call one morning and ran out of autopsy. Gibbs questioned Palmer at our crime scene but he had no idea where Ducky was. Gibbs got him to call Ducky again and we heard his ringtone. We found Ducky bound and tied in the back of a van. He'd been called by someone claiming to be a lawyer with information about someone called Nicholas. When they'd met, Ducky suspected he was fishing and tried to leave, but the man knocked him out."

"Who's Nicholas?" Ziva asked, feeling like she'd missed something here.

"Nicholas was Ducky's younger half-brother, on his father's side. While there was a 20-year age gap, they were very close." Tony exclaimed, waiting for Ziva's reaction.

"What?!" Ziva exclaimed. "Ducky has a brother?!"

"Yeah, I know, none of us saw that one coming! Including Gibbs! When Nicholas was 8 years old, their father divorced Nicholas' mother, but she planned to leave the country with Nicholas. Lorraine had filed for full custody, but she would reconsider for the right price. Ducky sought legal advice from his friend and decided he was going to resign his commission and raise Nicholas himself. But just as his friend offered to give him the money he needed, Lorraine changed her mind. He tried to stop her, but he was forced to watch her drive off with Nicholas.

"Wow… that's just horrible." Ziva said. Those two brothers had been torn apart from one another. That was too horrid to even contemplate. She couldn't imagine going through that with her younger sister. Ziva shivered.

"I know… no one should have to watch that or have their sibling taken away from them. But, past Ducky had a bit of luck as one of the patients he treated was a Field Marshall. Since Ducky saved his life, he got Ducky assigned to Albania, as that was where Lorraine seemed to be heading. A relative told him that Nicholas and Lorraine were killed in a car crash in Prague. The next day, he volunteered for an assignment in an Afghan refugee camp. _A broken man has no place in polite society._ When he heard that his brother was dead, it almost killed him."

"Poor Ducky…" Ziva spoke quietly. That was a heart-breaking event that Ducky had gone through. No wonder Ducky hadn't wanted to talk about this painful part of his past.

"Ducky told us our crime scene victim wasn't his attacker, but he'd come to Ducky's aid at the cost of his own. The guy who rented the van had been seen with Ducky's attacker, but we found the van man hanging inside a rented house. Appeared to be suicide, but the Duck man found it was staged – he'd drowned 12 hours before. We also found a letter in his suitcase addressed to Ducky's old flat in London from Nicholas." Tony continued.

"How did your dead 'van man' end up with Nicholas' letter?" Ziva asked.

"He worked at a post office and it didn't have a valid stamp. He was trying to pawn the stamp and ended up meeting this PI, who he hired to find Nicholas. He didn't count on the PI getting greedy." Tony explained. "It was definitely Nicholas who had written the letter. Ducky told us that it looked like his handwriting. And then Abby found DNA that was a familial match to Ducky and that the letter was written three weeks before. It appeared that Nicholas was still alive.

Ziva gave a look of surprise. "He was alive?!" Oh, she really hoped he was.

Tony smiled and nodded. "He was alive."

Ziva smiled widely. "That is amazing news! Did Ducky find his brother?" she asked anxiously. She knew how devastated Ducky had been after losing his mother. He deserved to have some family left in his life.

"We went digging and found plane tickets in Lorraine and Nicholas' names to Albania. We also found Lorraine's application to change her name, an application for US residency and an address where Nicholas was now: a nursing home outside Philadelphia. He had early-onset Alzheimer's, but he was healthy. One of the nurses revealed that he'd escaped, taken a bus into the city and gone to a post office a few weeks before. Ducky went to visit him and Nicholas remembered him.

' _You found me, Donnie." Nicholas exclaimed. "I told you I would" Ducky replied and they hugged._

"That is beautiful..." Ziva replied, wiping a stray tear from her eyes with the back of her hand.

* * *

 **(January 2015)** **8pm**

After clearing up dinner and bathing Tali, Tony and Ziva were settling their daughter down for the evening. Tonight, it was Ziva's turn to read the 'Good Night Moon' story and Tony's turn to sing some more Sinatra to send Tali off to sleep. Now, the pair had returned to the kitchen and sat at the counter, nursing a cup of coffee and a cup of jasmine tea.

"So… I had an interesting start to the new year." Tony continued. Zia gave him a questioning, intrigued look. "Zoe and I broke up."

It sounded terrible, but Ziva was jumping up and down on the inside. She knew that she had no right to dictate Tony's love life, but she had secretly really hoped that they were not still together, as bad as that sounded. She felt so selfish for feeling that way, but he still held her heart in his hands, even if he understandably no longer felt the same way about her.

"Oh… I am sorry to hear that." Ziva replied politely. And she felt sorry for Tony about that happening. It was never easy when a relationship ended.

Tony shrugged. He knew that this felt strange to talk to her about, but he appreciated the fact that she was trying to look out for him and his feelings. "Thanks… it was only a matter of time before it happened, I guess. And before you ask, I was the one who called things off with her."

"How… how did she take that?" Ziva asked, hoping that Tony wasn't about to get hurt again by a relationship. He had been hurt enough by women, herself included.

"She wasn't overly pleased with how things were ending, but she agreed that things had fizzled out between us and that it would be best if we stopped seeing each other." Ziva breathed a silent sigh of relief that they are parted amicably.

"How… how come?" Ziva wondered what would have led him to this.

"Things just weren't right between Zoe and I anymore. I wasn't looking for something short-term anymore. I just couldn't picture settling down with Zoe. And I didn't want to string her along. It wasn't fair. So, I thought things through and my gut told me that breaking up with Zoe was the right thing to do. I'd had a lot of time to think about… _things_. What I wanted to do with my life, where I wanted things to go. And… I just couldn't stop thinking about… you." he finished quietly.

Ziva looked back at him in shock. What?! Did she just hear him say that? He still cared about her like that, even after what she had put him through? Her heart was racing and beating madly. It was a long-shot, but maybe, just maybe he still loved her…

Tony watched the different expressions on her face, trying to see how she felt about that. It was scary to reveal his feelings about her in front of her, but he couldn't stop himself from nervously rambling on. "When I thought about things, I knew that you were the only person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And I guess I knew that one day, I would try to get in contact and track you down. I knew that it was a long-shot. I mean, you had asked me to move on and you were trying to start afresh. But I just couldn't let you go. I knew I had to give it one more chance, and if you said no this time, then I would have done everything possible and I could live with that. But, I didn't want to live with regrets anymore…"

Tony thought back to some of the events in the bull-pen a few weeks after his break-up with Zoe. _Abby sneaks from desk to desk leaving Valentine cards for her friends, while McGee and Tony watch from the upper level. McGee says that he thinks Tony wants to be alone. "We all have to live with our decisions, Tim." He had replied cryptically._ Tony didn't want to be alone, but he also respected Ziva's decision. And now they both had to live with that.

"I thought about going to find you then. And I almost did on a few occasions. But… something stopped me every time. I think I was worried that you would have still stood by what you had said before. That you wanted to move on. And I was worried that… I would not be able to be with you. That you wouldn't want me to be in your life." he admitted. Wow, this was so hard to talk about.

* * *

 **(February 2015)**

Ziva was stunned. She had no words to say. He wanted to find her again, months before all of these events, because he wanted to spend his life with her? Wow… she never imagined he would still feel that way about her. She felt her cheeks burn as they turned slightly red. Her mind was a jumble right now, she had no idea what to think or say…

Tony watched her stunned expression and saw the guilt wash over her. That wasn't what he had intended, he didn't want her to feel guilty about their time apart. He understood why she had needed to be alone for a while. But then he saw her blush slightly. Did she still have feelings towards him? Now wasn't the right time for that conversation, so he continued re-telling events that had happened over the last few months.

"And I guess I kept finding excuses with work. There was a shooting at the Naval Operations Centre. Petty Officer Finn was killed and Petty Officer Shor and one of the shooters, Fritz Beimler, were injured. McGee and Bishop went to talk with Shor, but she'd already spoken to an ATF Agent Kitt. Beimler ended up being one of Dr Taft's patients and despite Taft's best efforts, and orders from Gibbs, Beimler died in surgery. He was already a wanted man for robbery, extortion and drug smuggling and had been presumed dead in 2003 after he went to work in the Sudan and lost contact with his family. So, Gibbs wanted to speak with another doctor with experience in the Sudan, as they're not very common."

Oh no. She could see where this was going. "David and Jeanne." They really had to open those wounds again for Tony.

Tony sighed and nodded. Here we go again. "Yep. David was more than happy to contact some doctors they knew in that area. Even wanted to thank McGee and I with dinner for rescuing him! As you can imagine, Jeanne, on the other hand, wasn't happy about seeing us again. Or maybe it was just me."

Ziva shook her head at him and frowned. Jeanne was probably just frustrated about the situation, like Tony probably would have been too.

"It didn't help that she'd heard that Beimler had killed someone and stolen weapons. She wanted to know if we were really there because her father was an arms dealer. I tried to reassure her that we just needed their help because they were doctors with experience in the Sudan, but Jeanne wasn't buying it. Things only got worse when Ducky found a bullet near Beimler's spine from a previous shooting and Abby found that it was part of a stolen batch. A batch that linked back to La Grenouille. And one of his former henchman, Oskar Bruenig, left his prints on the wheel of the van used in the robbery.

Ziva winced. Again. Ugh, it just seemed that Tony wasn't going to catch a break. He'd had a rough time of it this year. And this whole thing with Jeanne being back, again (and talks of La Grenouille) wasn't making things better. Yeah, she could understand if Jeanne was dubious about the whole situation. She knew that she would have been, too. And of course, she could somewhat relate to that with the complicated relationship with her own father. But that didn't make things any easier for the team, and Tony especially.

"How… how did Jeanne take that?" she gently asked. Ziva had no idea what to say to Tony. There wasn't much to say.

"It definitely shook me a bit. I didn't see that coming. And I really didn't want to have to tell Jeanne about this, especially after I promised her this case had nothing to do with her dad. You can imagine how she reacted when she walked into the bullpen to see her father's picture on our screen. She was furious, convinced I was lying to her again. Gibbs had to explain that we'd only just made the connection and that neither her or her father were suspects. Somehow, that didn't make things much better."

Ziva thought for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "I get why Jeanne was so upset and angry with this whole situation. But not with you. It wasn't your fault, Tony. There was no way that you could have seen that coming. There was no way that anyone could have seen that coming." knew that Jeanne would have needed a release and a target, and she could see why Jeanne may have felt that Tony had lied to her. But she shouldn't have taken out her anger on Tony. He isn't that type of person, and surely deep-down Jeanne must have known that. Hopefully she realised this before things spiralled even more out of control.

Tony scratched the back of his neck. He knew that he had no way of knowing that the case would have ties to Jeanne's father, but he still couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty. He knew that it wasn't his fault, but he still felt like it sort of was. "I know… but that didn't really change anything. Jeanne was still mad either way. She identified Bruenig as her father's driver, although he'd gone by the name Pierre when she knew him. McGee found his new address, but when we got there, he'd already been shot dead. Bishop found an empty box of detonators, before we got a call to say that Taft's car had been blown up."

"Was he alright?" Ziva asked, hoping that he hadn't been in the car at the time.

"Yeah, luckily he wasn't near the car, but his wife had some minor injuries. They were more shaken than anything." Ziva breathed a sigh of relief. "Kitt tried to persuade us that the guns were on a plane to be sold in the Ukraine and that the third shooter was onboard too. Unsurprisingly, Gibbs didn't fall for it. It turned out that the ATF had put tracking chips in the guns as part of an operation, so they knew the guns and the ammo had been split up and scattered across the country. Kitt didn't know who the third shooter was but tracked his gun, which meant we caught him. Case closed."

Ziva highly doubted that. There was still one thing left for him to resolve. "That must have been hard for you. Seeing Jeanne twice within a few weeks when you hadn't seen her in years. Especially as things hadn't ended well before, all those years ago and you'd both only just arrived at a good place with one another when you had met a few weeks before."

Tony took a sharp breath in. Jeanne was a hard topic of conversation for him. And Ziva had hit the nail right on the head. It had been hard for him to face the demons of his past. It still was. "Yeah, it was tough. Felt like someone wouldn't let us move on. And it was just… awkward. Everyone was trying to get the gossip; find out what was going on. I was just so frustrated that this had happened. I wanted to turn back the clock to when we'd come back from the Sudan and make that our final meeting. We'd cleared the air and things were good between us. And to complicate things even more, David figured out there had been something between us; thought I may try to get Jeanne back."

"Were you?" Ziva asked cautiously. Ugh. She hated to ask, but she wanted to know.

"No. I mean, I loved her all those years ago, but I've moved on. We both have. And I wasn't interested in going back to that." Ziva believed him, but she sensed that there was something that he wasn't telling her. Her gut was telling her that he was keeping something to himself. And Tony knew straight away that Ziva saw this. She could read him like a book. He really didn't want to talk about this, but he feared that she wasn't going to let this go. "We… almost kissed goodbye. But we didn't. It wouldn't have achieved anything and it wouldn't have been right."

Ah. Oh… Ziva wasn't sure what to make of that. They'd _almost_ kissed. Almost. Hmm… She wanted to kick herself. Why was she feeling like this? Why was she jealous of an _almost_ kiss? She had no reason to feel like this. But deep down she knew why she did…

* * *

 **(March 2015):**

Tony stood up, placed his cup in the sink and moved towards the living room. He couldn't change the subject fast enough. "I was spending more time with my dad, though. Senior had moved into town and we'd started meeting up every Tuesday for lunch.

Ziva picked up her lukewarm cup of tea and checked in on Tali before she joined Tony in the living room. She knew that he wanted to leave that topic behind. And honestly, she couldn't blame him. She wanted to change the subject too. "That is wonderful that you were spending time more with your father, Tony." Ziva loved Senior. He was so sweet and he had worked hard to repair his relationship with his son.

Tony sat back down on the couch and smiled. She was right. He was so glad to have had the chance to get to know his father better and they had grown much closer over the last few years. "Yeah, you gotta love the old man. It's been nice getting to see him more and talk. I know we've both enjoyed our Tuesday lunches. Although one of them did end with something unusual. As we were leaving one of them, this young homeless woman took Senior's arm and called him "Dad." I joked about a secret sister but Senior looked startled. He felt terrible for walking away and explained that it was possible that he could have a daughter that age."

Oh wow, Ziva thought. Secret siblings, possible daughters, this was starting to sound a bit like a soap opera! "And Gibbs actually encouraged Senior to go find her!" Tony added. Ziva couldn't believe that Gibbs would have… and then she thought about it again. _'Well… I guess it could make sense. Gibbs will always love Kelly and he wouldn't want Senior to waste time getting to know his daughter if he had one. A bit like how Gibbs had once encouraged Senior to get to know Tony better.'_

Ziva sat down next to Tony on the couch as he continued. "Next morning, he showed up at my apartment with her. Susan, her name was. She couldn't remember her last name, but she could play my piano. Claimed Senior had made her take lessons. We took her to a shelter, where they told us Susan needed medical attention and took her prints to try to get her full name and medical history. Senior also had Abby run them. She was Susan Lowe, an Army Corporal. He went back to the shelter but found that Susan had slipped out after she was examined. They found that she had some form of dementia and they also wanted to test her for a brain tumour."

"Wow… I am so sorry to hear that." Ziva spoke heartfully.

Tony gave her a sad smile and nodded. "We went to her last known address and the building manager remembered her. After her mother died, Susan and her father had become estranged as he couldn't accept that she was gay. Susan just wanted to reconnect with him. We found her at a park, barely conscious. Doctors said her tumour was inoperable. She didn't have much time left. And I watched as my father stayed and talked with her at the hospital. He comforted her; made sure she was comfortable. And then… he pretended to be her father. Told her it was his fault that they'd lost touch and apologised for not accepting her for who she was. Told her he loved her."

" _I was angry. My wife died. I had to raise a child by myself. And I took that out on you. And I had no right to do that." Senior explained to Susan._

"And, you know, we'd found out that Senior wasn't her father, but he that didn't stop him from wanting to find and help her. I could see how much Susan was affecting my father. He later admitted that helping Susan was also a way for him to make amends for all the times that he hadn't been there for me." Tony felt very proud of his father.

 _That was beautiful_ , Ziva thought. Senior had done a very special thing for Susan. He had given her what she had needed. And those actions and words would have meant everything to Susan. Senior had really seen over the past few years how important it was to reconcile with and get to know his son. And he had tried to help a woman who needed the same thing with her own father. Ziva was so thankful and glad that he had.

* * *

 **(April/May 2015)** **11pm**

Tony and Ziva had taken a bit of a break from their conversation to shower, change and grab another hot drink. They'd done a lot of talking and catching up over the past few days and they'd needed a bit of a break. A little touch of normality before they delved back into the past. And even though they were close to catching up to the present day, they would soon be approaching the toughest topics.

"I guess the next thing that happened was that Vance and I went to this political soiree. We were introduced to Senator Bransfield, but he looked spooked to see me. He later found me at the bar, called me a bunch of interesting names and said we weren't meant to meet until that evening. He shoved an envelope with $20,000 in cash at me before leaving. Next day, Gibbs told us that an NCIS agent had been killed in a car crash. Me. Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo."

' _Oh no, not again'_ , Ziva thought. What was it with the boys and identity theft? First Renny Grant pretended to be Tony and threw a body bag down a trash chute, then McGee's landlady's kid used his credit card number and spent a lot of money to try and liven up McGee's life, now Tony had someone using his identity to blackmail a Senator? Those boys really needed to tighten up their security.

Tony laughed at her expression. "I know, I was getting déjà vu! I'd already been impersonated once before! Gibbs certainly wasn't happy that I hadn't mentioned anything about Bransfield handing me a load of cash. But I'd wanted to find some answers myself. Wasn't expecting identity theft, that's for sure!" Ziva scoffed and shook her head. Same old Tony!

"As you may have guessed, it wasn't me in the crash. Victim was Scott Byers. Guy had links to a forgery ring and had my badge and ID. McGee thought Byers stole my identity, used my credit cards and tried to extort money from Bransfield, who agreed to meet us. He tried to hand me more cash before Gibbs explained things to him. It turned out that photos of his affair were sent to him by "Special Agent DiNozzo", with a note threatening to release them to the press. Senator's Kelly and Matheson had received similar emails. Byers had blackmailed Kelly, so that meant there were two more "phony Tony's".

Ziva didn't believe this. Only Tony could have his identity stolen by three people in one go. He just couldn't seem to catch a break.

"I devised a rather ingenious plan: Gibbs and McGee pretended to be the Senators and when the perps went to meet them to collect the cash, we caught them. They were struggling actors who needed money and were hired by this woman. They'd collect the cash and leave it in a locker at a bus station and Abby caught her on surveillance picking up the cash. It was a shock as I knew her. She'd told me her name was Leah Ramsey, but there was no one with that name in the country matching her description."

"Who was she? How did you know her?" Ziva had a funny feeling about what Tony's answer would be. He really did date some interesting women!

"A few weeks before, I'd dated her." Ziva smiled and shook her head. "She came back to my apartment after a meal on our second and last date. Gibbs was angry that I didn't know more about her and when he heard we'd met at a bar, he said I'd been an easy target. We got her prints off a bottle of chardonnay at my apartment. Real name was Elizabeth Elliott. She'd been arrested twice for writing bad checks and embezzlement and had two warrants out for her arrest. I headed out to bring her in, but ended up being pulled over by cops. My rental had been flagged as the card used to rent it was stolen. I tried to explain that I was the victim but they arrested me instead.

"Wait… you got arrested for impersonating yourself?!" Ziva exclaimed. "Well that is a new one. It certainly takes the cookie!"

Tony laughed. He loved it when she messed up an idiom, he found it sweet. "Biscuit, takes the biscuit! And yes, it most definitely did. McGee got me out, but I'd hit a real low by this point. I'd had my identity stolen, _again_ , by three different people, two of whom had then proceeded to inform me that I was boring. All cos I had no wife, no kids, I'd had the same apartment for years. I was pretending to have a pet to impress women. I felt like I was losing my edge. That I was a loser."

This was so painful. It was a topic that had come up a few times and Ziva just felt guiltier each time that it did. Tony could have had a very different life over the last 2/3 years. And she'd denied him the chance of being with Tali earlier. It was something that she would always live with and regret, but she could try to show Tony that this was not his fault and that he was (and still is) a very good man. "Tony, you are certainly not boring and you are by no means a loser. You spent your time saving people's lives and making those around you smile. And those people around you appreciate all you do for them. Everyone has bad days, but they do not reflect you as a person. You are a very good, very loved man and you do not need to hide yourself away to be loved by others."

Ziva had spent her whole speech holding Tony's hands, making sure he was looking at her, showing him just how true her words were. And her words were very powerful and meaningful to Tony. He'd longed to hear her speak like that to him. He could feel his cheeks were damp. It meant the world. "Thank you." he whispered meaningfully. And he truly meant it. He had to clear his throat before he could carry on. "Abby called me out on that too. Told me I didn't have to hide behind made-up lies to impress women; I was a keeper. And McGee tried to tell me I was on the way to reclaiming my famous DiNozzo edge."

Ziva smiled, loving that McAbby had been there to support Tony. "I am glad that they both had your back. Abby is right. And I am glad that she told you so." _'Because you are a keeper.'_ she thought. And she shouldn't have let him go.

"The McAbby pep talks helped me get back on track and focus. We found Leah and solved the case. Leah said that Kelly had run Byers off the road and killed him. Byers had called her to say that Kelly was following him before the phone went dead. There was white paint on the side of Byers' car from where a second car had made contact. Kelly drove a white Mercedes, but his car had recently been repaired. Turns out his aide was driving his car when she hit Byers. She'd worked with Leah before, so they decided to blackmail and frame Kelly for the murder."

Ah, so his ex-girlfriend was in on this. She should have known. All of them had shown poor taste in partners over the years. McGee, Ducky, Tony, Abby, and most definitely herself.

Tony shifted on the couch, folding his feet up onto the seat. He really wasn't looking forward to going down this road. Talking about the case that wreaked havoc and led them to where they were now. This was going to be tough.

"And then we caught the case to end all cases. Or in this case, to end my career. A funeral home owner had been unloading an international shipment of caskets and found that someone had been living in the container. One of the caskets also had a body that shouldn't have been there. Victim was Sandra Billingsley, an English prison guard. She'd been taken hostage three weeks before by two prisoners: Cassio Chavez… and Jacob Scott."

Ziva flinched. Yep, she knew that name alright. And she too was dreading this conversation. It made her want to run from the room. But, no doubt Tony was feeling exactly the same way. And if they wanted to move on and clear the air between them, then they had to have this conversation.

"As you probably know, Scott was a former MI6 officer, doing time for espionage for selling American nuclear intelligence to Russia. NCIS put Scott in prison when Morrow was director, so we took the case with the FBI assisting. Scott had no family or friends and his last visitor was Miranda Okafor five years ago. She then left England for America and owned a laser tag business, where we found her and the janitor dead. I found a secret room with the safe emptied and weapons missing. Okafor was a former MI6 agent who'd trained Scott."

"So, you thought that Scott was tying up loose ends." Ziva said. She would have thought the same thing.

"Exactly. The other escaped prisoner was Chavez, whose father worked at the same port where the prisoners had boarded the ship. He'd helped them escape. The container had been packed in advance and had magazines with Billingsley's address on them. That made her an accomplice." Tony explained.

"Why was she helping two prisoners escape?" Ziva asked. She had been wondering who had been on the inside helping Scott escape and what their reasons were for doing so.

Tony folded his left leg over his right, tapping his foot quietly against the coffee table. "We found out that Chavez and Billingsley were in love and planned to have a baby. He admitted to killing Okafor and the janitor to get more money, but told us that Scott wanted revenge against NCIS for killing his wife. However, our video chat got cut short by a security alert from an NCIS data centre in Anacostia. It was triggered using a duress password by Vance before his creds were used to access a private room."

"How did Scott get to Vance?" Ziva asked. She didn't have to ask if it was Scott. She knew. She just didn't know how.

"Scott got in the back of his car as he was waiting for his morning donut. He had a cell phone jammer to stop Vance pressing the panic button in his car and pulled a gun on him. Scott ordered Vance to drive to the data centre and accessed one file. The file that named the six NCIS agents who had been involved in Juniper Strike, an NCIS/MI6 operation in Istanbul in 2002, to take out Scott's Russian buyer, Nika Razin. She was Scott's wife and he planned to take out everyone involved, starting with Morrow who'd ordered it. Gibbs and Fornell found Morrow dead at his house with a gunshot wound to his head."

Tony watched Ziva to see what her reaction would be. Ziva bowed her head, looking at her hands folding in her lap. She was sitting with her legs crossed underneath her on the couch. "I know. About Morrow, I mean." He knew from that that Orli would have told her. He'd sort of expected that too.

"Gibbs sent me to England to work with MI6 and find Scott. The head of MI6, Jessica Terdei, had redacted the names of the MI6 agents involved in that operation. That meant more people were in danger. She'd gone under the radar but I'd found a possible location and left this with an MI6 contact. Vance and Fornell travelled to London and got this information from my contact. They found Terdei, who told them that the FBI had used one of Scott's phones to get Razin out of the embassy in Istanbul and someone had leaked this to whoever killed her. Terdei had cleared all her operatives, so the mole must have been in NCIS. Then someone fired at them. Vance thought Scott had followed them, which proved there was a mole as only a small number of people knew where Vance and Fornell were. They returned to DC and Fornell and Terdei waited for Gibbs at his house, but they were shot by an unknown assailant."

"Was Fornell alright?" Ziva hadn't heard that he'd been shot. She didn't know how he was or if he'd survived. Fornell was a very good person and she hoped that he was okay. He didn't deserve to be caught up in the middle of all of this.

"They took him to hospital. He didn't look good." Ziva felt her heart leap into her mouth. Oh my God. No… Fornell had to be okay. He just had to be. He couldn't… And Emily couldn't lose her father, especially so soon after losing her mother.

Tony watched Ziva's reaction and he saw how strong her reaction was. He quickly tried to reassure her and took her hand in his. "It's okay, Ziva, he survived. Fornell's alive." Ziva let out the breath that she'd been holding in and put her head in her hands, still keeping hold of Tony's. Thank God for that. Tony moved his thumb over the back of her hand, his way of apologising. "Gibbs was mad at me for not catching Scott, but we hadn't been able to pin him down. We didn't know how Scott got back into the country, but we found his fingerprint on a window at Gibbs' house. Gibbs planned to find him and kill him."

Ziva swallowed. Yeah, you definitely wouldn't mess with people who were important to Gibbs. He would make sure that you paid for it. He was a very scary papa bear when he wanted and needed to be.

"FBI Special Agent Tess Monroe had been working with Fornell, so she ran point with Gibbs from then. FBI put the remaining potential targets into protective custody but couldn't find two partners who'd worked for NCIS. They'd flown under the radar but we found the ex-wife of one of them. Told us her husband, Dresser, disappeared after their son was killed, but he would leave a gift on her porch on their wedding anniversary every year. Their anniversary was the previous week and his prints were on the pot. We got an address for Dresser but heard gunshots before we went in. Dresser was dead and two guys were fighting. One was Clayton Reeves, an MI6 agent I'd met in London. The other… was Trent Kort."

Tony shivered after forcing himself to say that name. The name of the scumbag who'd tried and almost succeeded in taking his family from him. The slimy weasel who thought that Tony would sit idly by and let him go after the people that he loved. Yeah right, he had another thing coming. That would be the last thing he ever did.

Ziva also shivered. She hated the very thought of that… monster. The monster who had nearly taken Tali's life; who had hunted her down; had killed innocent people; had hurt the man she loved. That name alone was sending her into panic mode. She didn't think that she wanted to hear about more of the unspeakable things that he had done. But they had to discuss everything…

"Reeves had received a tip on Scott. He'd entered the house and was checking Dresser's pulse when Kort attacked him. Reeves didn't know Kort but managed to knock him to the ground." They both smirked a bit at that. "Kort acted surprised to hear that Scott was out of prison." Tony said mockingly. "He'd thought that Reeves had killed his friend. They'd worked together on Juniper Strike and Dresser had called him as he thought someone was following him. I didn't believe him from the start." He would never believe a word that he said. The person who tried to kill him all those years ago and then go after his family.

"Dresser had his old partner Kane's address and we found an unusual deposit in Kane's account, which he claimed he'd won at the race-track. We suspected he'd warned the Russians about Razin's arrest as he'd called an untraceable number before the op to grab her. He didn't know where Scott was, but knew he had a safe house in an old motel, which was now a spa. The manager had found her office door open and we caught Scott on her security feed hiding something in the wall. He told us to stop following him or more people would get hurt. Scott also used the Internet to search for someone - Ziva David."

Ah, so that was how Scott had found out more about her, Ziva thought. She'd heard some of the facts from Orli, but had a feeling that she had left some things out.

"Ducky made a psych profile of Scott, showing that he was either a sociopath or he'd may have run out of targets, but he still needed revenge. It meant anyone from NCIS could be a target, especially former agents. We then discovered that Scott had called someone to borrow their jet to go to Tel Aviv, which meant he was after you. It was scary to think that Scott was after you. That you were in danger. We tried to call and email you, but you didn't respond and your cell was disconnected. Nobody knew where you were." Tony shivered, reliving his fear.

"After I'd smashed my phone, Orli would give me a burn phone to use. She would give me a new one every so often. It felt a bit paranoid, but she wanted to be certain that no one was tracking my electronic trail. But she kept my old number on one of her phones, in-case you ever tried to contact me." Ziva explained. "She never said that you were trying to reach me…" Ziva wondered.

Tony thought carefully. "Maybe Orli didn't want to complicate things… oh, and you'd left the country by this point." he realised. Oh, Ziva thought. That must mean that they were getting close to discussing the explosion and its aftermath. Something they were both dreading.

"I called Kort as we wanted the CIA case files on that op. He strolled in an hour later and teased me because I was worried about you. He got shoved pretty hard and far across the room for that! Smug pig." Tony muttered. Ziva blushed and smirked. She would have paid good money to have seen that!

"He told us he'd ask around to see if anyone had heard from you." _Sure he would,_ they both thought _!_ "Meanwhile, we tried to track down Scott, but he showed up at the Navy yard to surrender. Gibbs interrogated him and Scott claimed he was being framed for the murders and was set up for espionage. He'd gone to his old safe house to get some money and had found a note from his wife, saying that Eli had private files that could prove his innocence. That's why he was looking for you. Scott turned himself in as he knew Gibbs always got the truth and wanted help to prove his innocence. Gibbs believed him and we started to think where Eli's private files would be. Monroe had heard Eli had a farmhouse where you might be staying."

Ziva shifted back and frowned. "Wait, isn't Monroe FBI? How did _they_ find out about the farmhouse?" The only people that knew where she was were Tony, Nettie and Orli. And Kort, unfortunately.

Tony shifted his body to face her, matching her confused expression. She'd raised a very interesting point. "Yeah… it is a bit suspicious. That the FBI knew where you were; that Kort knew; that the CIA probably knew. It makes me wonder _how_ they knew." This was supposed to be something that only a handful of people knew, so how had it spread to become more well-known information?

"I do not know…" Ziva trailed off. This was definitely something that they would need to sit down and discuss in more detail. But not today.

"Well… Scott assumed that you could lead him to the files, so he had planned to go to Israel to find you. We also found that his blood didn't match the blood on Dresser's clothes. He didn't kill him. And Scott's fingerprints at the other crime scenes were too perfect: someone had used his file to make a fake print. It won't shock you to hear that Kort was behind it all. He had been fired from the CIA, killed Dresser, paid Kane to tell him what NCIS was doing and sold secrets to the Russians. Scott and Razin were set up to take the fall but Kane didn't know that Kort was going to kill her. We let Scott go and found Kort's phone at the zoo, but not Kort. McGee was about to call Interpol and the Israeli Embassy but he saw a breaking news headline. We all froze when the news showed that an Israeli farmhouse that had been owned by Eli David had been bombed in a terrorist attack. And it was the farmhouse where you'd been staying…"

Ziva could feel that her heart was racing. She was completely dreading the next part of this conversation. Having to deal with the aftermath of the explosion. This was going to be really tough for both of them to talk about. The hardest part of their catch-up conversation was now approaching…

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading this chapter. I know that it's been so long since I updated this story, but thank you continuing to read this, it really means the world to me :)** **You are all super, amazing, beautiful people and thank you for joining me on this journey. I hope you have a really great day and I hope to talk with you soon! :)**


	16. Chapter 16: The Final Step - Resolution?

**Hello everyone! Happy New Year 2018! I hope that you all had a great Christmas and I wish you all the best and happiness in this new year! :)**

 **I had originally planned to have this section at the end of the previous chapter, but that chapter ended up being so long and I felt that I wasn't doing this part justice. I ended up just rushing this part, which is the most important part. So, I gave it a chapter of its own and I'm much happier about that than before. (25 pages later…!) This was so horrible to revisit this episode and make the characters relive this. I still can't believe that Ziva would have hidden Tali from Tony. Her character wouldn't have done so.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has read this story and to all of you who have favourited and followed and everyone that has ever reviewed this story. You're all the best!** **I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a fab day**

* * *

 **Previously…**

" _Well… Scott assumed that you could lead him to the files, so he had planned to go to Israel to find you. We also found that his blood didn't match the blood on Dresser's clothes. He didn't kill him. And Scott's fingerprints at the other crime scenes were too perfect: someone had used his file to make a fake print. It won't shock you to hear that Kort was behind it all. He had been fired from the CIA, killed Dresser, paid Kane to tell him what NCIS was doing and sold secrets to the Russians. Scott and Razin were set up to take the fall but Kane didn't know that Kort was going to kill her. We let Scott go and found Kort's phone at the zoo, but not Kort. McGee was about to call Interpol and the Israeli Embassy but he saw a breaking news headline. We all froze when the news showed that an Israeli farmhouse that had been owned by Eli David had been bombed in a terrorist attack. And it was the farmhouse where you'd been staying…"_

 _Ziva could feel that her heart was racing. She was completely dreading the next part of this conversation. Having to deal with the aftermath of the explosion. This was going to be really tough for both of them to talk about. The hardest part of their catch-up conversation was now approaching…_

* * *

 **Chapter 16 – The Final Step – Reconciliation? Resolution?**

 **Friday 27** **th** **May 2016 Parisian Apartment, France 1am**

The two of them sat facing each other on the couch, knowing how important this conversation was. It was tough for them to maintain their eye-contact while talking about this, but they wanted to do this properly and work all of this out. They needed to get rid of that huge elephant in the room and move forwards together.

"Mossad confirmed what we all thought and dreaded: that you had still been living at the farmhouse. We tried so many different ways, but we just couldn't get a hold of you. We couldn't find or get in contact with Kort. And those things scared me. A lot. Finally, I managed to contact your old pal, Adam Eshel. He told me you guys hadn't spoken in about a year but he believed you still lived at the farmhouse. Which didn't spell good news."

Ziva was surprised, yet not surprised. Tony had reached out to Adam. Again. Adam was still a bit of sore spot for them both. She knew Tony did not like Adam at all and never would, but he had put his differences aside for the second time to try to track her down. And yes, Ziva had seen Adam a year before and she would explain that situation to Tony, but later. They needed to finish this story first.

"We were working to find out what had happened to your farmhouse. How, who… all these different variables. Well, I say we." Tony trailed off before he nervously scoffed. Who was he kidding, he had been trying to hold himself together. Something that he was still finding it hard to do at this moment in time. "I tried, but I couldn't work. Couldn't focus. I just found myself standing there, in front of the plasma, watching the live news coverage from Israel. I… I had your necklace in my hand. It had stayed close to me in my desk draw for the last couple of years. Made it feel like you were still there in the building. It was a part of you and it made me feel close to you. Maybe I hoped it would tell me where you were." Tony could feel himself turning slightly red as he spoke from the heart. It could be hard to be so open with your emotions and thoughts.

Ziva unconsciously reached up to touch where her necklace had been on her neck for so many years of her life. That second Star of David necklace that she had owned since Tony had bought it for her after Somalia, it was special. The sentiment meant so much to her and it had been given to her by someone special in her new family. The thought and care he had shown hadn't gone unnoticed by her. It meant something special to him too. Tony had spent three years with her necklace in his desk draw. It made him feel close to her, which is exactly what he had needed on that particular day. And now that part of them belonged to their daughter.

"Then, it seemed as if we'd been given a lifeline." Tony continued. "The news reported that a survivor had been found and was being pulled from the wreckage. We all assumed that it was you. And if you were still alive, then I wanted to be with you."

 _"I can't stay here." Tony had muttered out-loud in the middle of the bullpen._

"Gibbs knew what I was thinking; knew where I needed and wanted to be. McGee had already booked me on a flight to Tel Aviv that was due to leave in four hours' time. So, I ran home to pack and head out to the airport. Senior came over to help me. He'd seen the farmhouse on the news and had a feeling that it may have had links to you." Tony stopped, pausing to sigh and look down for a second before he could continue. "I had this… feeling, this really, really strong feeling that you were still alive. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I could feel it in my bones. And so did my father. But we didn't know anything for sure…"

* * *

 _ **Flashback, Tuesday 17**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, Tony's bedroom**_

" _But I don't know that she's still alive. And nobody knows anything, so what's the point in feeling anything at all?" Tony spoke as he packed, letting out some of his frustrations._

" _I didn't mean to make things worse." Senior replied._

 _Tony felt somewhat guilty. He was scared, terrified, angry and the last thing that he wanted or needed to do was to take that out on his father. "Listen, I know you're trying to help, and I appreciate it, but I'm a wreck." He explained, his words trembling slightly._

" _You're a rock, son." Senior replied. Those magic words that only a father can say, that just will everything to be alright…_

* * *

Tony sighed. "But then everything changed forever. Everything came crashing down." He choked out. Oh God, he was struggling already. He didn't know if he could get through this whole conversation.

Ziva tensed, feeling like she couldn't breathe. She wanted nothing more than to end this conversation right here and forget about all of this, to not talk about this. Ever. But she had run away from enough things over the last few years and she wasn't prepared to do so anymore. She grabbed Tony's hand tightly in hers. They had to brave this and get through this together.

Tony took a deep, shaky breath. "Vance had received a call from Tel Aviv. From Orli. He came into the bullpen to find me. To tell me that… um… but I wasn't there. So, he told the team. That Orli had informed him about the farmhouse. About the survivors. I was told that he looked completely devastated by the news he had received. Emotional."

He shivered just thinking about it. "Once he had broken the news about you to all of them and they had gathered themselves together, Abby and McGee came over to my place to let me know. They turned up at my apartment, just as I was about to leave for the airport. All I can remember is that… I was grabbing my bag and when I turned around, I… I saw them coming into my bedroom. I could see that their eyes were red and they had both been crying. Still were. They didn't need to say anything. I knew it was bad news. They were coming to tell me that… that you…" Tony chocked. He couldn't finish that sentence.

* * *

 _ **Flashback, Tuesday 17**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, Tony's bedroom**_

 _Tony looked to see McGee and Abby enter his bedroom. The first thing he noticed was the distraught looks in their eyes. He saw how nervous they both looked. His heart sank straight down to his stomach. No. Oh God, no… no, no, no, no, no. Please no. She couldn't be… oh no. It wasn't true… He couldn't breathe._

" _Are we sure?" Tony asked in anguish. He prayed to himself that she was alive. He wanted nothing more than to hear that right at that moment. He was being silly; overreacting. Surely this was a cruel joke. It couldn't be the reason why they were here, could it?_

 _Abby nodded, tears still filling her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Tony."_

 _Whoosh._

 _Tony felt his whole world crumble around him. All of the air had been sucked out of him._

 _Those four words would haunt him forever. He hadn't felt so empty inside since his mother…_

 _Tony slumped down onto his bed, absolutely devastated. Abby, McGee and Senior gathered round to try to comfort him. But nothing could make this right. The women he loved more than anything in the whole entire world had been taken so drastically and so cruelly from him. He didn't want to think about how she would have suffered in that fire. That she died alone. This was the final straw._

 _Tony DiNozzo was a broken man beyond all repair…_

* * *

Tony was trembling, shaking. That had been one of the worst moments in his entire life. And having to relive and retell this… This was still too raw for him. It still felt very real. He had come extremely close to losing Ziva. Too close. Again. Dealing with that once had been heart-breaking and life-changing enough. It made him realise that he couldn't live without her. But twice… He couldn't live through that. And Tony became overcome with emotion. Completely overwhelmed, he broke down.

Tony slumped forward; his chin trembling. There were rivers of tears flowing from his eyes, sliding down his cheeks at a rapid pace. As he moved his hands to try to wipe them away, a strangled sob escaped his throat. And nothing could stop more from following suit. He was an absolute mess. Tony continued to cry and sob his heart out, burying his head in his hands. Ziva being dead… that just made him shiver. It made him not want to carry on. It was horrid to think back to a time when he'd truly believed that he'd lost her for good. That they would never have a chance. All his unresolved grief that he hadn't been able to show; hadn't allowed himself to deal with, was now coming out in bucket loads.

Watching him completely break down and lay all of emotions out on the table so openly, Ziva felt so remorseful. This was her fault; this was all her fault. If she hadn't sent Tony back to DC alone; if she hadn't hidden Tali and kept her a secret from him; if she hadn't pretended to be dead… none of this would have happened. Never had she imagined that her actions; that going underground and pretending to be dead would be a catch-22. That it would protect and keep Tali safe, but destroy Tony in the process. She couldn't believe that she had hurt him again. She was the reason that this funny, charming, loyal man was sitting in front of her utterly inconsolable. She was to blame and that broke her heart into a million pieces. How could she have done this to him?

Not knowing what to expect, but knowing that she had to do something, Ziva moved from her place to crouch in front of him. As Tony continued to sob into his hands, trapped in his own head, in the nightmares of the recent past, Ziva placed her own hands over his kneecaps and slowly moved her thumbs back and forth, trying to comfort him. They stayed like that for a while, before Ziva moved her hands and placed them over the backs of his hands. She moved forwards slightly and rested her forehead against his.

Ziva softly whispered Hebrew words to him. Comfort words. Sorry. "I am so, so sorry, Tony. I never wanted to hurt you ever again. I wanted to keep you safe, away from me. That was one of the reasons why I stayed in Israel a few years ago. So that I could never hurt you again. But I keep getting you caught up in my mess. You get hurt because of me. It is not fair. You are a good person, the best I know and you do not deserve this pain. I am so sorry for hurting you again."

Ziva then moved back slightly as she softly stroked his checks with their joint hands. It hurt her so much to see his anguish and pain. She wanted to do everything in her power to take away all his pain. She wanted and needed to show him the truthfulness of her words. Show him how truly sorry she was and how much he did not deserve this. Ziva was so focused on Tony that she didn't notice that her own tears had started to overflow from her eyes and slide down her cheeks. The worst things in the world for her would be to see Tali and Tony upset or in pain. And watching Tony like this, knowing she had caused his anguish, was heart-breaking.

In her head, Ziva amended her initial statement that she had told Ducky all those years ago. _You should keep your distance. The ones who get too close always end up dead or destroyed._

Still overcome with despair, Tony looked up so that they were both now gazing deep into each other's eyes. He finally managed snap out of his headspace and composed himself enough to stop sobbing. Tony then gave Ziva a wide-eyed look. He was shocked. Was this real? She was alive. Alive. He was so relieved and thankful that Ziva David was sitting there in front of him. And she was gently comforting him. He'd come too close to losing her for good. Far too close. He still had to pinch himself that she was sitting there in front of him. That he had her and their daughter there. The three of them were all together. Yes, there was a part of him that would never quite get over the fact that Ziva had hidden Tali from him for three years, but he didn't want to waste any more time being angry at her. Especially not when he could have had to go on without her. She was alive and he needed her in his life. He wasn't prepared to lose her again.

Ziva wasn't sure what that look meant. Maybe he was shocked at what she was doing and didn't want her to touch him. But before she could do or say anything else, Tony turned the tables and moved their still joint hands so they were now cupping her face. He clung on to her hands, like they were a safety net for him. Slowly, gently, he returned the favour and stroked her cheeks, wiping away some of her own tears. Never once did the two of them lose eye contact with one another. Tony moved their hands so they were resting on her lap, before he leaned forward slowly and pressed a gentle kiss to the palm of her right hand. His lips lingered there for a few moments before moving to kiss the back of her hand, then her knuckles. He just had to feel her. He needed to be 100% sure; he had to feel that she was there with him. Alive.

Startled by his actions, Ziva's eyes widened a little and she let out a quiet gasp. His kiss to her knuckles had reminded her of when he done that exact same thing in the orchard in Israel before they kissed (and more). It was a wonderful reminder of a time where they had truly shown the other how much they loved each other. How they had come to have their amazing daughter. It sent shivers down her spine. She really hadn't expected him to react like this.

Tony felt an initial spark. It sent him back to those treasured moments in Israel together. The most amazing memories. He couldn't stop himself. He couldn't stop there. It wasn't enough just yet. Tony kissed her wrist and kept his lips there for a few seconds and almost jumped when he felt her pulse jumping, beating, racing underneath his lips. Tony felt his breathing and heart rate quicken. It was true. She was alive. She was here in front of him. That made more tears trickle down his cheeks, but they were now tears of relief and happiness.

He couldn't stop now. Proof. Reassurance. He needed even more. Next, Tony moved his mouth to kiss the crease of her elbow, then move up to kiss her shoulder. He then grasped her right hand again and moved it down to her lap before he repeated all of this with her left side: kissing her left palm, hand, knuckles, elbow, shoulder.

By now, Ziva was feeling shockwaves flowing through her. His soft, gentle touches made her whole body shiver. She felt like she had electricity running through her veins. But Ziva also felt so conflicted. She felt so many emotions about Tony's actions. Sorrow. Amazement. Wonder. Guilt. They were all mixed and all such a blur. But she was too shocked to stop this from going any further and she had a feeling that they both needed this.

Tony felt on fire. He could feel the adrenaline rushing through him. This was exhilarating, it was what he needed. Still moving slowly, he kissed Ziva's left cheek, reminding them both of the time when she had done the same to him in the NCIS men's room. Ziva continued to watch and feel his action as Tony kissed her hairline where her widow's peak was, her forehead, followed by her right cheek. He wanted to take his time; to savour these moments. Moments he never believed he could have. His lips then made their way over to kiss her eyelids, then the bridge and finally the tip of her nose.

Tony pulled back slightly, his hands still cupping her face. His breathing was rapid as his eyes closed, concentrating of calming down a little. After a few moments, his eyes opened again and they lingered on her lips for a while. His gaze then alternated between her eyes and her lips a few times.

Ziva's eyes joined in and then did the same to him. She felt that spark between them again. Suddenly, she was holding her breath.

 **Was he going to kiss her?**

Ziva wanted nothing more in the world. Kissing Tony was the most amazing feeling in the whole world. It was breath-taking. But she had to bring herself back to reality. This just wouldn't be right. He was so emotional right now, that kissing him would be wrong. Ziva didn't want to take advantage of him and hurt him more. She also reminded herself that she couldn't afford to let him in. She was so afraid of hurting him again, just as she felt she had done way too many times already. Never again.

Tony was so torn. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her right there and then. Ziva was alive and he didn't want to waste any more time. He had lots of amazing memories of kissing her. Kissing Ziva was exhilarating. A brilliant feeling. And Tony was tired of pretending. But he was also very emotional right at this moment in time. He needed to step back and think this through. It just wasn't quite the right time to kiss again just yet. He didn't want to rush this.

The looks in their eyes conveyed their want and desire, but also a mutual agreement and understanding. It amazed them that they had quickly built up that power to communicate so much through their eyes again. They could see the willpower it was taking to stop this from going any further. They wanted to build up their friendship and relationship again before seeing if they could ever take that to the next level again. And at the moment, they needed to focus on Tali, being a family and being positive role models for their daughter. They needed to show her how to build positive relationships.

Together, they pulled each other in for a tight hug, feeling their mass of emotions pouring out. This was exactly what they'd need. This was why they needed to talk things through. And although they weren't quite there yet and they still had quite a way to go, they had just made huge progress in repairing their relationship. This was a good start and both were anxiously excited to see what the future would hold for the two of them…

* * *

"The intense heat of the fire had reduced the farmhouse to ashes. It had taken your life. The house where you were born; the house where Tali was born… it was suddenly a pile of rubble and ash. And that was it for me. The person that I cared about more than anything was gone. Taken away from me. I was destroyed. All I could do was cry." Tony explained. The two of them had sorted themselves out after their very emotional talk and were now sitting at the kitchen counter sharing some very healthy chocolate malt balls and gummy bears. Their late night and plane-trips comfort snack foods, reserved just for them. And a little more comfort couldn't hurt them right now.

"The team all took the news badly, too. McGee was in tears, so was Abby, so was Vance. Palmer couldn't believe it. He had been happy that you had finally found peace in your life, but then to have your life taken so cruelly… it wasn't fair. You deserved to be happy and living your life the way that you wanted to for once. But he's a smart guy. He couldn't believe that you would have gone down like that. I guess he knew you too well; you wouldn't have given up without a fight. Should have known he was onto something there. But I guess I believed, hell most of us believed that your guard had been down. You were now a mother and you had been asleep at the time. There was no way that you could have seen that coming."

Ziva shivered. She dreaded contemplating what could have happened if that had been the case. She was grateful for Orli, making sure that they had a plan in place for the unexpected.

"As for me, well… After I'd heard that you'd… I only had one thing on my mind. I asked for nothing from the team; no sympathy, no words. Nothing, except for one thing. WWZD." Ziva scrunched her eyebrows. She was cute when she looked confused, Tony thought. "What Would Ziva Do? And I knew that if someone had come after you, you would not stop until you found them. I was determined that we were going to find Kort and kill him, no matter what."

Tony shifted slightly on his chair. "So, I came back into the office. I just couldn't stand sitting at home feeling sorry for myself any longer. I had to do something. I wanted revenge. But as soon as I sat at my desk, all I found myself doing was staring at your desk. Remembering you. Remembering how you would sit there, how you used to look at me."

* * *

 _ **Flashback, Tuesday 17**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, NCIS Bullpen**_

" _What are you doing here?" Gibbs asked Tony. This was not the right place for him to be right now._

" _What am I doing? What are you doing? What are we doing? Is anybody here?" Tony rambled out. He was hysterical._

" _Oh, DiNozzo." Gibbs sighed. This was not good._

 _But that wasn't going to stop him. He felt so out of it. "What do we know? What are the facts? 'Cause we don't assume, we verify. Do we know she's dead? 'Cause if we know she's dead, we're gonna get him." Tony carried on, standing his ground. Did they have proof? 100% physical proof, like DNA? He needed to, no, he_ _ **had**_ _to know everything. Every single little detail. He was going to fight for his Ziva._

" _Yeah, she's dead, and we will get Kort. Us. Not you." Gibbs tried to reason. But he knew he wasn't going to get very far. 'Rule 12… this is why that rule was invented, DiNozzo', Gibbs thought._

 _Tony was appalled and infuriated. How dare Gibbs tell him to sit on the side-lines and do nothing?! No way in hell. "Oh, yes, me! We've lost agents before, haven't we? And when we do, it's ALL HANDS ON DECK!" Tony yelled, pounding his fist on his desk to enunciate those last four words. He was walking dynamite, ready to explode. Did they sit and do nothing after Kate died? After Jenny? Mike? After Eli and Jackie? NO. Did Gibbs get revenge after Shannon and Kelly were murdered? Yes. Tony needed that vengeance now. And Gibbs should have understood that more than anyone._

 _Gibbs could see and feel Tony's anger, it filled the whole building. He didn't blame him, he was angry and upset, too. He knew how soul-destroying it was to lose the one you love. And he couldn't, wouldn't watch Tony go down the same path of self-destruction that he himself had almost gone down after Shannon and Kelly. He had to get Tony to let his grief out and not hide behind a mask of anger._

" _She's more than an agent to you." Gibbs stated. He'd known for a while there had been something more between Tony and Ziva. You could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Everyone in the whole building knew. Hell, they had even been an office pool circulating for years, gossiping how long it would take for them to get together. And Gibbs had seen the looks in their eyes. He knew the 'I love you' look. And both of them had tried to hide it for years._

 _Oh no, we are not going down this route. He is not benching me. So he turned on the defence and flipped the tables on Gibbs. "She was a daughter to you. She was a sister to McGee and Abby, and…". Tony paused. He knew how much Ziva meant to him. The whole world. But he had to show Gibbs that he needed to be here, finding her killer. "She was no more to me than anybody." Tony may have said that sentence out-loud, but his words were hollow. Meaningless. False._

 _Yeah right. "Well, that's not true." Gibbs wasn't letting this go. He wasn't going to let Tony bury his true feelings about Ziva. He was dangerous on the team right now. He needed to go home and grieve. Let them do the heavy lifting._

" _Yes, it is! And why are you following me?!" Tony exclaimed defensively, as he saw his father approaching him from the elevators. Great, just what he needed. Two people ganging up on him, telling him to go home. Telling him to sit this one out. Like hell was he going to do that._

" _Come back home, Junior." Senior tried to plead with him. His heart broke at the sight of his son, totally devastated and grief-stricken. He just wanted to take his son home and look after him, comfort him. He knew Tony had felt Ziva was something special to him. He'd known it for years. It was his actions, words around her; the way he talked about her. Senior had loved his own wife that way, too._

" _No!" Tony cried softly. He was going to break down again, he could feel it. "I can't." He chocked, sniffling slightly. His apartment… he couldn't go back. All he could see was Ziva at his apartment: hugging Shmeil; her nightmare; watching movies and cooking after they'd quit NCIS. He couldn't go back to the place where he'd got the worst news that had destroyed his world. He had to be here. He had to get payback for Ziva. He couldn't let her down._

" _You need time."_

" _I need to know what happened." Tony fought back. He wasn't going down easily._

" _You need to breathe."_

" _I'll breathe when Trent Kort is dead." Tony spat angrily. Why couldn't they understand this? That monster was going to pay. Tony would make sure that he would regret the day he was born. There was no way he was going to get away with this. Trent Kort was a dead man walking._

 _Senior approached his son, treading carefully. "But not like this. Just for tonight. Get your bearings, son." 'Please'. The silent, unspoken word at the end of that. 'Please just take tonight to take care of yourself. We can't lose you as well'._

 _Gibbs joined in, siding up with Senior. "Listen to him. He's right. Go. Or go for good."_

 _Tony shot Gibbs a look of shock horror. "What?" Did he just…?!_

 _Gibbs knew how that had sounded, but Tony was too close, too emotionally invested. He knew he needed tough love here and he was leaving no room for argument. "I'm not asking. We got this."_

* * *

Ziva's mouth was open slightly, her attention completely captured by Tony's words. It was a powerfully moving scene. She was hearing about Tony's breakdown. Somehow during that speech, unbeknownst to the pair of them, Ziva's left hand had reached out to grasp his right one, and Tony also held on tight.

"I couldn't believe that at the time. Gibbs and Senior found me there. Told me to go home. That really got to me. Who the hell was Gibbs to tell me what to do, how to feel?! We needed to take action, and yet NCIS seemed so quiet. So empty. What the hell was anyone else doing? Why were we doing absolutely nothing?! How did we know that you were dead? Did we have official confirmation? DNA? Cos if we did, that was mighty quick."

Ziva frowned. Tony was right. And she had a feeling that Gibbs would have picked up on that fact pretty quickly. He wasn't one to be easily deceived. Was there more that had been going on here?

Tony was fuming though. "It just angered me so much how Gibbs was acting. How could he just seem to not care that you had been killed?! You and he… you guys had such a strong bond. Even from day one pretty much. You both shared so much. He was a father to you. He treated you like his daughter. How could he just be so calm, so indifferent about it?! Like this was just another case?!" He was shaking with anger, his hands clenched tightly. Ziva didn't think she had ever seen him look so mad before.

"I wondered why he was acting so strange." Tony fumed. "The person that was like a daughter to him had just been killed, and yet there he was, acting so calm and laughing with Fornell about his stupid nail polish."

Ziva frowned, a look of confusion covering her face. _'What? He is kidding… right?!'_

Tony scoffed. "Trust me, you really don't wanna know!" And boy did he wish that he didn't know himself!

"After I'd calmed down, I assumed that he was doing was Gibbs always did. He tried to bury himself in the case and hide his pain. Maybe he was trying to be strong for the rest of us. I guess he and Senior just wanted to help. I guess they got why I was acting this way. Gibbs had lost Shannon, and Senior had lost my mom. They both understood some of what I was feeling; the pain of losing the one that you…" He chocked. "And they didn't want to see me go down the path of self-destruction that they both had."

Tony shivered slightly. He could just picture himself shutting out the world or seeking a revenge mission, to die in the line of fire, unable to go on without Ziva David in the world. "Now, looking back… I think he acted like that because he didn't believe it. The Gibbs gut works in mysterious ways. I don't think he knew for definite. But I think that if you really had died, Gibbs would have known before we had confirmation. He would have felt it. He would have been preparing us for the worst. He probably would have reacted differently. However, McGee told me that the night we got the news, he'd found Gibbs at the remembrance wall at NCIS. He was holding your badge and ID. Thinking about when he'd first given them to you…"

* * *

 _ **Flashback: May 2012, NCIS Bullpen**_

 _Gibbs strode into the bullpen, bringing news and two things that were sure to make their newest team member smile. "Congratulations. You're now a journeyman agent." Gibbs told Ziva, as he handed those two items over to her._

" _I will carry this with tremendous pride." Ziva had replied, beaming with joy as she held up her badge and ID. After everything she had been through, she was now an official NCIS Special Agent…_

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Tuesday 17**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2016, NCIS Remembrance Wall**_

 _Gibbs stared up at the remembrance wall in front of him and sighed heavily. Oh Ziva… Who knew that she would only carry those for two years? That this was where they would end up right now? It made him think if he could have done anything more for her. Could he have done more to support her; keep her here; keep in contact with her? Had he let her down? Like he had let down Jenny, Kate, Diane, Shannon, Kelly?_

" _You all right, boss?" McGee asked as he approached the wall, interrupting his thoughts._

 _There was no good answer to that question. "We need answers." Gibbs stated. They needed to know what had happened. For all of them. They needed to support Tony and _._

 _McGee decided to voice something that had been playing on his mind recently. "You know, there's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Something you said to me when you first hired me. Something I never forgot."_

 _At Gibbs' look, Tim continued. "You asked, "What happens when the best agents in the world want to accomplish something?" He paused for a second. "They get it done."_

 _Then, with a lot of confidence and conviction, Tim declared that "For Fornell. For Ziva. We'll get it done." And nothing and nobody was going to stop them or stand in their way…  
_

* * *

This was a lot to take in and process. It hurt her to hear Tony's story, to hear how he reacted in the bullpen. And now listening to just a few of Tony, Gibbs and McGee's reactions from that night. It brought her guilt flooding back.

"I cannot believe that Gibbs still had my badge and ID…" Ziva thought aloud wondrously. It had been nearly four years after all since she had left them so abruptly. And yet he had still kept them…

She had thought about her old team-mates and family a lot over the last few years. Now, especially with Tali, she wished she could be a part of their lives again. She missed having a big brother in McGee. She loved their conversations, how protective they were of one another, their sibling-like relationship. She wished this could all be over, so that she could try to make amends with him. She missed them all: McGee, Abby, Jimmy, Gibbs, Ducky, Vance. Although Ziva knew why she had to start over in Israel a few years ago, she had come to regret completely losing touch with them.

"Yeah…" Tony smiled sadly, remembering the day Gibbs took possession of them. "He took them off of Vance the day he first came back to NCIS after his secret mission when Parsons was trying to investigate him." Tony knew that Gibbs had wanted to be the one to give them back to Ziva when she returned to NCIS. And when he found out that this wasn't going to happen, he kept hold of them anyway in his desk draw. He'd caught his boss looking at them a time or two over the last few years. She was like a daughter to him. And he'd felt like he'd let her down.

Ziva smiled sadly. She wanted to cry, that Gibbs still held onto her badge and ID. That meant a lot to her, that he still kept a small part of her, that she wasn't forgotten. Ziva had no regrets about giving up being an agent or having Tali, but she did now regret leaving behind her American family and hoped she could repair those relationships in the future.

"We could only speculate what had happened." Tony continued. "All we had was the news footage and Orli's call, but we had no physical evidence of anything. We were going by word of mouth only, and that to me wasn't very convincing. So, I was operating under Rule 3." ' _Well, one version of Rule number 3._ ' Tony thought.

' _Don't believe what you're told, always double check.'_

"What actually happened?" Tony asked her. "I've heard bits and pieces from different people, but I'd like to hear the whole story from you."

Ziva tensed. She needed to tell him. She more than owed him. "As you know, Orli and I had a plan in place just in case I ever needed a quick escape. We had discussed it a few months after I had given birth..."

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Tuesday 14**_ _ **th**_ _ **October 2014, Israel, Ziva's farmhouse**_

 _Tuesdays. That day of the week that Orli had decided she would check in on them. Ziva sat on one of the kitchen chairs with Tali in her arms and carried on trying to feed her while Orli made herself a cup of tea. Tali, however, wasn't having any of it and instead was trying to grab at Ziva, much to her delight but her mother's frustration. This was the latest phase that they were going through, which according to Nettie was pretty normal at this age as Tali was becoming more aware of (and distracted by) her surroundings. And Nettie never failed to remind her of how mischievous Ziva had been at this age! Ziva only hoped it would pass soon!_

" _She grows so quickly every time I see her." Orli smiled as she stirred her tea, coming to sit on one of the kitchen chairs. "Tali looks so much like you. And has a lot of your spirit. But I cannot resist her eyes."_

 _Ziva sorted out her shirt and repositioned Tali in a hug over her left shoulder, gently rocking her. She had to agree that Tali certainly had her spirit and stubbornness, but she also had her father's charm and entrancing eyes. Tony… Was this still supposed to be this hard, even after one whole year?_

" _I still think about him. And NCIS. All of them. I sometimes regret the way I left. Not saying goodbye to all of them. But I know that I had to let go of everything. I cannot be that person anymore. I miss them all, a lot, but Tali makes everything worth it." Ziva looked at her daughter, who was blinking heavily, trying hard to stay awake. "I do not know if I could have stayed at NCIS as a mother."_

 _Orli nodded. She understood that. Being part of Mossad, NCIS, the life of an agent, it was a dangerous job. Ziva probably would have assumed that she would die young. She most likely would never have thought that she would have a child one day. Ziva knew what it was like to grow up with a parent who was an agent. She had always been destined to follow suit. And for Tali to have both parents as agents… She wasn't prepared to see Tali grow up like that. It only convinced Ziva more that she had to leave that life. But Orli also knew that Ziva leaving wouldn't protect them completely._

" _Ziva… I know that you will not want to hear this, but what if something were to happen to you in the future?" Orli began. Now was as good a time as any to have this conversation._

 _Ziva froze. What? She suddenly realised that she had not amended her will in years. Not since after Somalia. What would happen to Tali if something happened to her?_

" _We also need to consider the fact that you were part of Mossad_ _ **and**_ _NCIS for many years. There may be someone out there that may come after you, that may still find you here." Orli continued._

 _Ziva was panicked. Orli was right. It was like what Gibbs had said. 'Once a marine, always a marine'. And once an agent, always an agent. Especially as she was the daughter of the former Mossad Director Eli David. Having inside knowledge of two agencies made her a dangerous threat. It made her a target. Anyone could come after her at any time. Even as hidden away as she was in this Israeli farmhouse._

 _She never wanted Tali to be caught up in this. Sometimes she just wanted to be someone else. Someone who could live life carefree. But she was starting to realise that that was never going to be the case for her, no matter how much she wanted it. And it scared her that this may be the same for Tali._

" _We can put measures into place, Ziva. But we need to come up with a plan." Orli informed her. And with that, they started to exchange ideas…_

* * *

 **Friday 27** **th** **May 2016, Parisian Apartment, France, 3:30am**

"We thought of a basic plan that involved using the escape tunnel underneath the farmhouse. We'd get out that way and go to Orli's place. From there, we would fly out to Paris altogether." Ziva explained. "But, after Orli learned that Kort was after the files and I started to get followed, we knew that we had no choice but to alter our plans. So, we decided that I would go alone to Paris while Orli would take Tali back to her place and then fly with her to see you in DC."

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Tuesday 17**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, Israel, Ziva's farmhouse**_

 _Ziva fumbled her way into the farmhouse, muttering under her breath in Hebrew as she carried a few grocery bags. She quickly placed them in the kitchen before sinking down into the living room couch, placing her head in her hands._

" _Ziva…?" Orli questioned, moving to crouch in front of her. She knew that whatever had happened, it did not spell good news. She could feel the anger and frustration radiating from her friend. And she had a bad feeling about what this meant._

 _After a few moments of silence, Ziva was finally able to answer her. "I was followed again. By the same people as last time." She shakily replied, looking up straight at Orli. Her anger had gone now; now she just felt scared. Scared that they would find and hurt Tali. This was really happening._

 _Orli sighed. She'd had a feeling that this may happen again. This was now the third time that Ziva had spotted the same men following her in public. Once was weird; twice was abnormal. Three times was a conspiracy. Three times. There was no denying it now. They had found her; Kort had found her. They knew she was there and they probably knew where she lived, too. Which meant that they assumed that they knew where those papers were that Kort so badly wanted to destroy. These people were too close; Ziva couldn't afford to stay here any longer. It was time to put their plan into action._

" _Ziva… things are moving along too quickly now. It is not safe for you to be here any longer." Orli warned. She hated to be the one to say it, but they couldn't deny this. They had to act now._

 _Ziva took a deep breath. She had hoped that it would never come down to this, but she knew what Orli was insinuating. They had to put their plan into action. She knew that Orli was right, but that didn't make this any easier. This would be the first time that Tali would be away from her and she could feel herself breaking at the thought of that. They had never been apart and she was unsure about how either of them would cope. But she was also petrified at the thought of Tony finding out about Tali. She was terrified at how he might react, but he needed to know about Tali. Ziva just wished that she had been brave enough to tell him the truth earlier. This was not how she wanted Tony to find out that he was a father._

" _Ziva… we cannot wait any longer. We need to move, now. We have no idea when Kort when come for those documents. We do not know how he plans to destroy them. But we do know that they have found you and they will not wait much longer before they come. You need to go, now." Orli reached out to touch her arm. "I am so sorry, Ziva. I wish that there was another way." She spoke sincerely._

 _Afterwards, Ziva went into her bedroom and pulled two go-bags from underneath her bed. They were both pretty much pre-packed in case she needed a very quick exit, but they just needed a few last-minute additions. She opened one of them up and quickly threw a few of her things inside. Zipping it up, she opened the second bag. She knew what was needed to complete this. Grabbing a few things from around her room and the adjoining room, she gently placed them inside and then paused for a second. The things in this bag were so special to them. Ziva picked up the scarf she had just placed inside, running it between her fingers. 'Tali's favourite'. She thought. Ziva wanted Tali to be able to have something with her that smelled like her. So that they could still feel close to each other. And to tell Tony to travel to Israel. With her other hand, she lifted the photo frame. A gasp escaped her as her thumb brushed over the photograph._

 _Her favourite photograph. A reminder of one of the best times in her life. And yes, this was a clue to Tony that she was going to be in Paris, but it was so much more than that. It was a message. To tell him that he was still in their lives. That she had told Tali about him and had shown their daughter that photograph every single day. That she was still in love with him._

 _God, how was he going to take all of this? She was about to completely turn his world and his life upside down by introducing him to his nearly three-year-old daughter. Their child. The full scale of that hit her then. She should have done that years ago. Unfortunately, she couldn't undo her mistakes._

" _Do you have everything?" Orli asked, jarring Ziva out of her thoughts._

 _Ziva nodded. "Yes. And everything that Tali will need is in here." She explained, holding up the go-bag in her hand. 'And everything that Tony will need to figure out that I am alive and where to find me', Ziva added in her mind. She got up from the bed and pulled out the last thing from underneath it: a large suitcase._

" _For when Tony comes to you. It contains all of our documents, videos, photographs."_

" _Ziva… we need to get going." Orli informed her sadly. After being together every day since Tali's birth, Ziva and Tali were going to have to be apart. This was going to be indescribably hard._

 _Ziva nodded, willing herself to stay strong. She had to be strong for just a little bit longer. She couldn't fall apart yet. Now came the hardest thing of all. Ziva bent down to Tali, who had been sitting on the living room floor drawing, with tears filling her eyes. But she refused to let them fall just yet. Her sweet, innocent little girl. She was about to have her life changed as well. Ziva's heart broke._

" _Tali… I need to go away for a little while. You will be okay, I promise. Remember what we talked about before. What would happen if I had to go for a while. That you will be with Orli and then you will get to meet someone very special."_

 _Ziva kissed Tali's forehand and gave her the biggest, longest hug possible, feeling her daughter's arms wrap around her in return. Ziva held her daughter tightly in her arms, never ever wanting to let her go. She just wanted to keep Tali in her arms forever. Ziva had wished more than anything else that Tali would not be dragged into her mess. That she would get to give Tali what she had never had: a normal childhood. But they couldn't stay together at the moment, otherwise Tali could get hurt. Ziva felt like sobbing. Because of her, Tali was in danger. A completely innocent child was in danger if she stayed around her. Ziva felt like the worst person; like she had totally failed as a mother._

 _Ziva let her tears fall and run down her cheeks now, not caring who was watching her cry right then. She knew that it would be hard to let Tali go, but nothing could make this any easier. "I promise that you will see me again soon."_

 _Orli watched the scene before her, tears starting to well in her own eyes. She hated feeling like she was taking Tali away, but they had both agreed that this was the only way. However, it still pained her to see this._

 _Ziva eventually reluctantly stood, not wanting to be apart from Tali. She moved over to Orli and embraced her in a hug. "Thank you. For everything that you have done for us over these last few years. I am thankful and glad that we have been able to sort things between us and become good friends. Take care of her for me, please."_

 _Orli smiled, letting a few of her own tears fall now. "I am so glad that we have been able to repair things between us. You know that I think of you as a very close friend now, Ziva. I promise that I will look after Tali and take her to her father."_

 _The two women pulled apart. Then Ziva shakily opened the trap door and made her way down into the escape tunnel, disappearing from Orli and Tali's sight._

" _Ima?" Tali asked, looking at Orli questionably._

 _Orli sighed internally. This was breaking her heart, but it had to be done. Splitting up a mother and daughter who had never spent one moment apart… it was truly horrible to watch that. She just hoped that they would all be together again soon. Ziva, Tali and Tony._

" _You will see your Ima soon, little one. For now, we are going to see your Abba…"_

* * *

 **Friday 27** **th** **May 2016, Parisian Apartment, France, 4am**

"We were lucky. We were not inside the building when it was hit. I had gone hours before through that escape route and Orli took Tali to her home for a few hours." Ziva explained. "When the farmhouse was hit, Orli made some calls and got the "breaking news" to the reporters that a survivor had been found and was being pulled from the wreckage."

Oh, that makes sense. Tony hadn't thought about that. It was one way to suggest that Ziva and Tali had been in the building at the time and then the news would later report that while Tali had survived, Ziva had not. That news would have certainly made Kort and his men relieved. It just... terrified him. Knowing how close both of his girls were. The house was hit just hours after they had left…

"I made my way to Paris, while Orli and Tali flew out to DC. To find and talk with you." Ziva continued, interrupting his train of thought.

Tony laughed lightly at that. "Yeah, she found me alright." _And turned my whole life upside-down_. "I got called into the office the next morning. A meeting with Vance and Gibbs. Something I really was not looking forward to. I arrived and overheard a conversation in the bullpen. Monroe believed that Kort had put the hit out on you, but had hired someone else to carry it out. Which implied that Kort could still be in the US. He'd never left. So, they thought that the best way to find Kort was to find who'd carried out the hit. They'd found a money trail leading from Kort to a man named Ghazi Farsoun, a Palestinian gun for hire. Kort had paid him $30,000 from a DC bank to attack the farmhouse. $30,000. For your life?! Just disgusting." Tony fumed. It was utterly horrid that taking someone's life could be worth a certain amount of cash. And anyway, Ziva was worth way more than any sum of money. "Kort was hiding in plain sight and I wanted in to take him down. McGee promised he'd fill me in after my meeting. When I got up to Vance's office, he and Gibbs were already waiting for me, but I was surprised to see that Orli was also there. She tried to give me her condolences, but I was having none of it at the time…"

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Wednesday 18**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, NCIS, Director Vance's office**_

" _Agent DiNozzo. Come in. You remember Mossad Director Elbaz." Vance began formally. Ever the politician._

" _Orli." Tony bluntly stated. One-word answer. He wasn't interested in giving her more than that._

 _Orli smiled inside her head. She knew that this was going to be an interesting conversation. His world was about to be turned upside down for the second time in less than 24 hours. "Yes, this is no time for formality. It's good to see you, Tony, despite the sad circumstance."_

" _Yeah. Tell me you got who did this." Tony answered bluntly. He wasn't in the mood to play games. He only wanted answers and revenge._

" _First, let me say how very sorry I am. This is profound for so many people, myself included." Orli began honestly. She was truly sorry that Tony was made to believe that the woman that he loves had died so tragically. And Orli herself almost couldn't believe this series of events._

 _Tony was starting to feel angrier now. Well that he could not believe for one second. How dare Orli say that this was hard for her to do with?! "That's interesting. From what I recall, you and Ziva weren't exactly BFFs. Something about you running off with her father." He spat._

" _Agent DiNozzo." Vance warned him. But Tony wasn't in the mood to censor his words today. He would tell it as it is._

 _Orli didn't take this personally. She could understand his apprehension and resistance. "Ziva and I mended many fences in recent years. I came to consider her a dear friend, and I know she would say the same."_

 _Well that was interesting. But still. "Friends don't let friends get hit by mortar fire." Tony remarked._

" _We had no way of knowing." Orli replied, trying to throw him off the scent. He was a good investigator and she didn't want him to know just yet. She couldn't afford for that to happen._

 _Huh. Somehow, Tony really didn't believe that. "You're Mossad, you know everything. Including the fact that Kort never left the United States."_

" _We confirmed that Trent Kort was behind the attacks, hiring Farsoun to destroy Eli David's private file. Ziva was an unexpected and unfortunate casualty." Orli tried to answer solemnly. She had to be convincing._

" _And you're sure? You haven't even finished sorting through the rubble." Tony asked, praying that someone would finally give him a straight answer about that. How on Earth could anyone be confirmed as dead when they hadn't found any remains, ashes, anything?!_

" _Where is Farsoun now? Gibbs interrupted._ _ **What the Hell?! Why won't Gibbs let me hear Orli's answer to that?!**_ _Tony thought. He was livid._

 _Orli turned her attention to Gibbs, grateful for the slight change of subject. "Every effort is being made to hunt him down, Agent Gibbs, believe me."_

" _I'd believe you if you were still back in Israel searching, instead of standing here telling us how sorry you are." Tony replied angrily. What was Orli doing here? Wasting time. When she could be searching for Ziva. Which gave him a gut feeling that Orli was here for a different purpose._

 _And now came the time. Orli actually felt slightly nervous about how Tony would react to this. "Actually, I am here for a much more important reason. Something far more personal. Bring in Tali."_

 _Vance frowned. "Wasn't that Ziva's sister?"_

 _Orli smiled slightly. "Her namesake, yes."_

" _Whose namesake?"_

 _Orli took a breath. "You may have heard there was one survivor pulled from the farmhouse. Her room was in a corridor not destroyed by the fire._

 _The door opened and in came a grown man holding hands with someone. A very small someone. A little girl. With brown curly hair. Brown eyes._

" _Tali is Ziva's daughter. And your daughter, Tony."_

* * *

Ziva sat wide-eyed, hooked on his every word. She couldn't believe that this was how Tony found out, how Orli told him. This was so not what she would have wanted. But she'd left it too late. He deserved so much more than finding out that he was father than that. She was kicking herself, berating herself internally.

For once, Tony seemed oblivious to Ziva. He was stuck reliving that moment. "That was it. There and then. That changed everything, my whole world entirely. I was astounded. You had a child. _We_ had a child. Together. I couldn't believe it, but the proof was standing right in front of me. She was amazing, the spitting image of you. But I had so many questions. So many things I needed to ask you. But I couldn't. So I had to settle for asking Orli…"

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Wednesday 18**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, NCIS, Conference room**_

" _Poor Tali. She cried throughout the flight, enduring more in her last day than most people do in a lifetime." Orli spoke. She knew that this was going to be a tough conversation._

 _Tony just stared at her, the little girl before his eyes. His daughter. Who had just been caught up in a burning building? Who could have died? Who had just lost her mother in such a tragic way. Did she even know? "Does she even know? I mean, does she understand?"_

" _All she knows is that her mother has gone away." Orli replied. Well, that was technically the truth. She knew that Ziva had gone away for a little while._

 _Tony shuddered out a sigh. That was breaking his heart. Orli carried on. "Ziva assured me you were the only biological possibility, in case you were wondering."_

 _Well, now this was awkward. He certainly hadn't been thinking that at all. He didn't really want to discuss their sex lives. Not in front of Orli or Tali. "I wasn't. But if she had any doubts, that would explain why she didn't tell me."_

 _Orli smiled. "No doubts. Yes, she's the image of her mother, but the eyes are all you, Tony."_

" _If I'd known she was pregnant, I would've been there in a second." He quietly vented. Why didn't she tell him? Why on Earth did she shut him out? Not tell him that he was a father? That he had a daughter?_

" _Which is precisely why she didn't tell you. She didn't want to disrupt your life any more than she already had." Orli explained. That was the truth. Ziva never wanted to tie Tony down. She knew he would have given up NCIS to care for his child. And Ziva hadn't wanted to see Tony leave the job and people he loved more than anything in the world. She'd disrupted his life enough. He needed to move on._

 _Tony was fuming inside. "That was not her decision to make." How could she have the audacity to make a decision like that for him? He had the right to know that he had a child and make his own choices._

 _Orli had known that Tony would be upset by this and she could understand why. But she needed him to understand why Ziva kept Tali a secret from him. "You know better than anyone how fiercely independent Ziva was. She did not need a man to complete her. She was quite comfortable and confident raising Tali on her own."_

" _Without ever telling me." Tony couldn't believe this. He was hurt. Upset. Angry. How could she?_

" _Actually, she came to regret that decision as Tali grew, but she struggled with how to break the news. She didn't… she knew you wouldn't be pleased." Orli tried to explain._

" _Then she never knew me at all." He stated. Of course he would have been upset that she'd hidden Tali, but he would have been a part of their lives and invested in them both. Why didn't she trust him? Why didn't she know him?_

 _Interrupting his thoughts, Tony could hear noises coming from outside the conference room door. He knew exactly what was going on. Figures. He went over and opened the door to reveal Abby, McGee and Palmer. "Is it true? Can we see her?" Abby asked excitedly._

* * *

Tony's words hit her hard. That he believed that she did not know him. Orli was right, she had wanted to tell Tony about Tali for a long while. But she had been too scared. Scared of Tony's reaction; scared of the repercussions; scared. How could she be such a coward?! She knew that she deserved Tony's harsh criticism; he was right to be furious.

Tony continued. "We were all shocked that you and I had a daughter together. No one more so than me. But it let the cat out of the bag. About what had really happened in Israel. And now we had Tali as proof." Tony smiled and then sighed. "They also couldn't believe that you were gone. They were devastated. But they all tried their best to support me as I tried to get to grips with all of this."

"I took Tali back to my apartment. It just amazed me how quickly we bonded. I'd always been terrified of having my own children. But I just felt this instant connection to Tali. I loved her instantly and wanted to protect her no matter what." They both smiled at that. "We played some games, but after a while, she started crying out in Hebrew. My knowledge of the language is okay at best, so I tried to rummage through her go-bag to see if I could find what she wanted. Turns out she wanted Kelev."

Ziva smiled. Tali loved Kelev and he had to go everywhere with her. He just had to be there with her. "I also found your old scarf. The one that you wore when you had been attacked at the safe house in Israel. It still smelled like you. And it brought all these memories flooding back. Of you standing on that tarmac at the airport in Israel, telling me that I was loved; us standing in the rain outside the Embasero Hotel, with you telling me about your little sister. Our daughter's namesake. It made me miss you more. It made me sad that you were not there to see all three of us together, as a family."

Both of them thought back to those special moments between them. So much had changed since that conversation outside the Embasero all those years ago. Even between the tarmac in Israel and now, a lot had changed. The name Tali no longer only referred to Ziva's little sister, but to a young child also. Tony and Ziva's daughter.

"I struggled for a bit after that… we'd got past the honeymoon phase. The reality of the situation sunk in for Tali. She wouldn't settle or sleep all night. She just kept crying out, screaming for you." Tony shuddered, thinking back to the nightmares that he'd watched her face. It had made him feel so useless that there was nothing he could do. Ziva's face was a picture of guilt and regret. It was beyond horrible to hear about this. "I had no idea what to do. Luckily, I got a lot of help and advice from Palmer. It really helped that he's also a father with a young daughter."

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Thursday 19**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, Tony's kitchen**_

" _Look. So yummy. Yummy." Tony said as he tried to get Tali to eat something. Needless to say, he wasn't getting very far with that. Looks like Tali was as stubborn as her mother. Great._

" _Rough night?" Jimmy asked concerned._

' _Rough is an understatement', Tony thought. Ziva's words from years before ringing in his head. "Yes. Aside from the screaming, tears, not to mention poor Tali here."_

" _Oh, who's poor? All I see is happy Tali. Smart Tali. Strong Tali. You got to keep it positive, Tony. It really matters." Jimmy smiled at Tali, trying to bring some positive light into this situation._

" _Okay. Positive. She positively seems to have no appetite." Tony felt exhausted, having not slept in days. He had no idea how to look after and raise a child. Now he couldn't get her to eat anything. He felt useless._

" _Well, would you? I mean, look at these yucky jars here. No, you got to try these organic baked yams that I brought over. They're packed with vitamin C, natural fibres." Palmer spoke like a knowledgeable father._

" _Mmm. Hmm. What are you doing to my countertop?" Tony asked curiously._

" _Child-proofing… You know, it never used to bother me, getting on a plane, or driving a car, but now that I'm responsible for another human being, I have become much more safety conscious. And my job is not nearly as dangerous as yours is." Jimmy rambled._

 _Then he asked the big question. "Hey, are you, are you coming back to work?" He wondered._

 _Tony was taken aback by that. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?" He answered. Of course he would go back to work._

" _Oh, I don't know. I just… Y-You're a single dad now, Tony. And an agent in the line of fire. Just wasn't sure you'd want to juggle." Jimmy sort-of stuttered out. He hadn't intended to offend Tony, but as a field agent, he had a very dangerous job. And he was now a single parent. If he died in the line-of-fire, Tali would be parentless._

" _Well, I've been juggling my whole life, Jimbo." Tony replied defensively. What was he implying?_

 _Palmer quickly replied. "That's great. You know, as long as you're happy, I am a big believer in modelling happiness. Kids, they- they mirror so much of what they see. In about ten years, most likely, you'll have Gibbs' job, and then you'll be happy. And little Tali here will see that, and she's just gonna follow your lead, aren't you?"_

 _Tony had been staring at the little girl in front of him as Palmer spoke. He had raised a lot of good points there. Would Tony really be happy if he had Gibbs' job? Is that what he wanted now? Did he want his daughter to be a field agent? The more Tony thought about it, the more he thought that this life wasn't for him anymore._

* * *

"That really struck a nerve with me. It really, fully hit me, right there and then… that I was a single parent. In a very dangerous job. I was the only person that Tali had left. And I was killed on the job… she would have no one. It suddenly clicked. How much I wanted to be a part of her life; how I wanted to watch her grow. See the beautiful woman she would become; be a hands-on parent. I wanted her to have the childhood that we never had. And that wasn't going to happen if I stayed at NCIS. Suddenly, my career didn't matter anymore. I had a family. And that was amazing." Even when McGee was getting me up-to-date on the case, I could still only think about you and Tali…"

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Thursday 19**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, NCIS Navy Yard**_

" _She looks just like her mother. What do you make of all this, Tali, huh? Daddy taking care of you?" McGee spoke. Tali really was the spitting image of Ziva._

" _She doesn't know Daddy." Tony replied sadly._

" _What do you mean?" McGee was confused, what was Tony implying?_

" _I just met her. And if Ziva never told me about Tali, maybe she never told Tali about me." Tony voiced his concerns aloud. It worried him that his own daughter might have lived through her life so far without a clue about who he was._

" _Were you and Ziva an item the whole time?" McGee asked. He had been dying to know the answer to that for years! It had been so obvious to him that there was a spark between them, but he never knew if they'd actually been together while they were both at NCIS._

 _Ha. It was only a matter of time before someone asked that question. "Timothy Farragut McGee, how indiscreet. You know I would never kiss and tell." Tony teased cryptically. Like he was going to answer that. Besides, that question had a beyond complicated answer._

" _Sure you would." McGee knew that Tony had bragged about dates in the past. But he also knew that Ziva was different, and if he had been with Ziva, then Tony probably would not have bragged._

" _We had a connection. And obviously, a very fond farewell." Tony spoke from the heart. They'd had a connection from the start, from the infamous phone-sex conversation. They were soulmates._

 _Tim scoffed. "That's unbelievable." He'd watched his two teammates dance around each other for years. He'd watched as they became jealous of whoever the other dated. He'd watched as they'd broken down, thinking that the other one was dead. He'd watched Ziva soften and Tony mature. He'd wanted to knock their heads together to make them see sense. But never did they think that they might have done something about it._

" _I loved her, Tim." Tony revealed, glancing off into the distance. He loved her. It felt so good to finally say that aloud. He still did love her._

" _I know you do." Tim replied. It had been a long time coming to hear Tony voice those words, but it was devastating that this was all just too late…_

* * *

"You thought that I had not told Tali about you?" Ziva asked incredulously.

"I didn't know what to think." Tony snapped at her. "I know that Rule 3 is 'Never assume'. But we hadn't spoken in years and you'd kept Tali a secret from me, so it was entirely possible that you had kept me a secret from her." Ziva took a deep breath and bit her lip. Tony knew his words had struck a chord with her and so he softened his tone. "But I soon found out that you had told her about me."

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Thursday 19**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, Tony's living room**_

 _Tony sighed. "Still think you could have gotten away with "pretend tea", Dad. I don't think she would know the difference."_

" _But I would know, Junior. What does Daddy know about making tea, anyway?" Senior spoke towards his granddaughter. He was beyond ecstatic that he could call himself a grandfather now._

" _Please don't just don't call me that." Tony huffed._

 _That confused Senior. Why didn't his son want to be called a father? "Why not? Embrace it, son. This kid is a DiNozzo all the way."_

" _It's been a long day, and I need to take a shower." Tony replied, diverting the subject._

 _Then Tali accidently spilt some of the tea. Senior groaned. "Grab me a wipe out of her bag, will you?"_

 _Tony sighed but reached over to the go-bag that Orli had given to him and found the wipes._

" _Thanks". Senior spoke._

 _Tony looked back towards the bag and examined the contents properly for the first time. It was obvious that Ziva had packed this. Inside was her scarf. The one she had worn in Israel almost four years ago when she went to see Deena Bashan after being attacked and injured at the safe house. Almost unconsciously, Tony brought it up to his nose and sniffed it. God, it still smelled like her. That made his eyes water again. They were never washing this scarf._

 _Then he came across something even more special. The picture of the two of them together. On the motorbike in Paris._

* * *

 _ **Paris, France**_

" _Here we go. Hop on. Getting pretty good at this." Tony remarked, revving the engine. Ziva smiled at his antics and climbed onto the back of the bike, before putting her arms around his waist to hold onto him. As he drove off, Ziva's smile widened. He always made her smile._

* * *

" _What's this?" Tony asked, knowing that Senior had already been through the bag._

" _Oh, uh, I found that stuffed in the side of her bag. I- I figured you'd seen it before." Senior explained._

" _Ima?" Tali spoke._

 _Tony's heart broke hearing his daughter say that word. Knowing she'd never get to see her Ima again. "Yeah, that's right, Tali. Ima."_

" _What does that mean, "Ima"?" Senior asked._

" _Hebrew. It means "mother", "mom". Tony informed him._

" _Oh."_

" _Abba." Tali continued._

 _What. Tony was floored. "Tali, what did you say?" He questioned. Surely, he'd misheard that? Surely he was only hearing what he wanted to hear, right?_

" _Ima. Abba." Tali explained as she pointed them out in the photograph._

" _Abba?" Tony whispered. He had to say this word out-loud himself. Was he dreaming this?!_

" _Daddy." Senior proudly stated. He was so happy that his granddaughter knew about her father. That Ziva had told Tali about Tony._

" _Ziva must have told her. She knows me." Tony was beyond elated. He was jumping up and down inside. Ziva had told Tali about him! Maybe she did want him to be in Tali's life! He was so thankful that she had told their daughter about her father. And now he wanted to return the favour. "That's right, Tali. You want to see something?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of jewellery. A golden necklace. A gold chain with a Star of David. Ziva's necklace. "You're gonna like this. Oh, yeah. Look. This was Ima's."_

" _Ima's?" Tali copied._

" _Ima's, yeah." Tony confirmed._

" _Ima." Tali repeated with delight. Tony saw then just how much like Ziva she looked in that moment._

" _This belonged to Ima, and now it's Tali's. Come here. There you go." Tony explained as he put the necklace around Tali's neck. This was exactly where Ziva's necklace belonged. It was perfect._

 _All of a sudden, Tony's phone rang, interrupting the moment. "McGee?"_

" _Hey. You want Kort, here's your chance." Tim spoke boldly._

" _You got him." Tony stated._

" _We're about to. I'm gonna text you his location in Chesapeake City. Wait for us if you get there first." McGee told him. He didn't want Tony going after Kort without back-up. After what he'd done, McGee wasn't sure what Tony would do._

" _Are you sure he's there?" Tony asked._

" _Listen, Tony. You wanted him, we got him." McGee confirmed._

 _Tony was looking over at his daughter. And in that moment, he didn't want to leave her. He didn't want to go running off into danger. He just wanted to spend time with Tali. But he also needed revenge. The monster who killed Ziva David – Tali's mother and the woman he loved – needed to pay._

" _I'm on my way."_

* * *

"The team had caught up to Kort. Scott told them he'd met Kort during the final assignment he'd worked. His contact, Edgar, was a nuclear expert who worked for the DOD and had introduced him to Kort. The team also found Kort's boot print at Gibbs' house which had low levels of radiation that had come from a nuclear research facility. But when they got there, it was on lockdown. The surveillance cams showed Kort had abducted one of the researchers as he wanted to know where Edgar's son lived. Kort doused his house with gasoline and set it on fire. The team got him out in time and saw Kort sneak out the back…"

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Thursday 19**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, Field location near Edgar's son's house**_

" _Freeze!"_

 _Kort turned to face the team. "Old friends and new. But not the one I expected."_

" _I'm here." Tony said, appearing into sight. He had this overwhelming anger flowing through him. So much hatred towards the monster in-front of him. He was going to pay._

 _Now Kort felt nervous. Knew he was in trouble now. He'd killed the woman that the man before him had loved. "DiNozzo. I had no idea she'd be in the farmhouse. You know that." He tried to worm his way out of this situation._

" _Do I?" Tony spat. How dare he try to make excuses for killing Ziva and for almost killing Tali?!_

" _It was nothing personal. Strictly business." Kort tried to dig the hole deeper._

" _It is personal. It's Ziva." McGee piped up._

" _She was my family." Tony spoke softly. Ziva meant the world to him._

 _Kort reaches for his gun, but Tony fired first, followed by the rest of the team. They had their revenge. The man who had murdered their family member was dead. But it would never bring her back. There was a little girl without a mother now. A man without the woman he loved. They may have gotten their vengeance, but It just wasn't enough for him…_

* * *

Tony shook his head and scoffed. "Kort was dead. Problem solved, right? But it didn't matter that I'd got my revenge. That I'd avenged your death. It wasn't going to bring you back. But I could go back home and raise our daughter right. So, I went back to my apartment, tried to get some sleep. But I couldn't. It was just, so strange. Like this was all a dream; it was all such a blur. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that you were gone and that we'd had a daughter together. Things just kept flying through my brain. There were lots of things that just didn't make any sense to me. About you. About Tali. The farmhouse. My mind was screaming at me, that I was missing something. My gut was telling me that you weren't dead. And the more I thought about it, the more things I thought of that puzzled me..."

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Thursday 19**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, Tony's apartment, his bedroom**_

" _ **And then one night I had a dream**_ _ **. Everything was all lined up together."**_

" _ZIVA!"_

 _Tony sat bolt upright, panting, desperately trying to draw in a breath. His ears were now ringing; he could feel his heart pounding inside of him. How could I be so stupid? It all makes sense now. Everything was all lined up together._

 _Running his hands through his hair, Tony flopped back on the bed. His head was pounding, all he could hear was noise, chaos, shouting. He needed an outlet._

 **DiNozzo's reasons why Ziva's still alive:**

 _They haven't found a body._

 _We never saw a survivor being pulled from the house._

 _Don't believe what you're told. Always double check._

 _Where's the smell of smoke?_

 _No bruises, cuts, burns._

 _She would have known._

 _Tali was so far from Ziva in the house._

 _Kelev._

 _Ziva's scarf._

 _Paris._

* * *

"Number 11 was added after my visit to Israel."

 _Trent Kort._

"By the time I'd written the third point on my list, I'd sort of returned back to reality. Started doubting myself. Maybe it was the denial talking; me hoping that this was all just some big misunderstanding and that you were out there somewhere, alive. Senior found me sitting on the floor. Told me to man up and finish the list. Once I did, Senior came up with a plan. He grabbed my laptop and starting booking tickets. He paid for two plane tickets from DC to Tel Aviv, for Tali and I. Told me to go and find some answers about you, whether they were good or bad. He knew that we needed closure. Then told us to take a family holiday after that and get to know each other. And I had the perfect place in mind."

" _Ziva loves Paris."_

Ziva blushed. Tony knew her well. There had been a few meaningful conversations between them in the past where she had shared her love of Paris. Especially when the two of them had been in that very city together, alone…

"That made my mind up. And I wasn't going to wait a second longer. I'd already lost three years. I just had to tell El Jefe…"

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Thursday 19**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, Gibbs' basement**_

" _Look who stopped by. You got something on your mind?" Gibbs asked as Tony made his way down the stairs into his basement. He knew why Tony was there. He'd known this was coming._

" _Want to tell you why I was late today." Tony began. He needed somewhere to start, to build up to what he needed to say._

" _Well, you got there, DiNozzo. I don't need an explanation." Gibbs remarked._

" _I have one. A few months ago, you asked me what I really wanted. If I wanted to be an agent anymore. Catch bad guys." Tony chuckled. "Now I know the answer." 'I want to be a father.' Tony thought._

" _I had a feeling." He'd seen it for a while now. Could see that Tony was ready to leave. Ready to turn the page and start the next chapter in his story._

" _The Gibbs gut." Tony assumed._

 _Gibbs shock his head. "No. You. Seems to me, you've known for a while. Only now, you've got a daughter to think of. You can't only think about yourself anymore."_

 _Tony smiled sadly. "Evidently_ _we_ _have a daughter. Me and Ziva. Maybe she knew me better than I thought. When McGee called, something hit me. I got this feeling, something I'd never felt before. In that moment, I didn't want Trent Kort dead. All I wanted to do was take..." Tony sighed deeply, trying to calm himself. He couldn't break down again. "Everything that she had in her life was gone." He couldn't imagine how scary things must be for his little girl. Losing her mother, being around strangers, being in a different country…_

" _Mm-hmm. Except you." Gibbs pointed out._

 _Tony smiled a little at that. "Except me. I'm it. I'm everything to that little girl now. And I've never been anybody's everything before."_

" _But you showed up." Gibbs added._

" _Yes, I did. In all kinds of ways. But that's it. I'm done now. I'm gonna take Tali to Israel, look for some answers. Then I'm going to take her to Paris. Ziva loves Paris." Tony couldn't help but smile at that. So many memories had flooded through him. Of their conversations, of their time together in Paris. He had to follow the clues in the go-bag, follow his heart and go to Paris._

 _Gibbs silently approved. He could sense the change in Tony's demeanour. He was starting to think and see that there may be more to this. "You gotta do what you gotta do. And you gotta believe what you gotta believe." He hinted. He knew what Tony was thinking. Because he was thinking exactly the same thing._

 _Tony walked over to stand opposite Gibbs. That comment had definitely boosted his confidence that he could be right about this. "I'd say "thank you", but it doesn't quite cover it, boss." Tony went to put his hand out to shake his old boss' hand. But Gibbs pulled him in for a hug instead._

" _You take care of yourself and your family, DiNozzo." Gibbs told him, patting the back of his head._

 _Tony smiled. "Copy that, boss." It was time to put his family first…_

* * *

Ziva smiled. She was so glad that Tony and Gibbs had finally had a nice conversation and that they had sorted things out between them. But something that Gibbs had said had struck with Ziva. _"You gotta believe what you gotta believe."_ She quietly muttered those words, not realising that she'd spoken them out-loud.

Tony saw the look of concentration on her face and smiled when she spoke those words. "When he said those words, I knew that I was thinking what he had been thinking since the start of all of this. That you were still alive. And that's when his behaviour made a bit more sense to me. I'm glad we got to talk before I went. Which just left me to start packing up…"

* * *

 _ **Flashback: Friday 20**_ _ **th**_ _ **May 2017, NCIS Elevator**_

" _I just have something I need to tell you before you go." Abby explained after flicking the switch to bring the elevator to a standstill._

" _How do you know I'm going?" Tony questioned. He hadn't told anyone except for Gibbs, how could she know he was leaving?_

" _Because I'm Abby Sciuto, and I know things." She stated._

 _Tony chuckled. He should have seen that one coming. "Why did I ask?"_

 _Abby went serious. "I know how much Ziva really loved you. And I need to know that you know that, too." She revealed._

" _I do. I think." He responded, unsure of himself. Once upon a time, he thought he knew for certain that Ziva reciprocated his feelings; that she loved him. But after she'd hidden Tali and they hadn't spoken in years… he was starting to doubt that._

 _Abby sighed. She could easily see the seeds of doubt in his mind and she needed him to know the truth before he left. "Don't think. Know. I know. She told me." Abby choked on those words._

 _Tony was taken aback by that. Abby knew? Ziva had told her that she loved him? How? When? Where? What?! And he knew that Ziva kept her emotions to herself. So, to reveal to Abby that she loved him… that was quite a big step for her. Maybe Abby was right…_

" _I'm really gonna miss you, Anthony DiNozzo." Abby cried. She knew that Tony had to go, but it was still heart-breaking that she wasn't going to see him every day._

 _The two friends quickly embraced each other in a tight hug. "Not half as much as I'm going to miss you, Abby Sciuto."_

* * *

Ziva was blushing a lot and she quickly found a very interesting spot down on the floor to gain her attention. She felt her cheeks burn and turn bright red. She had almost forgotten about that conversation she'd had with Abby where she had _finally_ revealed (much to her friend's extreme delight!) her true feelings about Tony. And a few talks after that from a very persistent Abby… Ah no, she was going to have to tell him all about that now!

Tony watched as Ziva's face became a picture of embarrassment and she tried to shy away. Abby was right, Ziva had told her that she loved him! Wow… when had that happened?! How long had Ziva known that she loved him? How long had he known that he loved her? All of these questions floated around inside his head. But he knew and could see that this wasn't the right time to ask her. Ziva had confided in her friend and it was her choice if and when she told him about that conversation.

"After that, all there was left to do was to hand in my badge and gun, pack up my desk and say goodbye to everyone. Vance, Ducky, Palmer, McGee, Bishop."

Ziva was relieved that Tony wasn't pushing her, but she still felt guilty that he'd left NCIS. It had been one of the reasons why she hadn't wanted to come back into his life and mess everything up for him.

Tony knew that look and reached over to take her hand. "Hey, Ziva –."

"You still should not have had to give up your job. You love NCIS." Ziva blurted out. She knew how much Tony loved NCIS. It was his home and she never wanted him to quit for her.

Tony took her hand this time. "Hey, look at me, Zi." She did as he'd asked. "Nobody forced me to quit NCIS, Ziva. That was my decision; my choice. And it had been a long time coming. I have no regrets about leaving." He had a feeling that she would continue to feel guilty about this, no matter what he said, but he was telling the truth. It really was the right time for him to leave.

Ziva rubbed a spot up and down her left arm. She was nervous. "Tony… I am truly sorry about all of this. I wish that there had been another way for you to learn about Tali. I should have told you three years ago. I should not have kept you two apart. You are right, it was not my decision to make. I should not have been such a coward, I should have told you myself. There is no excuse." Ziva knew that she had screwed up big time. And though she would be devastated if this caused a rift between them forever, she knew that Tony could not be blamed at all. This was all her own doing.

Tony thought carefully for a while, about how to word what he was thinking. "I don't know if I can ever forgive you for that, Ziva. I've missed out on two years of her life. But I do want to work to move forwards, together." Ziva was beyond relieved about that. "I don't want to live with regrets. I don't want to fight with you. I want us to be on the same team again. And I definitely don't regret that we have Tali. She's amazing."

Ziva gave him the biggest smile she could. "Me too." After a short pause, Ziva added something. "She saved my life. She saved me from myself in Israel." She didn't need to expand upon that.

Tony returned her smile. "She saved my life too. I don't know what I would have done if it wasn't for Tali. She saved my life the day that I met her. Knowing that you were gone and that I was never going to see you again… I hadn't felt that way since I was told that you had died on the Damocles. I felt completely empty. And I didn't want to live like that. Yes, we may have been apart for three years… but I still… you mean a lot to me. So, I probably would have hunted Kort down and killed him, before letting him kill me too. I couldn't live without you."

Ziva's mouth fell open a bit at his honest confessions. It scared her to think that he wouldn't have gone on without her. She never wanted that. Which is why she believed that if she stayed out of his life, he would be safe from her. But she was beginning to feel that it may be too late for that. Ziva was just so grateful for Tali. She had saved her mother and father.

"Then I am very thankful for our amazing daughter. And I am so proud of her." She told him.

"Me too. She is our little miracle." Tony replied. He was one proud dad right now.

The two of them sat there for a while, just smiling at each other, holding hands. Just in their own little bubble. They were rebuilding that connection between them. But finally, they had to address something. "So… what do we do now?" Tony asked.

A very good question. On one hand, they could both breathe a huge sigh of relief. Everything was out in the open now. But they still had a long road ahead of them. So, what were they going to do now?

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading! It was so tough to have to revisit this episode. I'm so sorry about the almost Tiva kiss! I debated so much about that scene. I just felt that they weren't quite ready to get back to that point yet. There were still things that needed to be said and repaired between them first. I hope you have an amazing day, thank you so much for reading, until the next chapter! :)**


	17. Chapter 17: The Past

**Hello there, I hope you're all doing well! Thank you for reading my little story and thank you so much to everyone who has been supporting me, you guys are so amazing! After a few full-on, heavy chapters, I felt like we needed some more light-hearted, much quieter scenes. So that's my focus for the next few chapters. Some time for Tony, Ziva and Tali to spend a bit of time together before coming up with a strategy and some plans for the future. I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a fabulous day! :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 17 – The Past…**

 **Friday 27** **th** **May 2016 Parisian Apartment, France 8am**

Silence. So much so that it was deafening.

For the first time in a few days, it was quiet in the apartment. She was the only one there.

This place had been filled with a cacophony of talking, crying, laughing, shouting, all in the last couple of hours. And now, there was the sound of silence. Not a thing. Nothing. And even though she was used to being by herself, this environment was making Ziva feel tense, awkward and uncomfortable.

After their extended recap chat about the last three years, Tony and Ziva needed a bit of space to process everything and regroup. They needed some time.

So, Tony had taken Tali down to the local market place, as they needed some more food, now that there were three people living in the apartment. Especially as Tony was constantly eating something. Which left Ziva on her own. For now, anyways.

There had to be something that she could do to begin to make things right with Tony. She knew that even though she couldn't change her actions of the past, she had to try to make the effort to rectify things between them. He'd missed out on the first years of his daughter's life and he deserved to experience them.

Suddenly, she had an idea. She knew that she'd brought them with her for a reason.

So, after preparing a few things in the kitchen, she set of in search of some things in the bedroom…

* * *

 **Friday 27** **th** **May 2016 Rue Poncelet Market Street, Paris, France 8am**

Rue Poncelet Market Street. A beautiful market place, close to the Arc de Triomphe.

The market was filled with all the hustle and bustle. People buying things, going about their everyday lives. Lots of noise and lots of chaos. People chatting, laughing. Tourists exploring the stalls, taking pictures, asking for directions.

Tali was loving this. Bored of sitting around and too engrossed in all the excitement around them, Tali was holding her father's hand and walking beside him. Or skipping beside him more like. Unlike Tony, she was busy exploring everything around her and loving every second of this adventure.

It was gorgeous. Vibrant. Exciting.

A typical day for most people.

It was all a blur to Tony. It just sounded like a bunch of noise. But muffled, unclear. Like when you're swimming underwater.

Tony just couldn't seem to take his mind off his talk with Ziva. His mind was still ticking. Thinking things through. Going over all the information that they'd talked about. Not knowing exactly how to process it all. Although they _had_ just crammed three years' worth of information and memories into the space of a few hours… it was bound to be a little bit overwhelming, right?

His head was spinning and pounding. He needed coffee. Wasn't taking a walk supposed to help to clear your head, not make you more confused?

In the midst of his mind chaos, Tony almost bumped into a post and ended up tripping over his own feet, jarring him back to reality. Somehow, he managed to stay on his feet, but he had to blink a couple of times to regain his focus. Tony stood there, in the middle of the busy, bustling market for a few seconds, startled by his near fall.

A little but loud giggle broke through and set his world straight again. He looked down at the young girl standing next to him, who was still holding his hand in her own. The little girl with a huge grin on her face, desperately trying in vain not to burst out laughing at her father's expense. Every time he looked at her, Tali reminded him more and more of her mother. They had that same cheeky smile and the same beautiful laugh.

He couldn't wait to be a family now and watch his daughter grow up.

And in that moment, Tony realised that this was exactly what he needed.

"Oh, you think this is funny, huh?" Tony remarked mischievously, his emerald eyes twinkling bright. Then, in one stealthy, ninja move, Tony lifted Tali up into his arms and began to tickle her. The joyous sound of Tali's laughter filled the air as she squirmed desperately trying to get away. Tony couldn't help but join in with the giggling, especially when Tali tried to retaliate and tickle him back.

When they were both tired out, Tony lifted Tali up onto his shoulders, giving her a great view of the market around them. Both were a little out of breath, but you couldn't wipe the smiles off their faces. And Tali was happy with her new vantage point, allowing her to easily see what was for sale on the market stalls.

"So, Tali. What do you think we should buy?" Tony smiled up at her.

* * *

 **Friday 27** **th** **May 2016 Parisian Apartment, France 10am**

As Tony and Tali walked back into the apartment, the first thing that hit them was the smell. Those amazing smells. The smells of a freshly cooked breakfast. And coffee. _Ugh._ His stomach rumbled. Apparently, Tali approved of the delicious food smells too, as she sniffed the air and smiled widely, giving a small jump.

Hearing the front door close, Ziva exited the kitchen and saw the two of them standing there, both with the same sparkle in their eyes.

"Shalom, Ima!" Tali skipped her way over and hugged her mother's leg to greet her. Tony stood back and watched smiling at them. He loved watching the interactions between the two of them.

Ziva looked down at Tali and bent down to return her hug warmly, before glancing up at the man across the room gazing at them. "Shalom, motek." She replied. It was clear to whom this was directed at: towards both Tony and Tali.

They caught each other's eyes from across the room; gave each other a small smile.

They were going to be alright.

* * *

 **Friday 27** **th** **May 2016 Parisian Apartment, France 10:30am**

"It was a few nights after we had solved the murder and child abduction case. Where the young girl Rosie was kidnapped, and her friends father was killed in front of his daughter, Lydia." Ziva began.

After eating breakfast and making quick work of the washing and drying up, Tony and Ziva found themselves making two cups of coffee before situating themselves on the couch in the front room. After yawning through breakfast, Tali was currently taking an early nap.

Tony gave her a questioning look. He remembered the case, but why was she bringing up this old case from years ago? "After we had solved that case, Abby and I went out for drinks that night after work. I was not really feeling in the party mood, but Abby insisted that we go and celebrate." Ziva continued.

Where was she going with this? Why was she talking about a night out with Abby? What happened that night that Ziva wanted to share… oh. That's when it hit him. "Ziva, you don't have too –" Tony began. She didn't have to explain that to him if she didn't want to.

"Yes, I do." Ziva assured. Besides, no one was making her do this, she wanted to. She just had to force herself to go through with this, because there would be no going back afterwards.

"We had both had a couple of drinks, not enough to be drunk however, and we took a cab back to her apartment as it was the closest. When we got there, we ended up sitting on the couch, talking. She knew that I was hiding something about the case."

* * *

 **Saturday 1** **st** **December 2012 Abby's apartment 12:30am**

" _You're real quiet, Ziva. You should be happy, we solved the case, Rosie's back safe with her family!" Abby tried to enthuse. After solving a case and rescuing a child, she couldn't understand why Ziva seemed so sad. Something was up with her friend and she was determined to get to the bottom of it._

" _I know. I know that we solved the case and I am really happy that Rosie is safe… but I cannot help but think that Lydia has still lost her father in all of this. She has lost someone very important and special in her life. That young girl now has to grow up without her father. And she shouldn't have to." Ziva spilled out, looking down at her hands. This case had struck a bit of a chord with her, something she just couldn't shake for some reason._

 _Abby listened quietly. She knew what Ziva was talking about. And she had a feeling why her friend was feeling this way. Ziva had grown up without a mother from her teenage years and then to lose both her sister and her brother just a few years later… She'd had to grow up, fast._

" _Yeah… I know, Ziva. It's horrible. Beyond horrible. And she doesn't deserve that." Abby agreed solemnly, not really sure what else to say, how else to answer that._

" _She had to watch her best friend get kidnapped and know that she almost got sold to the highest bidder. She had to watch her father get killed right in front of her eyes. She found herself alone and staying with strangers, while her mother was far away from her out at sea, when all she wanted was to be with her family and friends. No one deserves that." Ziva commented in a monotone voice, staring straight in front of her._

 _Now Abby was seriously worried. Ziva sounded so unlike herself, so defeated. She had to show her that things weren't as glum as she potentially thought. "But, Lydia still has her mother. And Rosie's parents have their daughter back. It's not all bad. She's not alone in the world. She still has someone."_

 _Ziva finally cast her eyes over to meet Abby's. That's when Abby noticed that Ziva's eyes were welling up, filled with tears, but also a haunted look that made Abby shiver internally. "I don't think I can take anymore."_

 _Abby was shocked. Never in all the years she had known Ziva had she seen her cry before. Ziva carried a lot and never spoke about any of it. Not about her family, Somalia, Cobb… the list went on. Abby wondered just how close to her breaking point Ziva really was. She guessed she was pretty close if she didn't think she could cope with this anymore. And she felt somewhat guilty and selfish for not wanting to ask Ziva if she was thinking about quitting NCIS. She didn't want to know the answer to that question._

 _So instead, Abby took hold of Ziva's hand. "After Dearing bombed NCIS, I couldn't sleep for weeks. I kept having the same nightmare over and over again. Dearing had shown me that I felt alone. I live on my own, my parents are gone, my aunt sadly can't remember me and that leaves my little brother, Luca. It made me realise that I needed to go and talk to my brother, Kyle. Tell him that I'm his sister and build up that sibling bond between us. It really helped me Ziva, and it really helped to talk to Gibbs about all of this. Talking about things makes you feel so much better."_

 _Ziva tucked her knees up under her chin, hugging her knees and wrapping her arms around them. She had never been very good at talking about her feelings, but maybe it was time for her to start to learn how to do so. Maybe Abby was right. "I have been starting to feel alone, also. My mother, sister and brother are all gone. That only leaves my father and my aunt Nettie. The relationship with my father is… complicated at best, and both he and my aunt live in Israel, the other side of the world to America."_

 _Abby stood and came to sit on the coffee table in front of Ziva, wanting to make sure she had her full attention. "Hey, you're not alone either, Ziva. I know you've been through way more than anyone ever should in your life, yet alone a lifetime, and I know you've lost a lot of your family, but we're your family too. Me, Tim, Gibbs, Ducky, Tony, even Jimmy! We've got your back. You can always come to any of us, you can always talk to any of us, Ziva. We're always here for you."_

 _Ziva couldn't help the tears that started to trickle down her face. Abby's words carried a lot of meaning and they really meant a lot to her. She knew that they were always there for her, and she for them, but it was a beautiful thing to hear this spoken aloud. It was just that she found it all too hard to reach out and ask for help. She was supposed to be independent, strong, solid. And yet all she could feel was herself crumbling apart. How had she let herself fall this far? Ziva so badly wanted to give in and be comforted by her team, her family, but part of her wouldn't allow this to happen._

 _Abby's voice broke through her chaotic thoughts. "Plus, Tim has told me all about the whole 'post-elevator' thing you've got going on with Tony. Wanna share what that's all about?" Abby fished with a slight mischievous smile on her face._

 _That got a little smile out of Ziva. Were her and Tony really the topic of office gossip? "It is nothing, really. We have simply decided to be more open with one another, to tell each other things that mean things. Important things."_

 _Abby grinned madly. "I'm so glad you're talking to Tony. I'm glad you've got someone in your life that you can open up to. It's good you have him. You need someone too. Someone to talk to, someone to share yourself with."_

 _Ziva lightly scoffed. "I don't have him, Abby."_

" _Uh huh!" Abby teased._

" _Abby…" Ziva whined._

" _You like spending time with him." Abby stated. A comment, not a question._

" _Of course, he is my friend." Ziva confirmed straight-faced. What did that have to do with anything?_

" _Yeah, right! You guys are way more than that!" Abby cried animatedly._

 _Now it was clear to Ziva where Abby was going with this. "Abby we are just friends, nothing more." Although she wasn't sure just who she was trying to convince._

" _Yeah but you want to be more than that, right? You guys are so close, you clearly like spending time together. You spent last night together!" Abby reminded her._

" _We are best friends. And nothing happened last night. He came out to dinner with me and an old family friend of mine from Israel. They both spent the night at my place and we spent the evening talking, eating and drinking. Nothing more." Ziva explained. Really nothing had happened beyond that._

 _Abby had to make Ziva see what she could see, had to make her admit it. "Ziva… you planned to spend the evening with your friend who had flown all the way from Israel, someone who you hadn't seen in years. You could have easily spent the evening just the two of you, but you decided to invite Tony to join you. You let Tony into a special part of your life, you wanted to share that with him."_

 _Ziva blushed. Abby was right, she had wanted to introduce Tony to Shmeil. She wasn't exactly sure why, she just knew that she had wanted Tony to meet someone who was part of her Israeli family. She had wanted Shmeil to meet the man who was an important part of her American family. It just felt right._

" _I know you were all Mossad ninja warrior, but you don't have to hide your feelings." Abby commented._

" _I am not." Ziva defended. She wasn't hiding anything._

" _Well you're trying to hide the fact that you're in love with Tony." Abby blurted out._

…

 _What._

…

 _Did Abby just say…?_

 _No… she'd definitely misheard that. There was no way that Abby could suspect that, was there?_

 _Abby took Ziva's stunned silence and opened-mouth expression as confirmation of her previous statement. "You totally do!" She squealed, leaping up from her seat. She couldn't believe this had worked, she was finally getting Ziva to admit her true feelings!_

" _I do not know what you are talking about." Ziva tried desperately. She could still try to salvage this and bury this under the carpet. Abby didn't have to know about this. No one had to know._

" _Yes you do, stop trying to deny it, it's so obvious!" Abby exclaimed, still slightly bouncing around the room from excitement._

 _Ziva wanted to bury her head in her hands. Oh no. If Abby thought it was obvious, how many other people had noticed? Ducky was very perceptive. So was Gibbs. Oh no… what if Tony had noticed?! Did he know her true feelings about him? Ziva felt so embarrassed, she cold feel her face burning._

" _Hey, it's not a bad thing. It's great that you love him. You guys would be so great together. If only both of you would actually admit it out loud. Ooh this is so great! Ooh, we need a plan! Yes… You could invite him round here to your place… or you could go to his place and surprise him! Oh I can't wait, you guys can finally tell each other, this is so exciting!"_

 _Telling Tony… dating… This was going somewhere very fast. Ziva felt like she was on a speeding train. She needed to get off._

" _We cannot…" Ziva commented sadly._

 _That certainly pulled the brakes on Abby's excitement. "Why not?"_

 _What if Tony didn't feel the same way about her? But Ziva couldn't bring herself to voice that fear aloud. That would be her worst nightmare._

" _Gibbs would never allow us to date and be on the same team." Ziva reminded Abby, settling on this instead. Gibbs' rules were not to be broken, especially the infamous Rule 12._

 _Now they were getting somewhere. "Since when do you two follow the rules. You've always had your own rulebook?" Abby tried to reason._

" _What if we let it affect us at work? We could not risk the lives our team if we got into an argument or if we were not completely focused. Besides, you saw what happened between Gibbs and Tony when he was dating EJ. I would not want that to happen again. I know that Tony looks at Gibbs like a father and I will not come between them." Ziva rattled off just some of the reasons why she could not be with Tony. It would not end well for the team._

" _But you look at Gibbs like a father too. And it's different from the whole mess with EJ. She wasn't right for him. Don't you think Gibbs would want you guys to be happy?" Abby argued._

 _Ziva wasn't sure how to answer that directly. So, she settled on diverting slightly. "I could never disappoint Gibbs like that."_

" _You guys being together would never disappoint Gibbs." Abby shook her head as she tried to assure her. However, she could see that was wasn't going to get anywhere with that. "So, you're willing to prevent yourself from being truly happy?" She couldn't understand that._

 _Ziva nodded her head slightly. "If it protects the team. I have hurt you all enough and I won't allow you to be hurt or to be put at risk simply because I have finally told Tony that_ _I love him_ _."_

…

 _And those three words, those three very powerful words changed everything in an instant._

…

 _Ziva gasped audibly, shocked at her own words, her eyes wide. Oh God. Had she really just said that? Had she actually just revealed her biggest secret?_

" _I love him." She repeated in her shocked state. Her hands flew over her mouth, begging her not to say that aloud again._

 _Yep, she'd said it. Twice now. She was really digging herself a hole tonight. And right now, she just wanted to crawl right inside that hole and hide. But there was no denying it now. No going back._

 _Abby had frozen in place. She couldn't believe that not only had Ziva admitted that she had feelings for Tony, but she had actually admitted that she loved him! Oh… my… God…! Oh my God! This was unbelievable. Yes! Her excitement was threatening to bubble over and she couldn't contain her elation any longer –_

" _YES! I KNEW IT! OH MY GOD THAT'S AMAZING!" Abby screamed, jumping up and down. She pulled Ziva up off the couch and hugged her so tightly, before continuing to jump around._

 _That pulled Ziva out of her own little bubble. This was not good. How had they got to this point? She had to put a stop to this. "Abby you cannot tell anyone! Please! Especially Tony." Ziva pleaded with her._

 _Abby stopped jumping but kept the wide smile on her face. "Why not?! This is so great Ziva, you – ."_

" _He cannot know."_

 _Abby blinked. "Why not?" What was so wrong with Tony knowing? Then he could admit his feelings for her and then they could be together. Simple, right?_

" _He just… cannot." Ziva repeated, emphasising her point. It would change everything between them and she valued their close friendship way too much to risk it, in fear of losing Tony because someone got hurt or things didn't work out between them romantically. She knew she wouldn't be able to cope with that._

" _Life's too short to not tell someone you love them. What are you waiting for?" Abby queried._

 _That had stumped her. Ziva had no clue how to answer that. Because she knew deep down that Abby was right. 'He came halfway around the world for me. He means the world to me. Should I risk it? Take a leap of faith and finally tell him?'_

* * *

 **Friday 27** **th** **May 2016 Parisian Apartment, France 11:00am**

The quietness echoed around the room again.

Tony was in a stunned silence. Ziva was trying hard not to look at Tony, just waiting anxiously, awkwardly to hear his reaction. It was strange for that conversation to be out in the open.

"I wanted to tell you soon after that. I just had to find the bravery to do it. I kept trying to put it off and find the right time to talk, but it never seemed to be the right moment. My father died, we caught a lot of cases, chasing Bodnar… it just seemed like something else always came up."

"I got close to telling you once. When we were travelling home from our trip to Berlin. In the car."

So that's what she was going to talk about before they got into that car crash.

"After the car crash, with you getting hurt right in front of me, with me… I realised that I had to tell you. But then we had Bodnar to catch, then Parsons was there and he was tearing apart our team… I knew that I had missed my chance. And I knew that you would not want to be anywhere near me, yet alone be involved with me after hearing about what had happened with me and Adam."

Tony hated to admit that she was partially right about her last statement. While he could still be around her at the time, it had changed things between them and it had upset and disappointed him slightly that she had felt that she had to do that… that she couldn't call him from Israel and talk to him instead? Or talk to him in person when she got back. He really didn't want to be reminded about that again.

"So, I did not want to try again for a while after all of that. Now I can only regret that I waited so long." She continued wistfully.

"Well, we're both guilty of that." Tony admitted. "There were so many times that I could have told you how I felt about you and I didn't. But, life's too short to live with regrets and I'm glad that we finally found the time… or times… to tell each other. And I don't regret the truth being out in the open now."

Tony took hold of Ziva's hands, looking directly into he hazelnut eyes. "I'm tired of living with regrets, Ziva." He hoped she would get his message.

"So am I." Ziva replied meaningfully, gave his hands a gentle squeeze. She was truly fed up of living with regrets and she hoped that her next actions would be a first step in changing this.

"I want to show you something." Ziva suddenly spoke up. She kept hold of Tony's right hand and lead him into their bedroom.

"Please, sit." Ziva requested, indicating towards the bed. Tony did as she'd asked, casting her a strange, inquisitive look. What was going on?

Ziva took a deep breath before she reached underneath the bed and pulled out three large books. She took a seat next to him, placed the books next to her down on the bed and picked up a remote control from the bedside table. Without the need for anymore words, and seeing that she had Tony's full undivided attention, she then turned on the TV.

And on the screen appeared something that Tony wasn't expecting.

A video clip of Tali.

It was a clip of her as a very tiny baby. It appeared to have been filmed possibly a few days after she was born. From the voices in the background, he could tell that Nettie was the one who was filming, while Tali lay in Ziva's arms. This amazing little baby looked like she was trying so hard not to fall asleep, with her little eyes fluttering shut and then flying open again a few moments later.

It was a quiet, simple little scene he was watching, but to him, this was everything.

Tony was floored.

After the first clip had finished, another appeared on the screen. And then another. Videos of Tali all in chronological order were playing right in front of his eyes. It was one thing to hear stories about his daughter's young childhood, but it was another to see it for himself.

As the videos were playing, Ziva placed the books in front of him.

Tony had a feeling that he knew what was inside them now. When the video clip that was currently playing came to an end, he paused the DVD for the moment and he couldn't help but let his breath get taken away as he opened the first book. They were photo books of Tali. Two of the books were full to the brim and fully completed, with one more book partly so. Ready to be filled with photos of the three of them together.

"Nettie and I documented everything that we could." Ziva spoke softly. "She insisted that we photograph and film everything. Orli put the videos together on DVDs for us."

And Ziva wasn't kidding about that. There were so many video clips and photos. Photos of Tali crawling, rolling, being fed, covered in food, trying to walk, being hugged by her mother, by Nettie… everything that Ziva had talked about and more was in that book. Plus, there were lots of little information facts were scattered around some of the pages: how old Tali was at the time, how tall, her first experiences… but also funny little anecdotes, like when she'd managed to crawl into a basket of laundry and fall asleep underneath a pile of clothes (which included a photo of this on the page too)!

This was so special to have and to see. These were beautiful treasures and keepsakes.

"She looks so much like you did at that age." Tony quietly remarked, reminiscing back to a time just after they and McGee had quit NCIS that fateful summer, when the two of them had exchanged their own family albums and baby pictures. Ziva had wanted to see more pictures of young Tony, especially since she came to possess his boarding school picture! Ziva David had been a very cute kid with a bright smile and curly brown hair, and Tali was just the same.

"That's exactly what Nettie said, too." Ziva told him, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. "She also said that Tali has a lot of your traits too. Your eyes, your energy, your soul. She's more than right that you two are so much alike."

Tony leaned over the books slightly and took hold of her hands in his own. "Thank you." he whispered meaningfully with silent tears running down his face, splashing down onto the pages below him. He wanted her to see how much this meant to him. Both her words and her actions. He was so grateful that she had taken and kept so many videos and photos. He was also very grateful that she had brought them here with her, and that she was showing them to him now. Tony knew that she was trying hard to make amends and repair things between them. This was certainly a very good step in the right direction.

* * *

The afternoon was spent in a much more upbeat way, by having fun together. Starting off with the pair teaching Tali how to make pancakes. Which resulted in most of the mixture covering them. And the floor. And the walls… Oh well!

The ensuing kitchen flour fight resulted in a chasing game around the apartment (which now looked a little bit like it had snowed indoors!). But with the three of them laughing uncontrollably and collapsing onto the couch, no one was complaining. Pancake faces created, photographed and devoured, it was time for the adults to take a shower and Tali a bath to get clean of flour. Plus, this presented an ideal opportunity for Ziva to teach Tony how to braid their daughter's hair, something he was looking to improving at and do a lot more in the future.

Later, after they had eaten some dinner, with Tali tucked up in bed, Tony and Ziva worked effortlessly together around the kitchen to get through the washing up and cleaning up the kitchen. Ziva saw this as another chance to finish their conversation about the past.

She picked up the spray and some paper towels before walking back to the kitchen counter. "After Tali had been born and had grown up a little, I wanted to continue what I had originally planned to do when I had first decided to stay in Israel. I had meant what I told you at the airport. I wanted to make you all proud of me. I wanted to repent some of my sins. And so, I wanted to reconnect with a few people that I had not seen or spoken to in a while."

"I first met up with Malachi and Liat. Orli contacted them for me." She informed him, spraying down the surfaces.

Tony turned around momentarily from where he was doing the washing up the sink to face her. "Hey, long time no hear, how are Bonnie and Clyde?" Tony inquired with a smile.

Ziva chuckled. That was a very appropriate association for those two. "They are doing very well. The last time I had seen them was at my father's funeral, but we did not really speak much. We met up at a coffee shop in town. It was just nice to spend a few hours talking with them. It turns out that they had stayed with Mossad for a little while after working with us in DC. Then they finally decided to go on a date. They are now married and they freelance."

"Wow!" Tony exclaimed. _'Woah, good for them!'_ he thought. Tony had known that Malachi had a bit of a thing for Liat, but he hadn't seen this turning into a serious relationship and marriage! "I hadn't seen that coming, but that's really good news!"

"Yes, I am glad that they are happy." And that they hadn't waited too long before telling each other how they felt. "By the way, Malachi asked after 'Agent Meatball'!" Ziva teased playfully, wiping down the counter-top.

"Haha!" Tony laughed. Thank you to Eli David for awarding him that nickname! "Of course he did!" He probably relished in the chance to call him that! "Well, be sure to tell Maleficent that I say hello and ask if black-on-black is still in style?" He joked back, remembering how Abby had referred to Mossad. Well, it made Ziva laugh.

"That raises a good point, though. Did you stay in contact with them after that?" He asked as he picked up a tea towel and started to wipe a plate. He was hoping that she would confirm this.

"Yes, a little. We exchanged phone numbers and we did text each other a few times." Ziva answered as she moved to pick up the broom from the other side of the room. It had been good to get back into contact, form a better relationship with Liat and start to repair her relationship with Malachi.

"I'm glad." Tony smiled at her. He was happy that she had been speaking to some other people and not completely isolating herself.

Ziva smiled back, but then debated whether to reveal the next person or not. "I then met up with Adam." She blurted out, grimacing at the thought of his reaction.

Tony put the plate down and looked straight at her. That surprised him. Tony really had to bite his tongue in order to supress a groan. Everyone knew exactly how Tony felt about Adam. Hell, even Adam himself knew that Tony did not like him. Why on Earth would Ziva meet up with him of all people?

Ziva met his eyes. "That one was not planned. I was not going to meet up with him. However, he just so happened to see me about a week later in the market place. He had heard that I had been spotted meeting Malachi and Liat and he wanted to check in on me." She explained.

"What did he want?" Tony asked suspiciously, putting away the cutlery into the draw. He didn't like the sound of this. It sounded a bit odd that Adam was waiting around to try and bump into her.

"Nothing really. He just asked how I was, what I was doing and that was it really. It was a pretty quick conversation." Ziva replied, sweeping the broom around the floor. She too had found it a bit strange that Adam had managed to find her, but she wasn't going to tell Tony that. That would only make him more suspicious of Adam.

"I also tried to contact someone else." Ziva continued. However, she knew that this would be the hardest one to talk about.

There was a pause after her words, making Tony look at her expectedly.

"Deena."

"Deena Bashan?!" Tony asked astonished, his eyebrows raised. Are you kidding me?! Now that he really hadn't seen coming. He knew that Deena and Ziva had been friends once a long time ago, but he couldn't stand her after what she had said to Ziva; how she had made her feel; what that had resulted in. Why on Earth would Ziva ever try to contact her? Nothing good was ever going to come of that. Nothing.

Ziva recognised his look. And she could understand why he was giving her that look. He was looking at her like she was absolutely crazy. Maybe she was. "I wanted to try to repair things between us. I wanted to try and explain. Why I did what I had done all those years ago. And apologise for hurting her. I had no idea that she was in love with my brother."

"But I never got through to her. For some reason, I could not reach her. I tried calling her. Orli got some contacts to try to track her. She even went to her last known address. But while all of her things were there, there was no sign of Deena." Ziva continued, putting the broom away and gathering the dustpan and brush.

Tony frowned. That was a bit strange. "Maybe she just went away on holiday for a while? Maybe she was visiting family?"

"Maybe… it was just…" Ziva started quietly, quickly sweeping up the dust and putting it in the bin.

"What?" Tony asked.

Ziva sighed. "Her phone was disconnected. And she had quit her job at the hospital."

Tony wasn't liking the sound of this, putting the tea towel back in its place. "Perhaps she needed a fresh start." He suggested. However, it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself about that as well as Ziva. Deep down, he had a sneaking suspicion that this wasn't the case.

"Maybe…" Ziva whispered, returning the dustpan and brush to the shelf. Maybe she did need a fresh start. It was entirely possible. After all, Ziva had done just that herself. But she couldn't shake this feeling, like there was something more. Something that she was missing. Something that was going on here…

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading, it seriously means so much to me, I can't put it into words! :)**

 **It took me a while to figure out the conversation between Ziva and Abby, where Ziva reveals that she loves Tony. Ziva doesn't strike me as the type of person to just blurt that out, it just made sense to me that she would try to hide this at first. It turned out to be a much longer conversation than I had originally planned and anticipated!**

 **Also, the inspiration behind the anecdote about Tali crawling and sleeping in a basket of washing came from my younger sister, this is exactly what she did when she was little!**

 **I hope you all have an amazing day, thank you for your continued support and I will hopefully update again soon!**


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